I am weirded out by people hating me

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Kim implies that she does not like me (here). I have never been able to cope with this and I think this is at the root of the shyness I still have.

But I do not like people who do not care if people like them (though I assume they are unhappy and therefore I feel bad for them too).

I do not know what I am asking.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, at least you get responses to your posts! I am a whiny fuck.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING YOU ARE SAYING

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:12 (twenty-two years ago)

That thread is ingeniously structured. I understand u, nick, but it's a difficult one, you knoww.

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw... I was completely joking. I like you! Although you may be better off if I don't as I'm especially mean to the people I like the best. Yes, yes, I am one of *those* girls. Just ask the Toronto folks.

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:19 (twenty-two years ago)

If someone likes me, even a little bit, I think it's the best thing ever, though I'm not a freak about it or anything (huh?). There may be a post about a Toronto FAP soon, Kim. It would be cool if people would come, since I'm coming all the way to Toronto from balmy Winnipeg (staying with Seanny C.). I might even buy a round.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Now I really do not understand what naked as sin is saying.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:23 (twenty-two years ago)

How does that make you feel?

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know!

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay! A free beer and I'm there Bryan. No arm twisting needed! Yes, good lord, the girl is easy too...

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Sometime around February 15th sound ok?

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:29 (twenty-two years ago)

That was the perfect answer, nick.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm good as long as it's not the 15th itself. I have to be somewhere that day.

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Ok. I'm in Toronto from the 13th to the 18th, but possibly in Windsor on the 13th and 14th. All other times are good. We'll get a thread going sometime in the next couple of weeks and work it out.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:35 (twenty-two years ago)

you're OK by me.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Difficult question to answer/"ingeniously structured" was very subjective.

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Has N. forgiven me for calling him a shouty bastard though? I don't want to be hated either! I care!

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Well really I can't explain "ingeniously structured" without sounding FUCKING AMAZINGLY pompous, so I won't.

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd say he's taken aback.

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Kim loves me!

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:55 (twenty-two years ago)

may I like nik on his muffin

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't extrapolate too much Sundar...

If N. doesn't forgive me I'll cry. Like, secretly in the dark and stuff, but I WILL.

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 03:58 (twenty-two years ago)

See!

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 04:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Mike Hanle y in the superstrong ILX return!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 04:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I was on vaation in portland and Boston. I still link monks for real

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 08:08 (twenty-two years ago)

He's still the king!

Mike, will you pardon Kim for me.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 08:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I like people hating me, because at least they're repulsed by me.. or at least having some sort of reaction to my presence. I also like hating people.

― nellie (minna), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 08:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you the hip hop star?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 08:53 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I'm not. I'm the Nellie as in N for from Wheel Of Fortune

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 09:00 (twenty-two years ago)

oops, the perils of posting on the same computer as one's relatives.

― nellie (minna), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 09:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Think you're reading into things too much, there, N. And besides that, has Kim met you in real life? Writing can often be strange in the fact that there's no real inflection in it. I think if she met you (although I haven't) it would probably be different. As regards what you feel about people hating you, personally I think that you shouldn't let it affect you as much as it obviously does. Not everybody you meet will like you, just as not everyone I meet likes me. That doesn't mean there's any kind of a problem with who or what you are, just that, well, varying people are comfortable with vastly differing personality traits in their friends. The old saying may as well have an additional "You can't please some of the people any of the fucking time". Fact of life, and it's nothing to do with you.
Um, hope that helps in some way......

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 09:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick is a nice bastard.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I think you have to be strong and accept that some people aren't gonna like you, but really I want people to like me.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm always thinking "X" doesn't like me.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm the same. I KNOW, intellectually, that not everyone will like me, but this has never filtered through to my emotions. Obviously Kim was joking, but still Nick's reaction would have been mine.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

He's never got over me calling him arrogant. This thread is yet another example of Nick's narcissistic arrogance, cleverly worded to make it look like it is not all about him. Pah.

I like him though.

