The English

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Come on then, wheel out the stereotypes.

DG, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I would never say anything to offend a bunch of pasty jug-eared chinless stomach-eating football hooligans. They'd beat me up while saying things like "Awright, mate." You do all talk like that, right? Like Madonna? She is English, isn't she?

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Listen (shh) to what the flower people say (Ahhhhhhhh)....

Joe, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Belle and Sebastian embody almost all my current English stereotypes, although technically they're not English. Oscar Wilde has the rest.

One thing I want to know. Do any of you really say "water closet"?

Lyra, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Technically?!

Ally C, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ya'all have bad teeth. Except Tom, who's lurve I'm supposed to be winning.

Ally, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The taxis are adorable and quaint. In London, anyway. Awwww.

Lyra, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, why is it that so many Brits have rotten teeth? All that tea and clotted cream?

Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You know that's not true.

DG, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Isn't becoming a taxi driver in the U.K. like taking the MCATs here in the U.S.? They have to study some ridiculous amount of information about streets, and pass a formal exam by a fellow dubbed the "Smiling Executioner" (which sounds kind of frightening right there)...

Joe, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, it's called The Knowledge. You can see les etudiants on mopeds with a map clipped to their windscreen, doing any one of 400 routes they need to memorise to qualify for the badge.

suzy, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Search: TV (really good)

Destroy: How long have you got...

dave q, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That is only black cab drivers, Suzy and Joe. Minicab drivers rely entirely on you directing them e.g. one who could not find his way from Crouch End to Muswell Hill (i.e. the next bit of London along) and seemed never to have even heard of it.

Emma, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(White) English = Bad food. Admirably godless. Hung up on old houses.

Mark Morris, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The English have evolved the strangest (and most aggravating) hybrid of all time - the 'incompetent jobsworth'. Fanatical about inventing petty rules and customs for other people, but fantastically sloppy and unable to do anything properly either. Plus everything's so small and crowded only an agoraphobic munchkin with a taste for frottage could live here. I just waited 15 minutes for a sandwich that I pre- ordered 3 hours ago.

dave q, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the english are the best in the world at being mediocre. well, we're up there anyway. allright, allright, midtable.

gareth, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As far as stereotypes go, the English can get in the queue. You've all heard of the two male lover stereotypes - the 'complete bastard' and the 'simpering idiot'. The English lover stereotype aspires to the lofty attainment of 'Simpering Bastard'.

The Mighty Trash, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hung up on old houses in era of heritage culture (peaked from about 83-95 and won't die for a while yet) but paradoxically the "grey, repressed" late 50s / early 60s were also the height of future- worshipping in England.

Have changed incredibly, and in virtually every possible way, over the last 40 years: some old prejudices and attitudes die hard, but I think we've adapted to multi-culturalism and redefined ourselves better, and quicker, than many comparable countries.

Robin Carmody, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

six years pass...

I think we've adapted to multi-culturalism and redefined ourselves better, and quicker, than many comparable countries.

to what extent is this true??

gershy, Thursday, 21 February 2008 03:39 (eighteen years ago)

the extent of own petard

El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 03:58 (eighteen years ago)

my roommate's ex-girlfriend used to have a british roommate who video-chatted with her boyfriend (who was still in the UK) every night. one spring break we all went camping up at the beach and everyone ate some pot brownies and this english chick wouldnt cause i guess she was afraid, so instead she got WASTED and spent the night crying for her boyfriend and throwing up right outside my tent while my roommate's ex comforted her.

max, Thursday, 21 February 2008 04:08 (eighteen years ago)

so, dud

max, Thursday, 21 February 2008 04:08 (eighteen years ago)

qed

Hurting 2, Thursday, 21 February 2008 04:09 (eighteen years ago)

that's queued, to you

remy bean, Thursday, 21 February 2008 04:10 (eighteen years ago)

altho on the other hand i had a bro from england when i was living in spain who i hung out with a lot and then one day like 2 years later after not talking for a long time i ran into him in the middle of san francisco and it was pretty weird and awesome

max, Thursday, 21 February 2008 04:13 (eighteen years ago)

Most Englishes I have come across in Aus have been awesome. I avoid places where Brit backpackers congregate tho, obv.

W4LTER, Thursday, 21 February 2008 04:16 (eighteen years ago)

a family friend's daughter got engaged to one of these and brought him back here. lazy, ill-mannered slob. he needed a good foot up the arse.

haitch, Thursday, 21 February 2008 04:37 (eighteen years ago)

We don't need the English.

