ILE Chain Story

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Right, everyone contributes a chunk of story involving all the ILEers, and you have to wait for 2 other people to post before you can post again. If two people respond to the same chunk, the loose ends have to be tied up. And keep it nice.

I'll start:

Ally [you choose which one] finally cracks and out of pure frustration arranges a date with the boy Hanle y. Mike arrives first, looking shockingly dapper in a tux, bow tie, monocle, cane, and stilettos, and carrying a...

Nice, I tell you.

― Graham, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

n uzi. Hanle y explains the blood over his outfit as a quick slaughter on the way to the bottle, and goes to put his violin case in the cuboard, only to find that Anthony...

― Geoff, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

had rearranged the contents of the cupboard, leaving no space for the violin case! Panicing Mike exclaimed "a plague on both your houses!"..."tart" replied Ally!...at that moment the phobe rang, it was...

― jel, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

a homophobe

― Ronan Fitzgerald, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anthony proceded to hang up. Looking over his right shoulder Ally and Mike Hanle y were committing acts of medioccore obscenity with

― anthony, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anthony proceded to hang up. Looking over his right shoulder Ally and Mike Hanle y were committing acts of mediocore obscenity with

― anthony, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fruit

― Ronan Fitzgerald, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Loops.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The very Fruit Loops that were purchased by Otis Wheeler. "Don't eat all the cereal, the hippies are coming by later", he warned when...

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

he was a younger man and had cared to campaign for justice for all hippies, however older and more disillusioned he now wished to

― Ronan Fitzgerald, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

eradicate all hippies. "they are the bane of my existence," he'd say, "hippies and..."

― fred solinger, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

friends and countrymen, I apologise for the grammatical error I just made when I inserted that extra and, lend me your

― Ronan Fitzgerald, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Green tea!"

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

With a final juddering belch Otis strode up to the lovemakers and dashed the Fruit Loops to the floor. "Perverts!" he thundered. "You shall pay for these crimes!" Turning on his heel, he lifted up the...

― Sam, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

telephone reciever and speed dialled the local vicarage "Father Peters, he said, Yes, Sex before marriage. yes, yes, no its much worse than that, there were fruit loops, yes i did shout perverts, yes, yes, i see, you'll be right over" Otis was in a rage, it wasn't so much the sex with fruit loops as the...........

― Ronan Fitzgerald, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...Britney Spears CDs only to find that the Turbonegro ones were missing. "Where are my fucking CDs?" he said, though not really angrily, he expected this. "I have them", bellows a voice from the back as in strides...

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(insert the words "were found" between the britney spears thing and the Turbonegro thing, my outlook came up and I didn't realize it while typing :P)

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the synonym for walks

― Ronan Fitzgerald, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The synonym said, "Hey, y'all!"

― Nude Spock, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"I don't know why I can talk", it continued, "since all I said when Ronan created me was strides, and when I say I said it, I mean I meant it, in a dormant passive sense, take me back, theres no place like home theres no place like home" It seemed this was a hopeless.....

― Ronan Fitzgerald, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...conversation, since you can't talk with synonyms anyhow, they are merely concepts. In light of this, Tom picked up the synonym and...

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

erased it with his magic erasy button. As it disappeared, a cry was heard: "But I'm from another dimension...."

― Nude Spock, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...just like Nick Dastoor!"

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...and then the cat puked furballs on everyone and was shot by Hanle y. Animal Activists were outraged. Anthony places several calls but goes off on several tangeants on:

What it is like to be queer. What it is like to own a cat for queer culture. What artists were queer.

And proceeds to read several lines of very bad poetry. The animal activitists proceed to set up a small shanty town.

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ally (or L.E.) sings to the animal activists in the shanty town, defending their rights to squat and wear dreadlocks and the youth revolution take her up as a heroine, reviving her moribund career as a starlet diva/manic fan with the biggest desk.

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Her tearful version of "Don't Cry for Me Mike Hanley" goes to number one. Across the clubs her mournful voice is heard as a youth nation compells her to write a book "No Mike Hanley" explaining how Mike Hanley has slowly taken control of the world through his own personal logo.

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And thus doompatrol was sentenced to an imprisoned state similar to that of the three villains in the Superman movie whereby his deceitful narration could be heard on the cries of the wind, but no utterance of creation came to pass. His efforts became fruitless and he wept and was ignored forevermore.

― Nude Spock, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Only to be reincarnated as the supersassy L.E.'s efficient P.A.

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In his own world where only he existed and nobody cared.

― Nude Spock, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

L.E.'s causes a shock when her book is made into a movie and she sings "DCFMMH" dressed only in leopard skin (a fashion craze which sweeps across the nation) and wearing a black ribbon symbolizing her love for Richey Manic. AT the end of the song she cries out: "Free Richey Manic".....as only Mike Hanle y knows his whereabouts..

