Guilt

I don't think it's childish at all to not want to feel guilty all the time. Being completely stressed out and worried helps no one and is not necessarily a mature thing to do (speaking of myself here). I think that my being a worry wort has motivated me to do some good things, but too much guilt is a bad thing. It can be paralyzing.

Absolutely. I've learned that the trick is to approach the guilt in small measures: I usually feel guilty about being too poor in pocket the few times I get to go out. Tis hard when your mates have dosh in their pocket, and you don't.

However, I always try to give them something else in return....even if they don't ask.

Where's Dan Perry? Hello?

ha ha j/k

but. having a stressed out worrier-type personality isn't inherently "bad". an article on how that sort of pessimism (when not so excessive to be paralyzing) can be good/useful--

http://magazine.uchicago.edu/0210/features/worst.html

i feel guilty about far too many things to list, many of which are irrational. so i try to tone down the unnecessary/unrealistic guilt. moderation, etcetera, as sarah pointed out.

The danger is that if you repeatedly do things that make you feel guilty, you may become desensitized to your conscience. Like people who do vile things repeatedly and say "oh sorry" like it's a get-out-of-jail card.

how do I stop ruining people's lives and hurting everyone I care about

damn i wish i had the power to ruin ppls lives

think about it that way, like in schindlers list where schindler talks to the concentration camp guy & he's like 'yes you have the power to take life, but you grow even more powerful when you gain the strength to decline this power'

haha thanks deeznuts you always give the best advice

After a month of giving nothing my attention except for paper mario differential equations and emo bullshit I'm starting to think like an xkcd comic strip

oh man i read through the entire xkcd archive instead of going to bed last night. so much of it was scarily true to life! i was sitting alone in my room cracking up laughing at one in the morning.

also, regarding guilt...i think it must be useful in getting people to stick to traditional christian sexual morality. it's only recently occurred to me that it's not a *side effect* of this morality, it's an actual cause for adherence. this means your upbringing has an alarming effect on whether or not you stick to it! scary!

how do I stop ruining people's lives and hurting everyone I care about

don't overestimate this power. ppl usually care less about you than you think.

the older you get,the less guilty you feel.

i do feel guilty about that chocolate mousse i ate. wish i hadn't, so i have one to eat now.

stevienixed is on the money per her usual self.

guilt can be incredibly narcissistic in a way.

how do I stop ruining people's lives and hurting everyone I care about

Do you believe "it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission" is a truthbomb or the biggest lie ever told?

i don't like guilt :(

One of the only good things about guilt is that if you feel it from time to time then you are probably not a sociopath. Otherwise, it doesn't really do anyone any favors. If you fuck up you can apologize to someone and attempt to make amends, try to understand why you did what you did, try to make a point of not letting it happen again...

Generally speaking, people are way, way too hard on themselves. Self-forgiveness is very important, I think.

That being said, I am "guilty" of having done some serious numbers on myself in the past b/c I felt overwhelmed with feelings of guilt after having wronged others.

My godfather died and he was a purple heart veteran! I feel bad, I saw him at the hairdresser a few months ago and he couldn't speak. I wanted to tell him how much he inspired me to be a stronger person...he was so stoic.

I feel bad about not having served in the military. I wanted to, but my dad didn't want me to end up in Iraq. It is a stupid guilt, but I feel bad about never having told my godfather how much his service meant to me.

I have a nonagenarian grandmother and I take time now to watch tv with her and tell stories, I love her so much and I want her to know that I always have her in mind. How many family have I not done this to.

When I'm around the elderly though I feel terrible. They are such strong people!

mother's day today

'_'

I've always had guilt issues (goes pretty hand in hand w/ anxiety), but it's *really* bad lately. I suspect the sick current environment in the US and brain fatigue are contributing.

yeah i've got guilt issues as well, recovering christian

lol feel ya on that one

Guilt is not quite the same as remorse, but the differences between them makes guilt a much less useful as a lever for making flawed people into better people.

Remorse attaches to specific actions and compels one to forever associate that specific action with giving rise to wretched feelings, so you learn to avoid acting that way. Guilt is more of an existential state with no hope of remedy from within. You are condemned by a larger entity than yourself, society or god or some unappeasable form of conscience. Your whole being is guilty and you are irredeemable unless that larger entity says otherwise, and who can ever be sure of what god or society is saying anyway?

I don't mind remorse. It has a purpose. Guilt just sucks balls.