What's Your Favourite Current Insult?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Mine is fucktool, or assmonkey.

what's yours?

― nellie (minna), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

cockmonkey.

― James Ball (James Ball), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Assclown.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

bah i am boring. it's stil COCKFARMER!

though haha "assclown". haha.

― katie (katie), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm very partial to "knobgoblin".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Muffinhead.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

cockfarmer!

but I think maybe vadgemonkey or twatmunk should have wider currency.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

bitch-nose

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Cuntlick

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know, I think I usually say "fucking idiot" or something generic but it's the way I say it. I don't like strange and unusual insults.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

fanta baby

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Numbnuts
Monkeyspunk (it's the "k" sound)
Monkeyfuck (see above)
Dipstick
Dead ass (as in "get off your dead ass & study")
Bitch ass
Assclown (an old reliable vituperative, oh yes)

Google THIS!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Arsemonkey isn't an insult. She comes from a long line of proud Arsemonkeys and you'd be wise not to fuck with her.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

gee, i dunno.... fartshaft?

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I the only one to break free of the "Obscenitynoun" cage? Respect me!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

similar to numbnuts but better:
Dumbnuts

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Possibly.

Most recent insult faves: ringpiece and ning. You speak to nings every time you ring a call centre.

Queerbait was the big one in my junior high, as was dick-smack.

Kate is saying 'dickwad' was au courant at her junior high.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Muppet.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Hotard. There's this tour bus company called Hotard and it seems the perfect combination of Ho and Retard, neither of which I'd normally use as an insult but together it's great. Especially considering all the hotardesque qualities exhibited by your average tour bus patron.

― adam (adam), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Ass goblin
Knob
Nick Carter

― Aaron W, Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Pratwanger.

― Mr Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Queerbait was the big one in my junior high, as was dick-smack.

dick smack, haha. at school we had dicksplat, that was a classic.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Imbalid

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I use "functionalist scum" whenever I can. I like "gene splicing faggot", but I've never found an opportunity to use it.

― Dave Fischer, Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Cockbite.

― webcrack (music=crack), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm really getting into throwing "gobshite" around these days, as well as "cockblocker" and "tool".

I also like variations on the "shut your ____-hole!" thing, like...

"shut your pie-hole!"
"shut your bong-hole!" (best followed with "...you stinky hippy!")
"shut your pussy-hole!" or "shut your cock-hole!" are the most effective

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

top marks.

it reminds me of how in Cavan there is a chipshop advertising Ho' Made Burgers. "Flip that pattie, bitch! yeow!" etc.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

asshat anyone?

― Cprek, Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

assbandit is a current favourite...

suzy has misquoted me. i said that in jr high, the favoured insult was "weiner-schnitzel". this was because in glee club, we performed a selection from the sound of music, and there's a line about schnitzels in that. nobody knew what one was until our patient music teacher explained about the joys of schnitzels and weiner-schnitzels in particular. so we all went around merrily calling each other weiner-schnitzel for the rest of seventh grade...

in high school, obviously, the insult of choice was the always handy BOTARD!!! as in, fucking botard, you're no danger to anyone or anything but the solvents out behind the woodshop!

― kate (suzy), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

twatbasket

― dwh (dwh), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

twunthearse

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

GO BACK TO YOUR GHETTO

― jm, Tuesday, 3 December 2002 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

chucklehead

― bnw (bnw), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

you're so weedy, you'd never get choosen to be in Ribena!

(do you see???)

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I usually don't like extravagent swearwords. They usually sound a bit studenty (this includes "cockfarmer"). The furthest I'll go is "fuckface".

I like Dave's "functionalist scum" very much though.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"Arsebiscuits"-not so much an insult but I say it if someone's talking crap.

― Michael Bourke, Tuesday, 3 December 2002 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

"This Wine Is To Good For You!"
Must be said with no wine about in the style of a crazed Parisian.

I still mutter 'Shediac!' to myself.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Spastic. But I keep being told I'm not allowed to use it. Or cripple, which is number two.

