Joe Millionaire: Brilliant or Sadistic?

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The newest "marry a sugar daddy" reality show (cough) from the fine folks at Fox WITH A TWIST - supposedly, this charming, chiseled bohunk of a man is worth $50 million, when he actually only makes $19,000 a year! Essentially, what we have is about 10-15 hours of programming featuring 20+ women chasing after a stud who's actual net worth is .38% percent of the amount they're lead to believe. And, of course, we're supposed to find out if true love wins over true market value.

I'm not sure if this is network TV's ultimate nadir, a brilliant inversion of the usual TV match-making shenanigans offering Real Truths and various social epiphanies amidsts all the subterfuge.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 15:54 (twenty-three years ago)

it's all these things and more and less.

― michael wells (michael w.), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 15:55 (twenty-three years ago)

There's supposed to be an OR in that last sentence o' mine instead of the commas, BTW - my love of polysyllabic wankery won out over my tenuous alleigance to proper grammar.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 15:59 (twenty-three years ago)

you can't base a relationship on lies, obv.

I will be watching this. I think it's from the creators of 'Temptation Island.'

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 15:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Hopefully one of the girls will get so pissed off when she finds out, she'll murder him on live tv.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 16:04 (twenty-three years ago)

There's supposed to be an OR in that last sentence o' mine instead of the commas, BTW - my love of polysyllabic wankery won out over my tenuous alleigance to proper grammar.

your mighty wordplay also won out over my ability to understand stuff.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 16:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Have they already started this then?

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 16:08 (twenty-three years ago)

One step closer to "Who wants to marry a secret transexual..." that would probably be the best way for Fox to exploit people on national television.

Of course, Rupert's already working on "Who wants to be President of the United States of America.."

― cprek, Tuesday, 17 December 2002 16:24 (twenty-three years ago)

"Who wants to eat Joe Rogans Penis"

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 16:34 (twenty-three years ago)

A: Joe Rogan.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 16:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, I forgot, our joke when we heard about Joe Millionaire is that he will tell the winning girl that he's not a millionaire and then she will tell him that she's a man. Haw haw.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 17:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Who Wants to Marry a Shaved Gorilla Wearing Sunglasses

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 17:57 (twenty-three years ago)

A: Joe Rogan, only if he can eat the gorillas penis afterwards.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 17:59 (twenty-three years ago)

All 'reality' programming should climax in the cast of characters gagging down the cooked genitalia of gigantic animals.

Next week on "Temptation Island 2", Theresa and Jeff go through troubles, and Amelia eats a broiled moose wang.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 19:08 (twenty-three years ago)

my teeny weeny finger bleeds.

― Gordon (Gordon), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 19:10 (twenty-three years ago)

And on the Real World:

Alton confesses to old man at bar that he misses ex-girlfriend. "Hey bartender another round of Lion cock for me and my friend here!"

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 19:12 (twenty-three years ago)

They had to drink bull penis smoothies on Road Rules this year!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 19:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Trichelle would probably be all over the bull penis.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 17 December 2002 19:21 (twenty-three years ago)

They had to drink bull penis smoothies on Road Rules this year!
So how do they get it ummm smooth?? Must be an industrial Strength blender...

― brg30 (brg30), Wednesday, 18 December 2002 01:10 (twenty-three years ago)

They were more like "chunkies" than "smoothies".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 18 December 2002 13:21 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...

Holy crap. That was one of the most compelling hours of TV I've seen in a long while. It was so disturbing and made me cringe.... and I just can't wait till they make the girls do all sorts of challenges where they get super catty. Unbelievable! Thank you Fox for making such entertainment.

― Aaron W, Tuesday, 7 January 2003 05:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Saw a couple of ads for it and just cringed. Though some of what's in this thread is making me cringe even more.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 05:59 (twenty-three years ago)

What? No one actually watched it? Oh I forgot that ILXers sniff their noses at this sort of thing... or maybe no one else wants to admit it!

― Aaron W, Tuesday, 7 January 2003 14:17 (twenty-three years ago)

The commercials cracked me up. I watched about fifteen minutes and then wandered away during a commercial and forgot to go back. My brother's convinced that the women are all actresses and knew about it beforehand, but it's more entertaining to think they're not so that's what I think. I like the house a lot. (I wish they'd picked a prettier, more androgynous waif of a construction worker, though.)

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 15:54 (twenty-three years ago)

My sister said they all looked like crack whores/"Bachelor rejects", but the girls in the commercial didn't seem that bad...

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 15:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Ten times cooler if the Bachelor ripped off his mask on the final episode not only revealing himself as a construction worker but a beer swillin, mullet wearin, no tooth piece of trash.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 15:58 (twenty-three years ago)

He was trash anyway! Not that I watched it, but when he was on one of those morning shows he seemed like a big dumb oily ex-fratboy lunkhead.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 16:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh yeah it's amazing... he's a total doofus but kind of endearing too. They side-step the whole "this is just wrong" thing by claiming to try to find the girl that "really likes him for him not just the money," which is just hysterical. And yeah, the girls are spectacular as well (especially when they interact with him). It's like Samuel Beckett died and came back to earth to write scripts for Fox.

