Is anybody secretly charmed by doompatrol?

Who is Mike Hanle y ?

So please stop talking about me? I really can't be arsed anymore. I've got some things on the go and am no longer bored out of my tree at a dead-end job.

And people have said I am charming. Internet/Real Life = Difference.

For the record Gareth and Nicole, it was me, moi, he did the parodies of you on the summarize me thread. That was good fun! Best laugh on here yet!

HAHAHAHA...HAHAHAHAHAHAH...HAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHA....

Please be friends with me. It's very lonely on the internet and I am very desperate. Please.....please.....go on...you know you want to...go on...go on...

I will cat sit for you! I will read through all of your journals when you are not home and *not* photocopy the bad poetry and put them on bulletin boards. I will cry when you tell me sad stories.

PLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

So very desperate.

Noooooo!!!!

Of course you can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will tell her that leopard skin is a fantastic print for her!!!!!!!

I will not complain about how onerous the job will be...because I am so lonely for friendship!!! Please!!!! Help me!!!!

I *get* it....this is a 'no doompatrol' club.

*holding back the tears*

No....

That's o.k...

*looking back quickly with my tear stained face to see if anyone cares*

*runnign away, arms flailing with emotion*

But I don't know about diffusing the 'You've changed Ally' conversation with your roommate...

But I could place a discreet call to security and have her taken away and maybe have her placed in Bellwood.

I could light your cigarettes for you!!!

hahahahah....

I have sold my soul and body to be enslaved by an italian diva....

Yes....I will.....

*tear stained face*

All I wanted was a litle bit of fame.....and now this!

I feel like I'm the assistant to Naomi Campbell..../

Hahhaha...

*unfghffh*

*unnfffhh*

I'm sorry...

*weeping on the floor*

I'm so sorry...

Ally: Truth or Dare.

I would get the dreaded call into the make up room for the beating...people outside the door would hear:

I'm sorry Ally...

And you would make valid points about me hanging your clothes on "wire" hangars and "wooden" hangers...

People would stand up for me, but i would just say:

"Shut up...you don't understand the pressure she is under....to be smart, attractive, beautiful and a talented manic fan drains your soul...I gladly take any beatings from Ally...

*walking crippled into the bedroom to apply ointment onto my wounds*

Nothing, except people get annoyed because it's a really lame thing to do. Also, DG can see that the IP address looks suspicious.

You tell them!!!!

Girlfriend is *not* to be messed with!!!!!!

(Ally you need a street name like J. Lo....how about A. loe or L.E.)

L.E. is kicking ass *and* taking names...

Whatever anyway. Make sure U tell us all when yer novel gets published. kiss kiss

And don't touch my wigs. Remember what happened last time.

Sure thing, Ms. Ally.

No....No....it wasnt me....

Don't hit me with the wig...

*unnffhhh*

*unnfffhhhh*

*weakly*

You'll be late....I'll clean up.....

*sobbing because I had upset Ms. Ally*

And Norman please do not bring up my novel, Ms. Ally gets upset, as she thinks it's the unauthorized biography...

L.E. Classic or Dud? The impassioned story of one man's journey into Personal Assistance to the Superstars...

Aktually, I'm kurious. Are you really a semi-random text generator, coded by a l33t hax0r, and using ILE/ILM as source code? SHOW US SOME EVIDENCE THAT U AKTUALLY XZIST!!!!!!

x0x0

I cried once to an episode of Micheal Landon's "Highway to Heaven" when the "large" girl tried to fit in with a sorority house and they invited her to the party. She had to get a swimsuit because it was going to be a pool party.

But it wasnt.

It was not to be.

It was set up for humilation purposes. Oh, say of me what you will, but I cried. And I cried.

And then I realized that it was just a television show. Bucked up and got some coffee.

Very traumatic.

kiss kiss

*in hollywood lights*

*singing the theme to Alice*

kiss kiss

(yer right....advance buzz on book, v. odd, v. strange but funny and surreal and sad like me life and I have three months to put the finishing touches on it)>.....

If you scroll down a bit or do some searching in the uncategorized threads, you'll see Marcello talking about Laura after the final test results came in for her. You'll see more in the way of despair, of heartfelt emotion, of *real* sadness than you'll ever encounter, understand and know. And maybe, just maybe, you'll realize that he posted it here because he considered us -- at least some of us, if not all -- his friends, someone he could tell some of the most horrifying, unsettling news to, a place where he could at least vent and give *some* sort of slight voice to a pain I can't conceive of and I hope to heck I never ever have to go through. And all this on a board which has, yes, sick jokes and crazy rudeness and more, a board of personalities if you like. It's a human experience that justifies itself and doesn't need any smug, self-satisfied 'provocateur' to create it or explain it to anyone else.

Your goddamn role playing is so frustatingly small and odious in comparison to that one simple post of Marcello's, your whimpering of your fake put-on pain to make yourself seem special, your endless whining about being the whipping boy and then being the manipulator. If something on the level of what the hell is happening to Marcello happened to you, how much fucking sympathy do you think *you* would earn, do you think *you* deserve. Not goddamn much, I'll tell you that, not from here. I might not deserve any either if I found myself in that bind, but I know there are people who would honestly care -- for all my missteps and bad puns and foot-in-mouth moments, for all the bad sides of my personality, I'm lucky to at least know that much. And who the fuck would care for you?

