Talking on the phone

Like you, I have to be alone on the phone. I'll go to another room for the most mundane natter. Sometimes I'm on the phone when I'm alone in the house and my girlfriend will come back home so sudden and start saying things related to the phone conversation. I can't take it, I dunno what to do. Am I supposed to ignore her, or answer her while ignoring the person on the phone, or report what she said to phone person & wait for their answer to her?

But yes, you are probably weird, because I am weird. I can't stand people listening in to any of my conversations. If I'm talking to someone on the train I can't bear it if there's someone in the seat behind. Or in the queue in the bank I'll be thinking, "Please let me be summoned by the cashier furthest from the queue lest said queue overhear my business".

wonder if he got over it?

We've all been there guys, right? Right?

So have the girls.

I wouldn't say I hate talking on the phone, but I am still not really keen on doing it. Then again, when I was 15 years old, I would talk for HOURS on the phone with my friend.

I once had an 8 hour long phone conversation with my best friend when I was a teenager.

But really I came here to wonder about how late is too late to phone someone you don't really know..? 10pm?

xp Me too, actually. There were a couple of Friday nights we'd talk on the phone from like 7 PM to 3 AM. What's funny is that she lived like a block away (although obviously we wouldn't have been allowed to stay out that late).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0WeQJW-H3Y

Thanks! That was most helpful.

I have realised recently that I find it impossible to speak on the telephone when there are others around me.

I have this, though I think to a lesser extent than Dog Latin. If I have the option I'll always walk into an empty room or outside when someone phones me.

For the record, just in case anyone ever wonders, my personal cut of time is midnight.

*cut off

How often do you use the phone socially these days?

I have a pool of five or six friends with whom I can still have a +15 minute conversation. Everyone else is text, FB, e-mail, chat. I'll have maybe two social calls a week and I miss having more.

i only got a contract last week that gives me monthly minutes, and i'm easing back into pretty much what you describe there tbh, two or three rambling calls a week with one of several friends

I usually talk to a brother or a sister or a parent for an hour or two every week. Sometimes call more than one up. I have one or two old friends who I'll talk to for an hour or more as well. I like keeping in touch. People in town I usually just talk to on the phone to arrange things.

See, most people in my social circle don't even answer the phone, and some give me grief when I call them about dinner plans instead of just texting.

Family is kind of a given, I think? I hope? It's weird to get texts from your mom

I got the OBI 110 VOIP adapter thing for google voice, and I plugged a big princess phone into it, which imo is a million times better for long conversations. Plus then it's free. I have a pay as you go cell phone for shorter calls/emergencies/etc, and I have spent $80 between my two phones for the entire past year. OH YES I AM CHEAP

Texting is ok for basic arrangements but bad for actual conversations because it's got to be the least emotionally nuanced form of communication available.

yeah, i call my family on the phone. or they call me, i am bad at calling. family is a good fit for the phone; you are past a stage at which the fluency of the call can be read as a barometer of the state of your relationship. i used to hate the phone because it seemed like it didn't support entirely natural non-fluency features that happen in ordinary conversation; gaps are made awkward, reflection gets swapped out for space filling questions, just stupid what-are-you-doing-tomorrowisms. but now i like it better. maybe it's because everything pragmatic & organisational has been outsourced to e-mails & texts, so you know a phonecall's just gonna be shooting the shit. but i like them. its my favourite way to speak to a friend i'm real close to, now, because when the time is right, if we are both at home, we are both in a more relaxed & conversational mood than any other time we can get together.

so a lil bit. people are far away & i write a lot but it is the closest thing to actually relating to/interacting with someone, still, i think.

Texting is ok for basic arrangements but bad for actual conversations because it's got to be the least emotionally nuanced form of communication available.

― chupacabra seeds (Abbbottt), Monday, 2 July 2012 01:33 (39 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i wish you could italicise but i still think texts are pretty great. just the size of them. just texting stupid shit to people, it's fine, you just have to scale down the thing it is you are relaying.

/none of my blunt conversation requires any nuanced emotional reading

I also have a little flip phone and stupid long nails so texting is hard.

