Which doctor would you most trust with your life?

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Ok, time for another stupid poll.

Poll Results

Option	Votes
Doctor Strange	7
Doctor Who (regeneration of your choice)	7
Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman	5
Doctor Octagon	3
Doctor Teeth of ...and the Electric Mayhem fame	2
Doctor Feelgood (all of them considered a single doctor for purposes of this poll)	2
Doctor Hibbert	2
Doctor Doom	1
Doctor Jones (as portrayed in the Aqua song)	1
Doctor Zaius	1
Doctor Demento	1
Doctor Strangelove	1
Doctor Dre	1
Doctor Kildare	1
Doctor Phil	0
Doctor Octopus	0
Doctor Robotnik	0
Doctor Seuss	0
Doctor Van Helsing	0
Doctor Alban	0
Doctor No	0
Doctor Caligari	0
Doctor Dolittle	0
Doctor Evil	0
Doctor Faustus	0
Doctor Fox (shit radio presenter)	0
Doctor from Doctor & The Medics	0
Doctor Hook	0
Doctor Jekyll	0
Doctor Luke	0
Doctor Marten of bovver boots fame	0
Doctor Zhivago	0

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:28 (one month ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L95bykOhsVw

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:37 (one month ago)

Doktor Dyper, reformed sniper, as portrayed in The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway

― jmm, Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:37 (one month ago)

Doctor Casino

― boners for bombs (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:43 (one month ago)

need to define in what sense i am trusting them with my life here - medical? spiritual advisor? defending me against a rampaging horde of post-apocalypse cosplayers?

― 99 gram lychee (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:48 (one month ago)

let's say you need an emergency appendectomy

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:50 (one month ago)

No Doctor House, no credibility.

― Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:51 (one month ago)

no terfs

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:51 (one month ago)

let's say you need an emergency appendectomy

Well, we have direct evidence that Dr. Hibbert can handle that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrZESCp2IsE

― jmm, Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:53 (one month ago)

as Alan Partridge found out, sadly Doctor Hook is not a qualified medical doctor.

― Oaf To Joy (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:55 (one month ago)

if it's for emergency medical treatment then obv Drs Kildare or Hibbert would be the most qualified but on the other hand i couldn't afford US medical care

Dr Quinn might do the job on the barter system which would probably work out cheaper

Dr Who can do magic i suppose

― 99 gram lychee (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:56 (one month ago)

Also, you pervs missed one:

https://themagnificent60s.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/fraulein-poster-2.jpg?w=971

Fräulein Doktor (1969)

In the case of an appendectomy, Doctor Strange. And I would be disappointed if he performed a conventional surgery, rather than making an arcane gesture and my appendix suddenly materializes in a jar.

― Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:58 (one month ago)

Faustus could get Satan to fix me right up, just a question of who foots the bill there

getting Dr Zaius in would be the equivalent of going to a vet

― 99 gram lychee (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 20 August 2026 14:59 (one month ago)

Dr. Demento, no question

― paper plans (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:00 (one month ago)

Doctor Zhivago would keep you in the waiting room for like 3 hours.

― jmm, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:01 (one month ago)

Went with Dr Strange, just can't see past the surgeon/sorceror double. I suppose Dormammu might interrupt your surgery.

― woof, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:01 (one month ago)

Doctor Zhivago is an enemy of the people so he can get to fuck

― 99 gram lychee (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:02 (one month ago)

tom baker dr who

― brimstead, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:03 (one month ago)

Doctor Stephen Vincent Strange, M.D., Ph.D. has the hard to beat combo of actual medical knowledge ("Originally a brilliant but arrogant neurosurgeon") and a mastery of the mystic arts, all bases covered.

― Ward Fowler, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:05 (one month ago)

As woof just said.

- Master of Not Reading a Thread Properly

― Ward Fowler, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:07 (one month ago)

Wait, how are none of the Star Trek docs in the poll?

― jmm, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:08 (one month ago)

xpost
Although I believe Morbius the Living Vampire - aka Dr Michael Morbius - is even more eminent in his field.