Get out. If you have any sense of decency in your parched, blighted empty zone of a soul, get the fuck out of these boards for the final goddamn time and don't come back. Don't start threads about yourself to get yourself talked about if that's the only way your ego can thrive, I think we're all tired of that game. Publish your damn novel and get famous for all I care, have a perfectly idiotic character in it who is nothing but a pseudo-rebellious smartass who works in a library and see what the fuck I even slightly care about it. I think it's all too clear what type of person you are, and nobody needs to even slightly fictionalize it. And if all you can do is respond to this with either your 'playful' irony or more of your wheedling attempt at showing pity, then frankly I'm not surprised at all. Either way, GET THE FUCK OUT.

xoxo

I'm sorry, L.E., I'm sorry..

(Ps. To ned, I never give out personal information about myself on line, I prefer my real life friends to help me out. As for Marcello, it is sad, very sad, but I do not know him and refuse to comment so any comparisons are less than useless)

Hardly. Everyone has experienced sadness and tragedy. Life is sadness, at times, and at time hopeful. Am I too comment on Marcello's tradegy? Would he enjoy that? Would he want me to discuss in detail his wife? Would you want to know how many relatives and family that I lost to cancer? Would my words be of any hope to him?

It is hardly apt.

I do not know Marcello, even in passing. I was trading tapes with one fellow on-line when his father was dying of cancer. He wrote to me and I wrote to him back. He later expressed thanks because he was able to focus on my emails to him to help him when he was not in the hospital.

What would Marcello think if I started emailing him, Ned? I would rather prefer honest sentiment than empty sentiment which is the universal sadness anyone feels when anyone's loved one dies.

This is perfectly valid. I have experienced tradegy and I would rather talk to my friends and acquaintances about it than total strangers.

So you cannot twist my words around.

I do feel heartfelt sadness at Marcello's tradegy but at the same time, where is the hope? Feed him hope for Laura not sadness.

This isn't a board full of strangers from where I sit. And that, perhaps, is our difference at heart. And is it so hard to understand that in turn?

I'm not here to relive the past of a thread when my friend was slandered (for which I later apologized to Mark S. which went unheeded and still I was hated (see so bad it's brilliant thread).

You do not know me. I prefer it that way. It's not a reflection on anyone. It is simplly my choice.

See everyone....

She's real like J. Lo. L.E. has feelings...wait until you see her in her new flick: Pia Zadora's eyes...

It's her movie.. Get busy! It's her movie... Get busy! it's her movie... Get busy!

2. Because I thought it was damn funny. And I am not the only one with admin priviledges to that account.

Ummmmmm....question back to you.

Why continue with hating me when you do not know me? Why did everyone continue with the frankly bizarre retreads of the poptones thread when I had already clearly apologized to Mark S. and accepted my apology (see: I love music, so bad its brilliant)?

S'OK, Ty, no need to apologise to *me*: I actually tht that episode was kinda fun myself in a disgraceful way — cuz I can give out as good as as I get, I'm One Mean Queen When Buzzed — but one-on-one total rage-out war *is* unfair to other board-users, quickly boring and toxic.

mark s. sorry for the crap before but alan is my friend. I stick up for my friends (and be a bastard if need be) regardless if they are single moms on the dole or own a record company guy. *shrugs shoulders*

But you are the moderator, DG. You are the person to complain to. It wasn't right to start that thread, and you should've deleted it.

I just did not want my email address soiled and dragged through the mud!

There is no *way* in hell I would have trolled through 5000 ego posts of lollies to find out that information about Kate. I just asked a poptones person why she (Kate) hated poptones so much...

Gawd! I get bored at work but not that bored to trawl through 5000 posts!!!! Hahahah...

That was more fun, than rehashing this.

Now can we go back to discussing my movie career and how much I beat on my P.A.s?

*following you to the movie set*

He said he *Knnnneeewwww* you....

Giving your press conference outside of the rehab in shiny robe, headdress, sunglasses.....

Yer first move? Interpret Harold Robbins, Lonely Lady for Broadway to establish your east coast prescence.

My P.A. has some crazy ideas about my career. I would NEVER date Matt Damon, he's heathen.

He's old news now. Shhh....here take another xanax and valium.....

(Showing signs of control now that you are drug addled starlet....)

'cept after your stunning performance as K-Hole... in Larry Clarke's new movie project

*holding onto MTV Choice Movie Awards Surfboard*

Who earned this baby? Who earned this doomie baby! It wasnt you.....

And slowly the power returns to L.E. after a quick and brutal thrashing with a surfboard.

Teehee.

Life is beautiful.

http://monkeysvsrobots.com/features/doompatrol/doompatrol.htm

Clickable link: The Doom Patrol Extravangaza

I still think it is poor to have threads about people who post to ILE or ILM.
-- The Dirty Vicar, Wednesday, August 22, 2001 5:00 PM (6 years ago)

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/16419/16419-h/images/2cover.jpg

pwned

i agree with him