Yeah I find the lack of tone in txts can be offputting - I will email a friend with something liek "oh crap change of plan" and just get "ok" as a reply... ok? Was that a blunt unhappy ok, are you just showing brevity, whaaaat.

I mean i will txt, not email! gah.

yeah I'm a noob at it too so I don't get, everything everyone says, are you supposed to say back 'ok' or 'lol' or 'cool' – even if imo it requires
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DisZ6qmNdbo

ok is just ok until i get any further info, this usually works well as an approach with texts

I like the rhythm of a good text conversation, same as a chat, really.

I talk to my parents every other day or so and that's it really. I sort of hate talking on the phone these days which is a BIG change from how I felt about it years ago. I dislike it so much that I avoid calling friends because of it which is bad since nearly all of my closest ones live far away. I did talk to one yesterday for about 30 min and it wasn't too awful. Maybe this will inspire me to call a couple others.

Yes, I think cell phones are not the same experience as talking to an old friend or family member on a landline! I ditched my landline due to expense and lack of use. Reminiscing with your cousin about your dear departed auntie on this dinkie little thing that has video games and music on it is kind of depressing.

i think i have forgotten what it's like to talk on a landline

i talk to people on iphone and skype quite often

I can happioly talk to my mum on the phone, but with most other people I'm not a fan - one or 2 friends aside. I have done phone support style jobs for a living for many years, and the reflexive, defensive "caller will be asshole" reaction always sits in my craw from years of abuse. It sucks. I kinda miss the days when phone was all there was, and I'd talk to my long distance bf on the phone for 2 hours and get in trouble cos my parents copped a $24 charge on the bill (that'd never cost so much now!)

I don't mean to be morbid, but I had the displeasure of calling family members on a cell phone to tell them that someone died and the experience was less intimate for some reason. I mean to give them that news on the same device you used at the supermarket seems disrespectful.

But I'm not keeping a landline around just for sick relatives.

that's interesting; i don't think of my iphone like that at all. in fact, i think of it as a reliable and helpful object/friend.

friend with a busted grill

:D

no no i have a new 4S now!
oh but my busted buddy is still around but for international use only

I got the OBI 110 VOIP adapter thing for google voice, and I plugged a big princess phone into it, which imo is a million times better for long conversations. Plus then it's free.

That's exactly what I'm doing! Right down to an actual Princess phone, one of those old indestrucible Bell System phones with a separate power cord to power the incandescent dial light. The even cheaper OBI 100 will do if you don't have an actual landline. Basically, buy a $44/£30 box and you'll have free home phone service with sound quality just as good as your old landline, talking on a landline phone of your choice, with calls transparently routed over the internet.

More info on OBi VoIP adapters

As much as I like texting and use it for about 75% of the things I used to make voice calls for, there are still some times when I prefer to talk.

I have converted a couple of my friends to the OBI and we have an ongoing competition to find the coolest vintage phone. My friend has a fantastic red wall phone that her husband scored for her on a renovation job.

Also fun to grab a Google Voice number that spells something out (check it here). Google will let you search for words. I really wanted "cat face" but it wasn't an option. So that's how my friend and I greet each other on the phone, with the spellings of the phone numbers we picked out. "Hi, egg gunk." "Hi, tax furs."

lying on the floor talking on an old phone makes me feel like I'm in a Cindy Sherman fantasy land

http://www.popphoto.com/files/_images/201105/96.jpg

it's dreamy!

I mean it's disgusting to be nostalgic but I think a big chunky old phone is legitimately more nice for multiple-hour phone calls, my little flip phone heats up like crazy and you can't hold it under your shoulde
the Princess phone is just glamorous! and it costs nothing except the internet I'm already paying for

that does seem pretty awesome

xp Kind of working in the opposite direction, I have a friend who has one of these retro handsets that plugs into an iPhone

http://data.whicdn.com/images/29934109/0.365x365_large.jpg

Where did that come from?

I do great phone. I still have no trouble with hour-plus conversations. Don't get them often these days, alas.

I still pay for a land line.

