WHEN WILL BETTMAN DIE: THE NHL 2025-2026 SEASON THRED (INC PANTHERS HANGOVER 2 AND SAD ATTEMPTS TO DETHRONE THEM HOCKEY IS THE BEST)

Cory Perry

it's corey, and he's your guy now

did we ever learn why chicago straight-up waived him two years ago? such an asshole that he was infecting the kids with his assholeness?

anyway wow are teams splashing out for defensemen (who aren't really worth it)

no idea how vegas can afford mitch marner at $12m/yr but i guess alex pietrangelo doing the whole hossa/pronger basically-dead-but-on-long-term-injury-status helps

florida re-signing marchant to a six-year deal is absurd -- he's 37 -- but it's front-loaded, apparently still legal, and reasonable if you've won two Cups in a row and are looking for a third before the salary cap destroys you

see also florida bringing everyone else back

He fucked bedard’s mom iirc

i don't think i buy that, but ok

can't believe Florida keeps getting away with it.

also can't believe Boeser signed with Vancouver, really thought he was gone

Pretty happy with what the isles have done so far. Team needs to stay healthy this season though.

I know the cap is going up by a lot but the Canes and Habs signing mid-tier Dmen K'Andre Miller and Noah Dobson to expensive 8 year deals feels risky, even if they are both young.

I have a feeling there will be a lot of trades in the summer to counter the weak FA market, Ehlers aside.

kings spent an awful lot of money on brian dumoulin and cody ceci, neither of whom should be anything but a third pairing

ken holland's first order of business: let's make this team older

Speaking of old, wings signed James Van Riemsdyk for some reason

isles did good not hiring Ken Holland

so it'll be Utah Mammoth. singular. weird. could be worse i guess.

Utah Yeti would have been more fun but there are trademark issues with the brand

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/6525427/2025/07/31/hockey-hall-of-fame-tiers-nhl-inductees/

Seeing that Tavares has 494 goals made me spit out my drink

happy 38th to sidney crosby

rip ken dryden : /

panthers down both barkov and tkachuk does not bode well for a three peat

<3 MAF <3

hockey time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xzl2qq3Vi8

cautiously optimistic about the pens' quasi rebuild!

not wholly/necessarily about hockey, but sports leagues *need* fans who record and advance and care about the lore

https://i.imgur.com/JIDTKzA.jpeg

Anthony Mantha was so madly overhyped when the Wings drafted him

gross stuff by Vegas https://www.espn.com/nhl/story/_/id/46616724/golden-knights-bring-carter-hart-goalie-acquittal

so jack eichel is 5-10-15 in six games. that's a 205-point pace

the “nordiques” and “whalers” will play each other this week in what will probably be a future trivia question game

also the dream is still alive for the rangers to go 0-41 at home

still alive after a loss to the sharks(!)

sadly they still got an OT loser point

bless celebrini, his WAR equivalent must have gone though the roof yesterday

penguins currently atop the league at 8-2-2, 18 points

malkin (39yo) tied for third with 17 points

crosby (38yo) has eight goals, one short of the lead

never have i seen something so fated to regress

(it's still nice tho)

i'm glad you're enjoying it - i've been a little annoyed with the Quebec media (who are desperate for Crosby to join the habs asap), who have been characterizing this as the "worst possible start" for the Penguins - given that they really don't have a playoff dream, so it's in their interest to tank for McKenna. i keep thinking: "but it must be really fun to have this last gasp surprise!" sports fandom is about the adventure, not just the destination.

Schaefer has sure made this isles season more fun so far.

Elvis Merzlikins gave up two goals in the last minute or so of the game tonight and not only smashed his stick against the top of the net twice, but was seen crying on the bench afterwards. Kind of love that an early season isles-jackets game can be taken so intensely.

tbf that guy is a weirdo

the "worst possible start" for the Penguins - given that they really don't have a playoff dream

in the long term, this is probably correct? but sid/geno/letang not only saved hockey in pittsburgh, but won three cups in the process and have established a culture (fostered by Mario) that is incredible.

sid still delivers some season tickets in person each year. malkin's parents are folk heroes in pittsburgh. they are absolutely beloved, and i think that means a lot even if the team fails to make the playoffs again

So Jordan Binnington tried to steal the puck from Ovechkin's 900th goal, what a loser

Should have had a decoy puck in his pocket so he could switch them out

erik karlsson absolutely burying former coach mike sullivan, whose rangers remain winless at home (yet kickass on the road)

https://i.imgur.com/tmOkIDK.jpeg

also 15 of the 16 east teams are 'over .500' ban the loser point

being shut out at home 5 out of 7 times, especially after they have these centennial ceremonies with former players before the games is just so wild.

Still surprised they shipped Kreider and Trouba off to Anaheim, who are actually thriving right now.

TIL auston matthews is only 28

two incredible goals from mcdavid last night

oilers were still trailing after both of them, but i don't understand how he won't even smile after doing shit like that

needs to win the Stanley cup before he will smile

Grim men’s evening in edmonton

rip larry brooks

went to see the habs-dallas game live at the bell centre

....that sucked

Couldn’t have picked a worse game to see, ouch.

