Can I just quote this particularly noteworthy entry in full?
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Customer Reviews
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Number of Reviews: 505
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The Bestest of David Hasselhoff, January 7, 2003
Reviewer: A music fan from Caracas, Venezuela The Sex Pistols may have been the first British punk rock band, but David Hasselhoff was the definitive German punk rocker. Where the Pistols were nihlistic, David Hasselhoff was fiery and idealistic, charged with righteousness and a centrist political ideology. From the outset, he was more musically adventurous, expanding his smooth mellow rock & roll with reggae, dub, rap and rockabilly among other roots musics. Furthermore, he was blessed with exceptional songwriters each with a distinctive voice and style.
Hasselhoff copped heavily from classic outlaw imagery, positioning himself as a rebel with a talking car. As a result, he won a passionately devoted following on both sides of the Atlantic. While he became a rock & roll hero in Europe, second only to the Culture Club in terms of popularity, it took him several years and multiple television series to break into the American market and when he finally did in 1991, he imploded several months later.
Though Hasselholff never became the superstar he always threatened to become, he restored passion and protest to rock & roll. For a while, he really did seem like "the only singer that mattered."
The Song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
Hazid Splatterboff?!? Hell yeah!, January 6, 2003
Reviewer: Caja Googoo from bellevue, wa United States This latest work of genius from Woozid Tinkleborf refreshes like a morning dump! It might stink, and maybe even hurt a bit, but the end result is a euphoria produced by a splendidly simple vacuousness. Emptiness can be sooo deep!
I had the pleasure of interviewing Hassid Daveldopf whille he was streaking through the monkey dome in the San Diego zoo. Though slightly distracted by the handfuls of fresh dung being flung at him by the people viewing the exhibit, he was able to answer a few of my questions:
C: Who are you?
David: My bottom is plenty!
C: Can you name some artistic influnces on your recent cd?
David: I locked it in my binky-boopy.
C: Do you know where you are?
David: For many times now, I wonder," What makes me tick?", and then I remember. I eat watches! This goes to show that happiness and plentiness will not save you from E.O.A.B.C. L. (early onset adult bladder control losage), but you can't win them all. And hey, who am I? I am a man who likes waffles! Being on the dark side of a bad haircut for years can be quite liberating. We all get lonely for the touch of soggy things now and then, but just remember, I forget!
Well... there you have it.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
It's Hot in Hasselherre!, January 4, 2003
Reviewer: Dunn Jerginhoff from Yavin 4 Everybody has their favorite Hasselhoff song. Shoegazing emo lovers really dig "Crazy For You." Old metalband hairheads really seem to enjoy the aggro guitar in "Freedom For the World." And priests love "Boys." But the common thread throughout all these songs is Hasselhoff's soothing voice- a voice that many compare to a polar bear mauling a box of weasels.
Try this CD. You'll find a song that you like. I think my favorite has to be "Hot Shot City." There's something particularly good about that one.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
You don't have to be German to love him!, January 1, 2003
Reviewer: Palomar Haskey from Jedi temple, Coruscant Like a jukebox rolled in body hair, David Hasselhoff is a versatile, astounding performer whose range of songs cannot be denied. Each time he picks up a microphone, people everywhere groan with dread, because they all know too well that they are witnessing the finest musical experience of their lives and are ill-prepared to soak it in before that moment's gone forever. It's not surprising that many have compared hearing David Hasselhoff singing to having a death in the family.
And sure, he is showmanship. He is glitz. But even beyond that, he has substance. His songs have each been put on a stick and dipped in rich meaning. One should savor each song for a while, sucking on them until the nougat of their essence, the essence of their nougat, flow out.
Now I'm not exactly what you'd call a religious man. I have my background rooted in the cold, hard realities of science. But after witnessing David Hasselhoff throat out these 18 songs at a concert he held for flood victims in Switzerland with a voice that can be compared to a hippo stuck in a rusty beartrap, I do believe that a Hell exists.
