“a mix between the weddoes & the courteeners with the swagger of the arms industry”: uk politics in 2026

IT'S TIME

(concept half-stolen from matt #2 bcz i can't think in this heat)

Talent borrows, genius steals.

Starmer apparently staying for the full term as my MP.

Did someone mention This Heat?

NEW - MPs say Bridget Phillipson and Liz Kendall confronted Kemi Badenoch about her language at PMQs today where she called Phillipson “spiteful” which Kendall said was outrageous. Badenoch reported to have said “I’m never going to stop talking about how spiteful you are”

The Tories want my vote.

tbf Badenoch, who you'll remember was working class when she worked at McDonald's, called Phillipson a "spiteful class warrior". If only!

spiteful towards..the rich? I wish a bish would

Phillipson is from a working class background much like Badenoch was when she worked in McDonald's for a couple of weeks.

Burnham's dad was a British Telecom engineer doing the hard graft of 2nd-fixing category 5 cable to RJ45 wall sockets. Kind of like a less hard working electrician/plumber type trade. Less likely to get fucked up by asbestos as well!

Kemi Badenoch goes hard after Rachel Reeves.

“She didn’t even bother to come out into Downing Street to watch the PM deliver his resignation speech.

“Then she turned up to get a selfie with Andy Burnham.

“She let him down.”

lol, some of the hardcore Starmeroids are agreeing with Badenoch

What the hell is Badenoch's deal? There must a skeleton key to understanding her ideology, who she is contrarian to and when and
why.
It seems to be just Spiked magazine, or is there more to it than that?

She actually is a spiteful class warrior.

She's in the terminally online right, so her ideology is shaped by so many conspiracy theories and weirdness it's a fool's game to try to understand her.

Patrician Nigerian family, brought up to look down her nose at plebs + Christian to boot.

Badenoch is extremely horrible but on the anthropomorphic quotient she scores higher as a human being than BP, who is literally an automaton.

Badenoch seems to be in politics for the chance to attempt to humiliate others. Given the current state of UK Pol, she has had a few opportunities to try this. However because she's about a millionth as smart as she thinks she is and lacking in any charisma, nothing particularly lands apart from how incredibly nasty she is. The fact that this exposes how opposition leader is her dream role and the highest level she'll ever reach may or may not be lost on her.

And if she was leader of an opposition that had a hope of winning an election, they'd have to fire her so somebody who cared about that or was mature enough to pause the juvenile hectoring and pretend to could take her place.

So many Universities are on the brink. Might be worth having a plan.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx2djnz3y47o

xpost She's like Rik Mayall, not as in 'New Statesman' but 'Young Ones"

"Urr look at bogey face over there...."

(another politics thread with 'smart quotes' in the title that'll look bad for years)

Well, Kasabian have outlasted Starmer..

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/HLoowvCWoAAnyGe?format=jpg&name=medium

"It was a fatally prosperous forensic year."

Harris might have eaten shit but starmzy managed to fit quite a lot of extraordinary prosecutions into his short and dismal reign tbf

Kieth will always lament that he could never match Kamala's extraordinarily absolutely fucking evil feat of using her office to block evidence that would have prevented an innocent black man from being consigned to death row. But sometimes the achievements of a prosecutor is more about who doesn't get prosecuted rather than who does!

Lol how did Kamala ever lose

FT reporting that Unite and GMB are pulling out all the stops to prevent Miliband from becoming Chancellor because they don't like his commitment to Net Zero.

... on the hottest day since records began

the express has had several front pages damning net zero in recent weeks. they really have a bee in their bonnet about it.

It's a standard right wing hate totem

(Hence Unite etc etc)

Jobs Jobs Jobs

After last night's incumbent losses to upstarts in NYC, my sources tell me Dem party leadership is reaching out to an individual they refer to only as "The Fixer", and that making that call is a "break in case of emergency" situation, but he's available and ready to go to work pic.twitter.com/AFsBLUFawJ

— Will 🦥 Menaker (@willmenaker) June 24, 2026

UK unions being pro fossil fuel, anti-green energy is not in the interests of the working classes, its purely to serve the billionaires and is so on brand for them.

Sharon Graham organised a Unite protest for a more equitable share of the weapons of death industry blood money for workers, after Italian unions had organised blockades for Gaza. It's a shameful bootlicking country is this and Graham is despicable and the other unions are all right-wing garbage as well. Which goes to show how the unionisation of BAE is a trojan horse for the UK elites and how apolitical labourism without anti-imperialism and class politics is always going to serve the interests of the scumbag elites. And this all comes the back to the complete destruction of the Labour Party also cannot come soon enough.

