if you could abolish farting, would you?

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Poll Closing Date: Monday, 1 September 2025 00:00 (in 1 week)

say you could press a button, eliminating all farting from this day forward. no person or animal would ever fart again. all other waste removal processes would remain business as usual. would you do it?

yes
no
it is not for me to decide


she freaks, she speaks (map), Friday, 15 August 2025 18:54 (one week ago)

Implying that we all explode in about a day or two? Or are you arguing absorption or...

Ned Raggett, Friday, 15 August 2025 18:55 (one week ago)

I think I can guess how my wife would vote on this.

more difficult than I look (Aimless), Friday, 15 August 2025 18:56 (one week ago)

xxp just that magically, we would not need to expel gas anymore.

personally i think fart humor is worth the continued existence of farts, so no, i would not.

she freaks, she speaks (map), Friday, 15 August 2025 18:56 (one week ago)

it's a bit comforting knowing for the most part we all have to do it.

(•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 15 August 2025 19:00 (one week ago)

I think excretory functions in general are a net positive for reminding us that we live inside material bodies that take things in from the environment and process them in various ways. We're just little factories made of meat. Embrace the physicality.

paper plans (tipsy mothra), Friday, 15 August 2025 19:00 (one week ago)

the early 19th century farterists movement never really got a grip on how wet farts were going to become by the 21st century

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Friday, 15 August 2025 19:04 (one week ago)

my six year old likes to whisper "i've got something really important to tell you" in my ear then drop a really loud one

Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:06 (one week ago)

but, on the whole:

farts = classic

getting older and my ageing digestion causing me to fart more often = dud

Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:09 (one week ago)

absurd to answer this seriously, but since you specifically mentioned animals I have to say that it would be damn helpful to the planet if cows stopped farting

rob, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:10 (one week ago)

At least once a day I am ‘treated’ to a room-clearing whippet fart. I don’t know how he manages it!

einstürzende louboutin (suzy), Friday, 15 August 2025 19:11 (one week ago)

sanctimony aside, I'd still vote yes

rob, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:12 (one week ago)

Both ends of a cow produce methane, but 97% of all the methane gas from a cow is released by belching rather than farting, according to the U.S. Dairy Council and the National Aeronautic and Space Administration.

Kim Kimberly, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:13 (one week ago)

I would abolish all of YOUR farts, mine are like manna from heaven

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:15 (one week ago)

lol I did not know that Kim thanks

rob, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:16 (one week ago)

though wait a minute..."according to the U.S. Dairy Council and the National Aeronautic and Space Administration" wut?

rob, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:16 (one week ago)

Quote pulled from here (not the greatest source, admittedly):
Cow farts are bad for Earth, but cow burps are worse. New plan could help cows belch less.

Kim Kimberly, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:21 (one week ago)

anyone who has been in a decades spanning relationship who is still prissy about interspatial botty burps must be Victorian mom/dad

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Friday, 15 August 2025 19:22 (one week ago)

No way. The meme about the satisfaction of farting away a tummy ache is highly relatable.

Lady Sovereign (Citizen) (milo z), Friday, 15 August 2025 19:23 (one week ago)

No way. The meme about the satisfaction of farting away a tummy ache is highly relatable.

Lady Sovereign (Citizen) (milo z), Friday, 15 August 2025 19:23 (one week ago)

Is there an option for my work requires me to disable/avoid it as much as possible ?

sarahell, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:31 (one week ago)

Oops that was a post for the AI thread

sarahell, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:31 (one week ago)

hahah

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:34 (one week ago)

A+

rob, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:35 (one week ago)

AI farts, the new fad among the teens.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 15 August 2025 19:45 (one week ago)

ive seen a meme lately which is like (maybe im butchering it a bit) a fart is just a notification for a poop which idk is strictly true but its a decently good meme regardless imo

johnny crunch, Friday, 15 August 2025 20:52 (one week ago)

ive seen a meme lately which is like (maybe im butchering it a bit) a fart is just a notification for a poop which idk is strictly true but its a decently good meme regardless imo

johnny crunch, Friday, 15 August 2025 20:52 (one week ago)

Is there an option for my work requires me to disable/avoid it as much as possible ?

