JAMIE DIMON

A thread for the JP Morgan Chase CEO who was portrayed heroically in the Too Big to Fail movie

At home he relishes lying on the couch in his library in a sort of trance, with the stereo blasting a mélange of schmaltzy tunes that includes Sinatra's “My Way”

I always get him confused with James Dyson, and not just because they both suck.

He's for sure the go to banker for pedophiles.

I can see lots of people attached to Epstein avoiding prosecution for sex crimes but I have a feeling they might go after Dimon for financial crimes.

There is a youtube documentary about him and the images they have of him as a young man — probably AI illustrations tbh — make him look like James Franco. Lol

IRL he looked more like ilxor imago

As opposed to the other huge investment banks that are putting billions into AI, Jamie and JPM are putting 750 billion into affordable housing

https://i.ibb.co/Xf7w4xCT/tmp-vbs-L8mm-Il-L.png

The least loathsome CEO of a major investment bank lol

thought this article from a year ago in which dimon complained about the rules that allow fintechs to basically data-mine their users' bank accounts for free was interesting. https://www.cnbc.com/2025/07/28/jpmorgan-fintech-middlemen-plaid-data-requests-taxing-systems.html

JPMorgan’s data shows that just 6% of Plaid’s API calls were initiated by customers.

https://sfstandard.com/2026/08/03/jamie-dimon-san-francisco-wealth-tax-ai-boom/

He wants corporations and the government to spend money to address societal woes BUT he doesn't want the wealthy to have to pay higher taxes to do so

he voiced support for a centrist, pro-business viewpoint in which corporations and policymakers have a responsibility to relieve social ills.

The banker railed against California’s proposed wealth tax and said higher crime, homelessness, and the struggles of the country’s public school and healthcare systems are the result of policy failures rather than the success of big business.

One policy of which he’s not a fan: the wealth tax on the November ballot in California. Dimon is firmly in the opposition camp, citing failed efforts in France and Germany that led to capital fleeing elsewhere.

“Tax policy should help drive competitive business, capital formation, and growth,” Dimon said.

Oh he is a big supporter of free market capitalism. Loves his capitalism our Jamie

This is a guy you put into the woodchipper face first instead of feet first as a courtesy.