The Economist here is providing more hallucinations on 'Red Ed'

https://archive.ph/32o0q

still grumbling about David Miliband losing 16 years later, and then the deranged rambling from some parallel universe where somehow Ed had pulled a soft coup and is the de facto unelected leader of the UK, lol a joke publication

Laughing so hard at this AI-slop I nearly forgot to ask where he was between October 2023 and April 2024. https://t.co/GM0d2R4Uur pic.twitter.com/CGbphjflRY

— bread and poses (@breadandposes) June 25, 2026

this long twitter post by AI Carns quite obviously is 90% LLM generated slop, it's quite hilarious that he would put something so incredibly stupid out. Just lots of jaunty vacuous slogans in series, and all kind of centred around the idea that there is a consensus for the UK to become an insane permanent warfare state.

Here's the lesson I learned from Ukraine and in government, and it never changes. We invent things. Other countries build them. Other countries decide. We're brilliant at the first mile and absent for the next ninety nine.

^^^
this is one of the bits he wrote himself I think, lol

As talked about here, Burnham will need to fight his MPs

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/jun/25/bond-markets-andy-burnham-afraid-own-mp-labour

This is misreading Burnham's willingness to do a radicalism. Beside all that though, Lab MPs will not get rid of him if he went with Ed Mil and then there was some kind of radical plan for the markets and The Bank of England.

Going with Streeting as chancelllor is, needless to say, suicidal.

fully expecting eye-rolls for sharing monbiot content, but this analysis of the different political strands within the broader green movement is pretty good i think:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8ic1KVmryY

Shabana Mahmood is set to sack Mike Tapp as Immigration Minister for "unauthorised remarks"

It comes after he wrote an article calling for foreign care workers to be exempt from her immigration reforms

A source says he's expected to be sacked for breaching the Ministerial Code

"He has taken possible ideas that the Home Secretary and her team were working on, and briefed them as his own to try to win a job in the new administration

tapp’s aff weather

about 90% of Tapp's schtick used to be "here comes the deportation hardman, let's go deport some subhuman scum" and now he's getting sacked for pretending to be more nuanced on immigration!

Keir Starmer is currently refusing to sack Mike Tapp despite Shabana Mahmood's request

It’s understood No 10 see him as a Minister commenting on a policy that falls within his remit

this is getting funnier

None of this fuckery about immigration and settlement was even in the manifesto. I hope she gets pissy and quits.

was going to say I hope she falls in a hole, but let's extend that to the entire house of commons

When I moved to the UK, it was on a freelancer visa which cost nothing to get or to renew. After FOUR years, ILR. No NHS fees, and no income minimums. Just letters from regular clients saying they were happy to carry on working with you. After the first renewal, the next three were basically rubber-stamped

John Major’s Britain, people…

Farnworth (Halton) Council By-Election Result:

🌹 LAB: 51.0% (+14.6)
➡️ RFM: 36.4% (-0.0)
🌳 CON: 7.7% (-5.7)
🌍 GRN: 4.7% (-9.0)
🦅 LBT: 0.2% (New)

Labour HOLD.
Changes w/ 2026.

— Election Maps UK (@ElectionMapsUK) June 25, 2026

My rudimentary maths tells me that Labour only won that by like 10 votes or fewer the previous time

If Burnham does the minimum around cost of living, gets privitization of utilities going, is seen to mean business around cost of living and so on, we may still get a hung parliament xp

If Labour didn't have such a stonking majority I'd have put money on them calling an election before the end of the year. As it is, I think they'll sit it out.

Greens have just overturned a Labour majority in a council by-election here (Goldsmid), so much for any Burnham bounce

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/26232410.greens-take-council-seat-goldsmid-by-election-hove/

Uh, explain?

One of the adjudicated ballots which was called for Labour read “The least harming to this country”.

Keir Starmer will not sack Mike Tapp as Immigration Minister despite Shabana Mahmood’s request

No 10: “It is not for any Secretary of State to determine whether the Ministerial Code has been followed, it is a matter for the Prime Minister alone.

lol, the line between lame duck and already dead

Greens are basically a version of the Lab left, but they are meant to be their own thing.

Burnham must meet 3 key tests:

Will redistribution of power mean ditching the broken electoral system?

Will redistributed resources mean a real wealth tax and protecting the poorest?

Will a focus on local areas come with an end to the gutting of local authorities' budgets?

