what are you doing with the time and gifts given to you

its a finite existence, a privilege and a miracle

how are you spending it all, and how often do you think of it in these terms

this isnt a moping thread

if your predilection is to start listing all the time and gifts you havent got, im sure youve listed that on all the other threads

in case ye thought i was gone all cuddly just because of the topic

Skiing

Posting on a message board (oh no)

I try to think in these terms often. Best case it's practically helpful. Worst case it's psychologically helpful. very very worst case it's psychologically harmful, normally for just a minute or so

good answer xp

taking a worklife which, when i watch myself, takes up no more of my time and should take up no more of my energy and attention that is very acceptable, and provides well for me besides (a gift), and even at work, i am spending my time, attention and energy in less focused conversations and listening more in those all the time

i more and more these days try to spend the rest of my time in company that eases me or that i feel natural in, because my greatest joy is ease in good company

i am outside in all weathers more than i used to be and this is also good

linked: i spend more time than i ever have with an animal, this is very good for me both as a distraction from my own head and to observe and ponder the animal mode of being

i spend as much time as is wise chasing a football in company of other of like mind and ability, this is extremely good head space and vital for the rest of my week

i spend more time that i was playing and practicing songs and singing, this is very good

goals might be to spend (yes) less time on message board x and the phone generally and to genuinely break from linking any of my mood to a football club in london, but we are all on a journey to peace

'Its a finite existence, a privilege and a miracle'

It's one of those thoughts that feels like it should lead to some sort of realisation and therefore a different quality of life...but all too often results in a kind of paralysis, worry and inaction.

One of the problems is that the desire to 'make the most of life/ get everything sorted/live your best life' sounds simple but is beset with problems and frustrations, because it's inherently not under our control and it's imperfect and messy. Oliver Burkeman is very good on this.

i will take that as a fine recommendation and thank you, i recognise the pause and sometimes pressure the headspace brings

its a finite existence, a privilege and a miracle

when/if i think about this i mostly feel bad that what i want to do is play golf, watch golf, watch football, watch tv, sleep and read. preferably by myself. but this is the stuff that brings me happiness so i've decided to not care about the waste of privelege or miracle and dont have the imagination to contemplate the finiteness. should look into cutting my hours at work so i can enjoy more of nothing for real tho.

i have thought of ‘it’ (being ‘life’) in these terms for a while now, but whether i have actually been able to act appropriately upon this belief is another story.

in the past year, i quit most social media, went sober-ish, and started spending a lot more time working on myself, both body and mind.

i am happier and healthier than i have ever been, and i think the only thing missing is that i didn’t spend as much time with loved ones as i would have wanted,
mostly due to work.
i am trying to resolve that this year.

Such as they are? Squandering, gan dabht (ar bith, ar bith).
HOWEVER I’ve gone through times when getting up in the morning was an achievement. Trying to strive for some sort of personhood. Hope to achieve it some day.

Withdrawing more and more from life, as I get deeper and deeper into my yoga practice and study of this subject.

No time to waste.

Xppppp geez deems if you wanted to make this a brag thread there was much less wanky things to name it

I enjoyed a marvelous 2024 and hope to ride a similar groove: new friends, the occasional new lover, still getting a kick out of good books and films.

(Being outside and off-line + playing muisc very good and this is a good reminder of it yes yes) 👍🏻👍🏻

Also cosign Alfred (cept the one lovers good for me (to each their own, with love))

:)

spending a lot of money on beer, chicks, and music. The rest I just squander

I have more than a few amaro cocktails to mix in me.

no brag thread this is not about - i think- what you do or able to do "the gifts we are given is i think a humble presentation of the interface with existence)

for instance and this is not a chide thread nor a guide thread but for oscar bravo i appeal to ponder the community with the physical level of existence that striking a ball two hundred yards on a given visual line provides and the unknown aspects of where we materially and spiritually play a part into the rhythms of the universe that such efforts and acts invoke

towards peace and joy, friends, peace and joy

gyac a stór any step in any direction that seems a good step is a step mhaith in this house

Sorry immature sarcasm on my part. I enjoy your positive posting

If i were to make a thread it would be what you want to do less with your finite time on this earth and point 1. Worthless sarcasm

Every day I get nowadays is one I was not expected to see, 10 months ago, so yeah each is a gift.

