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T-Shirt Slogans

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What are things that have been said that aren't on T-shirts (that we know of) that should be?

Here are good examples:

Someday I Will Eat Your Fanciness

Irony Has Gone Too Far

They Eat Bananas = They Are Monkeys (this would be improved if two bunches of bananas were located over the chest area and the slogan was under it)

― Ally, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ersk atsy can Tractor!

― DG, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"HATE"

― JM, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

SEX

― Lyra, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(front) MAKE 7
(back) UP YORS

can't miss. alternately: "ladies: free breathalizer test. blow here." with an arrow. pointing down.

― fred solinger, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I asked for T-shirts that haven't already been made. I mean, christ, I could sit there and talk about "NEW YORK FUCKIN' CITY" but that would defeat the point, Fred. CREATIVITY NOW.

I want a t-shirt that says "JARV AND BRITNEY NOW"

― Ally, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Your Personal Space Stops on the Inside Of Your Sod Skirt.

(Proper credit given to A.K.)

― Lyra, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My best refrigerator slogans (either handwritten or magnetized):

Irony Has Gone Too Far
Upper West Side Porno Drunks
Destroy Times Square

The rest are useless though our new habit of putting random words to describe the people in our pictures on top of the pictures is pretty cool.

― Ally, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dudes Hate Me

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

B.O.F. (bitter old fuck)

― Andrew L, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't wear t-shirts, especially if they have slogans on them. If you want my opinion, "da ba dee da ba dye" would look nice.

― Otis Wheeler, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You had on a t-shirt with a PICTURE OF YOURSELF AS A BABY on it last time you were in NYC, don't dog on logo tees.

― Ally, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ohhhhhhh. then i guess "abercrombie and fitch" is out of the question. unless you do it in big block letters on a white t-shirt. then all the kids will want it.

― fred solinger, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

how about " Are you a MOTHER!?!?!?"

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Is Your Mama a Llama?"

― Lyra, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"i have no need for external validation"

"dual the chubi"

"this is not a t-shirt slogan"

"ILe"

― jel, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"[picture of me]"

― Wheeler, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

my feet smell

― jel, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What about the Britney Spears shirt, Wheeler? You do so wear t-shirts!

― Ally, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Robots vs. Dinosaurs!

― jel, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Pet Necrophilia: Classic or Dud?"

― Lyra, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

THEY TOOK MY HAMS

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Front = "DUMPER"

Back = "NOT DUMPEE"

― Dave M., Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Robots for Everyone

― Wheeler, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

BLURILLAZ!!

― bnw, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I'd Rather Be Naked"

― rainy, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I may have handprints printed across my tits but my sexual morals are still as retarded as any other dumb english girl."

Oh,a nd i once saw a photo from some london club where two girls just cut squares right out from the chest. Brilliant in respect of the statement (fuck this sexual playfulness from girls who don't mean it) and that you could see the uncovered breast.

― matthew james, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"You Die Now."

― JM, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

while i was in high school shirts were made by myself and a group of friends that poked fun at the Abercrobie craze. a good example of one was "Abercrombie Hide and Seek Team" in typical Abercrombie style typeface with a picture of a victorian era little girl peeking her head out from behind a rock. another was "Abercrombie Whale Watching League" with a big blue whale on the front. they were much cooler than the real "Abercrombie Bobsledding Team" type shirts, and much cheaper, i might add.

― mike j, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

is that your real ass?

― Geoff, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Buy One Get One Free"

And I also love the t-shirts they sometimes have in shop windows that say "SALE", though strangely enough they never are for sale.

― Martin, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'Euthanasia For Christ'

― dave q, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ally, just get thee to Fcuk. You seem very in sync with them... or at least the punx0r tshirt sellers in the mecca of Afflecks hippydom. Sigh. Or just to go New Look and buy a tshirt with "gorgeous chick" written on it despite the fact you MINGx0R.

My tshirt would say "If I were a pig I would hunt truffles all day long" and the quote would be attributed to Lixi. Preferably there would be a picture of a pig. Hunting truffles.

Have started to loathe slogan tshirts like plague.

― Sarah, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, I do have a FCUK logo t. It says "COOL AS FCUK". I wear it to bars, all the drunk men think it says "COOL AS FUCK" and carry on about it. The best part about it is that the logo is in small letters - you do need to look to notice. You sort out who is looking at your tits and who isn't with that shirt on.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There's people who DON'T look at tits?

― dave q, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't you ever get tired of being a cartoon?