Hahah Abb a friend of mine did the spelling thing with her phone number, it is [4 digit prefix] MALICE. So its so easy to remember!

I have converted a couple of my friends to the OBI and we have an ongoing competition to find the coolest vintage phone.

http://image3.jcwstatics.com/sku/images/small/I_574365_SW_1.jpg

such a phone would serve to remind me constantly of "Funny Farm," which I probably watched more times than any other movie as a kid

I associate long conversations with school days when it had more magic.

We had that exact floor in our kitchen!

Does anyone (in US) remember reading the phone book and seeing "teen line"?

My dad had the same phone number for forty two years! When he died I cut the line.

http://data.whicdn.com/images/29934109/0.365x365_large.jpg

That's a good idea, it is more comfortable if you are at home! I miss the cosmetic aspect of having a phone.

I kind of want none of those. They are much nicer to hold. I would probably talk on the phone more.

Abbott the jar! In funny farm when he throws change into the jar to make it sound like a pay phone. Lol.

Found this at the thrift store today. It works a treat!

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg38/scaled.php?server=38&filename=hollywoodo.jpg&res=landing

Thats so neat! I meant to say so on FB.

Today I was on the phone to one of our account managers and while obviously full in mid-conversation, one of my bosses walked up to me, holding out 2 bowls of chocs/sweets, and just... stood there. I waved her away in that "no thanks, and im on the phone ffs" way but she didnt move, til I looked up and realised she wasnt actually looking at me, she was shoving these lollies in my face while *talking to someone else* :|

Gah!

Last personal phone convo I had was about a week ago. First and sadly, possibly last time I will speak to said person on the phone. Wasn't the best chat :(

I used FaceTime for the first time today and it was really alarming/distracting/unpleasant to see my own face while I was having a conversation. I know you're supposed to look at the other person, but that used to be the only option; now it's one of two options, in addition to looking at something else. Weeeeird.

i did like seeing the face of the person i was talking to though! that part was alright.

Hi! OK, we've had a decade of phone evolution since this thread was last revived. Curious how everyone's habits have or haven't changed. I'd say 10 years ago I was already well down the line toward preferring texting to talking for most things, and that has only become more true. However! I also continue to appreciate the value of an actual conversation for particular purposes: one, catching up with family or friends who I don't see or interact with all that much; two, sorting out complicated details of plans that are too annoying to go through rounds of texting over; three, lots of work related things, obviously including interviews. (Although some number of those I now use Zoom for.)

But also, I have increasingly found that I prefer having the phone on speaker to holding it up to my ear — frees up hands for other things, I can have a conversation while making dinner or looking things up online or whatever, and my arm doesn't get tired or my ear hot and sweaty. Of course, that's only practical when I'm by myself somewhere, because I do not want to be the obnoxious person broadcasting my whole conversation to whoever's around.

So, what are your habits? What do you use phone calls for vs. texts, emails or Zooms? Do you FaceTime? Do you use speaker? What's up, Alexander Graham?

Like 99% of my vocal conversations using the phone are on voice notes, the others are with my dentist or my pharmacist or my hairdresser etc

Voice notes are so Irish-coded

But also, I have increasingly found that I prefer having the phone on speaker to holding it up to my ear

With you on the practicality of this in theory but it irritates me I'm talking to someone and can hear them doing other stuff and/or becoming distant from phone at times.

irritates me *when

I apologize ahead of time, like "I'm just making a salad" or whatever. I wouldn't do something like dishes, where the noise would be especially intrusive.

There's also the option of earbuds, which my wife uses when she's on the phone, but I've always found irritating for some reason.

I miss what it was like to have a conversation OTP before Facetime, video chat, etc when we were all privy to multitasking without making our phone mate feel like we aren't paying attention

I like talking on the phone with people I like… I think video chat is super awkward, and will generally only do it for work if the client wants it or if i need to screenshare. Basically 99% of everyone looks awkward on video chat/facetime.

I actually like phone on speaker because in my brain it simulates the acoustics of an in person conversation? Maybe that’s just my weirdness… idk

Voice notes are so Irish-coded