ESCAPE FROM FREEDOM a novel by ILx

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David shivered in the cold, dark, darkness of the sewers. He knew that in minutes he would either be free or discovered by the hardline snooperhounds of the AC Police. In some ways he wanted the latter. At least for a bried moment, an hour or so, they would enforce some rules on him, if he was lucky they may even man-handle him. Then of course he would be thrown into the Re-Con camps and forced in that nice way the Liberals had to embrace the freedom he was born with. At least here, in the sewer, he could live like a rat - with all the ways of the rat.

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

A sharp voice cut through the darkness.

"We know you're down there, Q!"

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:04 (twenty-two years ago)

The swimming rat barely had time to respond before being cleft in twain by the sharpness of the voice, which pierced his pleading persona like paramedics would a pallid pimento.

― Tony Shed, Friday, 10 January 2003 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

It was Betty Angel and Silas McKinley, fugitives or freedom fighters depending on your point of view. David Q didn't really like either of them, as they were typical of the sort of band wagon freedom fighters that had cropped up since the Techno-Corp war had begun. "Oh not those two" he thought to himself, "I'd rather be totured that have to spend even a minute with them, I'll have to shoot the fuckers". But, it was far too late for that, as Betty had already spotted David in the shadows.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

A shot rang out.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hey Silas!" quipped the almost-amorous Angel. "It's that Hank Marvin fella! If I shoot at his legs, will he do his funny walk?"

She attempted to confirm this theorem by aiming her Baretta squarely between doomed David's languid legs and firing off a spontaneous paradiddle of bullet parades. Disappointingly she noted that David's jejeune jerks were more akin to those of the lead singer of the famous 1980s "soul" group Bogshed.

Taking quick advantage of her disappointment, he quickly wrestled the Baretta from her tremolo arm and shot her cleanly between the eyes.

"That'll teach you to deny me my Kafkaesque self-enclosure," he snarled through teeth gnarled.

― Tony Shed, Friday, 10 January 2003 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"we want to help you escape" said Silas "I'm a great fan of your work", the pair stood over David, both kitted out in the latest hi-tech weapons and body armour, it was a wonder they could walk at all. "Look, just get lost, I don't need your help, it's people like you I wanna get away from".

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Silas was playing with his damn weapon again. Q stopped, with resignation.
"Hi Davey" Betty said, running her rough-as fuck hands down his tight shaven chin. "You trying something?"
"Yeah, cos if you are we want in on it," Silas said with a voice that always remind David of spoiled brat with larengytis. Which to all intents and purposes Silas was.
"I'm getting out of this hell hole,' David started. "Your supposed to be freedom fighters. GO back and fight freedom. Me, I'm escaping."

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

It was a particular wonder that Betty was able to walk or talk, as she had just been fatally shot by the pseudo-Shadow. But this did not deter staunch Silas, who repeatedly rammed his Kalashnikov butt into David's head in raucous rhythm while teaching him some basic lessons: "DO! NOT! END! A! SENTENCE! WITH! A! PREPOSITION! IS! THAT! CLEAR!"

"Groooogh," David quipped.

― Tony Shed, Friday, 10 January 2003 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Meanwhile, twenty-five geeks all attempted to submit their continuation of an on-line novelization simultaneously, thus crashing the Interweb.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"But freedom roXXor!" hollered Silas.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

there conversation was cut short by an explosion, David took this as chance to escape from the bizarre couple...

"where'd he go?" stammered Silas, these were his last words as a bullet caught him square between the eyes. "Fool, you let him get away" came the cold voice from special AC police agent Betty Angel.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

"Coarse varlet, you blabber the despoiled tillage of illusory sub-Dunbar sociolingual sewage," quipped David. "Were freedom to encapsulate the wish to converse in such a limp langoustini of a language, better that I immerse my fat to boil your bleached balminess to Bedlam. HERE'S WHAT I THINK OF YOUR KITTENS!" he ejaculated as he quickly picked up seven and had them for his tea, ensuring a quick but hygienic roast in the Aga which he had rushed out and bought.

― Tony Shed, Friday, 10 January 2003 12:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Betty Angel had a chequered past - she too had once wished to not be free.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:27 (twenty-two years ago)

But it had all come to nought, since some ten or so posts back her skull had been split as surely as the previous sentence's infinitive.

― Tony Shed, Friday, 10 January 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Angel's boss gazed down her paperwork like an NFT-full of French cineastes substituting Juliette Binoche's arse for her art.

"Doll," he leered, "ain't no run-on sentence like a run on death sentence."

Angel sighed. Her boss was as dumb as an Indian elephant denied a trunk call.

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:30 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm glad I bought my android double with me on this mission" thought Betty

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:30 (twenty-two years ago)

But that was the Raelian's cloned Betty Angel. The 'real' Betty Angel was busy selling Agas to free people.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

However, in Eirog Keep Latheranehtal continued plotting, knowing these pawns would fall neatly into his traps...

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Mused David idly, "this isn't as good as the S&M on last night's Buffy."

― Tony Shed, Friday, 10 January 2003 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

As his enemies battled amongst themselves, and came back from the beyond. David, our hero, had now made it to the great forest of tyres.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"will you be my friend?" asked the cute little blue mouse.