In my musical life I feel like I myself am doing fine, so I am turning my attention to other people, and helping _them_ do their thing. Like pulling people up on stage to play with me, playing on people's recordings, arranging and hosting jams, that sort of thing.

xp níl aon cúlú inár gcairdeas ❤️

That was at mar dhea mac, of course

Awh i was just gonna blow a kiss

kúlúsezshi

Currently in the Dolomites and loving every second of the privilege of being here. What an amazing corner of the world, both naturally and culturally

oh what a lovely thread!

i'm excited but a little anxious to be getting the entry-level qualification needed to start working at a gym as a personal trainer. the logistics make me nervous but the main thing is i feel drawn to it. i've been into fitness and body culture since my teens and i can't do without my regular exercise practice so it feels like a natural fit, as natural as fits get. to feel more satisfied by work is a goal i had given up on. just to have a direction and to be taking little steps in it is bracing.

other than that i visit god (meditate) in the morning and evening and love two very special men. our sweet and surly orange tabby spends time next to me on the couch on wfh days. the only thing that is a waste in my life rn is the full time job, i strongly dislike it but i strive to maintain some level of equilibrium with it as it keeps the bills paid. this does not keep me from indirectly calling my manager's ideas idiotic from time to time, which she is usually too idiotic to pick up on.

darraghmac i'm happy to read that you spend more time outside! at this point for me it's as much of a requirement as getting a good night's sleep. if i go more than two days without some outside time i suffer. and i need "special" outdoors time every month or so. wilderness time. every time i take a trip to my beloved colorado plateau deserts i wonder why i shouldn't be there more often.

finally buying some expensive records I have wanted for decades, and luxuriating in how good they sound on my stereo

going out to eat insanely great foodie food as often as we can, our town is good for this

doing four (four!) different methods/angles of therapy/recovery simultaneously

starting to sell some shit off, just got rid of a bunch of books I will never re-read, got $100

giving love to the dog, walking with her and seeing how the landscape changes through the seasons

giving love to animals could be all we ever need to do

map i was hoping youd be a contributor, ive enjoyed all of the posts ive seen from you recently on this kind of thing and i always think of you as a seeking/connecting type of person which...i mean is kind of where i think the thread idea is, in terms of situating the question (its a big question adn we all ask it differently at different times)

it's video games and friends in the pub mostly i guess but freely chosen and that's fine

whatcha playing these days NV?

This thread has a nice glow about it.

I had to take some steps backward in 2024 and I'm unsatisfied and in the middle of a change phase...who knows what the outcome will be? I think there's hard work ahead and I'm trying to make myself face it and dig in. I also would like to have more loved ones and more time at ease with chosen company than I have now; we're all too "busy" and tired (me included). I spend WAY less time outside, that's something I gave up along with proximity to nature and my garden. It was necessary but there's a garden-shaped hole in my heart now. I need that back and have to figure out how to re-run my life to get it.

I got a working bike a while back and it's a pleasure to ride even in bad weather, which I'll do later today to get to a food distribution where I help give out rescued food to people. It's not perfect but it's worthy work, I think. I also do a version of this for my job, so while I "do not dream of labor," I also don't regret how I spend my days. I'm responsible for a younger person whose growth I hope I've contributed to in the last two years; she's moving on now and I'll have to find a new charge. I'm excited to meet them and grateful to give them a healthy work environment where their leadership is nurtured, something I never had.

This thread also made me order some books I've been meaning to read, I have a non-fic TBR list for 2025 that I hope will be part of my growth in this season.

