Planning shit

I fall into "hate planning even though I'm not bad at it".

I get severe, palm sweating anxiety trying to fit many things into a day's schedule, the thought of accidentally double-booking myself and having to fix it keeps me up at night, and I will usually delay making decisions until ironically the wait made it significantly harder to plan

And when I do it I often become indecisive and lose four hours

'I like planning and I'm good at it' - it's actually doing stuff I find hard.

i’m an excellent improviser and most of the time this turns out fine but sometimes it’s disastrous. as a result i keep a pretty good calendar, but i’m still not much of a planner

I used to be a complete improviser who'd leave town on an hour's notice but I can't do it anymore

Wavered between "I hate planning and I'm terrible at it" and "I hate planning even though I'm not bad at it," because if I can genuinely fix my attention on planning something I can do ok at it, but a lot of the time I have no idea what I will want to do so I can't decide on anything in time to plan well, which makes me a terrible planner.

I don't think much about it and I'm OK at it.

my dad was a big planner. as a result i was probably above average at planning when i was young. i realized only much later that it was an insecurity thing. i would get so discombobulated when things didn't go according to plan.

of course life doesn't follow plans. i learned over time to be much more flexible and to lower the bar for myself, to realize it's totally ok to cancel plans just because i'm not feeling them. also to know when i'm doing too much planning. i like to plan for a day in a way where there are about 2-3 essential things in my head that i can keep track of, along with maybe a few accessories (i.e. if i'm doing x at work then i need to bring my lunch instead of eating out.) more than that and i just cut something to make it simpler. if i need to plan for something a little more complicated and outside of my routine, i will make a list (like for a camping trip), but i don't really like making lists unless i really need to.

i think the feeling of stability that planning can offer i find more through routine. i think experimentation, practice and routine are more important parts of achieving a goal than following a plan, at least for me. i see people spending a lot of time on workout plans, for instance. i used to be one of those people. it can be a good entry point to something but ultimately i think it's a little beside the point.

i think i'm actually kind of anti-planning, overall. i sort of see it as trying to force one's will on the chaos of life. a little bit of it can go a long way, but it's important not to put too much currency in it imo.

I like planning and I am good at it. Good might be an understatement.

it is lol

I didn't used to think I was good at planning. But three years ago I planned a whole cross-country move, rented an apartment sight unseen, and everything worked out great. Since then I've had the confidence to take on other large projects, like restructuring my company so I can apply for 501(c)(3) status, putting out more records, stuff like that.

I make lists every night for the next day. I need to; I run a (very small) business, plus freelancing (no day job at the moment), and there's always something that needs to be done, often on a deadline-based schedule. I try to never have more than six or seven things on my list, though, even if some of them are just "Email So-and-so about Thing." I need to maintain a certain amount of mental space so I can just zone out and think idly about something I don't need to write for two more weeks, or argue on ILX, or whatever. (The one thing that often shows up on the list but never gets checked off is "Exercise.")

with planning, it's like.. my mental field of vision has hard limits. things that are far away look larger or smaller than they are. i can straighten it out a little bit with a list or a document, a written plan. but that's about all i got. planning also takes more mental energy than it used to. i think the fact that i was brought up with planning as an anxious thing means i have less desire to do it now that i'm older. if i'm doing some kind of complicated or big pov planning it needs to be because i want something, not because i'm scared of something, if that makes sense.

an example of that would be game-playing. i'm very much not motivated to win a game. i.e. chess. so i have no motivation to do the planning that a win would require. even though i'm not intrinsically bad at it.

i've also realized this is why financial planning is like pulling teeth for me. my finances are a bit of a wreck, i've never been rich, never had a good-paying job, always been in debt. all of that is scary. doing the objective assessment required to make a plan is like hell no, there be dragons. but over time and with some self-therapy i'm starting to see that there are things that i can have that are realistic goals, that make facing the 'damaged car' that is my finances less of a self-flagellating thing and more about 'ok if i want x i need a clear view of what i'm starting with.' i've also done some self-therapy in regards to spending money and my relationship with it (a disordered relationship i got from my mom tbh). now i'm able to see 'cost-cutting' as not intrinsically 'quality-of-life-cutting' and it's starting to feel good to save money. still a long way to go but i feel like i'm laying some foundation that i was missing.

My approach to planning is 'the more detailed the plan, the greater certainty some or all of it will fail'. Overall, I try to make an easy path for what I would like to happen, or to avert the worst contingencies that might befall me, but my generalist approach all comes down to assessing the available resources and managing their allocation. Within that broad direction every day brings a variety of mid-course corrections, usually very small and easily managed.

I guess that puts me in one of the "I don't think much about planning" categories. My sense is that, when mapping out a detailed plan makes good sense, I'm good at it.

fwiw, I think people who come up with detailed "life plans" complete with timetables must feel very threatened and unsafe.

yeah. hardcore planners are using it as a replacement for religious dogma or the like, in my view.

