Sending Christmas cards to the parents' house of people you used to know but don't have a current address for: pleasant friendly gesture or creepy and intrusive way to point out your own sad and path

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Well, uh, yeah. I bought a box of cards and now I don't know whether I dare send them because it'll look kind of weird sending them to an old address and quite probably all these people are glad not to have to think of me any more rather than have my faux-cheery tat forced upon them on their holidays.

Please post your thoughts, and if possible let me know whether the answer would be shoved irrevocably into the "creepy and laughably attention-seeking" pigeonhole if I put my address (the same address that they'd have for me anyway; I am ashamed of this, but I suppose I want to get back in touch or I wouldn't be writing, but then I'd never write back if they replied anyway) on the cards or -- less showy but it removes any pleasant surprise of opening the card, they turn it over to open it and BAM -- on the envelope in standard return-address type way.

It might be relevant to point out that as far as I know, which may not be far enough, all the intended recipients get on reasonably well with their parents and so could probably be expected to visit them over Christmas.

(I know I've been really annoying on here of late -- it's been pissing me off a LOT so it must have been pretty horrible for everyone else, I'm sorry -- but I would be grateful for answers. Hopefully in the new year I'll manage to sort my life out or at least just stop pestering people on here so much. Oh my, category = etiquette or whine? Sorry, and thanks.)

― Rebecca (reb), Thursday, 5 December 2002 05:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i dont think its creepy or any other bad thing. i have received cards in this way and been pleasantly surprised to hear from the people who sent them.
i would put your return address on the envelope as per usual.
if you never hear from them dont worry about it, i have a letter i wrote in return to someone who sent me a card last year,( via my parents ), still to be posted because im a hopeless poster of letters. guess i had better update it then hey?
its pretty normal-sounding to me rebecca, and i dont find you annoying. so merry christmas!
:-)

― donna (donna), Thursday, 5 December 2002 05:21 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not really so weird at all, I mean I personally would be pleased by it 9 times out of 10.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 5 December 2002 05:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Sure, why the hell not? Lots of people send Xmas cards to people they don't communicate with at any other time in the year. (Birthday cards, on the other hand, would be intrusively attention-seeking.) Yeah, just put your address on the envelope in the ordinary way. Maybe write their addresses like this: [their name] c/o [parents' address]. Send them quick and you might get some politeness-guilt-trip cards in return if nothing else!

― Poppy (poppy), Thursday, 5 December 2002 05:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Nothing wrong with this at all Rebecca - I've done it loads of times. Often people move around a lot and it's difficult to keep up with where they are (if you are as bad at keeping in touch as I am), so their parents' address is the only constant you have.

I've received letters/cards this way too, and have always been delighted about it.

Go for it - it's only a Christmas card, after all! Everyone likes receiving seasonal cheer!

― C J (C J), Thursday, 5 December 2002 06:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I do this, so I'm along with you whatever the final verdict.

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 5 December 2002 06:45 (twenty-two years ago)

It's creepy and it's wrong.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 December 2002 08:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Phew! N. the voice of sanity as ever.

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 5 December 2002 09:53 (twenty-two years ago)

The sending of all Christmas cards is creepy and wrong. As is the ssnding of all items through the post. If you doubt me, just imagine the sender hunched over the envelope inscribing your name and address, licking the seal and carefully taking it to the post box (or worse still, having it weighed at the post office).

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 December 2002 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

N. into turning into Howard Hughes shockah!

(Build that Spruce Goose now!)

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 5 December 2002 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I think it's a good idea. You don't know what my happen - maybe some of them are in the same position as you are and miss you? Or maybe they're not but they still might be interested in catching up. I think if you are goign to catch up with them ever, this is the best excuse there is. As long as you don't put anything stupid (don't take advice from me here).

I don't even have the parent's addresses of half the people I want to get in touch with, though I do know a couple. Hmmm.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 5 December 2002 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Cheers for all yr answers. I was all set to do it when I realised I couldn't find my address book from two years ago anyway. Duh. Oh well. I'm actually kind of relieved to have an extra excuse not to, but I feel eeeevil for thinking that too.

(I really am that untidy, I've just been rummaging through stuff like sandwich toasters - ew! - and masses of stationery and old magazines which haven't been unpacked since then.)

― Rebecca (reb), Friday, 6 December 2002 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

No creepier than google-ing someone...

*whistles... backs away...*

― jm, Friday, 6 December 2002 04:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I apologise to everyone I've sent a card for using that stupid coloured pencil? It's really difficult to write with and get a decent effect, but it cost me a whole £1.99 so by Christ am I going to use it.

(They have arrived, haven't they?)

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 12 December 2002 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

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