Which should, incidentally, be on a t-shirt.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

How about the following:
Free Mumia
Nude Spock

Witty
Phrase
Here

Angry Men
Are
Scared Boys

HEY THERE
TOUGHGUY

STARE
YOU
IDIOT

YOU'RE
C OOL

back: NOT

― Nude Spock, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sarah - why not just have a picture of Lixi hunting for truffles?

― Ally C, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's so hard to find truffles in Brixton these days... ever since they paved over Soho, London has been a terrible hunting ground. Snuffle.

― Sarah, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My relatives have been slandered!

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"What shitty band are you in?" (seen at the Guided by Voices gig last night).

― nathalie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Booty Pop"

(courtesy of nathalie)

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I HATE YOU ....becasue you didn't rim me.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've been re-reminded by the chain story thread that PINKETRON is just THE coolest word. Ever. Therefore Pinketron absolutely must get its own T-shirt.

― Kim, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Death Before Dishonor.

― JM, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have one with puffy hot pink writing in this barouqe decadent end of the french court font . It says Art Phag. I also have one that says Sodomite. I have one from my morg days that says Joesph Smith is a Prophet of G-d in 38 languages. I want one that says Joseph Smith was a Pyschopathic Fraud in 238

― anthony, Saturday, 25 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

FASCIST MUESLI POLICE

Also, as I was wearing to Kareoke yesterday: "CRAIG DAVID SUCKS".

― Graham, Saturday, 25 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've turned down multiple offers for my "Don't Hate Kate" T-shirt. The only annoying part is having to explain what a SHB is all the time.

― zacko, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Leave my childhood alone you unfunny fucks." Courtesy DavidM.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Wednesday, 29 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I saw a lot of unfunny ironic/sweary T-shirts at the Reading Festival. The only one that raised a smile just said 'CUNT'. There was one that said 'JESUS IS A CUNT' but that wasn't so good.

― Nick, Thursday, 30 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 91 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.
Yes, PLEASE!!!! Please!!!! Can we have one of these??????

Never mind, Luna. Though "secret funky maestro of fuck" should be on the new ILX T-shirt.
-- Nichole Graham (britbab...), October 24th, 2003.

― Skottie, Friday, 24 October 2003 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"I Blame Hstencil" should be the new "Don't Hate Kate".

Verbum!

― kate (kate), Friday, 24 October 2003 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

My father in law has one that says "Shitake Happens!" with a picture of shitake mushrooms on it.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 24 October 2003 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought about making one that says "all american dive team" in honor of dumpster diving, with a logo of a diver doing said activity. Perhaps a flag on fire as well.

The only one I kept from when I used to wear such things is the shirt that says "smoke crack and worship satan."

Possibly the most offensive shirt imaginable would feature a large smiling clown, and in very tiny print above it.... "what's the worst part of being a pedophile?" and below... "washing the blood out of your clown suit."

― sucka (sucka), Friday, 24 October 2003 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...
"personal death nuts"

(with thanks to Mike A.)

― Skottie, Tuesday, 9 March 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel like I mentioned this on another thread, but at a scary biker bar in Los Angeles I saw I guy with a homemade t-shirt on that made me fuckin' laugh out loud...

FRONT: I HATE YOU!
Back: YEAH, YOU!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

LESS TREES, MORE ADVENTURE

YOU ONLY DEFEND THINGS 'COS YOU LIKE THEM

7 OUT OF TEN

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I ¢¾ Bloomberg

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 12 March 2004 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

RELIGIOUS AS FUCK

INTERMINABLE ARSE

I'LL BE BACK (on the front)
I'LL BE FRONT (on the back)

I DEMAND...SOMETHING

― Snowy Mann (rdmanston), Saturday, 13 March 2004 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

One of the places I work for is putting out a shirt that says

FRONT: NOBODY LISTENS TO TECHNO
BACK: NOW LET'S GO!!!

― LC, Saturday, 13 March 2004 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"MOMUS STOLE MY TRUCKER HAT"

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Saturday, 13 March 2004 05:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"a pretty girl is like a melody"
with little notes underneath it

"i miss the spice girls"

― gimikz, Saturday, 13 March 2004 05:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Shut Up Bitch!
This is Not a Fugazi T-shirt
I'm With Stupid


I'm waiting for these, SOMEONE's got to come up with them!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 13 March 2004 06:05 (twenty-one years ago)

PWNED!!!111

― g-kit (g-kit), Saturday, 13 March 2004 09:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i said
a hip, a hop
a hip, a hippy
to the hip hip hop
and you don't stop
a rockin' to the
bang bang boogie
said up jumped
the boogie
to the rhythm
of the boogie
the beat

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Saturday, 13 March 2004 09:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw an NYU girl yesterday with a homemade "I HATE EMINEM!" t-shirt,....which I thought was dead cool.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 13 March 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I was always partial to "If you ain't a cowboy, you ain't shit", but "Mustache Rides 10 cents" is better, especially if you've got a huge handlebar Rollie Fingers thing going on, double especially if you're a woman

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 13 March 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

did it say "YEAH, EMINEM!" on the back?