To answer the thread question: not enough. I'm working on that but still troubled by it.

xpp ashamed to admit i'm playing Persona 3 Reload at the moment cos i haven't sunk enough hours into P3 already

As many here know, two years ago my wife and I moved from urban New Jersey to rural Montana, so now I spend a lot of my time looking out the window at the mountains, or walking by the lakeshore when the weather's warmer. Honestly, that has brought me so much baseline pleasure that I feel like it's shifted my whole existence into a different gear.

My day job (and the other stuff I do) generates enough money that I can afford to put other people's art out into the world. I'm gonna be releasing four albums on my label this year, the first time since 2021 I've been able to do that. (We did two a year in 2022-24.)

I write a lot. It doesn't seem like a lot until I tally it up at the end of each year, but I write a lot. 12 monthly columns, 50-100 newsletters, 2-3 standalone record reviews every month, the occasional feature-length article, a book when I have a book-sized idea... I hope that all those things bring some people pleasure and get them to listen to music they might not otherwise have heard.

In response to the second half of the opening post, "how often do you think of it in these terms" ... fairly often, honestly. I'm 53 and diabetic. I am not "middle-aged" — I am likely in the final third of my life. I have no kids, so when my wife and I go, that's the end of the story. And the only idea worse than her dying first is me dying first. So yeah, I do think about trying to make every day pleasurable in some way. Eat something really nice. Look out the window at the mountains. Take a really deep breath of extremely cold air (it's 10 degrees outside today). Read something that makes me feel good (as opposed to, say, a New York Times interview with a right-wing crank who talks like his breath stinks). It is a finite lifespan, and you don't know how finite.

map i was hoping youd be a contributor, ive enjoyed all of the posts ive seen from you recently on this kind of thing and i always think of you as a seeking/connecting type of person which...i mean is kind of where i think the thread idea is, in terms of situating the question (its a big question adn we all ask it differently at different times)

― tuah dé danann (darraghmac), Saturday, January 18, 2025 4:22 PM (fifty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

:) :) much love to you!

io i'm wowed by how you're still your beautiful self in such a challenging place. may the things you need come your way!

Bless you, map. I seem to be stubbornly myself, for better and for worse. Your experiences inspire me too!

I definitely have a sense that my time is finite, something that seemed inconceivable not that long ago. I think because my goals have gotten larger in scope--I want to grow things that take YEARS and that means I have to get started, I've wasted so much time already. I want to be someone who has done things, has been doing things for a long time, long enough to build habits and structures and bring about change, and I might not have a long time left to put in when I think in, like, decades.

it has been a long long long long long process but i finally enjoy writing again, and am doing a lot of it in my free time, for probably the first time since college. nearly two decades of feeling hatred and resentment for my work, pretty much evaporated! i think i had to transition and be happy with myself to get there. but i know that when i engage in the practice these days i feel endeared to my own voice, and am willing to let her become what she longs to be, which sometimes i don't even know about before it happens, and it makes me feel so delirious and delighted

i am also spending a lot of time being in love. it has changed everything around me and is changing everything within me. i feel the need to put it in everything i do

i'm also learning how to dj, it's hard but feels connected to everything else i do (storytelling, drumming)

love reading this thread btw y'all

i sort of resent my 9-5 sometimes but not nearly as much as when i was going into the office every day. and there are things happening around/within work (for one, i'm co-leading the queer employee resource group there, which is actually completely fucking awesome) that i feel really fortunate to have in my life

i am also spending a lot of time being in love. it has changed everything around me and is changing everything within me. i feel the need to put it in everything i do

<3

i guess i didn’t get into the “gifts” part in my post, far above, but really, I am trying to climb gracefully and powerfully while being gentle with myself, and the gym just confirmed that i will be joining the setting team, so that means i will be spending a lot of time thinking and feeling through movement and the body in a way that has given me a new perspective on life.

onethread, sort of, but on the WAYR thread I have noted that I am reading a lot of YA fiction, and am beginning the process of writing my first YA book— which feels more exciting and interesting to me than poetry has for the past few years. i am very grateful that i have been able to find a way to move forward after feeling a little lost in my writing life for a while.