― Ward Fowler, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:10 (one month ago)

Dr Pepper, apparently, given how much of it i've drank

― ciderpress, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:11 (one month ago)

wow yeah should have had doctor spock at least, sorry.

this is the weakness of not having a nomination phase.

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:13 (one month ago)

Dr Wu

― m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:17 (one month ago)

Initially read the title as “witch doctor”

― that's not my post, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:20 (one month ago)

Dr Doctor (Mr MD)

― m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:22 (one month ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoe24aSvLtw

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:41 (one month ago)

No Dr. J, no credibility.

― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:49 (one month ago)

Also no Doctor Robert, huh

Teeth, Zaius, Dre are my top 3

Maybe write in for Doctor My Eyes

― leprechaundriac (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 20 August 2026 15:58 (one month ago)

Doctor Funkenstein, or one of his clones.

― every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in f (President Keyes), Thursday, 20 August 2026 16:00 (one month ago)

Doctor John could provide some folk ritual healing.

― every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in f (President Keyes), Thursday, 20 August 2026 16:01 (one month ago)

Doctor Manhattan would give you cancer though.

― every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in f (President Keyes), Thursday, 20 August 2026 16:02 (one month ago)

xpost As would Doctor Buzzard

― every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in f (President Keyes), Thursday, 20 August 2026 16:04 (one month ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Wednesday, 26 August 2026 00:01 (one month ago)

Dr. Bronner would surely be the wordiest and most annoying doctor you've ever had

― Josefa, Wednesday, 26 August 2026 02:21 (one month ago)

― k3vin k., Wednesday, 26 August 2026 04:06 (one month ago)

Yeah, him

― H.P, Wednesday, 26 August 2026 04:25 (one month ago)

Doctor Who: Tom Baker

― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 26 August 2026 05:37 (one month ago)

I don’t trust doctor Quinn, medicine woman - I trust the guy who throws the axe

― z_tbd, Wednesday, 26 August 2026 06:22 (one month ago)

Dre is a trap, because it's spelled Doctor, it means the "Ed Lover" Doctor Dre

― Never mind the tulips, here come the sex pistils (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 26 August 2026 18:23 (one month ago)

Dr Snuggles. No contest.

― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 26 August 2026 19:21 (one month ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0veut2aGbKg

― Happiness is a warm gurn (Tom D.), Wednesday, 26 August 2026 19:25 (one month ago)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11934336/plotsummary/?ref_=tt_ov_pl

― trm (tombotomod), Wednesday, 26 August 2026 20:39 (one month ago)

Doc Savage or gtfo

― Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 26 August 2026 20:46 (one month ago)

Dr. Frank-N-Furter sadly missing on this of all days

― Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 26 August 2026 22:04 (one month ago)

Doctor Giggles also missing

― Oaf To Joy (Boring, Maryland), Wednesday, 26 August 2026 22:09 (one month ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Thursday, 27 August 2026 00:01 (one month ago)

Here we have a borad full of They Might Be Giants fan-type people completely failing to actively nominate or even passively mention Doctor Worm for this now quite invalidated poll, now I have to do it after-the-fact. These results are meaningless! And we're supposed to believe all the fancy new methodology and infographics bells/whistles on this high-falutin' new "Sand Box" site are supposed to somehow rectify egregious omissions such as this going forward? Yeah, no! I think this site is NOT getting good, and I hope it CAN handle criticism!!!!!!!!!1111111

― del griffith, Thursday, 27 August 2026 01:14 (one month ago)

but he's not a real doctor (he is a real worm)

― jaymc, Thursday, 27 August 2026 01:35 (one month ago)

that is precisely the sort of finer point that should've been put on it when it was the appropriate time to discuss and deliberate about such matters

― del griffith, Thursday, 27 August 2026 01:51 (one month ago)

Seconding Doctor Casino.

― mick signals, Wednesday, 9 September 2026 17:40 (three weeks ago)

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