What to hear a joke?

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A woman coming out of another bad relationship decides to put an advertisement in the paper for a new partner. She remembers how abusive her last boyfriend was, how great he was in bed, and how he'd run out on her, so she writes the ad thus:

"Attractive woman seeking man. No abusers. No one night stands. Must be able to satisfy me in bed."

A day later her door bell rings and there is a man in a wheelchair at her door who has neither arms nor legs.

"I'm here in response to your ad in the paper, " he says.

She tells him, "I don't think you're quite what I was looking for."

"Listen lady, " says he, "I don't have any arms so I'm not going to hit you. I don't have any legs so I'm not going to run out on you."

"True," she says, "but how are you going to satisfy me in bed?"

"I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

― Gregory Di prinzio (diprinzio), Thursday, 5 December 2002 18:41 (twenty-three years ago)

My head hurts.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't get it.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:22 (twenty-three years ago)

He used his penis to ring the doorbell. (Much like I use my penis to type.)

...What?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:25 (twenty-three years ago)

There's an obvious joke in there Dan, but I'm not going to touch it. Or your keyboard, for that matter.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I was assuming that he rang the doorbell with his tongue.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

EW. There's no way I'm tonguing my keyboard!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:42 (twenty-three years ago)

haha i like it.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:42 (twenty-three years ago)

EW. There's no way I'm tonguing my keyboard!

Especially not after your penis has been on it.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:43 (twenty-three years ago)

HAHA, cuz mutant freak long shlongs are more satisfying, obviously!

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Come on DB, which is more satisfying; a regular hot dog or a FOOT-LONG KIELBASA?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:55 (twenty-three years ago)

TS: 45s vs. 12"

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 5 December 2002 19:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Come on DB, which is more satisfying; a regular hot dog or a FOOT-LONG KIELBASA?
I think the kielbasa would be worse for your keyboard because of the grease...you'd also end up hitting more than one key at a time which would make your typing suffer.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 5 December 2002 20:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The best way to solve that problem = PRECISIOBHN.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 December 2002 20:09 (twenty-three years ago)

HAHA DAN TYPES LIKE A DICK

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 5 December 2002 20:38 (twenty-three years ago)

(About time, Sean.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 December 2002 20:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh Christ I almost Googled 'PRECISIOBHN'.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 5 December 2002 20:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not touching YOUR keyboard either, mark.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 5 December 2002 20:51 (twenty-three years ago)

You shouldn't. I'm dead sick.

PS. Sean, I want to sell my iBook. I hate Apple.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 5 December 2002 20:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Uh oh, why? Are you having specific problems with it? Tell all.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 5 December 2002 20:55 (twenty-three years ago)

It's S-L-O-W.

I can't get around it.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 5 December 2002 21:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Hm, probably no chance of returning or exchanging it now, huh? Did you go to CSC at Spadina/College?

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 5 December 2002 21:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I went to Carbon. They want to ding me $370 to restock.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 5 December 2002 21:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Tongue or dick the prospect seems promising for the woman.

― Gregory Di prinzio (diprinzio), Friday, 6 December 2002 02:04 (twenty-three years ago)

i like gregs "final thought"

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Friday, 6 December 2002 02:39 (twenty-three years ago)

DB---it's a joke---not the Hite Report.

― Gregory Di prinzio (diprinzio), Friday, 6 December 2002 17:01 (twenty-three years ago)

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