That "What did you achieve in 2024" thread made me realise I spend most of my life essentially running on the spot. But at the same time, my kids grow up and I keep putting off things til 'when we have the money' and 'when we have the time'.

Also, we got a Switch at Christmas and I haven't even played the damn thing, which is how I know I need to get back to the simple things, sometimes.

I'd like to thank deems for this thread, both a gift in itself (which I'll contribute to once the dishes are done and something is watched with Jen) and a gift to Thread Connections.

as noted almost immediately in that thread tbf

I finished a novel in November and the first revision four days ago and am quite happy.

christ i only *read* my first book of 2024 the week between Christmas and NYE so that's definitely an entry and a half

I'm with LL on this. Thinking on the time I have and the aspects by dint of being vs. that "gifted" to me. Like there's an obligation to not waste the "gift" so to not disappoint the giver. To simply have these things to use however is more compatible to how I view it.

Its cool to have a bit of god talk here now and then.

Don't wanna put any words in anyone's mouth there but I suspect there might be a bit of a disconnect because in America, we all too frequently hear "God given" (rights, talents, skills, etc etc) used to describe nebulous things like this. So while I did not read the OP in that way, I can also see how someone might have had that take on it.

i'm a little baffled by your questions though. looking at what darraghmac has shared so far the thread seems to be inspired by a bit of a crisis on his part, existential or otherwise

thanks map but just ftr, not the case at the time!

things took a southern turn since but the question was a straight one

i think outside being within the four walls of a church most reasonable people understand this kind of language to mean "how does knowing your mortality influence your actions and perspective" vs "what are you doing with the gifts you've been given (by CHRIST THE LORD from whom all blessings flow)"

xp ok whoops and thanks for setting the record straight

i see how the "given to you" part could be upsetting now. totally missed it at first.

Having mastered the art of organised religion, we Irish sometimes forget it didn't go as well in other countries

I didn't take it in a religious way at all, but I also lived in California for long enough to be thoroughly washed into hippie language of "the blessings given to me by the earth spirit" etc. (I am only being slightly sarcastic, fwiw).

np at all map! tbf it was a fuckin whiplash turnaround and i know you were only coming from a good place in seeking to set it as a possibility

ive addressed quibbles about the wording/framing/intent throughout the thread until i stopped bothering but i also noted that a wide question left wide interpretation and i think most engagement has been really interesting to read, if people engaged with the question at all, i mean isnt it an interesting question? i thought so anyway.

i do think tbh some of the interpretations have been very contorted but id only note one thing as threadstarter- people *insisting* it has x, y or z built into it while totally projecting, are very presumptive and quite annoying tbh

but otherwise its obv proven quite the inkblot test, even if it wasnt meant to be

shrugemoji

no moping

It is an interesting question and worth visiting at various points along the journey - thanks for opening the can of worms

theres a wormhole joke in there somewhere

I think it's a great thread and I've really enjoyed reading so many of the thoughtful and earnest response! I'm so glad you started it, tbh.

I've attempted my own response a few times but, ultimately, I know I'm not doing as much as I should be and I'm trying to be cognizant of that and not tossing in a mopey response.

(or Diet of Worms)

I didn’t mean to come across as insistent with my assumptions about the nature of the question so my apologies for being presumptuous and quite annoying

Also very glad you took some time off and v jealous at this particular juncture in history

I was re-reading Seneca's Letters From A Stoic in the doctor's waiting room this morning (just a blood draw) and came upon #26, commonly subtitled On Old Age And Death:

'Rehearse death.' To say this is to tell a person to rehearse his freedom. A person who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave. He is above, or at any rate beyond the reach of, all political powers. What are prisons, warders, bars to him? He has an open door. There is but one chain holding us in fetters, and that is our love of life. There is no need to cast this love out altogether, but it does need to be lessened somewhat so that, in the event of circumstances ever demanding this, nothing may stand in the way of our being prepared to do at once what we must do at some time or other.

ty ty tombot - def i recognise im lucky to have options

i was however very tempted to put a thereheis sopranos gif under yer post there

for the record im not v annoyed but theres lots of posters who id wish could see their way to non-defensive answers because i know id like to hear from them in that vein

i bet nobody even watched that youtube i posted above above the eventual heat death of the universe etc but everyone should even tho bits are naff

maybe i should start a thread for "things you find really useful to centre yourself" - some good posts upthread on that too iirc and its maybe or maybe not related/tangential?

