How do you get someone to notice/fancy you?

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As a companion to "How do you know if someone fancies you" thread, I thought it would be interesting to know how you get someone you fancy to fancy you back, or if they're a complete stranger, is there a method you use that gets you noticed by them (favourably, hopefully)?

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 30 November 2002 15:09 (twenty-three years ago)

You don't. Either they do or not. And if not you have to deal with it.

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 30 November 2002 15:13 (twenty-three years ago)

uh-huh - but sometimes they may not know they fancy you until you make some kind of move. They have to notice you before they can fancy you. No?

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 30 November 2002 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm not sure about that ronan. looks are very important of course, but i think charisma (or lack of) counts for a whole lot as well. which means, if you do the right things, in the right way, you can increase your chances much more.

nb. i don't know what those things are though, its stuff like mannerisms, and the things people do that make other people say things like "its so cute how he does xyx isnt' it?"

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 30 November 2002 15:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Witchcraft.

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 30 November 2002 15:25 (twenty-three years ago)

that doesnt work anna. plus the RSPCA werent too impressed either

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 30 November 2002 15:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think you can construct charisma.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 30 November 2002 15:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, it's all out of your control, I mean you can do your best to make someone think of you what you think they want to think of you but it's a bit of a wild goose chase. As for someone noticing you, I guess that is a point, but that strikes me as just getting to know someone. I mean someone can't fancy you in anything more than a seeing you on the street way until you get to know them. And I mean once you talk to them, "noticing" just means fancying really, ie seeing whatever it is about you that they like.

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 30 November 2002 16:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The tried and true method is to gently, but persistently, attempt to arrouse their lust, through flirting and dressing as attractively (and suggestively) as the circumstances permit. Find excuses to spend time with them. It helps substantially if you show a keen interest in them, by asking questions and listening intently to the answers they give.

Do not assume that an initial lack of interest has much to do with you. People are thick sometimes. Sometimes they are just not prepared to respond to your interest. Force yourself on them gently and be prepared to wait them out. In the meantime, try not to obsess, whether they fancy you in the end is out of your hands.

― Aimless, Saturday, 30 November 2002 16:15 (twenty-three years ago)

dress as spidey and dance to bela lugosi's dead....

― doom-e, Saturday, 30 November 2002 17:24 (twenty-three years ago)

"You don't. Either they do or not. And if not you have to deal with it."

I sort of agree. While I think their perception of you can change (from not fancying you to fancying you), I don't think there is much you can consciously DO to change their opinion. The change takes place in their heads, I think.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 30 November 2002 18:39 (twenty-three years ago)

― dance dance doom-e revolution, Saturday, 30 November 2002 18:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Unless you use voodoo, of course. Would anyone recommend this?

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 30 November 2002 18:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, when my indiginous form of witchcraft fails.

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 30 November 2002 20:19 (twenty-three years ago)

indiginous?

― Graham (graham), Saturday, 30 November 2002 20:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Majik doesn't mean you spell or type properly.

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 30 November 2002 20:38 (twenty-three years ago)

What kind of witchcraft is indigenous to Wolverhampton?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 30 November 2002 20:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Make sure they're not married and their significant other doesn't have any sort of effect on your carreer

― brg30 (brg30), Saturday, 30 November 2002 21:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Tell me where is fancy bred,
Or in the heart, or in the head?
Now begot, how nourished?
Reply, reply, reply.

It is engender'd in the eyes,
With gazing fed; and fancy dies
In the cradle where it lies.
Let us all ring fancy's knell:
I'll begin it, - Ding, dong, bell.

― Aimless, Saturday, 30 November 2002 21:32 (twenty-three years ago)

1) form a band.

2) get yer photo in Q and Uncut and all sorts of local press as well.

3) go onstage and rock out on guitar.

You will be followed around by boys with hair like Julian Casablancas wherever you go and everyone will fancy you! hooray! And then you get off tour and feel like a dogs dinner again... sigh.

― kate, Saturday, 30 November 2002 21:38 (twenty-three years ago)

what I do is I talk to whatever lucky lady I'm currently after and tell her all sorts of to me fascinating anecdotes.

she decides I am a freak and scarpers.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Saturday, 30 November 2002 22:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I always thought it be better to act interested in them... not yourself.