The song Hot Shot City is particularly good.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
Like hair on a freshly-shaven chest, it grows on you, January 1, 2003
Reviewer: Ichni Sanchi from Lando's Palace At first listen, this album really doesn't seem all that special. Just a group of pretty songs strung together by a television actor's serviceable voice. But after the 347th time, you realize that the melodies laid within are astounding in their depth of meaning. Each song is a thread in a larger tapestry woven rich with underlying resonance. And the common link between all of these tales of woe and anthems about musk is David Passerchank's voice- a voice that brings to mind eight gophers being whipped by a squeaky ceiling fan.
Those of you who have not yet heard this album or have only heard it 50 or 60 times, please give it a chance to make a better impression on you. Only by letting go of all your standards and taste in music will this begin to satisfy.
The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
Achtung! Achtung! Der GENIUS of Herr Hasselhoff!!, December 31, 2002
Reviewer: Charles Henry Higgensworth III (see more about me) from Boston, Massachusetts Economic nationalists throughout the country shuddered when the Commerce Department announced a Q3 trade imbalance comfortably exceeding $100 billion, the highest on record. We buy our electronics from Japan, our confections from France, and our oil from the Persian Gulf. So why must we import the cream of our own culture from abroad? We don't store the Constitution in Germany. We don't launch the Space Shuttle from China. So why must we buy our Hasselhoff from distant foreign lands? Demand for this benchmark piece of Americana will surely send the trade economy reeling even closer to the abyss.
Its pending stupefying popularity notwithstanding, this is not an album without flaws, as flaws are inevitable when one takes on the impossible task of distilling Hasselhoff to a single disk. This is, after all, akin to reducing Aristotle to a lone pamphlet - nay, a matchbook cover. Because while this CD does include every Hasselhoff song that topped the charts in ninety countries or more, it was really the deep album work that made Hasselhoff synonymous with underground edge, incendiary lyrics, and youthful angst the world over. The poets who found their calling in the deeply nuanced lyrics of 1984's "Night Rocker" will be crestfallen to see that album underrepresented beyond its touchstone hits. Jungle-based rebels from Columbia to Burma who viewed 1989's "Looking for Freedom" as a clarion call to arms will be outraged that the entire second side of that inflammatory album is absent (with the inevitable exception of "Flying on the Wings of Tenderness"). And lovers who exchanged their lifetime vows to the ballads of "Crazy For You" will be devastated to see that only two of them are included here (even "I Wanna Move to the Beat of Your Heart" is inexplicably omitted!). However, the wounds gouged into our souls by these countless omissions are salved by the sweet succor of the eighteen songs that are included. All told, despite the travesties that come from reducing Hasselfhoff to a single disc, this is clearly one of the finest works in the entire oeuvre of human expression.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
They took my precious "Looking For" CD, December 31, 2002
Reviewer: Gollum from Middle Earth AND WE WANTS IT! The thieves, the filthy little thieves! They stole my Precious, and we wants it! We hates them.
The nasty hobbit wants us to gets him food, and we do gets it, yess, even though we hates him most, yesss, only because Master would get angry at us if we throttle him like we wants, curse them, gollum. How did we get involves with them, precious? David Hasselhoff's songs are too good, too precious for nasty hobbit ears. Bah!
I was following, following him, looking for my Hasselhoff import CD. Smeagol couldn't let it go. And I don't hate Master. Cruel hobbit Samwise yes, perhaps, but not the nice hobbit, no.
We hates them! Bagginses stole it, yess, stole our Precious he did. We hates all Bagginses.
Maybe cruel hobbit will throttle the Baggins while he sleeps, yesss precious. See how he reachesess to grab his head?
No, he's soft with Master, only touching his face he is. Sam won't hurt him ever. Smeagol knows, he sees the looks the hobbit gives Master. Smeagol remembers, yes, remembers what those looks mean. Wait, what's he saying?
"I love him. He's like that, and sometimes it shines through, somehow. But I love him, whether or no."
Ssss! Ssssss!
Ohh... My heart hurts.
Nasty hobbitses!
The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good".
― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Monday, 13 January 2003 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)