What happens at the end of the new Planet Of The Apes?

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Against my better judgement, I went to see this tonight (I would have preferred to see 'Help! I'm A Fish!'), but the damn fool in the projection room couldn't work the equipment properly, so the screening was abandoned near the end. We got up to the bit where they find the crashed big spaceship, and all the wild humans come from all over the place to see Marky Mark...and then the film stopped. So please, what happens next?

― DG, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm not paying to see it again, so that's why I'm asking.

― DG, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Here's what I have heard -- having no desire to see it in the first place:

Marky Mark escapes back to Earth and crash lands -- rather improbably -- in Washington DC, right in front of the Lincoln Memorial! Oh hurrah! He emerges, ready to reactivate his hip-hop career -- but no! The statue of Abraham Lincoln in fact is of an APE-MAN in Lincoln's clothes! HA HA HA! Then the police show up and they're apes and things happen.

If this is in fact the real ending, Tim Burton should be ashamed.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

He should be ashamed anyway, it was rubbish, but I still want to know what happens at the end. Someone out there must have seen it surely? (Thanks anyway Ned, I know it's something to do with Abraham Lincoln)

― DG, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A bad pun. Ape Lincoln. Brutal.

― Kim, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dear god, does it actually *say* Ape Lincoln carved on a monument or something? That deserves death.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

if it does, it's the funniest thing in a tim burton movie since 1994.

― ethan, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dear God, I actually PAID money to see this piece of shit movie. And I went BY MYSELF. BY CHOICE. Stupid move.

Yes, that ending is true (though it's not APE Lincoln - if only). Yes, Estella Warren pouts throughout the whole movie. No, she doesn't have many lines. Yes, she looks pretty damn good in those pseudo-Tarzan togs. Yes, Mark Wahlberg should stick to ensemble casts directed by skilled auteurs working with a GOOD SCRIPT. Yes, there are probably 95 science-related plot holes scattered throughout the script. Yes, Tim Roth's effort is wasted. Yes, they reference the old movie series in heavy-handed fashion. No, Charlton Heston doesn't get to read from Madonna's _Sex_. Yes, I was rooting for the apes to kick the crap out of the filthy humans. And, yes, Marky gets more face time with Helena Bonham Carter than the aforementioned Ms. Warren.

The BEST parts of the movie were the previews for _From Hell_ & _Zoolander_. Bring on the good films, god damn it.

― David Raposa, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't think it actually SAYS Ape Lincoln on the monument, but the pun is about as subtle as Britney's cleavage in that acid wash denim thingie at the teen choice awards the other night.

― Kim, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

From Hell should be bad-ass, oh yes.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"I like my vagina"

Still the funniest thing ever on SNL.

― Ally, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, I'm sorry. Funnies SNL moment = Will Ferrell as Neil Diamond.

"No, I will leave you IN!"

― David Raposa, Wednesday, 22 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It sucked, really. But 1 cool thing about it was that the cute female apes looked a lot like recent pictures of Michael Jackson.

― duane, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A friend I went to see it with claims Helena BC can be seen in the Ape Lincoln (surely everyone thought of this?) crowd bit at the end.

DG, you also missed the bit where the fighting is interrupted by the first (chimp piloted) pod belatedly landing. The apes think he's Simos and get excited then somehow all the good apes realise that Tim Roth et al. are wicked and apes and humans should all just get along.

Marky Mark uses this pod to escape back through the electo-magnetic storm nonsense. Just to reiterate that this is one of the crappiest films ever made and I really wouldn't bother going to see it.

― Nick, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

anyone read the original books? worth reading? must admit wasn't too impressed with first film, and have no desire to see the new one

― m jemmeson, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I know it's a dud, that's why I'm neither a)paying to see it again or b)using my free ticket (given as compensation) to see it again. Tim Burton = MONSTROUS FUCKING DUD. I hate every single one of his films.

― DG, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tim Burton is great, what are you talking about?

― Ally, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No he's not, he's RUBBISH. He strikes me as being a dickheaded 80s Cure fan let loose with a camera. Have you SEEN Sleepy Hollow?