In a little disbelief that the isles not only came back against Vegas last night but also won it on a short handed (!) OT goal

Celebrini and Bedard both with hat tricks last night, the future looks bright

Rantanen is dirty now? Guy is asking for a broken neck next time he faces the Flames or Isles.

yikes stan bowman just got absolutely fleeced

Considering how goaltending has been optimized it’s wild how there are so few Dudes there are these days. I may just have residual stephane fiset trauma

hockey fans with knowledge of cult disco singles must be a rarity but every time I watch a game with Ville Husso in net, I end up singing his name to the tune of “Billy Who?” By Billy Frazier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnz1HrOBlSA

Andy K if you are reading help me out

Goodbye Quinn Hughes, jfc

That's the reason I nerfed my post :)

Ah shit wrong emoji srsly

oh that's so sad

Didn’t he just do the torch thing in Montreal? Or maybe I’m thinking of someone else.😔

think so

rip legend.

rip the habs :(

from This is the thread for unusual details in wikipedia articles.

They are the only father–son duo to both be punished by the NHL for biting other players.

― silverfish, Friday, May 29, 2026 10:15 AM

fuck this

all right let's have a fuckin series

nice challenge Torts

thank god i'm not truly invested in this series

time to get absurd <3

not like that

the kings hiring laviolette is bad enough, but it's absolutely absurd for the oilers to be hiring mike babcock (if they do)

32 teams and evidently only ~38 people in the entire world 'qualified' to coach them

in the year and a half since i wrote this, add one more to: torts, laviolette, deboer, montgomery, tocchett and quenneville

also!

rick bowness: eight (counting winnipeg twice)
bruce cassidy: will be four (whenever vegas allows him to interview ffs)

what a fucking stupid league

the NHL, where you will be fired roughly every 3.5 years but then instantly rehired (often enough by someone who fired you earlier!)

torts: five teams
laviolette: six (including five of the eight metro teams!)
lindy ruff: five (counting buffalo twice)
deboer: five
mclellan: four
maurice: five (counting carolina twice)
bylsma: three
montgomery: three
berube: three
tocchett: three
cassidy: three
sheldon keefe: only two, but i feel like he's gonna go a long way

hitchcock: six (counting dallas twice)
bowman: five
darryl sutter: five (counting calgary twice)
lemaire: five (counting new jersey three times! because lou lamiorello is insane!)
quenneville: four
burns: four
julien: four (counting montreal twice)

feel like laviolette is gonna get a chance to make it seven very soon

― mookieproof, Thursday, December 26, 2024 8:18 PM (one year ago)

another blown lead in these finals

happy for former penguin great jordan staal

'stalwart' might be better

C3 behind two hall-of-famers in pittsburgh, multiple selke finalist, carolina's Main Guy of all time, etc. anyway <3

happy for former penguin great jordan staal jankowski

i should clarify i'm kidding. i've been genuinely bummed a few times when a promising young pen gets traded. jankowski was not one of those times.

guess we were due for a boring game

so glad Vegas didn't get rewarded for all their bullshit.

carolina had a pretty easy path, but 16-3 is not fucking around

penguins' first-round picks in 2004, 2005 and 2006 have now each won a conn smythe

staal's the oldest to win one, and at 17 years has the longest gap between cups

Congrats to Taylor Hall, the first Edmonton number 1 overall pick to get a cup.

Gretzky wasn’t an overall #1? How is that possible?

iirc it had something to do with him playing in the WHA previously

Kyle Calder dead at 47

https://www.ctvnews.ca/sports/article/former-nhl-player-dies-at-47-after-illness-daughter-says-in-emotional-post/

Congrats to Taylor Hall, the first Edmonton number 1 overall pick to get a cup.

nail yakupov's day will come

also lol torts out after going 21-8-1 with vegas

"Torts out" seems fait accompli most of the time tho

Big Sam EPL style, he'll save you from relegation but you wouldn't want to be seen in the cold light of opening day with him

21-8-1 is a winning percentage that's sixth all-time for coaches, and getting a shaky team to the finals -- let alone crushing colorado -- isn't nothing

but also he* cost the team a second-round pick for crapping on the media and his insistence on repeatedly going with a rapist who allowed four goals a game in the finals is v. questionable

i mean it's funny because it's torts, but also vegas management is shitty and absurd

also RIP HNIC on CBC ;_;

Meant to post about that yesterday. I'm not a big enough hockey fan that hearing about that should make me sad, but it does.

Holy shit, why?

rogers owns CA broadcast rights now

Rogers has owned it for years and produced HNIC for the last few at least. They just chose not to renew CBC's broadcast rights. It's a bummer. I was said when HNIC lost the rights to the theme song years ago but that's nothing compared to this.

is jonathan toews a hall of famer

pro: three cups, one conn smythe, one selke, *leadership*

minus: 132nd on the NHL scoring list, 92 points behind brian propp. 150 points behind pat verbeek. 172 points behind rod brind'amour. 'wishes he and the team could have done something differently to help Kyle Beach in 2010.'

Mah

Er, Nah

agreed but i think he'll still ultimately get in bc *leadership*

also lol at both him and claude giroux being touted as rivals to sid back in the day

I suppose he does also have a gold medal and a world championship, so that helps

Like, it isn't the NHL HoF

A conn smythe generally gets you in. I’m convinced the HHOF is the easiest to get into unless you’re glenn anderson

god bless him but jordan staal is not going to get in

also phil kessel *should* have won a conn smythe and won't get in

fortunately for Toews the Blackhawks are exempt from character considerations affecting their hall cases

another Tkachuk on the Panthers, and one in the hall of fame

s. i don't think brady is that great, but he'll certainly fit in well as a second-line winger

b. florida takes back the title of most-hated team

c. is it weird for brady being the uglier brother?

d. teams are gonna be *much* less willing to give out no-trade clauses

THE HORROR OF THE TKACHUK EMPOWERMENT ERA: THE NHL 2026-2027 SEASON THRED (INC CANES HANGOVER AND SEVEN SAD CANADIAN TEAMS HOCKEY IS THE BEST)