Sucide

ouch - it sux, there's no words, it hurts. an dmajor dud.

A close friend of mine killed himself accidently building some homeade pyrotechnics for his theater job. He was standing 75 feet away and a small peice of shrapnel peirced his aorta. Docs said if it had gone half an inch either way he would have been okay.

I don't know, it's sad to hear, I'm sorry, Anthony. I can understand the exact whys though - what do you mean a mission?

A Mormon mission, I'm guessing -- the two year period in which all true believers are supposed to go and spread the faith. Based on some of the stories I've read about the actual experience -- I'll recommend exmormon.org again -- there's a huge amount of tension, paranoia and just plain degrading work involved. Who knows what that had to do with Anthony's friend, though -- I am truly sorry to hear of it.

Yeah, people want to die. I have a few friends that have made attempts or were committed for their own safety. I used to really think about IT, which is odd, seeing how things turn around completely. The thinking that goes on in my head is nothing like what it used to be.

"The problem [does not equal] the solution. The solution = Let it be", as Crispin Glover once said. In other words, things are not this bad because it necessarily should be this way or because this is how it will always be, things are just this bad. A solution is around the corner and things tend to work out naturally. Have you ever heard "what you resist persists"? It's important to understand the uselessness of wallowing in sadness, rather than the focusing on the futility of existence because existence is not futile, afterall. It really is a decision to be happy. So, don't let this incident get you too far down. You don't need to feel sorry for him because he's not here to feel sorry for. And you don't have to fell sorry for yourself because your happiness is not dependent upon his existence or his happiness.

Hope that didn't sound preachy. It's really how I see it, though. I'm pretty sure a few friends are going to off themselves and I've thought about it plenty. It doesn't make me sad anymore.

A close friend of mine killed himself accidently building some homeade pyrotechnics for his theater job.
This sounds very similar to how a family friend (a famous artist) also accidently killed himself. Saddest thing.

Someone at work recently killed himself. 'Work' is a huge company and I didn't know him, but I'd seen him around. A quiet, middle-aged bloke, kept himself to himself but a nice guy, you could tell.
Then one morning last week he got up, fed his cat, ate his packed lunch sandwiches his wife had prepared for him the night before then he hanged himself from the upstais bannister.
I don't understand it. I don't understand what drives people to take those final steps, knowing they'll be soon walking into the strange unknown.

Someone very close to me did something very similar, and I still don't know exactly why, and it's the most maddening thing in the world, the fact that I never will know, ever.

I hate to bring this up here, but have any of the UK posters seen Roni Horn's Black Water photos? Exellent essay on suicide in the Thames river.