The red head is my early favorite (I liked that she called the whole dress trying-on cat fight "horse shit"). "Mojo" and Heidi are clearly the evil bitches who I'm sure will make it far and made to look like evil bitches in the end.

― Aaron W, Tuesday, 7 January 2003 16:19 (twenty-three years ago)

I was talking about The Bachelor in my last rant...the Joe Millionaire guy is much better looking than The Bachelor, but I have yet to hear him speak. But that last Bachelor just gave off an evil date-rapist frat vibe.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 16:21 (twenty-three years ago)

it doesn't much seem that personality/true intelligence matters on these shows, from the little i've seen of the bachelor.

this does sound rather amusing...i'm a bit disappointed i missed it last night.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 16:22 (twenty-three years ago)

they should have called this show "Gold-Digger Jesus"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 16:27 (twenty-three years ago)

the smoking gun sight has pictures of him in tight spandex.

― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 16:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Haha Tracer that'd be great.

I was upset about how the girls were dressed when they went into the house. If you go into a beautiful house with a butler, you wear decent clothes (preferably long flowing skirts but I shouldn't be so picky), not hip-huggers and a halter top! Modern fashion sucks.

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 16:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh I know Maria! Their outfits were unbelievable (all 20 of them!!).

― Aaron W, Tuesday, 7 January 2003 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

So what happens if they pull a "double-swerve" on us? Say, on the final episode after he reveals he is a $19000 a yr construction worker the girl slaps him in the face and runs off. Joe Millionaire then turns to the camera and actually reveals that he is in fact a millionaire! His name is Evan Marriott you know. He goes by his middle name, Evan Wallace. Marriott of the Marriott Hotel chain...hmmm. Conspiracy????

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 16:48 (twenty-three years ago)

No millionaire would have that haircut.

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 17:49 (twenty-three years ago)

I watched it. I don't know where they found these women who can't pick up on basic class cues. They would all have to be middle-middle or lower-middle-class and not have moved around a lot to not notice that something is a little bit off. I don't think he'll turn out to be a mega-millionaire - the way he talks gives him away.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 17:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi, I make $19000 a yr. http://i.realitytvworld.com/images/joemillionaire/joe/jm2_mini.jpg

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 17:51 (twenty-three years ago)

the way he talks gives him away

Well, I can't do a direct comparison, but I have to say: you might or might not be surprised at how the rich types around here in Irvine and Newport can talk. But is the premise that he was born into wealth or is a self-made man?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 17:59 (twenty-three years ago)

His last names Marriott....he was born into it.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 18:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The pretense is that he got a phone call one day and learned that he inherited $50 million.

Aren't the Marriotts Mormons?

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 18:11 (twenty-three years ago)

i watched it last night, and all i can say is, there is no way some of those women were 24 and 25. did you LOOK AT THEIR SKIN? some company that manufactures moisturizers should snap up ad time on the remaining six episodes ASAP -- looking at some of those ladies' complexions is more than enough inspiration to stock up.

― maura (maura), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 20:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Aren't the Marriotts Mormons?

The first generation or two, yes.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 20:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't understand how eliminating the contestants until one is left will find out that that one loves him, and not just the money.

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 21:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Maura, I was thinking the same thing - those women have more wrinkles than I do and some of them are (allegedly) ten years younger. They must tan too much or something.

He's tall, handsome and has $50 million and he has to go on tv to find a wife? (Actually, I think he looks too much like a romance novel cover man, but some women like that kind of thing). These must be the twenty dumbest women in America...unless some of them are just doing it to get some cash and a free trip to a French castle.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 22:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I honestly think there are tons of people who would do anything just to be on television for a few minutes and impress their friends at home in Jerkwater, Ohio.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 23:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Or look down their nose snobbishly at the losers in Rat's Ass, Missouri.

You know, if they combined this show with Iron Chef or something, then we might be talking. Imagine Kaga hosting this thing with his usual aplomb.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 01:30 (twenty-three years ago)

He's a rather non-threatening kind of guy, aside from his bulk and necklessness. Not particularly funny or suave, but not the least bit aggressive and a terrible liar.

Dammit, I'm hooked.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 02:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually, I think he looks too much like a romance novel cover man, but some women like that kind of thing

Yes, he is indeed quite Fabioesque

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 02:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd like to see him have a nervous breakdown in front of all the contestants.

Think they should work this sort of thing into the next "Mole"?

― Curtis Stephens, Wednesday, 8 January 2003 02:55 (twenty-three years ago)

vince neil and emmanuel lewis going out to pick up chicks should be priceless.

― keith (keithmcl), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I think this needs to be added to this thread...

http://thesmokinggun.com/archive/art2/marriott1.jpg

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 9 January 2003 15:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Eurgh, no it didn't...

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 9 January 2003 15:53 (twenty-three years ago)

ARGH!

(scraping at eyeballs)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 9 January 2003 16:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Paper or plastic takes on a whole new meaning.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 January 2003 16:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry. It had to be done!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 9 January 2003 16:10 (twenty-three years ago)

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