— Zack Polanski (@ZackPolanski) June 29, 2026

Recent LRB had a fun article about two speculative "this is how war would break out" books by generals, iirc one was German the other US.

What war are we going to?

Two people I know who are down the right wing Facebook rabbit hole think that dingys are “invading” with “fighting age men” but idk I think the British army and navy can do ok against a couple severely malnourished asylum seekers who can’t afford a real boat. Other than this codswallop, I know of no war we would ever want to join.

Oh those people absolutely do not want to fight Russia, they admire Putin and Russia too much.

Other than this codswallop, I know of no war we would ever want to join.

Wouldn't be the first time the UK joins a war that no one wanted to.

I don’t think there is an immediately plausible war the U.K. is going to join, or one that anyone is itching to start, but the US, Israel, India, Russia, maybe Brazil, maybe Germany, all on their own paths to fascism, however stable or permanent, means things are a lot more unpredictable than they would have been twenty years ago. I don’t see the US and U.K. teaming up to take on China, for example, but it’s not as unthinkable someone might invade Poland again as it would have been in the early 2000s.

Burnham’s position that “national security can’t come at the expense of social security”

Has it been registered yet that Burnham has the tendency to lie just as much as Starmer?

Some of it is surely to do with how Trump/US policy are washing their hands off Europe, in rhetoric rn but US is just too unstable. It's not implausible that NATO will come under stress hence the drive for spending on defence across Europe.

And climate change will potentially lead to food shortages in future.

All of this needs a national plan by the government instead of this garbage, which is front page headlines.

this IS the national plan. buy some jugs of water and er carry on

At least communist governments had five year plans

Has it been registered yet that Burnham has the tendency to lie just as much as Starmer?

Obviously, but his defence spending commitments are still a lot lower than what the military has asked for and notionally believes is required to maintain national security, hence the public lobbying. He and Healey have refused to set a date for reaching a 3% target (which would give the U.K. parity with Greece, if reached). It’s not like there is a blank cheque.

tbh, the lack of a plan is also pretty evident in other areas of public life - not least AI-induced unemployment, though they’re not unique in that respect.

Austerity has been one of the few commitments UK governments have made since 2008.

I kind of think it's silly to call it austerity, as that implies a temporary measure, with a goal of reducing the deficit. Surely what has been going on since about 2008 is progressive embedding of permanent Thatcherisation of society, with the primary aim of redistributing wealth upwards, shifting economic/social democracy and decision-making from workers, parliament and councils to private companies and government-controlled institutions. The overall goal is to permanently transfer economic and thus social power into the hands of government donors. Labour does not have any intention of reversing this, despite the odd sop about railways and energy.

yeah i keep wondering when the last gasp of blairism (really thatcherism) will croak itself out but it keeps coming back like a fucking zombie. james purnell is deciding who’s in and who’s out!

Some of it is the ongoing effects of a post-Thatcher consensus but a lot of it is lack of will, imagination and governance. A lot of the redistribution of wealth had already happened by 2008.

We have seen breaks with that consensus with Conservatives forced to implement a stimulus post-covid, and we are seeing railways gradually being bought back into public ownership, so 'Thatcher and corporations' isn't the full story.

Healey was one of the loudest voices for more military spending - I'm surprised that making him the Chancellor seems to have worked, at least from the point of view of making him quieter now that he has to pay for it.

A Campaign Against Antisemitism steward was filmed by Al Jazeera offering to provide “muscle” at a rally organised by Turning Point UK, a far right group that Al Jazeera revealed to have links to Loyalist paramilitary contract killers.

The CAA was already thoroughly… https://t.co/G4EuNV2cM3

— Richard Sanders (@PulaRJS) October 27, 2026

If this lands well and polling holds up over the next six months you can see Burnham calling an election.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/oct/28/budget-winners-and-losers-pensioners-and-households-gain-as-bankers-and-betting-shops-hit

Especially if there is no pact between Reform and Restore. Tories still in disarray and if they recover it would probably be post-Badenoch.

Greens ofc have their own internal battles too.

His biggest problem is Iran US war restart. But that's every sitting government in the world's problem.

Burnham's operation seems fairly tight btw. Not a ton of leaks and shithousery from the right of the party, looks like he has kept them at arm's length.

Allison Pearson gets the chop...