I also learned planning from growing up with a dad who was meticulous about it. Too meticulous for my own tastes and personality, but my ability to somewhat fly by the seat of my pants is thanks to generally doing enough basic planning that I’m operating within a sturdy-but-flexible framework. The other big impact I guess was going through a divorce at the end of my 20s that showed me the great fallacy of any kind of planning.

So over the decades I’ve devised assorted formal and informal systems of planning for life that are always marked in my head with big asterisks and disclaimers: “Subject to change depending on conditions,” “Past performance is no guarantee of future results,” etc.

But there is something quite empowering about planning well enough that you make something substantial happen that wouldn’t have happened otherwise, whether that is moving to a new city or starting a business or going on a cool vacation. Anyway, I voted that I like it and I’m OK at it.

i don't particularly love planning but it's ok - I'm very good at it.

i plan loads for everything. it helps me feel that I won't have to deal with unanticipated problems.

I slightly resent the amount of time it takes but my thinking is you need to plan what you do whether it's months ahead of 30 seconds ahead.

and usually the best options are available further in advance.

I guess I'm thinking of my friend who wouldn't book a hotel on holiday until they got there. but then might have to traipse around from place to place or pay through the nose. whereas I plan hotels right from the off.

same with meal planning/shopping - (bear in mind I don't have a supermarket in my town). I do it, it's boring, but then I have what I need for the week and don't have to think about it again.

NB I'm talking about things in the near future.... I don't have any big life plans and tbh it seems like everyone else does, but doesn't plan the smaller stuff!

* months ahead OR 30 seconds ahead

I am fortunate enough to have a supermarket two blocks away, and I appreciate the way it allows me to reduce food planning. I don't mind it, but when you can play things by ear then you can take advantage of opportunities that crop up.

I do think there's a class of planning that falls into 'premature commitment'. And there's a class of spontaneity that falls into 'failed to prepare for the reasonably foreseeable'.

I do dislike the way that travel and event pricing seem to punish spontaneity. I wish folks reserved more space for last minute.

Yes, my parents live 3 mins walk from a giant supermarket. one of them probably goes there every day and I wouldn't be surprised if they spend longer "going to the supermarket" per week than I do.

but they're retired whereas I have nearly every minute of my time accounted for!

I don’t know if it’s exactly real planning, but I do like to have a list of films, gigs and other things I am doing planned over the next few weeks. And I like to have a weekend away/vacation I’m looking forward to….The more mundane things, like food planning etc, I struggle with.

I do dislike the way that travel and event pricing seem to punish spontaneity. I wish folks reserved more space for last minute.

I only hate it because I cannot do it. If I could do it then I guess I would like it.

I do think there's a class of planning that falls into 'premature commitment'. And there's a class of spontaneity that falls into 'failed to prepare for the reasonably foreseeable'.

well-said!

i like hearing the point of view of the planners. it's a very likeable personality trait imo.

The pitfalls of being a planner is that you get promoted to 'organiser'.

I am often in a group of people all saying they want to meet up but doing nothing about it! Someone, anyone, pick a date, say which dates you definitely can't do! So I end up doing that and all the stuff that goes with it.

Essentially I think my main goal in life is to reduce the amount of time I spend thinking about a thing. Decide to do it, or not do it, but I don't want to keep rethinking the decision unless something changes.

I am not sure where I fall on this spectrum, to be honest.

On the one hand, I have hosted events for much of my life— in high school I always planned little parties and get togethers, in college I was head of the board that brought concerts into town, and throughout the rest of my life I have been a promoter and producer of events, from punk shows to poetry readings. I still do this kind of work.

I have also run my own workshops, which required me to calendar out dates, collect payments and create payment plans, as well as keep the workshops going in a timely manner when they were running.

I relish planning trips.

If my daily plans are disrupted, I become upset.

But financial planning is not my strong suit, and I am often mystified by those who are good at it.

xp i also don't like spending a lot of time thinking about things lol.

getting dates in place with people is .. i've given up just doing it one way. people are so weird and varied. some people just don't want to commit. i get it. i get weird stress flashes about the emails i send at work to set up dates for meetings. they're always just so weird to me. i always feel like i'm too much so i try to dial it back. then i think people find me cold.

i'm lucky in that i can kind of .. afford to be a hermit? i'm not in any rush to make decisions about other people because i don't have dependents. obviously that makes things different.

i do like planning some things farther out in advance. mainly vacations. i'm making the transition from lodging to camping in the interest of getting more intimate with nature and also getting out of the city on the cheap. i like planning for that sort of stuff. for my own adventure. planning with others' involvement is difficult for me and usually results in stress.

I have evolved over the years into a very decent planner, perhaps even a good one, but I remain an ad-hocist to my core - I like the Eisenhower quote that goes something like “the plan is nothing; the planning is everything” - so I make plans to exercise alternatives, set a preferable course, and prepare for when this course is fucked up by circumstances.

So basically what this means is I pack extra outfits when I travel and stuff like that.

planning what and is the question whether im good at planning or executing afterwards

xp a fella has got to look hot out there. just pulling your leg.