you're omnipotent

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Now what are you going to do?

Is it a gift or a burden?

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Probably fuck around on my computer, like I always do.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks for the compliment, Melissa, but I'm really not.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Wait so what exactly are my powers? I know everything, or do I have any extrodinary abilities?

― Sean (Sean), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Is it like I'm "Q"?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Can you switch it off? If yes, gift. If not, horrible burden.

― fractal (fractal), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Melissa, does being all-powerful include being all-knowing? Because that would change things.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, in any case, I'd do nothing immediately... I'd just change things if they came along and it seemed like it needed changing.

A few things though, I'd never work again.... infinite money in my account all the time. Also, I'd cast an RPG type spell to make people less likely to procreate, but do it at a more relaxed pace.
And I'd cast a similar spell to prevent people from knowing I'm behind all this omnipotence, and treat me normally (i.e. not ask me for omnipotent favors all the time)

Eventually, I'd likely get more abusive, pervy, and evil as I went along; but at least, I'd wait.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Knowledge is power => omnipotence includes omniscience. Or possibly vice versa.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Power is not knowledge, Martin. Viz: any toddler.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:31 (twenty-three years ago)

If you're omnipotent, then it stops you doing anything. I should know. You'd eventually just laze around. What would be the point of doing anything? Anything you did, you could reverse, for starters. Or double. Where's the satisfaction? Quite quickly the novelty wears off.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:41 (twenty-three years ago)

yep, thats God alright

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 22:45 (twenty-three years ago)

If I were omnipotent I'd create ersatz "meat" and "dairy" products that tasted EXACTLY as yummy as the real thing, so carnivores could get their way and not harm any beasties. Also I'd create a cigarette that had a similar rush and satisfaction to tobacco, but without any of the health risks or foul smells. I would also create my own treasury and print billions of dollars to disburse to people who need it and deserve it.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:03 (twenty-three years ago)

If I was omnipotent, I'd just get fed up and quit.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:08 (twenty-three years ago)

I suppose if I were omnipotent and all-knowing, I'd fix whatever problems I perceived in the world then render myself not-omnipotent (semipotent?). Per many deists, what happens afterward is precisely the history of humankind.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:11 (twenty-three years ago)

If I were omnipotent, I'd create a way to harm beasties that didn't actually harm them, thus satisfying carnivores and PETA with one fell swoop.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Cows could offer you tasty selections of their innards which would then spontaneously re-grow. And they'd do it with a smile.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Ha yes, I'd make life resemble Douglas Adams' books!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd give my powers to the Dalai Lama or something so I wouldn't have to deal with it.

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I would also create my own treasury and print billions of dollars to disburse to people who need it and deserve it.

...and then inflation kicks in.

I'd actually feel no need whatsoever to even attempt to fix the problems of the world at large or help anyone. I'd probably just sit on my selfish ass.

Also, does being omnipotent mean that I would live forever? In which case: massive dud.

― , Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:19 (twenty-three years ago)

WHHHOOOOOO!! 1st order of business-NO MORE WORK!!Everything is free!!! Sex,drugs,rock and roll and a chilled Jagermeister shot dispenser for everyone!! Hey all,lets go record shopping(we won't have to pay for them, they're free)and get giant martini's from the endless open bars!!WHHHOOOOOO!!

― brg30 (brg30), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:19 (twenty-three years ago)

ooh wait before i gave it to the dalai lama i'd, um, have someone "donate" enough money to pay for my college tuition, plus some broadway tickets.

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, the people I would tortuously kill. And don't lie, you all have your own candidates.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:33 (twenty-three years ago)

No Ned, It would be much more fun keeping them alive....Baahaahaa

― brg30 (brg30), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:34 (twenty-three years ago)

!!!

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Is omnipotence like priapism? If so, probably dud after a while.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:38 (twenty-three years ago)

No Ned, It would be much more fun keeping them alive

Not necessarily.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 8 January 2003 23:48 (twenty-three years ago)

If you're omnipotent, that means you can be omnipresent too?