― m., Saturday, 13 March 2004 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

My favorite t-shirt slogan of all time is "it's not a pot belly--it's a fuel tank for a sex machine!"

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 13 March 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I did once see someone at a Nashville Pussy show wearing an "I Shot Tupac" shirt....which I thought was most brave...and most stupid.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 13 March 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Not that there'd be a massive contingent of sensitive Tupac sympathizers at a Nashville Pussy show (just the opposite, I'd imagine), but he still had to walk the streets to get there.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 13 March 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

My other t-shirt is a t-shirt

― Maria D., Saturday, 13 March 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I suppose there already has been a bumpersticker slogans thread, but I'm too lazy to look. Anyway, my friend had a brilliant idea for a bumpersticker:

I brake like a little girl.

― Maria D., Saturday, 13 March 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

My Other T-Shirt is a Thong.

― Skottie, Saturday, 13 March 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Much better

― Maria D., Saturday, 13 March 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I Go Nuts
For Wrangler Butts.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 13 March 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

in my town it was "Tight Butts Drive Me Nuts"

and Maria D maybe I'm your friend, I came up with something like that on a Dante-Cubed thread a couple of weeks ago, with the braking and the little girls and the Dylan and the bumperstickers and whooooah

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 13 March 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Beg2Differ, I think you're my BEST friend.
Actually this friend of whom I speak is named Beth. So I guess you're my Beth friend.

― Maria D., Saturday, 13 March 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

WUV

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 13 March 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Maria, that kicked total ass. I'd tip my hat to you but I haven't got a hat.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 13 March 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Beth does. Imposter!

― Maria D., Saturday, 13 March 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

imposter = I'm poster

oh dude that's so cosmic

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 13 March 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...
"No" means "Probably"
(always)

― Skottie, Wednesday, 31 March 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"Do you take it up the twunt?"

― mrpon, Friday, 9 April 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"Slogans Are Just Slogans"

― mei (mei), Friday, 9 April 2004 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"Your T-Shirt Is WRONG""

― mei (mei), Friday, 9 April 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...
"My scar feels pretty good right about now."

― Skottie, Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck you stare harder


and "props to ghostwriter" in tiny print on the back

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 April 2004 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...
Some slogans a friend came up with at the weekend:

"YOU are a terrorist"

"Your Mum went to London and all she got me was this stupid t-shirt"

"I'd rather be humping your mum"

"Your Mum went to Ibiza and all she got me was the clap"

and obviously a t-shirt advertising the Dread Lion pub.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 10 May 2004 06:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Caution: you're a moron.

I [picture of plane]
NY

― hmmm (hmmm), Monday, 10 May 2004 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

five months pass...
patsy kensit..but walt disnae...you really have to be scottish to appreciate it.. or..I'm with hormonal

― brain cameron, Wednesday, 3 November 2004 22:38 (twenty years ago)

four months pass...
Love me, love my shunt.

― dearborne, Thursday, 10 March 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

hesitation, repetition, deviation

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 10 March 2005 11:55 (twenty years ago)

five years pass...

i saw a lady wearing a shirt that said UNTAME TA-TAS

― harbl, Monday, 14 June 2010 13:14 (fifteen years ago)

eleven years pass...

don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk

― Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 4 May 2022 20:07 (three years ago)

three years pass...

#2faat2tasty

― calstars, Sunday, 29 June 2025 22:34 (yesterday)

*fast

― calstars, Sunday, 29 June 2025 22:37 (yesterday)

I saw a woman on the bus a few weeks ago with a baby in a stroller wearing a tshirt that said, in a glittery font: “Bust That Pussy Wide Open”. Kid must’ve had a big head!

― The "W" and Odie Trail (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 29 June 2025 22:56 (yesterday)

Variations on “fuck you you fucking fuck” are around, it’s like ok, i get it

― calstars, Sunday, 29 June 2025 22:59 (yesterday)

Worn by congressmen, no less

― The "W" and Odie Trail (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 29 June 2025 23:55 (yesterday)


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