― DG, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, it was fantastic, one of the best movies ever made that has Christina Ricci in it.

― Ally, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Disagree strongly w/m jemmeson abt original apes movie, which apart from anything else has one of the all-time GRATE S/Ts. First three sequels all good too. Agree w/DB abt Burton tho' - apart, that is, from urgent and key exception of ED WOOD, which is pretty flawless, I wld say. Great script (benign fantasy rather than strict autobiog, but what the hell), inspired casting, v. tasteful 'mise en scene', terrific music, one of the best credit sequences I've ever seen etc. etc.

― Andrew L, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Agree w/orig. PoA film being great, but sequels largely suX0r. Tim Burton is not uniformly rubbish: Beetlejuice was a grate laff, Batman the first and second also being enjoyable enough.

― RickyT, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sleep y Hollow was very good.

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Favorite Tim Burton moment: opening credits, titles on black background, finally the title of the movie comes up and it's in WEENSY festive lettering almost so small as to be unreadable on my 10" screen—

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But Planet of the Apes made no sense. Forward in time? Backward? Ahhhh... fuck it.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And as for Burton -- yes, Ed Wood is actually probably my favorite film from the 1990s, certainly the one I've seen the most over and again. I also have time for the two Batman films he did, Sleepy Hollow and Pee Wee's Big Adventure. I still haven't seen Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands or Mars Attacks, though.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Planet of Apes is to Tim Burton what Dune was to David Lynch.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh yeah, if my equation is correct and precedent follows, hopefully Mr. Burton's next film will be a masterpiece.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Of course it will be. It'll have Johnny Depp in it.

― Ally, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tim Roth : Ape Lincoln :: Sting : Dune?

― Benjamin, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Books plural? there's more than 1? I guess novelisations of the movies. I read the original bk, it's by some French guy, it's good.

― duane, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ye GADS! Tim Roth sucks it in through the outdoor as well?

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

He's rubbish in POTA, he just shouts a lot.

― DG, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh yeah, the original film was pretty good, thinking about it. i think the ending pissed me off, with the super-unrealistic Statue of Liberty. the one i want to see tho' is one with the underground base and the creepy soundtrack. is that 'Beneath the Planet...'?

― m jemmeson, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I just saw this film a few hours ago. it was a nice piece of escapism, a truly touching tale of a mans love for his monkey. The plot was a little thin. HB-C was one cute ape!

It made me kinda sad, because it made me think about human endeavour and how in real life no man would love his monkey that much. So as I walked home I was filled with a great sense of sadness because joy is fleeting and purpose illusionary. Damn, that Tim Burton must be a good director to evoke such emotion!

― jel, Saturday, 25 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hmm...if it hadn't been for the projection failure and being given a free ticket, the only emotion POTA would have evoked in me woz the feeling I've just pissed a load of money away on a POOR POOR film.

― DG, Saturday, 25 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why do my friends insist on dragging me to bad movies? One good thing about Planet of the Apes: it wasn't Swordfish. Otherwise- a dopey, dopey film. A badly drawn sketch of a movie. Not even unintentionally funny. My friend received an SMS during the film and instead of shushing him, I leaned over to read it. Too clumsy a film to hate. The movie's penetrating moral message: If your pets start speaking in conversational English, you should probably be a little nicer to them.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two weeks pass...

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HB-C was one cute ape!

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Very true. An ape with a posh accent is somehow rather sexy and cute. The film itself is just nice entertainment. It didn't bore me and I wasn't expecting a masterpiece. Didn't like the ending though.

― Omar, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tim Burton rocks. Obviously all you people who are slamming "Sleepy Hollow" don't know a good decapitation scene when you see one. Or eight.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

nine years pass...

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40980000/jpg/_40980221_carter_203pa.jpg

never forget

― DJP, Tuesday, 9 November 2010 17:16 (fifteen years ago)

i watched this the other night

i have no idea why

― HOOS tremendo...steen ridically (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 9 November 2010 18:10 (fifteen years ago)

was it maybe one of the nights you posted to the 'hi here' thread y/n

― cant believe you sb'd me for that (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 November 2010 19:03 (fifteen years ago)

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