(Oh and Jel, I was talking to X the other day and he said he didn't like you. His youngest brouth xXx however was impressed by you always bigging up his movie.)

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

moved into a new office on monday morning. at noon on the wednesday the bloke i moved in next to has moved his desk to the other side of the office. => i smell. or something.

actually, i'm surprised it took him two days 8)

andy

― koogs, Wednesday, 8 January 2003 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

It's an unfortunate fact that people who suffer from congenital shyness often overcompensate by adapting a blustering and/or sarcastic and/or scrappy personality facade in public (especially on internet things). This "Oh you all hate me anyway" thing is a total defense mechanism - I know, I'm guilty of it, too. However, it's a self perpetuating circle, because this attitude can alienate other people (especially ones who are shy and defensive themselves) which causes them to take the H4t3r attitude which makes you so defensive in the first place.

Whenever I read N's posts, I'm ALWAYS convinced that he is somehow mocking me. I know that's "just how he is" but it's hard not to take it personally. Therefore I'm often harsh or critical due to over-sensitivity in my posts back to him. I always feel like there is an air of antagonism, and I don't know if it's projection, or if I'm overly paranoid, or what.

Sorry if this comes out wrong (everything I've been saying has been coming out wrong.) I'm just trying to explain *why* I react the way that I do. But then again, I'm always convinced that everyone secretly (or not so secretly) hates me.

― kate, Wednesday, 8 January 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm absolutely positive no one likes me.

― alix (alix), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I wuv N. Sorta? And Alix is nice and Kate is not hateable. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I like N's posts. I find them funny.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I like alix and archel and N.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

But hate me, obviously. Well, FUCK YOU, RJG!!!

― kate, Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

You see this is not what I hoped this thread would become.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

It's okay, Nick. I was kidding anyway.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I like N's posts. I do not care if ppl dislike me as you can't please everybody all the time and that is that.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

What's wrong with people not caring if people like them. I mean obviously going around and acting like a dick is just going around and acting like a dick but surely if you don't like someone then it's natural not to care if they like you.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

kate?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

not to me ronan, i always want people to like me even if i don't like them. hopefully they'll only like me in a passive leave me alone way tho.

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

what minna said

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 21 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

You mean, if we're her friends we're obliged to? No. But I imagine that many of us want to. Which is the same thing except for its being different.

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

For the record I love Nicole but she won't have me.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 9 January 2003 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Probably because you're so deiberately obstuse. Not to mention shouty. And a bastard.

I'm pushing my luck here aren't I?

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 9 January 2003 00:03 (twenty-two years ago)

wow - worst spelling EVER!

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 9 January 2003 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

NiCoLe:

I probably am the most disliked ilxor anyway.

I really, really doubt this is true. I myself don't hate anyone, but i wish people who post ass troll threads on ILM would FUKC OFF fOREVER.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 9 January 2003 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I like RJG and alix and archel and N.

Oh, and my friend N**** mentioned Nabisco last night at dinner. So I guess she likes him.

― Mandee, Thursday, 9 January 2003 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

why does nicole always say this anyway, have i missed something along the way. what is it you have done or said nicole that makes you apparently hateable???

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 9 January 2003 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

It started with being called stupid and boring, and I have heard a couple of other things that were not posted on the board. It's not fishing, I'm just not part of any of the ilx cliques for whatever reason. It's fine.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 9 January 2003 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole is an ilx outsider. If this true, I think we should all pretty much just vacate and leave mark s and Ned to talk amonst themselves.

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 9 January 2003 01:03 (twenty-two years ago)

There are ILX cliques? Oh no!

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 9 January 2003 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Get out of my head, Nabisco, Mark S and I have to talk.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 January 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

(And yeah, I've said it before, will say it again -- Nicole roxxs and then some.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 January 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole, you in my clique, boo.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 9 January 2003 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

You'll never how many chicks I've dicked, cos u told me u hated my clique.

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Thursday, 9 January 2003 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

WOW!!! Is this a joke or what??? Who the fuck cares, about what you fucking think---you think about. Ya think???