"no, I'm escaping from freedom, I don't have time" replied David

"you are mean and evil, I'm going to tell my ma and pa" and with that the blue mouse disappered in a puff of smoke.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Suddenly, in front of David, a very large and menacing cute blue mouse appeared. "gulp"

"why won't you be friends with my son?"

"er..."

Suddenly, an AC police skimmer flew over the forest.

"why didn't you just say you were escaping from them" shouted the cute blue mouse as he swotted the skimmer out of the air and stomped up and down on the pilot "I hates these fellas too!"

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

and that's how you escape form freedom!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Balls to escaping form freedom, we're happy with our mutable, ever-changing shapes, we want to escape FROM freedom!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(d'oh haha!)

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 10 January 2003 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"We're Devo fans!"

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 10 January 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Elsewhere, it was still a dark and stormy night.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 January 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Deep in the bowels of the Darth Vader Building, DaVaCo's Melvin Katzenschlaeger, was shredding financial documents as quickly as his wife, several miles away, was shedding her undergarments.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 10 January 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon!!

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 10 January 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

The sound of the pirates was grimey and like nothing anyone had ever heard before.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 10 January 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

The Evil Sexual Chocolate was ready to mount Melvins wife, when he took off her panties he discovered she did not have a vagina but rather a mouth with fangs.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 10 January 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Ok, that last one's just scary.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

...said Melvin, looking at FY2001's sales figures. Suddenly, a pirate burst into the room!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

and took a dump on Melvins sales figures.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

So the Evil Sexual Chocolate says to the mouth with fangs:

"Give me a blow-job, and try not to bite."

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

And the evil fanged vagina-mouth said "I am the walrus."

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

That's quite enough.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Said the sexual chocolate, "I've never been into The Beatles - consider yourself dumped."

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

The knife whizzed in mid-air. They all stared, as if transfixed by poison of the soul.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Brett Michaels sang Knock On Wood as if his life depended on it.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Meanwhile, there was a large supernatural explosion in the forest of tyres. If one would look up in the heart of this movement of mass many blue mice, green trees, and bloody pirate figures could be seen. The event cause a spaghetti tangle of DNA and matter and energy. The way this explosioned place the large tree truncks in mid air cause deafeningly loud whistling sounds to be shot off in all directions. I could be heard both deep in the Darth Vader Building, and up high in Melvin's apartment at the other end of the city. It caused Melvin, his wife, the sexual chocolate, and the creepy man outside the widow with a video camera to stop and listen.
David was the only one to avoid this because he was encased in a bubble with writting on it that said "the freedom stopper"

― A Nairn (moretap), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"where did you find that bubble" the android of Betty said in a low gargled voice.David looked over and saw a twisted mass of machinery with wires dangling and lights blinking. He frantically struggled to roll off.

― A Nairn (moretap), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

On the yellow the hill the parsley engaged with motor boats twisting gorge on cheese with nine whole lemons and a tin can automobile, Jenny got a block away before she realised she wa s donkey. Fourteen lesbian monkeys and a gymnast in the Chrysler building, BINGO BINGO BINGO!

"Marti Pellow would not be undone this time, you fiend, and what's more, he has no plans to be ostracised into being a Jewish lapdancer either!" bellowed Frederick Forsythe from the safety of his arctic pillow, as all around him wildebeast, minnows, quick quick, rage against the dying of the blight, technophobes they had no phones in Montreal with kippers and a fine fandango. Damn and blast the mineral water business cards.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

The flock of surveillance pigeons on the terrace outside Katzenschlaeger's office cooed and headjerked their report on what they saw Katzenschlaeger shred. The Godpigeon and an escort of seven young males spread their wings and took off in the direction of the Financial District.

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 10 January 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

They flew through a cloud.

― A Nairn (moretap), Friday, 10 January 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

---CHAPTER TWO---

Her eyes were the colour of dead Welshmen.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 10 January 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

and her ass was the size of a frigate.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 10 January 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"You are the Weakest Link, piss off," she mumbled...

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 January 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Even though Suzy Andromeda Plaintov was tired, she wanted to run from Deddy, his eyes being so dead Welshman-like.

"Eat my fuc," she mumbled.

"What?" he yelled.

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Friday, 10 January 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

CHAPTER THREE:

Johnny Bongo grinned like a wolf as the other man slowly tongued his scrotum. Buzz was a beatnik - last of a dead breed - he came at life like a gazelle and Johnny was the hunter, his shotgun filled with love pellets to bring down this fawn of plenty. "Damn, it's good to be the surf champion of the world..." thought Johnny, in his most private mental space, as the frantic action of Buzz's lips continued its erotic path.

Then David entered the frame.

― Vic Fluro (Al Ewing), Saturday, 11 January 2003 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"You are all a bunch of freaks."

― That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 11 January 2003 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"F R E A K S, freaks"

― A Nairn (moretap), Saturday, 11 January 2003 07:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"sorry to interrupt, freaks, but could i borrow some flour?"

― dyson (dyson), Saturday, 11 January 2003 08:45 (twenty-two years ago)

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