Having sex with famous people

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Do people who have got lucky with celebrities have to stop themselves shouting "I'M HAVING SEX WITH HALLE BERRY" at the top of their voices and spoiling everything? (especially if it's not Halle Berry, obv.)

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 27 December 2002 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, sometimes the celebrities encourage that sort of behavior, as I'm sure you've all heard the Russell Crowe rumors. "Go Russ! Go Russ!"

Or maybe I'm confused and that's actually what he likes to yell, not what he wants his partner to yell. Either way.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 27 December 2002 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

"Go Russ" = dangerously close to "gross".

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 27 December 2002 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

At least he doesn't ask women to scream, "Go Russ! Go Russ! It's yer birthday!" cuz that would be REALLY embarassing.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"Go Russ! Go Russ! It's yer birthday! Get busy!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I once heard a story about Sly Stone being serviced by a woman in his trailer (on the set of one of his pictures) and requesting that she "stroke the shaft and say my name."

― n/a (amateurist), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

stroke the shaftJulianJulianJulianJulianJulian say my name b1tch

― masonicboom, Friday, 27 December 2002 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

N., is this your way of saying you finally got lucky with Nicole Kidman?

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate it may be time to seek help.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

But Nick, surely you count as a celeb/movie star yourself! You have to tell us how people react to sex with you!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Face it - Julian is a stupid name for a guy anyway.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Mo Apochropal stories:
Unaware that he was still mic'ed up Sly Stallone could be heard by the rest of the crew in his trailer with some female, he could be heard saying "cup the balls, cup the balls... "

Arnholdt Swarzenegger was caught giving head to a woman that wasn't his wife in his trailer once, he turned to the intruder and said "eating isn't cheating".

― DavidM (DavidM), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

You have to tell us how people react to sex with you!

They say, "I'M HAVING SEX WITH HALLE BERRY!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

acta11y 1 rea11y 1yke the name. 1 f1unked Guardian are y0u a r0ck ch1x0r test c0z 1'd name my ch1d Julian n0t 1enn0n.

― masonicboom, Friday, 27 December 2002 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm disappointed you wouldn't name him Julian Asscheeks!

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I've had sex with a famous person (no, I'm not gonna say who) and while there was no temptation to yell his name during, I do have to resist the urge to shout "I had sex with you!" whenever I see him in the media (which is getting more and more common lately, hrm).

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I do have to resist the urge to shout "you are a cunt!" whenever I see him in the media (which is getting 1ess and 1ess common lately, thank fuck)

― masonicboom, Friday, 27 December 2002 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Top five famous people you'd want to have sex with?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

1. sarah silverman
2. mrs. krabapple
3. lil kim
4. avril
5. mark s

― chaki (chaki), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

are chris and kate referring to the legendary pbx creep out guy, that transatlantically stalks, and is INCREDIBLY wussy? that guy is so funny! hes such a bohemian too! (i like that record!)

― gareth (gareth), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

If you have sex with someone famous, you should advertise.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

That's so cool.

I want a "I fucked Chloe Sevigny" shirt! I mean, she's annoying, but still - it would be funny. But also my sister would give me a really hard time because she feels certain that my "Life's a Bitch and Then you Marry One" thrift store t-shirt screams lesbo to the world.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i want mark s to enter me like the wind enters a prarie field

― anthony easton (anthony), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

1t w0u1d be funny 1f we were ta1kng ab0wt the same guy... 1 have n1ghtares ab0wt pe0p1e wear1ng '1 fucked kate 1011ie' sh1rts.

― masonicboom, Friday, 27 December 2002 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

http://romanticmovies.about.com/library/graphics/secretarypubb.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Ew, Hugh.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Would be funny, but I don't think it's the same guy. My guy = not a musician. Also, I'm pretty sure he's only into people with penises.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, you are a MARKETING GENIUS. If your bruised shame circuits can handle it, you should make a big batch of "I FUCKED KATE LOLLIE" t-shirts and sell them on your next tour. (If you don't want to bear the load [so to speak, haw haw], you could just have them say "I FUCKED THE LOLLIES" or "I F*CKED THE LOLLIES" if you're feeling censorial.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

That's not Hugh.
It's James Spader. Have you seen Secretary? I recommend it.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 27 December 2002 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Or perhaps you were saying "Ew" about J.S. and saying you'd prefer Hugh?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 27 December 2002 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I thought it was from that movie with Hugh and Sandra Bullock!

I feel terrible now because I lurve James Spader. Secretary didn't play anywhere around here so I'm waiting for it to come out on dvd.

And Dang is right about the t-shirt idea...

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 27 December 2002 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

(Why is James Spader about to get busy on a vibrant crop of fresh weed?)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 December 2002 22:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I read somewhere that when Merle Oberon and James Cagney hooked up, Oberon said "I can't believe I'm fucking Jimmy Cagney!" Cagney was not impressed.

― rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 27 December 2002 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

This entire thread has cast the phrase "I can't believe it's not butter!" in a startling new light.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 December 2002 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe it's not Butters? That "pedometer" is having disgusting effects on you, Dan.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 27 December 2002 22:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never had sex with a famous person, although I once nearly dated a girl who's currently appearing in a Stayfree commercial. (She says "four-wall protection.")

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 27 December 2002 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

1ts been d0ne. didn't andy warh01 wear a badge that sa1d 1 s1ept w/ nick rh0des? holy shit the rest of the letters in keycaps just appeared

― masonicboom, Friday, 27 December 2002 22:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Believe in Nick Rhodes, he answers prayers!