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

?
THE END
?

― Nude Spock, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Until L.E. upstages J. Lo during her Saturday Night Live guest appearance and runs off with new boytoy M. Didd y....

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...who is actually Richey in disguise.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

L.E. rips off the masque off of J. Lo....and underneath is a mascaraed up Richey...

"I just wanted the money....L.E....damn you and your super sassy ways".....

But what effect does this have on L.E? Her mortal enemy J.Lo actually being Richey Manic? Does If you want my love, now, a sad pleading for love or a P.Diddy song?

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well now you fucked up the story, we already established that M. Diddy is Richey Manic, you twat. That's the end of this thread. Bastard. It was going so well with the cereal and the fact that it was entirely about me, too.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

said Ally until she realized that Richey Manic clones are everywhere, hiding behind every face and every mask, including her own. Thus, narcissism and Richey obsession fused neatly.

― Lyra, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But in reality it wasnt Richey, it was evil J. Lo trying to crackdown on L.E. by making her think that there were two Richeys and that she was the real Richey............

M. Diddy being the real richey and J. Lo being the false Richey designed to send you spiralling into confusion, xanax and Ben Affleck arms.

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But Ben Affleck is already dating Emma!

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh no! Then that means that the Evil J. Lo/Richey Manic wanted you to be break them up! Why?

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Because he was evil, and thats what evil people do.

Many years past but the strange events of that day were never forgotten. They were stored inside the large belly of a strange beast name Glof who would only speak of the day that the Pinketron would unviel the secrets behind that day...Glof did say "Be mindful of the one called..."

― jel, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the pinefox."

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

and pinefox came out from behind the bushes and cried out:

"Listen to "Don't get weird on me babe" it's a masterpiece" and mysteriously faded into the background...

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

where it was light, where the Pinketron supposedly resided, nothing. For the Pinketron was a being of pure thought and only one person could ever bring the Pinketron into existence, that person being...

― jel, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hanle y...

― doomiee, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"I will get my revenge against that L.E. tart!" he exclaims while bathing his pet lemur. "I will..."

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...masturbate!

*cue: gay porn funk music*

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Ugh, we can't listen to this", shouts Solinger in the back. He gets up to change the music, but then...

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...looks longingly at Hanle y and wonders how much power can one man possess....and calls out for.....

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...some sake.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Then Hanle y showed off this orange prickle nipple and Ally was ashamed that

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...she didn't have a knife on her to cut it off. Instead, she had a hammer, with which she...

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

beat on her P.A...

― doomie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

until geoff caaried out, that's my prince albeert" and took his wunded penis off to...

― Geoff, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the Pinketron, who had materialized out of the lining of a second hand leather jacket. "I will heal your wounds" it said without speaking. The ceiling collapsed, the world imploded. We were all less than an atom for a while. But, someone turned back on the switch and we were back at the beginning of the story...

― jel, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...filling up on beans and collectively stinking up the place.

― Nude Spock, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ten months pass...

Fuck U.S.A.

― Leumas Sednugaf, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

...said the bumper sticker on Green Leafy's car. Momus saw this and....

― Christine "Green Leafy" Indigo, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

U.S.A. = Urban Sassy Allyies

― vic, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

immediately grabbed the U.S.A. squad and hustled them onto a cross- North America bus. Momus spent the trip explaining to the Allys why personal cars were wrong.

The group got off in Orange County, California, where they took refuge in the ILX safe house that Ned Raggett and Brian McDonald were running...

― j.lu, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

into the ground by wantonly ignoring court injunctions and racking up fines for..

― Matt, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

criminally depraved failure to pay mullet surtaxes, retroactive to 1987. Just then, the sound of Kev

― felicity, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

...in Shields pulling up to the house to play a free concert was heard, a concert which took care of all of Ned's worries forever and ever, amen.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Chapter 2: Tracer Hand was typing at his computer when....

― Christine "Green Leafy" Indigo, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

suddenly the emergency hotline rang...It was Ned!

"Tracer, we have a problem, they're back"

"oh no! fite! oh no!" replied tracer, whilst quickly hitting the alarm system at ILX HQ...

Messages flashed up on the screens of the ILX League of Legendary Posters all over the world.

"Esrk atsy can tractor! Tart" exclaimed Mike Hanle y...

― jel --, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mark s was reading his message with detached amusement when he hears some noises downstairs. He leaves the room and looks down the stairwell,spying Ally C at the bottom "I'm worn oot after playing fitba," says Ally C between breaths, "I could realla do with some Prune and Armagnac ice crim!". CJ overhears this from the kitchen (she'd popped in to borrow a cup of sugar). "We do a really good Prune and Armagnac over at my virtual bar!" she shouts. "Why don't we all head over there right now.....?

― MarkH, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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