― dog latin, Sunday, 1 December 2002 02:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Introduce yourself as soon as possible, take every opportunity to babble to them about whatever nonsense you can think of, smile and invite them to do things with groups of people, make a point to talk to them first when you encounter them in a group situation. Admittedly it is harder if you are just passing by someone on the street, this strategy works best when you can have some kind of initial reason to speak to them--e.g. they work at a store or restaurant you frequent, you are in class with them, they come to work in your restaurant and the staff turns over so fast they won't know that you tend to do this with a new prospect every 3 months, etc.

It works pretty well, but if you are overly shy it can be difficult.

― webcrack (music=crack), Sunday, 1 December 2002 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

The primer is in Swann's Way.

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 1 December 2002 06:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Proust is nice!

― maryann (maryann), Sunday, 1 December 2002 06:42 (twenty-three years ago)

(Anna, I'm too dumb to call you up on your spelling, I just meant in general. So why'd you never tell us you were a witch? It's not that obvious. Though now I think about, yeah...)

― Graham (graham), Monday, 2 December 2002 13:49 (twenty-three years ago)

three years pass...

I fink you have to be persistent, spend time with them as often as possible but dont show your true feelings for them. If they believe that they could get you easily, the thrill of the chase is lost and therefore you will become less attractive to them. The way is to be both close whilst still remaining a distance at the same time.

― Sean turner charles, Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:04 (nineteen years ago)

You must be strange but not a stranger.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:10 (nineteen years ago)

I think you have to roll a natural 20. Then there's no point in even rolling a savings throw. They are going to fancy you.

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:27 (nineteen years ago)

Two steps forward, three steps back. Or hmm...do I mean one step back? Or one step forward? I forget. Someone be a doll and get me a bromide, and put some gin in it.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

"I fink you have to be persistent, spend time with them as often as possible but dont show your true feelings for them. If they believe that they could get you easily, the thrill of the chase is lost and therefore you will become less attractive to them. The way is to be both close whilst still remaining a distance at the same time. "

mmm...not so sure,work for some but not for others.depends also on the age.
you might end up being just "good friends", no sex...

― some things, Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:34 (nineteen years ago)

i agree with ronan

― awesome is as awesome does (lucylurex), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

I find the long, inconclusive mating dances that compose most of my interactions with potential romantic interests so frustrating. I wish I could just ask people flat out whether they like me (or vice versa), and not have it be uncomfortable and weird. It would make my life 100000000X simpler.

― Laura H. (laurah), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.hdbeat.com/images/2005/10/willyou.jpg

― Laura H. (laurah), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:44 (nineteen years ago)

You CAN ask, of course, but whether or not it's good for the situation...who knows? Like everything, it probably depends. See, aren't uncertainty and suspense and insecurity FUN?!

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

the maybe box is trouble, it has to go. xpost!

― sleep (sleep), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:50 (nineteen years ago)

Have you tried just doing that, Laura? It's not really that much weirder than a guy asking you out -- and in some cases way easier, since there's a clear-cut statement of intent and less teasing around it all.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

(That's if you can pull off "hey, do you like me," as opposed to "do you want to do XYZ on Friday," which still leaves room for the teasing-around.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

And then there were two.... (XXP)

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:53 (nineteen years ago)

Can I delete the NO box too? xxxpost

― Laura H. (laurah), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

Mark C once advised me that the best way to deal with the exponentialising weirdness and doubt of knowing someone you fancy for longer and longer was to just ask them out before you'd known them very long? I am just coming to appreciate the trueness of this now I think!

Mind you, I found out someone really unexpected fancied me last month, it has pretty much pushed my whole answer (find yr Game, play yr Game, fin) into totally confused.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:55 (nineteen years ago)

You don't. Either they do or not. And if not you have to deal with it.

You kind of have to deal with it even more if they DO fancy you!

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

1. Remove pants
2. Waggle genitalia
3. Repeat as neccessary

― John Justen (johnjusten), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 22:03 (nineteen years ago)

That's how I DEMOLISH SPORTS STADIUMS.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

You kind of have to deal with it even more if they DO fancy you!