― Nicole (Nicole), Saturday, 28 December 2002 02:58 (twenty-two years ago)

sometimes, celebrities can contribute to this phenomenon as much as fanatic fans. I heard of this guy on the set of i forget wheich movie, starring Christina Ricci, and she goes up to him and toyingly said "what's the matter? don't you want to FUCK A STAR??"

apparently its her pick-up line

― Vic (Vic), Saturday, 28 December 2002 04:28 (twenty-two years ago)

good for her. men have been using this non-ironically/toyingly for years.

― masonicboom, Saturday, 28 December 2002 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

i heard this keanu reeves story/myth: a keanu semi-look-alike picks up pretty but trashed chick in sydney niteclub. he takes her home, goes into the next room to 'slip into something more comfortable', then comes back looking a hell of a lot more like keanu reeves, in fact exactly like keanu reeves. they do it, he goes to have a shower, comes back looking a lot less like keanu reeves. apparently happened to many pretty but trashed chicks during the filming of the matrix.

― minna (minna), Saturday, 28 December 2002 08:04 (twenty-two years ago)

WHat was he, minna? A shapeshifter? That's bizarre. My cousin kind of vaguely looks like Keanu Reeves but he lives in an institution.

I have two words, Jake Plummer. But sex, no. Even I couldn't do that.

Oh, and I heard that Russell Crowe story at the start of the thread - EXCEPT the way I heard it was that HE yells that, not the girl.

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 28 December 2002 08:11 (twenty-two years ago)

WHat was he, minna? A shapeshifter?

that's one theory...

My cousin kind of vaguely looks like Keanu Reeves but he lives in an institution

don't be so sure! a friend of my mother's lives near a mental hospital, and recently her home was broken into - nothing was taken but the furniture was rearranged into bizarre patterns. so she calls up the mental institution and asks "so, like, is anyone missing?"... and, after a pause, they say ".... well, actually there are about 25 patients missing..."

this could be the key!

― minna (minna), Saturday, 28 December 2002 08:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"I FUCKED KATE LOLLIE" t-shirts

would i wear one? yes i would

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Saturday, 28 December 2002 08:51 (twenty-two years ago)

so she calls up the mental institution and asks "so, like, is anyone missing?"... and, after a pause, they say ".... well, actually there are about 25 patients missing..."

OK, I must ask where she lives. I had this great story told to me - apparently in Amherst, Massachusetts, there was once a mental hospital. It ran out of money, and the state couldn't fund more. So the state's solution was to just kind of let everyone loose. The doors were opened, the mental patients were shooed out, and then they locked it up. So Amherst is apparently teaming with unstable folks who were turned out of their institutional home.

I am sure about my cousin though, unfortunately. He's being moved from an outpatient head center to a regular old institution apparently. He still looks like Keanu Reeves, when he lived in Hollywood people would mistake him for Keanu but then again that's to be expected there.

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 28 December 2002 09:05 (twenty-two years ago)

haha not in amherst, but i have the sinking feeling that ours are not the only two 'escaped pack of mental patient' stories going.

― minna (minna), Saturday, 28 December 2002 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, I think the story about them just opening the doors and letting the crazies spill out is a little extreme, but versions of this were happening all the time in the '70s and '80s thanks to the wonderful policy of deinstitutionalization. Ask anyone if there were as many crazy homeless people around 30-40 years ago.

― Tribling (amateurist), Sunday, 29 December 2002 08:05 (twenty-two years ago)

When I see random people in the bar I have to say "I slept with him/her." Doesn't everyone?

(note self parody here, please)

― That Girl (thatgirl), Sunday, 29 December 2002 08:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I FUCKED KATE LOLLIE
Even better then my DHK shirt which is already GREBT!

Which member of the Plungers did you sleep with?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Sunday, 29 December 2002 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

One day I'll tell all.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Sunday, 29 December 2002 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

marcel proust...he kept the candle burning.

http://ura1195-6.univ-lyon1.fr/SFRS/pub/bulletins/9/images/proust.jpg

― erik, Sunday, 29 December 2002 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

If you want to have sex with a celebrity, why?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 6 January 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Because that will mean my wife is making oodles of money and I can quit my job.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 January 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Slyly answered.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 6 January 2003 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

And having just seen this thread -- such filth! But good filth.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 6 January 2003 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

So, Ned, should we go into the Tshirt making business?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 00:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I've decided. If my "solo career" actually goes any further than this one gig, my promo t-shirts are going to say "I Fucked Kate St.Claire". (Or should they say shagged, so people don't get arrested for wearing them... or is that free publicity if they do?)

And my first solo album is going to be called "Everybody Wants To Shag Kate. St.Claire" ha ha hoo hoo hee hee, eat yer heart out, Julian Cope!

― kate, Tuesday, 7 January 2003 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

You should wear it yourself on stage first.
"I Shagged Kate Gordon" or "I Screwed with Skanky Ho Plunger" evan bettah!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 00:30 (twenty-two years ago)

had this great story told to me - apparently in Amherst, Massachusetts, there was once a mental hospital. It ran out of money, and the state couldn't fund more. So the state's solution was to just kind of let everyone loose. The doors were opened, the mental patients were shooed out, and then they locked it up. So Amherst is apparently teaming with unstable folks who were turned out of their institutional home.

Actually the hospital was located in Northampton,MA,about 10 miles down the road from Amherst,where I call home. According to a reliable source, there was only about 5 people left in the hosptial when it was closed down. My main man, the guy with the colostamy bag, who insists it's a hernia,accosts me for change daily. He says it for "a coffee". I don't think it is since I see him buying vodka daily.

http://www.coin-newbies.com/nsh/photos.html

Yes there are a lot of unstable folks everywhere in Western MA..we're all crazeee.....

― brg30 (brg30), Tuesday, 7 January 2003 00:49 (twenty-two years ago)

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