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Thursday, 9 January 2003 03:00 (twenty-three years ago)

1. Go into the parking lot. Toss cars into one another with my mind, causing havoc and shrieking, but no death.
2. Fly.
3. Resurrect Grandma.
4. Do lots of normally fatal/dangerous things, so I have good stories later.
5. Hell, resurrect a lot of other nice people.
6. Remove my cousin's disability. Then think about it a while and restore everybody who's disabled.
7. Visit other planets, see if anybody's there.
*
*
*
*
Many other steps, ending with this one:
• Restore former status to self but set specific date in future on which I am certain to die. Armed with this knowledge, go out into world and make the most of it.

― Tom Millar (Millar), Thursday, 9 January 2003 03:08 (twenty-three years ago)

i like that list. i'd want to resurrect my dog too.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Thursday, 9 January 2003 04:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Um, move to a little cottage in France with a big wine cellar and some animals and a river nearby where I can go canoeing, and it's very sunny all the time and be content and have everyone else be content too.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 9 January 2003 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd create another omnipotent being and then AARGH PARADOX PARADOX

― B.Rad (Brad), Thursday, 9 January 2003 10:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I misread the title of this thread as "You're impotent", and then wondered why anyone would ask if this was a gift or a burden.

Not that I'm impotent or anything. ha ha ha, perish the thought.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 9 January 2003 13:08 (twenty-three years ago)

I wouldn't even care. Those kinds of powers would be useless to me.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 9 January 2003 13:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I would rig the lottery so that I would win.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 9 January 2003 14:27 (twenty-three years ago)

i would bring m.b. back to life and make him perform to me all day and night. i fail to see how this could be burdensome.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 9 January 2003 14:34 (twenty-three years ago)

wiiiiiilmaaaa!!

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 9 January 2003 14:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Not anymore, the nice doctor wrote me a viagra prescription.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 9 January 2003 15:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Competent would do me, thangyouverymuch....

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Thursday, 9 January 2003 15:22 (twenty-three years ago)

First thing I'd create would be a Superman costume for me, obviously.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 9 January 2003 20:19 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...

I've been thinking about this again. I'm serious. What would you do? Things that are altruistic or selfish? You can literally delete humanity or save the world. Do you end world hunger? How? Do you make sure that there are enough resources to provide for everyone, or do you eliminate the biological necessity to eat? Do you make the person you are in love with fall in love with you, or do you create someone better than them? Do you make governments perfect, or do you make people so that they are in no need of government? Do you worry about the fate of art in a perfect world? Do you want to create perfection? Would there be an internet, or would people be able to connect enough with the people around them that there would be no need?

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Monday, 24 March 2003 10:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Ummm, there are already enough resources for everyone to eat adequately, but they're imperfectly distributed.

I'm a little surprised by people upthread going on about printing their own money, winning the lottery and stuff. I mean, it's not like an omnipotent being needs money, hmmm? You could make the world lovely for people and completely eradicate money. Woohoo barter only in beautiful life-enriching objects, because we would all live off magical milk and honey.

This would, however, require alteration in the psychological human being, so that everyone could be happy without screwing other individuals over/feeling good without unhappiness of others to contrast against. And I'm not sure any great art/fun would continue to be made without misery (look at happy hippies and their dreadful tie-dye), so I'd probably fail to do anything in the end, and be a rubbish omnipotent being, really.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 24 March 2003 10:32 (twenty-three years ago)

But Liz, happy hardcore is great!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 24 March 2003 18:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd make everyone else omnipotent too. Same conflicts, but it'd be like Clash of the Titans on every streetcorner.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Monday, 24 March 2003 18:30 (twenty-three years ago)

burden. would be paralyzed with boredom or frustration.

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Monday, 24 March 2003 18:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Is no one as interested in the idea of this as I am?

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 25 March 2003 06:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think anyone is misanthropic enough to delete humanity, esp. if they have power to fix it right easy. In my case I'd give *everone* replicators, a forcefield around each other so they can't kill, then set off to try to find all Mike Allred comix.

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 25 March 2003 07:55 (twenty-three years ago)

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