Allison Pearson said to be negotiating exit from Daily Telegraph amid job cull
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2026/oct/28/allison-pearson-daily-telegraph-job-cull-newsroom-cuts

meanwhile, expect to receive this Reform Propaganda Rag through your letter box:

Reform UK’s first “newspaper” has hit doorsteps amid plans to hire NCTJ-qualified journalists and ramp up its content operation

Reform UK’s first “newspaper” has hit doorsteps amid plans to hire NCTJ-qualified journalists and ramp up its content operation

On page two, Nigel Farage tells readers: "We have had enough of what we say and do being distorted by the media" pic.twitter.com/OCdJgkHSbs

— Press Gazette (@pressgazette) October 28, 2026

Also Reform TV is going to be launched.

it wouldn't be a surprise if Alison Pearson joins the Reform Newspaper / TV.

If anyone wants to return the ‘newspaper’ their address is:

Reform UK
FREEPOST RTLT-ZXHY-KSDC
83 Victoria Street
London
SW1H 0HW

On page two, Nigel Farage tells readers: "We have had enough of what we say

I’ve had enough too Nige, change the tune already

Does anyone know exactly when everyone in council tax bands A-D will be paid this £100 bung?

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/oct/28/tommy-robinson-found-guilty-of-harassing-journalists

Enough time to (get AI to help him) write Mein Kampf 2

Great bunch o' lads.

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/7b9636eb6935150042406d35d4d57f9769ed8f44/237_96_4429_3544/master/4429.jpg?width=480&dpr=2&s=none&crop=none

and Elon Musk is financing him! can we shoot all these motherfuckers into the sun yet please?!!?

It was bizarre to know Allison Pearson as the nondescript lady usually sat next to Tom Paulin on Late Review then return to the UK in 2016 to find that she'd somehow become a nazi in the intervening time.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/oct/30/climate-academic-andreas-malm-barred-from-entering-uk

Nah really Andy you're doing a great job, Labour are back, baby

utter cunts.

has to be done:

https://t.co/3lisq0MnIJ pic.twitter.com/rKztp9AqfV

— Plutôt la Barbie (@plutotlabarbie) October 29, 2026

First the RNLI now the British Legion who will these great patriots attack next.

Um, each other.

Restore Britain has been accused of stopping Nigel Farage from claiming a triple by-election victory after Reform UK lost by just two votes to Labour in Dudley.

Reform UK, which made sweeping gains in Dudley in May, was forced to defend the ward of St James's after Ivor Robinson stood down for personal reasons.

candidate for the most deranged political commentary of 2026:

by Alex "Wrong about Everything" Phillips

We need to talk about The Telegraph

One of the UK's oldest and most respected right wing papers. A broadsheet. A thought leader.

Today - a political bloodbath with some of the most talented leading commentators of our day brutally axed before the paper veers left.

What is…

— Alex Phillips (@ThatAlexWoman) October 31, 2026

that well known "Communist" company ruining British RWNJ Telegraph

Axel Springer SE
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axel_Springer_SE

This ban on smothering content is a staggering feat of stupidity, I expect it will be mostly ignored and forgotten about

Andy Burnham's Labour can still fuck off

https://bsky.app/profile/seanlwoodcock.bsky.social/post/3mzdxt4vtuk2y

It's ironic because cunts in the PLP would be thrown in the wood chipper if they had to earn the right to live anywhere

Is it nice to have a left wing government

Maybe, maybe..

Close thread.

Face-sitting without obstructing breathing is unlikely to be prohibited. I do wonder whether this particular website has engaged with regulators to establish what is permitted or whether listing a load of practices is a ploy to drive more traffic to their site.

— Jess Asato MP (@Jess4Lowestoft) November 1, 2026

Having spent numerous grim summer holidays there, curious what could lead someone’s parents to move from Palo Alto to Gorleston-on-Sea.

You missed her best tweet where she tried to link the ban to the health risks of oral sex

I guess you've got to be seen to be doing something..

I know we don't like the humiliation kink theory, but the evidence really does seem to be mounting

https://i.postimg.cc/tCV1zBQ0/image.png

also - where's her poppy?

Our greatest PM :-(

Tarczynski launching a book called Be More Polish at Mar-a-Lago at the same time as the Polish liberals are using their newly dominant position in parliament to dismantle a right-wing president’s unconstitutional apparatus of power is a great bit, tbf.

Be More Poland, even.

I would have thought he was a bit extreme even for Truss

I had heard about her doing a public Q&A interview with some proper whacko but I cant recall who.

She’s fully embedded in the US far-right now. Still only getting about 4k views per podcast episode though.

Fantastic news. Should have been done years ago.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckg7gg2zdexo