― sarahell, Friday, August 15, 2025 8:31 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Oops that was a post for the AI thread

― sarahell, Friday, August 15, 2025 8:31 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

🦅🦅🦅

she freaks, she speaks (map), Friday, 15 August 2025 21:41 (one week ago)

I asked my wife once if she would give up a pinky toe in exchange for never having to use the bathroom again with no ill effects. She was horrified at the notion but I would do it in a second.

Cow_Art, Friday, 15 August 2025 21:43 (one week ago)

i like using the bathroom

she freaks, she speaks (map), Friday, 15 August 2025 21:53 (one week ago)

it's....all we have left

steal the classy spy's gun (Neanderthal), Friday, 15 August 2025 21:55 (one week ago)

lmao

she freaks, she speaks (map), Friday, 15 August 2025 22:00 (one week ago)

I think excretory functions in general are a net positive for reminding us that we live inside material bodies that take things in from the environment and process them in various ways. We're just little factories made of meat. Embrace the physicality.

― paper plans (tipsy mothra), Friday, 15 August 2025 19:00 (three hours ago)

Booming post imo

Saxophone Of Futility (Michael B), Friday, 15 August 2025 22:08 (one week ago)

On the bus home rb and literally just passed...

a graffiti tag on a wall saying 'I farted in yoga'

nashwan, Friday, 15 August 2025 22:16 (one week ago)

Farting classic
Sharting dud

Dan Worsley, Friday, 15 August 2025 22:27 (one week ago)

Farting classic
Sharting dud

"Never trust a fart after 50," as they say.

Instead of create and send out, it pull back and consume (unperson), Friday, 15 August 2025 22:54 (one week ago)

so true.. you gotta release them slowly

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 15 August 2025 23:20 (one week ago)

Where's erstwhile ilxor "I like to fart and I am crazy" on this subject

underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Saturday, 16 August 2025 01:49 (one week ago)

If I was a farter
But then again
Phbbt

steal the classy spy's gun (Neanderthal), Saturday, 16 August 2025 03:53 (one week ago)

Would only accept the pro-fart contingent's stance if instead of magically eliminating farts we magically eliminated any taboo against farting in public, as it stands I don't think the comedy or philosophical knowledge of bodyhood make up for the negatives. Plus there's the smell, I've been to a few concerts where it got truly unpleasant.

a ZX spectrum is haunting Europe (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, 16 August 2025 10:28 (one week ago)

I asked my wife once if she would give up a pinky toe in exchange for never having to use the bathroom again with no ill effects. She was horrified at the notion but I would do it in a second.

― Cow_Art, Friday, August 15, 2025 2:43 PM (yesterday)

oh totes, but mostly because bathroom breaks interrupt what i'm doing. they're inconvenient. farts, on the other hand, no, i'd never give those up. you can take my farts over my dead, smelly body.

problem with giving up a pinky is that i _already_ have a tendency to fall over. losing a toe wouldn't help.

Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, 16 August 2025 12:55 (one week ago)

my stepfather laments that his body only ever produces gentle silent airy farts. he never once got the opportunity to rip a fat one. he’s jealous of people who can, says “it must feel so good”

flopson, Saturday, 16 August 2025 14:33 (one week ago)

some exquisite double posts itt *chef's fart*

moral ziosk (geoffreyess), Saturday, 16 August 2025 14:59 (one week ago)

would be weird to explain fart jokes to young people who have only lived in a fartless world

moral ziosk (geoffreyess), Saturday, 16 August 2025 15:05 (one week ago)

Farts are great but I do wish I could take a shit without stinking up the entire world for 15 minutes afterward. I take my first coffee of the day in the shop around the corner just to save my bf and my dog from my morning stenches

you have to be avant-garde and stupid at the same (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, 16 August 2025 15:09 (one week ago)

not sure how this will sway the vote

https://i.postimg.cc/nV93x9pm/k-QWPs-Xz-Td-Fg-J09-Yyl-Gv-DTvu-Hh-Wa0-LSOqv-Jw8-Dxv-ZKq8.png

Proust Ian Rush (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 16 August 2025 15:28 (one week ago)

incredible, ty for that

sleeve, Saturday, 16 August 2025 17:13 (one week ago)

What kind of monster would say yes

chap, Sunday, 17 August 2025 00:38 (six days ago)


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