Are single women in their late twenties jaded and bitter?

The single men I know are all very jolly about it, at least outwardly.

I think movies and books - at least the ones I read/see - put a huge on emphasis on these almost-30s women freaking out about still being single and not having their lives all together.

Mostly I don't feel that way about my life, but sometimes that insecurity does creep in and I start to feel like "Oh My god! I'm gonna die soon!" Then I think, "No, wait. I'm still really young. I'm just being moody."

I think women get more a lot more cautious about sex and relationships as they get more experienced (usually from mid-20's and early 30's), because they've learned what does and doesn't make them happy; or at least what doesn't make them happy.

You have no idea how true the 'outwardly' part is.

Or maybe it wouldn't :(

I think its normal to have your guard up after you've gone through the pain of a break-up or have been on the other end of betrayal, but my friend says that most women he meets seem to still bear grudges against some ex 'great love' and make unfair assumptions that he will behave the same way. They seems fine for the first few dates, but then it all starts to surface - the comparisons, the grumbling etc

Either that, or they have morphed into Super Career Woman who has no time for dating. He can't seem to win.

i have a couple of friends in leeds that have had traumatic experiences, which i cant really go into on here

why do you think i like Doves in the first place?!

MUCH easier said than done, believe me. But there is a very small number of single women out there who want to immediately satisfy some guy's dream of bearing 2.4 children. And I'd hate for this guy to become so seriously depressed trying to accomplish this rather difficult goal.

OTM DB!! Have you ever thought about becoming a call in radio show host. It would be much better than Frasier.......

*mellifluously* Whatever works best for you.

HAW HAW

(she cackled, "bitterly")

NEway, I know lots of chicks in this age bracket (actually, more who are a bit further into their 30's) who really, really want a relationship but all the guys they meet are just losers.

anyway I've done all facets of the relationship thing, including marriage, and am not too anxious to get that house, volvo, kiddos. I'll pass on all that. Dammit, give me Antartica!

Personally, just coming off what began as an amazing relationship and ended in total "blargh!"ness, I'm quite jaded on the whole male/female "game", mostly because it seems that everyone wants it to be a "game".

I don't mean I don't like having fun in relationships, I mean I don't like people playing each other on jealousy and revenge and all that horsepucky just to entertain themselves or fill some hole in their life. I like honesty and shit like that, being open and REAL with each other, not this "oh, I won't call you for three days, and I'll have sex with your best friend, then I'll come over and see if you still love me" putting-me-through-a-test type BS.

I'm bitter about having people tell me over the years that it shouldn't be so important to me, that's all.

Oh, and I agree with nickalicious. I. HATE. MIND. GAMES.

NS: can we call the Mind Games Act 2004 Nick's Law?

haha if you think 'single women in their late twenties' are j&b you just haven't met enough married men of the same age....

The classic marketing formula. But of course women can't go out and buy a man; instead the media subtly urges them to buy clothes and cosmetics and weight-loss regimens. No wonder certain segments of the media love Bridget Jones-type images of women.

But don't you also get tired of people who exhaust every ounce of energy they have to getting themselves into a relationship?? There are some of my firends that I just have to keep my distance from because thats all their life consists of...

Speaking as someone who had to live with the fucking KING of mind-games...

Anyway, before I come off all bitter and jaded (and there's a very good reason for that bitterness).

I don't understand mindgames. It's almost like men expect the freaking game-playing - if you are actually HONEST with men, it scares the shit out of them and makes them run a million miles faster than anything. I have so much trouble because I'm too honest in relationships, I don't know what NOT to say...

I haven't had to deal with a lot of heavy duty game playing, partly because I simply haven't had to "deal with" much of a love life; but also, if someone seems to be really unreliable that way, I simply lose interest. I am pretty cautious as it is. I filter a lot of people out.

But the kind of honesty I'd appreciate is being able to say to someone/be told "Hey, I dig you" without all the fucking shit and stupidity.

I agree. Too much intimacy = boredom. Divorce rates have skyrocketed of late. Life expectancys has also risen. Concidence? I think not.

But maybe I'm just jaded and bitter; I don't think that relationships are a "major part of life" at all. I certainly hope not though, as I'm nowhere near 30.

nothing should by its very essence have to be a major part of life

I propose we brand all the Mind Game lovers with some sort of Mark of the Beast upon their foreheads, so as to say to any prospective non-Mind Gamer crushors "LOOK OUT! I WILL LIE TO YOU AND CHEAT ON YOU TO TEST YOU!", so as to avoid SO MUCH unnecessary conflict.

I actually agree with this.

i'm with rockist, i'm touchy about people giving me shit for thinking relationships are important. especially since i just recently stopped giving myself shit for it. and for people saying, 'you should learn to be happy on your own without some guy' (ironic since i'm hardly ever with some guy) man! c'mon. i should be able to be happy with no job, no goals, no home, or no friends too but i'm just not that all-powerful.

i have a theory about this kind of bitterness though. the thinking i guess being that if i obsess about this enough and come up with a correct theory and recite it aloud, my ugly bitterness will melt away to reveal a golden treasure of positivity, boundless romanticism, and light-hearted happiness.

i just think there is such a chasm between male and female desires and expectations. and it's not just the biological clock. though it is mostly stereotypes and generalizations, one can argue stereotypes and generalizations are there because they fit often. the biggest problem being that men can generally have sex without emotion and women largely can't. they try for a while and realize (by their late 20's) it's painful and/or depressing. this coincides with growing sexual awareness and desire. which just leads to frustration. sex is obviously a huge pre-occupation and motivator for most people, but this gets inextricably connected to 'relationship' for a lot of women knowing sex with no relationship often brings more trouble and little to no actual pleasure. however good relationships are hard to come by so they will either fuck indiscriminately and feel bitter and envious of how men can do it so easy (heavens! they can even buy it from people they don't know!). or else they will try to fabricate a relationship based around the desire to fuck someone. i don't think this is just socialization either and not wanting to be called a slut, or else this dilemma would've been so conveniently swept away by feminism, which is what everyone hoped (though it seems to have only made it more confusing - leading men to believe women are always comfortable, aware, and rational about hookups, and leading women to think they should be able to do this since they are strong, independent, sexual, and liberated). but there seems to be biology behind it - oxytocin, etc. i've often heard guys say 'it's so easy for girls, if you want sex you can go anywhere and get it instantly'. though i guess you can say 'it's so easy for guys, every girl is like a ready-willing relationship'.

but that's just a theory.

God, this is so OTM it hurts. This whole paragraph is so OTM it hurts. I spent a long time trying, but never got it right.

I never thought I *had* to be in a relationship, but I did want sex and/or physical intimacy. And always got entangled and very hurt.

Oh god, I think perhaps I should go back and read my old answers on this thread.