That's easy, Trace! Just get them drunk.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 22:07 (nineteen years ago)

Have you tried just doing that, Laura? It's not really that much weirder than a guy asking you out

In my experience, guys tend to get flustered and weirded out when you do this, so I don't. Are the old adages about women asking guys out really true? My mother continually advises me that if someone really likes me then he'll do the pursuing but it is v.v. frustrating to be perpetually passive.

― Laura H. (laurah), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 22:13 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.flashgames247.com/images/214.jpg

― Laura H. (laurah), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 22:14 (nineteen years ago)

Ihttp://www.nbhtravel.com/manatee/manatee%20on%20its%20back.jpg

― IS A NOIZE DUDE'S DINK MOIST?, Wednesday, 19 April 2006 22:23 (nineteen years ago)

I think the "oh! they do like me" does cause a definite decrease in fancying but obviously not enough to make you say no if you like them anyway? Like, pretty much the same as asking someone out and them saying yes, in fact, for the same reason? I guess you weren't sure how you felt about someone then being asked out would probably tip it into 'no', but being asked out by someone who turns out actually not to have deepdown fancied you all along is gonna lead to pain anyway, so you're probably not missing much. If that makes any sense.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 22:41 (nineteen years ago)

i still hold by my old standby, "put their hands on your ass", but since to my knowledge there's no video game that whimsically enacts this schema i will admit it may be outside the mainstream

xpost i don't think it does. make sense.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 22:45 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 46 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i dnt go on a pc to have fun

ilx is fun?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 20 April 2006 12:08 (nineteen years ago)

And if not you have to deal with it.

Could we have useful hints for this part, pls?

― C J (C J), Thursday, 20 April 2006 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

eggs are the best.

The answer, from ILX experience is TITS.JPG

― JW (ex machina), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

Oh gosh, that depends on so many things! Sometimes it's the beginning of a satisfying downwardly spiral, involving self-destructive-but-still-fun things and fatalism. Probably not a good idea, though, if you don't already know that you can pull yrself out of it, or that it'll pass. So for the depressives among us, I say: living extra healthily and pursuing all kinds of self-improvement in defiance of the rejection. For me, no morning ever holds more possibility than one in which my time is ALL my own and the day could still turn into absolutely anything.

For the bad-temperedness between actual rejection and the dawning of the hopeful/defiant period, I suggest throwing plates.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:27 (nineteen years ago)

Or eggs! That could do, I guess.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

Call me old-fashioned, but you can't go wrong with burning your name on their lawn with acid.

― Mingus Realty (noodle vague), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:38 (nineteen years ago)

what if they say 'oh i really like you" and you actually say 'well i like you too" and then NOTHING HAPPENS afterwards

I would like to refer you to Jon's answer.

― Dan (TITS.JPG) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

Another thought: also good for throwing are empty beer and/or liquor bottles thrown at bridge pilings. Good for DUMBO & associated neighborhoods. I spose you could troll local bars to collect the empties, but I do suggest drinking them down yr own self.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

Advice for men: Pull her hair. Push her off the slide. Wait for love's blossom to unfold.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Cooties (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

Beeping your car horn

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

here's an oldie-but-goodie: i have asked out my housemate's close friend, and she has tentatively agreed. problem is, now all my cards are on the table - she knows i fancy her. how do i regain the upper hand, or at least preserve some air of does-he-or-doesn't-he ambiguity?

― yuengling participle (rotten03), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

tell her you're gay, but you just fancied a go of some muff.

― teh_kit says 'FACES' (g-kit), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

how do i regain the upper hand, or at least preserve some air of does-he-or-doesn't-he ambiguity?

Call her names. If she cries, you've preserved the ambiguity.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

It may be a mistake to think that just ASKING means that all is revealed, though! All the asking means is that you have at least a passing interest in continuing association. You've still got all your personal attention/involvement/revelation to play with over the course of the date/s.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

fluffy bear obviously never went to primary school. calling them names means u love them.

