ILE Porn Film

I know so little about women.

Rock.

Bottom.

Should I start drawing up the paperwork, registering domains, etc? We could make a killing in Avril fakes.

Last Spring my wife and I were on vacation at a really fancy hotel on Mauritius. Said hotel had three restaurants, and folks who were on half-pension could go to the really fancy a la carte restaurant for a little extra. So one evening we did, and while we were eating our appetizers, two couples walked in. The first couple was a short muscly young man and his companion, who had wet hair, nothing on underneath her translucent dress but a g-string, and who was WORKING IT as she walked in (which is to say walking in a manner generally displayed on catwalks at your better strip clubs); they were followed by the second couple, a troll-like man holding a rather fancy video camera and filming the first couple, and a rather attractive forty-ish woman who smiled at the waiters' quizzical looks and snapped a few still photos of the younger couple.

They sat at the table next to us, and my wife and I began to notice more weirdness: the two couples would act quite affectionate and friendly to each other while the wait staff was around, but as soon as no waiter was looking, hands were no longer held and the conversation would die. The young woman clearly spoke no English, the young man barely any. The older couple were English, although the troll spoke Italian to the younger couple. Neither couple appeared to be a couple at all.

My wife and I began to speculate on what the story was. "Maybe they're filming a porno," I said, haha. And then as the evening and the dinner went on, the two couples began to do have a genuine conversation, of which we could only hear snippits: "...it only gets easier...", "...plenty of amateur work...", "...at my age, it's either specialty work or you move behind the camera". Eek.

A birthday cake arrived, the two cameras got to work as "Happy Birthday" was sung (and the young woman clearly did not know the young man's name, so the troll sang "dear DAVID" with extra emphasis). The young guy then said, too loudly, "I take picture of you!" to which the older couple who enthusiastically agreed and then chastely kissed while the younger couple awkwardly photographed them; then the troll said, "OK, it's your turn", the younger couple proceeded to play a rather intense game of tonsil hockey, with whispered instructions from the video-ing troll and more still pictures from the attractive woman. Shortly thereafter, they left. As we left, a few minutes later, we both agreed that we had watched the filming of the foreplay scene in a porno (this was confirmed a few days later when we found out that the porno crew had been kicked out of the hotel for making adult movies without permission). Then, simultaneously, we realized that the camera filming the kissing couple had been pointing at us the whole damn time.

So, I've apparantly been an unpaid extra in a porno. TOP THAT!

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