(or Diet of Worms)

― Jaq, 10 March 2025 22:17 (fifteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I must acknowledge this, vg vg

i bet nobody even watched that youtube i posted above above the eventual heat death of the universe etc but everyone should even tho bits are naff

I just included a really interesting article in my newsletter on Friday about how finitude of time/existence affects us.

Only recently has the human collective begun accepting the fact it is itself mortal. We now appreciate that events unfolded for aeons before us and that our species can disappear, never to return. One day, the cosmos will persist without human witness, nor any inherent tendency to manifest things we cherish.

The anti-war campaigner Jonathan Schell called this realisation the ‘second death’. Growing up, each of us comes to terms, psychologically, with a ‘first death’ – our own – but, beyond this, lurks the realisation that humankind itself hasn’t always existed and won’t be around forever.

For most of history, such understanding was lacking. People could defang – or outright deny – the possibility of beginnings and ends greater than those of our own biographies by appealing to eternity. Before we found evidence to prove otherwise, it was permissible to presume that, beyond tangible scales, time has no true bounds. For millennia, people have found comfort in this, because nothing dies in eternity. Given eternal time, every possibility – no matter how wildly improbable – will repeat and recur limitlessly. Outside our island of perceptible time – within eternity’s boundless ocean – it remained plausible to assume that all deceased things will eventually resurrect.

It’s now clear humanity lacks the luxury of eternity. We know this because evidence has accumulated to show that there are greater, even more encompassing mortalities than our own. We now understand Earth and its life had their origins and, one day, they will be cremated by our ageing Sun. A ‘third death’, then. Beyond that, even the Universe itself has its bounds: it began with a bang, and the consensus view is that, in the distant future, it will likely have its end. Thus, a ‘fourth death’. Multiple grander mortalities, expanding concentrically outward.

yes all of this i love it

From my perspective, by the time one has accepted personal mortality, the certain death of everyone you love, the extinction of humanity, and the complete incineration of the Earth and all its life, the eventual heat death of the universe becomes no more than a mildly interesting hypothesis rather than an occasion for intense grief.

re thread title - I constantly have in my head " 'tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free" because of it. my kid used to play it on the piano, just to really hammer it in.

i liked yr post earlier kinder i felt a lot of it

i bet nobody even watched that youtube i posted above above the eventual heat death of the universe etc but everyone should even tho bits are naff

Indeed, I haven't watched it - but have long admired this brief summary of the very end of the Universe that I came across in the Independent newspaper about 20 years ago:

The decay of protons heralds a final drawn-out phase of disintegration in the universe, as everything falls apart. After protons decay, there are no stable atoms, presenting a challenge for life. The curtain falls with the slow evaporation of black holes by a process called Hawking radiation. The largest black holes evaporate on the inconceivable time scale of 10^98 years. We imagine the last inhabitants of the universe huddled around the evaporative glow of gamma rays from the last black hole, telling timeless stories about time. It was fun while it lasted.

how we spend our days is how we spend our lives

Gortat: I'm a loner. Even when I used to live with my girlfriend I often wanted to be alone. Sometimes I cut myself off from my friends, too. They go together to a club or a restaurant and I stay at home, and I'm not answering any phone calls.

What do you do then?

Gortat: I look at the wall. I look at a white wall and contemplate.

took “gifts” to be tongue in cheek if necessary and kindly interpreted, like my attention span I cling to with a desperation

Every night, after I close my eyes, I always wonder if the next day is going to be the one I die in. I don't want to take days off to rest any more, I've done all of the slacking off that I want to do, decades worth of it. Now I just have to make up for and morn all of the time I've lost.

to pick out a question from that, if it's ok- what does "making up for" look like?