― Lorraine Vigil (Lorraine Vigil), Thursday, 9 January 2003 02:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not in any ILX cliques, I just post alot but I'm really not in any sort of clique.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 9 January 2003 09:45 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks fritz! it makes me feel better even though i know i'm mental!

― minna (minna), Thursday, 9 January 2003 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

i had a crap new years because i found out some person hates me: i don't know why it upset me, when i don't even like her! ps nicole you are not dislikeable.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 9 January 2003 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i am suspicious of people that like me. i mean, i'm not very nice. so they must want something. right?

---

Your friendship? Am I just hopelessly uncynical?

but the point is, my friendship is rubbish. i'd rather they didn't find out the hard way...

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 9 January 2003 11:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Let others decide that. You aren't friends with yourself. Actually, the most important part of that question was whether uncynical is a word.

No, honestly, I mean it about the friends thing. I'm sure there are people who value you and your friendship. Don't be so down on yourself (although saying that to me six months ago would have been like a red rag to a bull - sorry if that's the case - it just happens to be good advice. Unless you're a goth.)

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Thursday, 9 January 2003 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Let others decide that. You aren't friends with yourself. Actually, the most important part of that question was whether uncynical is a word.

yeah, but i didn't know the answer...

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 9 January 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Fucking hell. You're not even a very good message board aquaintance.......;o)

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Thursday, 9 January 2003 12:02 (twenty-two years ago)

And no, I didn't mean that. I'm now paranoid about people thinking that I hate them.

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Thursday, 9 January 2003 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

arrr! this thread be an eternal loop.

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 9 January 2003 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I have no reason to believe that anyone on ILE hates me, I will go that far :)

(Please ignore that obvious cue for posts starting 'actually...' and let me live in ignorance.)

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 9 January 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm more concerned by people thinking I dislike them when I don't, to be honest.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 9 January 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

ugh, that too

― minna (minna), Thursday, 9 January 2003 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

That's particularly bad if you're just ambivalent.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 9 January 2003 12:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah if someone thinks you hate them you can't really say "Hey no, I don't mind you!"

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 9 January 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I love Nicole and N. and Alix and anyone who'll love me back.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 9 January 2003 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I am upset by people hating me. Therefore, when I perceive people hating me, I lash out defensively, making people hate me. I'm really not too bad.

― Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 9 January 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I am upset by the thought that people might hate me, but I'd rather be hated than ignored.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 9 January 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

(to answer the original question)
hate breeds hate

― gygax!, Friday, 10 January 2003 00:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I DON'T HATE CHINESE PEOPLE.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 10 January 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

not as a whole, anyway. right?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 10 January 2003 01:13 (twenty-two years ago)

No, not as come kind of collective hive mind.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 10 January 2003 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Well we've talk about it, its been decided the Toronto Clique has grown into a movement that can't be stopped. Join us or die, can you do anyless?
I can be there provided it does not interfere with my planed enjoyment of Cowboy Junkies at around that time.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Say, didn't I already threaten you about this?

and wait a second - what's all this about a T-dot clique that can't be stopped... I didn't miss another memo did I?

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 02:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole ROCKS.

The Toronto clique is based around this fact: KIM HATES US ALL.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Not equally though - there's only so much hate to give.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

What clique am I in?

― James Blount, Tuesday, 14 January 2003 03:17 (twenty-two years ago)

We are a movement fueled by Kim's whip upon our back, destroying all in our wake.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 03:25 (twenty-two years ago)

!!!

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 03:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Just be glad you left before the whip came out.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I know I promised to wear vinyl to the next fap, but it gets very crunchy in the cold weather - or uh, so I hear. You may have to live with disappointment.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 03:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll bring my blowdrier if that helps.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, so that's how you get that Farrah Fawcett look!

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Only with your scarf.
Sadly my hair is short once again.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

destroying all in our wake.

I hope you actually meant PATH here. Your way makes it sound as if we all ate horrible, gassy things at lunchtime.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

mmmmm, Lamb Vindaloo Special (on Fridays) at Taste of India.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

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