Be a casting director!

Robert Conway, middle-aged British diplomat -- Liam Neeson or Jeremy Irons (possible gambles both, but they have enough appeal and relative intensity to carry the part)

George Conway, Robert's younger, more impulsive brother -- easy, Christian Bale (just for Ally, sure, but he's the right age and would do a good job)

Sondra, inhabitant of Shangri-La and Robert Conway's eventual love interest -- wild gamble, but why not...Thandie Newton, no reason why she couldn't be so, as the character's background is open enough, and I think she would work well opposite either Neeson or Irons

Chang, Shangri-La's majordomo and guide for the newcomers -- Chow Yun Fat (a thankless role, but he'd punch up the dialogue by sheer presence, and as a younger man provide more of a connection directly to Irons or Neeson)

The High Lama, founder of Shangri-La -- this one is hard, it's essentially playing a human Yoda, and of Caucasian background...apparently French as well. Let's say Gerard Depardieu with make-up and costuming to appear more frail (the role doesn't require him to move one inch from a chair, so his imposing size could be artfully camoflauged).

Alexander Lovett, nervous paleantologist -- for comic relief purposes, this one screams Nathan Lane, for better or for worse, so it's his

Gloria Stone, woman with 'a past' -- mm...Heather Graham, again sorta thankless but she could do it

Henry Barnard, hail-fellow-well-met con man -- needs a bluff character actor here, let's say Brian Dennehy

Maria, inhabitant of Shangri-La and lovesick for George Conway -- ostensibly Russian, younger actress, needs to look good opposite Christian Bale. I would say throw Ally in there, but Mr. Bale could well be damaged by the end of shooting, so in lieu of that...ah, what the hell, Christina Ricci with dialect coaching, why not?

If filmed in black and white like the original, then the cinematographer is Stefan Czapsky, based on his work on the utterly brilliant Ed Wood. If color, then for capturing the mountain uplands at the very least, Peter Pau, who handled Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Director...actually, Ang Lee I could easily see tackling this after having done some two-rooms-only low-budget domestic drama in one of his contrarian moves, but conceptually this seems like the type of thing Roman Polanski or Francis Ford Coppola would do to get their hand back in. Music by John Williams by default, knowing the studio system, but if things went more my way, Graeme Revell or Ryuchi Sakamoto.

Willem Dafoe as Senator Vargas (Charlton Heston)
Naomi Watts as Susan Vargas (Janet Leigh)
John Goodman (trust me!) as Capt. Hank Quinlan (Orson Welles)
Dylan Baker as Sgt. Pete Menzies (Joseph Calleia)
Danny DeVito as Uncle Joe Grandi (Akim Tamiroff)

Rev. Frank Scott: Formerly Gene Hackman. He would be well suited to be played by Russell Crowe in the remake, especially the scene where he screams like a lunatic and makes everyone climb that stupid Christmas tree.

Mike Rogo: Formerly Ernest Borgnine. He should now be played by Gene Hackman, which is both big and clever of me.

Belle Rosen: Formerly Shelly Winters. She should now obviously be played by equally "spunky" Kathy Bates (I mean besides the dying part isn't this basically what Bates's performance in Titanic was based on?)

Susan Shelby: Formerly Pamela Sue Martin. She should be replaced with Katie Holmes.

Robin Shelby: Formerly some kid. He is now played by Haley Joel Osment since Haley Joel Osment is the only actor in that age range I know.

I forget everything about Roddy MacDowell but he should be replaced with Christian Bale just for good measure.

(xpost)

Starring:
Cate Blanchett as Joan (Falconetti)
Sir Michael Gambon as the main judge guy
Al Pacino as the abby who tricks Joan
Peter Boyle as the head guard
Billy Crudup as the sympathetic abby

i am standing by my Baldwin-as-everybody Drugstore Cowboy remake

*shrugs*

!!!

jones + ILE = love!!!

jones + ILF= "what have you done for me lately?"

...just kidding. ;P