Laurel, Thursday, 21 February 2008 04:41 (eighteen years ago)

Telling us what to be...

nickn, Thursday, 21 February 2008 06:26 (eighteen years ago)

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2007/09/12/style/tmagazine/16english1.jpg

El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 06:41 (eighteen years ago)

is that the beatles

max, Thursday, 21 February 2008 06:44 (eighteen years ago)

close

El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 06:48 (eighteen years ago)

is it parliament

max, Thursday, 21 February 2008 06:49 (eighteen years ago)

lj family portrait

remy bean, Thursday, 21 February 2008 06:55 (eighteen years ago)

(lj, ken c, dog latin, ronan)

remy bean, Thursday, 21 February 2008 06:56 (eighteen years ago)

all as english as the queen

blueski, Thursday, 21 February 2008 12:23 (eighteen years ago)

You sound like Mohammed Al Fayed

Tom D., Thursday, 21 February 2008 12:26 (eighteen years ago)

classic, because they are endless material for dave q rant-a-thons!

though strangely not on this thread

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 21 February 2008 12:29 (eighteen years ago)

There's a wee bit of a rant upthread

Tom D., Thursday, 21 February 2008 12:30 (eighteen years ago)

"I think we've adapted to multi-culturalism and redefined ourselves better, and quicker, than many comparable countries."

to what extent is this true??

-- gershy, Thursday, February 21, 2008 3:39 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

lol.

i guess we're doing better than france or, you know, serbia.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 21 February 2008 12:33 (eighteen years ago)

Serbia seems to very welcoming of American nutjobs

Tom D., Thursday, 21 February 2008 12:35 (eighteen years ago)

I think we've adapted to multi-culturalism and redefined ourselves better, and quicker, than many comparable countries.

to what extent is this true??

See the Ronaldinho bottle opener thread (i.e. it is true)

Mark C, Thursday, 21 February 2008 13:31 (eighteen years ago)

RIP dave q, heaven needed a grumpy canadian to upset genteel message boards

DG, Thursday, 21 February 2008 13:39 (eighteen years ago)

Most Englishes I have come across in Aus have been awesome. I avoid places where Brit backpackers congregate tho, obv.

-- W4LTER, Thursday, 21 February 2008 04:16 (10 hours ago) Link

This was pretty much my experience when I was there (doing astrophysics, not backpacking). All the English people I met in academia or suburban Sydney were fine, but you get the worst kind of Englander in the city bars and clubs.

The Australians and South Africans I know in Oxford say the same thing: they enjoy talking to countrymen outside of London, but if they meet one in London they're pretty much guaranteed to be a cunt.

caek, Thursday, 21 February 2008 14:47 (eighteen years ago)

I have a couple of good Australian friends in London, and they tend to avoid their countrymen in this city. They went to a Walkabout for the first time recently, and said it was a harrowing experience.

chap, Thursday, 21 February 2008 14:50 (eighteen years ago)

I've been in one of those, harrowing about covers it

Tom D., Thursday, 21 February 2008 14:51 (eighteen years ago)

I went to a Walkabout in Newquay. Not cool.

caek, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:06 (eighteen years ago)

Oh god, I've only been to the one on Upper Street, I can't imagine how awful one in Newquay must be.

chap, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:11 (eighteen years ago)

I went once to the one in Reading.

Not all that 'populated by aussies' or so it seemed.

Mark G, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:23 (eighteen years ago)

What's a Walkabout exactly? I've got an idea by context, but...

RabiesAngentleman, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:30 (eighteen years ago)

Is it anything like an Outback Steakhouse?

Laurel, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:33 (eighteen years ago)

it's a chain of australian-themed sports bars in the uk

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:37 (eighteen years ago)

It's a hellhole of a pub, generally populated by desultory hellish Aussies and/or New Zealanders and/or Sarf Ifikans

Tom D., Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:38 (eighteen years ago)

Oh nooes, the "sports bar" part is even worse. At least an Outback Steakhouse is, at the worst, a noisy place where you can get a beer and a mediocre steak. Which isn't terrible by any means.

Laurel, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:39 (eighteen years ago)

And no Australian would go near one, I imagine, except for comic relief.

Laurel, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:39 (eighteen years ago)

No Australian who isn't a twat, yes.

chap, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:41 (eighteen years ago)

and pato

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:42 (eighteen years ago)

I suppose it's useful if you want a venue in England where you can happily enjoy England losing at various sports; knowing that your fellow drinkers are probably enjoying it even more than you are

Tom D., Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:44 (eighteen years ago)

I've been to Walkabout in Bristol. I watched football and drank beer and ate ribs. Didn't see anything wrong with that tbh.

Oh wait, it's a dreaded "chain" - that'll explain why people suddenly don't like beer and ribs and football.

onimo, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:49 (eighteen years ago)

i don't like football. or loud aus/nz sports-fan dudes. i don't have a problem with chains.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:51 (eighteen years ago)

The Walkabout off Tottenham Court Road is always full of Ozzies, so was the one in Lancaster. These are the two I have most familiarity with, and would like to see nailbombed.

Dom Passantino, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:52 (eighteen years ago)

Were you there at night tho? (xxp)

Tom D., Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:52 (eighteen years ago)

Has anyone ever been in a Springbok Bar? That one street in Covent Garden that has that pretty much next to a Walkabout = worst street in London.