Going forward and accomplishing things.

I was re-reading Seneca's Letters From A Stoic in the doctor's waiting room this morning (just a blood draw) and came upon #26, commonly subtitled On Old Age And Death:

'Rehearse death.' To say this is to tell a person to rehearse his freedom. A person who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave. He is above, or at any rate beyond the reach of, all political powers. What are prisons, warders, bars to him? He has an open door. There is but one chain holding us in fetters, and that is our love of life. There is no need to cast this love out altogether, but it does need to be lessened somewhat so that, in the event of circumstances ever demanding this, nothing may stand in the way of our being prepared to do at once what we must do at some time or other.

― Instead of create and send out, it pull back and consume (unperson)

it's interesting. in dbt terms i'd call it "coping ahead", which is something i believe a lot in, _and_...

the "d" stands for "dialectical", right? rehearse death and be alive in the moment. both/and.

cuz there's a difference between "coping ahead" and obsessing about or expecting death the way i did when i was younger. looking forward to death, that kind of thing. as far as... when he talks about the chain holding us in fetters (not in a good way), i think about also the concept of "attachment", which i understand mostly in a western context. it's recognizing the impermanence of all things, that nothing is forever.

it is strange... as i get older, death does seem closer, but it also, by dint of being who i am and where i am, also seems closer in some other ways. i wanted for a while to be a martyr, and i thought the changes i was making would give me that opportunity, only to realize that's not what's called for, that's not what's needed. dying for what i believe in, this comes a weak second to living for what i believe in. in fact in some ways i am farther from death than i have been in quite some time. the only control i thought i could have was the power to end my own life, and i contrived all sorts of tricks to deny myself that power. at last, having to confront that i did have the power, that was when i found that i did, in fact, want to live. sometimes my desire to die overtook my desire to live, but that desire to live was never itself effaced. it is always with me. when i die i hope it will be gently, as i don't want to bring unnecessary suffering upon myself or those i love, but it will not be willingly.

accomplishing things

hmmm, as it is generally defined within the framework of capitalism (e.g. imagining and completing 'important' tasks, leaving your mark on the world beyond your friends and family) is way overrated.

otoh, if it's defined in the framework of strengthening loving relationships, finding personal satisfaction in time spent, and acts of kindness and forgiveness -- then, yeah, fabulous! more power to you!

i didnt mean to pry CGLDI- i found it interesting

this month with the gifts given me im eating mindfully and adjusting to return to work and starting meds

it feels quite enough as far as accomplishing things goes, and to touch on what aimless says

today i think ill consider the controversial "gifts given" me to mean "the wherewithal to achieve what i can as far as i can understand it" it will change tomorrow probably

no letter writing about that please let's carry on (i heard melvyn bragg say this after making an error on a podcast and liked it)

clocking off at 4:30 on a Friday bank holiday weekend and taking two dogs for a long walk on a sunny racecourse

thats a good update hit send

clocking off at 4:30 on a Friday bank holiday weekend

*sounds of 'bad to the bone' are heard*

:) that's great, sounds very lovely. what kind of racecourse? like...for bikes?

park life

cooked a lamb and red lentil bhuna and knocked the mofo out of the park, restaurant standard!

horse racecourse!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Curragh

renewing season ticket like a cunt

Who gave us this time and these gifts anyway

we covered this upthread as far as covering it goes

Yeah I came storming in about that and was appropriately reprimanded about how to properly interpret the question

just laying down for a little while

deadlift pr this morning. i took the day off just because, and i'm doing nothing and it's perfect. i might go smell some lilacs later.

tombot answer the question!

I am meeting a career counselor in an hour

I am stepping aside, allowing people to pass, helping where i can. I am trying to listen, trying to be in and of a place.

I'm hoping my gifts might be useful, I'm offering them cheaply, i'm working with people i look up to. I'm waiting. I'm lucky.

I have an agreement to work with an indigenous research and education unit. It is going slowly. I am learning.

Often i feel stupid. I am stupid. I make changes. I value guidance.