Who would win in a FITE: Gandalf vs. Spider Man

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A guy at work says Spider Man in a heartbeat, whereas I don't think it's prudent to underestimate the sheer power of the White Wizard's staff.

Also: if you happen to think it'd be a no-contest for any one side, please substitute the loser with ten miniature versions of same (ie. Gandalf vs. 10 Miniature Spider Men) and discuss the relative merits (and potential battle strategems) therein.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:01 (twenty-three years ago)

gandolf. that was simple.

― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Surely Spidey's webs sling as fast, if not faster, than a Balrog's fire whip?

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Smurfs vs. ET!

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Shadowfax and his horsely subjects Vs Spiderman would be a better fite.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Spidey vs. a HORSE?

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:19 (twenty-three years ago)

I would like to see 10 Miniature Gandalfs vs. 10 Miniature Spideys, in a cartoon set to the tune of "Auld Lang Syne".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:22 (twenty-three years ago)

all Spidey has to do is get Gandelf's staff, and he's on easy street.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Nickalicious, that would rawk. And then all the little gandalfs and spideys could end up fallin in lurve at the end, aw.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:23 (twenty-three years ago)

But its the prince/king of all horses in Middle Earth, he's got friends in high places like Radagast the Brown would jump Peter Parker's back in a minute.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, but Spider Man is RADIOACTIVE. I mean, *I* could kill Shadowfax just by putting cyanide in his oats or some shit...

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:26 (twenty-three years ago)

But what if Spider-Man lures Gandalf into a basement?

(TM RACMU/RACMX in-jokes, 1997.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:27 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, but who says that it's a home match for Gandalf??

Spidey and the Fantastic Four would pulverise the whole poxy fellowship! It's Clobberin Time! Mr Fantastic would only need to invent some sort of paradox device to thwart the magic power of Gandalf.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:27 (twenty-three years ago)

thats not a fite, thats an ambush. And don't think Shadowfax doesn't have his poison testers muzzle through his feedbag first. Every straw of hay, lick of salt inspected by his loyal subjects.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Jel makes a solid point here re: no pre-established venue.

For the sake of argument, let's assume that this fite is taking place in, I dunno, Madison Square Garden.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Gollum with his precious Vs Nightcrawler, FITE!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Legolas vs Hawkeye (archery smackdown)

Sam and Frodo vs Wolverine

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Merry and Pippin vs. the Silver Surfer

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Sam and Frodo vs Wolverine

Jel you can't be serious! What would the hobbits do - club him to death with prothestic feet?

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:38 (twenty-three years ago)

it's a perfect scenario! the two bumbling fools manage to outsmart a near indestructable killing machine! (or not hahahaha!)

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 18:41 (twenty-three years ago)

since when spider-man has a posse? wasnt he like a league of justice backup or something?

― Chupa-Cabras (vicc13), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 20:43 (twenty-three years ago)

He just got pity points from other superhereoes who felt that the X-Men were bulling him. I still wish Wolverine would finaly kick his ass one day.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 21:24 (twenty-three years ago)

It is now 2003. The Hulk will win anything, regardless.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 1 January 2003 14:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Going back to the original, first attack wins. Spidey could knock G out with one strike, or Gandalf could magically defeat Spidey in one. Not much of a spectacle, either way.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 1 January 2003 20:45 (twenty-three years ago)

important question: how does gandalf get his staff BACK from saruman?

saruman takes it away and gandalf is stuck on top of orthanc: he tells a moth to go find an eagle, and escapes => back in rivendell, he has his old staff back!!

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 2 January 2003 14:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I think he just found another piece of twisty old wood - it's not the specific staff, it's a focusing device, innit. Not to mention a handy holder for shiny hippy crystal magick torch in Moria. And he has a new more formal one when he comes back as The White Wizard, so unless the Power that sent him back fiddled with his original staff to make it purtier, it's just like a lady's handbag - indispensible but interchangeable.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 2 January 2003 15:09 (twenty-three years ago)

In the film (and not in the books, I think), it's fairly clear that he's been Sent Back (Michael Landon style), and so presumably giving him a new staff would be no problem. Was his old staff bright white too?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 2 January 2003 15:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I think for the purpose of debate we should assume that both entities are operating at full strength, therefore Gandalf is WITH staff.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 2 January 2003 15:22 (twenty-three years ago)

he has it in rivendell b4 he gets "sent back"

lady's handbag = you own or rent, surely, none of which applies - tho possibly he has a suite kept for him that the last homely house, and a wardrobe full of very extremely similar-looking twisty staffs

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 2 January 2003 15:22 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.bugeyedmonster.com/toys/lotr/lotr/gandalf.jpg

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 January 2003 03:43 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.whatacharacter.com/p-s/s0598108.jpg

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 3 January 2003 03:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Gandalf versus Moses.

― Dave Fischer, Friday, 3 January 2003 05:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Surely Gandal versus Doctor Strange would be a fairer fight? Or Dr Fate?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 3 January 2003 18:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Sauron vs. lame X-Men villain Sauron?

― Simon Generic, Saturday, 4 January 2003 07:07 (twenty-three years ago)

How can a pterodactyl with hypnotic powers be lame? (Yes he is, in fact, but it's an appealingly mentalist combination.)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 4 January 2003 15:12 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm disappointed with the lack of actual speculation on this thread.

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 4 January 2003 15:36 (twenty-three years ago)

That's because I nailed it - first attack wins.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 4 January 2003 15:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Gandalf wins easily. It's just a matter of casting a spell on Spiderman which turns him into a canteloupe, and then disposing of him (and perhaps first dunking him into a basketball goal a la a hilarious movie starring Eddie Murphy and Pauly Shore).

― dleone (dleone), Saturday, 4 January 2003 15:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Spider-man would sense Gandalf-based danger before it happened, and web his mouth and hands up to rpevent spellage. And then J Jonah Jameson would write a trilogy of books entitled "Gandalf - Threat Or Menace?"

― Al Ewing (Al Ewing), Sunday, 5 January 2003 03:03 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Katie would win.

― Graham (graham), Sunday, 5 January 2003 03:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Gandalf vs. 1000 mini-Spidermen. Crawling all over his staff and then being magically repelled and then crawling right back. Ugh.

― Maria (Maria), Sunday, 5 January 2003 03:55 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

My wife figures that the Smurfs are an unstoppable force capable of overcoming any foe through teamwork and battle language. She also thinks Milo and Otis would come in a close second.

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 7 February 2003 15:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Bryan your wife may be drunk.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:07 (twenty-three years ago)

This thread is fucXoRed up.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:08 (twenty-three years ago)

The Smurfs ARE an unstoppable force, what's wrong with you people?

― smee (smee), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Currently my biggest problem is that I am NOT drunk.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I keep telling her she's drunk, but she just says "shut up or I'll kick you in the nuts."

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:35 (twenty-three years ago)

How on Earth did I miss Maria's vaguely nauseating description of Gandalf's crablike infestations of mini-Spidermen? EEEEEURGH.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:35 (twenty-three years ago)

And why does Bryan appear to be married to Cartman?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Would Cartman call somebody "OGRAM THE CHROME DOME!" though?

― smee (smee), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:38 (twenty-three years ago)

My wife is more like the Brain.

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:47 (twenty-three years ago)

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