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember talking to a friend and saying so and so was a "fucking spastic" on the bus and this girl beside me went crazy and said her brother was handicapped and called me a prick. I was shocked by her outburst and the best I could mutter was "Well, well, that's not MY FAULT!". Then everyone beside me hid their faces in their coats.

― Michael Bourke, Tuesday, 3 December 2002 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"Yes, he seemed perfectly nice. Very lifelike."

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

trout sniffer

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuckflaps

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael, you have just made me guffaw at work.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Beardo.

(Note: only works with people who have beards.)

― llamaskool, Tuesday, 3 December 2002 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I go for simple but classic. "Swine" is just a beautiful insult.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I use either the simple "You 'FARMER" or tardparade.

― liz! (liz!), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

TARDPARADE!!!!!!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

sonofabitch, fucktard and of course the perennial cockfarmer

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

dickjerk

this is actually a 'real' name (sort of) in Dutch and also perfectly combines the 2 basic stems of US masturbation denigration jockspeak. It's only funny when you can picture the euro earnestness of its bearer faced with the giggling englishers to whom he'd just introduced himself.

I predict someone on this thread will soon put together a javascript-based random insult generator cf.:

http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html

...the endings tard and claat are essential.

Hotard above is beyond classic.

― ds, Wednesday, 4 December 2002 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Dicktickler. Fuckwit. Pussyman. Fratfuck (on this campus...),

the good old Tool,if you say it right, is so effective, and versatile

why all the emphasis on masculinity here? for gurls: Sorostitute (also, on THIS campus, ahem) is an all-time classic. Diva. Bitchness. Plastic Hottie?

Emo-boy

― V, Wednesday, 4 December 2002 02:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i can't seem to get past "douchebag"

― ron (ron), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 02:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"Imperialist swine."

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

toffee-nosed prat

― rainy (rainy), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

stupid fuck, dickbreath, fuckface, or any combination thereof. Also I call one of my friends that's a bit fruity, "Pole polisher."

― B, Wednesday, 4 December 2002 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Especially considering all the hotardesque qualities exhibited by your average tour bus patron.

At William and Mary we called them "tourons" -- tourist + morons.

I currently favor "dildo-breath."

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 03:09 (twenty-two years ago)

In Mackinac City the common names for tourists are "Fudgies," or my favourite "Cone suckers," as they are always seen with one or the other.

― B, Wednesday, 4 December 2002 03:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I find that non-swear words have more impact.

Rockist and Popist are both good - mainly because no-one (including myself) knows what I mean.

― toraneko (toraneko), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

If you are going with swear words though, fucko is kinda cute.

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 04:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"Saracen dog!"

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"Dickfor."

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 06:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"fucko"

works best yelled at people in traffic, i.e., "nice turn signal fucko!"

Not as effective when said quietly.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 09:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuckin' shit-ass

― dave q, Wednesday, 4 December 2002 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Treehumper, tool of the adbuster machinery or fine art student!

Anti-capitlaist pigdog and Rebel Scum! are my more freindly insults.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Trophy ho'
Evil munchkin
Pixie bitch (coined just for Gail Porter)

I have just told Freak Flatmate his note about paying the council tax read as though it had been written by someone for whom English was a second language. He didn't understand what I meant.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

is this because english is his second language?

we (and this includes my boss) call our IT software bloke Will Tosspot, cos it sounds a bit like his surname, which needless to say, i'm not putting here innit...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuckknuckles.

― rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 4 December 2002 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Mine is now Cockfoster.

― webcrack (music=crack), Thursday, 5 December 2002 22:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Asshead!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 5 December 2002 22:46 (twenty-two years ago)

"Fucko" is too buddy-buddy to really be used when you wanna stick it to someone. I use "fucko" when I get razzed by my friends, and I'm trying to think of a wicked comeback line.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 5 December 2002 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"Brazen tavern wench" was a favorite in high school. Now if someone really pisses me off, I hiss "Jesus still loves you."

― Joe (Joe), Friday, 6 December 2002 00:35 (twenty-two years ago)

One of my friends was walking back home alone at night, and someone drove by and yelled out the window "That's why your walking alone, Ya helmet."

― A Nairn (moretap), Friday, 6 December 2002 01:10 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.