Matt DC, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:54 (eighteen years ago)

never heard of Springbok, but I'm guessing it's the SA equivalent of Walkabout, am I right?

chap, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:56 (eighteen years ago)

voluntary Apartheid, I say.

Mark G, Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:57 (eighteen years ago)

A Bokabout

Tom D., Thursday, 21 February 2008 15:58 (eighteen years ago)

Oh wait, it was a Springbok I went to in Newquay, not a Walkabout. The queue for the Walkabout was too long. Yeah, that was a good holiday.

caek, Thursday, 21 February 2008 16:01 (eighteen years ago)

Tom D, I was in said Walkabout with onimo and it was evening rather than the After Chucking Out Time session (although I had to do this once on a works' night out and it was as bad as you can imagine). SO and I once went in of a Sunday afternoon (may have been to try and catch a bit of a footy match before we went to the pictures?) and it was full of hen/stag parties trying to get a late breakfast as they carried on drinking through. One of them was sick on the floor, but there was no real effort by the staff to do anything about it.

Also, Bristol one has no Aussies therefore you can't even enjoy watching England lose in it. If there's a general rule, it seems to favour other sports more than football and is pretty much the only place you can consistently watch rugby league.

aldo, Thursday, 21 February 2008 16:02 (eighteen years ago)

"I think we've adapted to multi-culturalism and redefined ourselves better, and quicker, than many comparable countries."

to what extent is this true??

-- gershy, Thursday, February 21, 2008 3:39 AM (12 hours ago) Bookmark Link

lol.

i guess we're doing better than australia or, you know, south africa.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 21 February 2008 16:04 (eighteen years ago)

every walkabout i've been to felt like an unloved train station pub -- if that's where you want to eat ribs, be my guest

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 21 February 2008 16:05 (eighteen years ago)

walkabout is where fairground dj's work in the off-season.

"Screeeeeeeeeam if you wanna go faster. Cobber."

Upt0eleven, Thursday, 21 February 2008 16:16 (eighteen years ago)

This thread has transformed into The English belittling members of their former colonies, and I think I had a hand in that. Heh.

chap, Thursday, 21 February 2008 16:22 (eighteen years ago)

Northampton has Bar Serengeti, which is where all the Nigerian and Ghanaians drink. Someone should franchise that.

Dom Passantino, Thursday, 21 February 2008 16:23 (eighteen years ago)

i never did get round to going to the 'zulu bar' in leytonstone

DG, Thursday, 21 February 2008 17:44 (eighteen years ago)

"I think we've adapted to multi-culturalism and redefined ourselves better, and quicker, than many comparable countries."

There's been a sizeable dark-skinned population of immigrants in the UK since when, the 40's, 50's?

Michael White, Thursday, 21 February 2008 17:54 (eighteen years ago)

Pretty much: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empire_Windrush

caek, Thursday, 21 February 2008 17:57 (eighteen years ago)

yeah, the 50s.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 21 February 2008 17:59 (eighteen years ago)

not sure if michael white is saying woah that's a long time, or a short one?

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 21 February 2008 18:00 (eighteen years ago)

There's been a notable black prescence in Britain going all the way back to the 16th or 17th Century, I believe. But the 50s was when the black/asian population exploded.

chap, Thursday, 21 February 2008 18:01 (eighteen years ago)

That's Asian in the British sense, not the American one

Tom D., Thursday, 21 February 2008 18:02 (eighteen years ago)

There's been a notable black prescence in Britain going all the way back to the 16th or 17th Century, I believe. But the 50s was when the black/asian population exploded.

-- chap, Thursday, February 21, 2008 6:01 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

yeah, a very, very localized one, in the pre-democratic, pre-transport, pre-literacy era, so notable in a peculiar sense -- notable now more than then, i'd guess. also there were 'notable' chinese communities in the east end before the 50s; and obv the jewish population after the pogroms was regarded as 'other' also.

40s-70s immigration was bigger than these and less localized.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 21 February 2008 18:14 (eighteen years ago)

are you all still wearing boat-like shoes of wood, and going to the bathroom in the middle of those tall rocks?

El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 18:18 (eighteen years ago)

That's only for Ned Raggett's benefit

Tom D., Thursday, 21 February 2008 18:19 (eighteen years ago)

Don't listen to these guys, USAers. Britain is exactly like "Four Weddings and a Funeral" Now come and spend some of that tourist cash, plz.

Bodrick III, Thursday, 21 February 2008 21:48 (eighteen years ago)

four years pass...

Taking off yer tops and hitting each other.

Here's that tenner I owe you, asshole (dog latin), Tuesday, 21 August 2012 08:55 (thirteen years ago)

seven years pass...

Because this thing is going to be here for months (and a vaccine is 18 months away) so they figured that if they start too soon people will just go "fuck this" and start spreading it again at the worst possible time.

From the outbreak thread - this is both amazing and feels completely true.

Also calzino's post over there did make me wonder if the refusal to have mixed hot and cold taps might be what finally does for this once-great race.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 12 March 2020 10:19 (six years ago)


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