― teh_kit says 'FACES' (g-kit), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

be utterly casual and charming. the casual element is key -- aura of "oh yeah, i ask people out all the tme, and they inevitably accept, and then sometimes it clicks and sometimes it doesn't." i.e., yr. indicated interest is kept steady at just that -- a pleasant passing fancy.

xpost w/ laurel

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 20 April 2006 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

sterl otm i suspect. although the asking may have blown it -- we were talking about our recent respective dating disasters, and i prefaced it by saying "i thought you were dating [SO AND SO]" and when she said no, i asked by saying "so i don't want to make things weird with you and [HOUSEMATE] but would you like to go out with me some time?" and babbled some more about not wanting things to get weird. in my defence, i was *loaded*.

― yuengling participle (rotten03), Thursday, 20 April 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

doglatin aren't you like, 8?

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 20 April 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

Haha to tits. jpg, although the, uh, potential recepient has already seen them (in non jpg form even).

The momentum on this one has passed, I just want to know what to do next time.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Thursday, 20 April 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

date other girls, too. and clandestinely see to it that she finds out about it. this will drive her nuts.

― Will (will), Thursday, 20 April 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

dog latin seems younger than he is, i think. always mistake him for being an 8-year old, too. but i think he's 25.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Thursday, 20 April 2006 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

I thought he was 12

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 20 April 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

Does anyone fancy mime artists? It occured to me that mime artists must be very lonely.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 20 April 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

re: throwing things, i recommend the east river.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 20 April 2006 21:02 (nineteen years ago)

Smash vs splash.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 20 April 2006 21:04 (nineteen years ago)

girls should ask guys out.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 20 April 2006 21:25 (nineteen years ago)

So that works, then?

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 20 April 2006 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

i wouldn't know. : (

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 20 April 2006 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

We need a test case, someone completely unaware of our covert experimentation.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 20 April 2006 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

I think its better the other way round. The only times it's ever happened to me I've stood there in mild shock for a couple of minutes while blathering inanely and consequently ruined everything.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 20 April 2006 21:30 (nineteen years ago)

who are these boys who do the asking out? i have never met them

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Thursday, 20 April 2006 22:56 (nineteen years ago)

― the unbearable lightness of peeing (orion), Friday, 21 April 2006 02:27 (nineteen years ago)

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7539/586/1600/53.0.jpg

― JW (ex machina), Friday, 21 April 2006 02:55 (nineteen years ago)

That photo has my hormones a-ragin'!!!

― JTS (JTS), Friday, 21 April 2006 17:41 (nineteen years ago)

For some reason I keep thinking that this thread was started by someone who desperately wants someone to Bedazzle her.

http://www.neighborhoodvalues.com/nv/crafts/bdaz1.jpg

― Dan (Fancy! And Ouch!) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 21 April 2006 17:46 (nineteen years ago)

"how do you get someone to fancy you up"

Fancy you up vs knock you up!

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 21 April 2006 19:23 (nineteen years ago)

tonight i am trying this method on the boy from the "origin of surname thread. HAI!

i hope brazilian flesh is easily bedazzled

so the date went outrageously well, aside from the fact that i didn't attempt snogging. how do i proceed to snogging?

― yuengling participle (rotten03), Sunday, 23 April 2006 06:38 (nineteen years ago)

"is that something in your eye?"

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Sunday, 23 April 2006 09:26 (nineteen years ago)

You snog their eyeball!?

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 23 April 2006 09:47 (nineteen years ago)

Cozen line: "kiss or high five?".

― Ally C (Ally C), Sunday, 23 April 2006 10:49 (nineteen years ago)

don't cross the cozen line

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 23 April 2006 11:18 (nineteen years ago)

cozen effect

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 23 April 2006 11:19 (nineteen years ago)

"Stud Setting Machine"

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Sunday, 23 April 2006 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

In my experience, it seems they must have a boyfriend.

― Hal! Jordan! HAL! JORDAN! (Barima), Sunday, 23 April 2006 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

how do i proceed to snogging?

Oh just lean in! That's such a nice moment, right before the snogging starts but you both know it's about to happen.

― Laurel (Laurel), Sunday, 23 April 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

Grab a tit/nut and sing some Puccini at her/him.

― Dan (Today Is Opposite Day, Right?) Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 23 April 2006 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

(No. Which might mean yes IF it's Opposite Day. You decide.)

― Laurel (Laurel), Sunday, 23 April 2006 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

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