Advice For New ILXers

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What advice would you give somebody who is new to ILX?

(Replies may be edited into an intro page later, btw).

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Lurk for a while before posting.

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Do not say you like Creed.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Why would you say that smee?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Then, right before you're about to post for the first time, hit the back button and lurk some more.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

use the search feature before starting threads

or toploader, apparently

― ron (ron), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Get a feel for the board. Learn basic syntax and grammar. Unless it's ILX speak (the thread of which should really become a FAQ).

Note how people construct arguments from premises. Have a brain. Buy a great big fucking television.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Never admit to disliking kittens.

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I dislike kittens.

well, stupid over-cute pictures of them anyway.

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate kittens.
But I've been here for a very long time.
(Lesson ; There is always an exception to every rule.)

My advie would be similar to the 1986 advert for Hippo-pot-a-mousse:
"Come on dive in".

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

STONE THEM BOTH

― Kitten Jihad (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't start threads about analingus.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:06 (twenty-two years ago)

RJG is fair game.

KITTENS SUX0R!!!

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

The kitten destruction starts here?

(I like 'em, but not when they spark my allergies.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.vanessa.irni.net/kittybone.gif

― Kitten Jihad (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

be careful about logging out before you make smart ass comments ;-)

― ron (ron), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

The ultimate goth/Buffy/PowerPuffGirls pet.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Always consider the possibility that your interlocutor is not who he says he is, but never state this openly.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

be sure and buy gold watches for each hand of all the regulars.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't take it personally.

― James Ball (James Ball), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Lurking first has been a rule that I've used wisely for 14 years now. It means (particularly in a place where levels of politeness vary between posters, and sometimes between days for the same poster) that you can tell when someone is being rude by their own standards, or just by yours.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Andrew, You lurked for 14 years??? ha ha

I'm with James Ball. Don't take it personally.
You know, all this kitten hate... I'm not taking it personally. Not anymore! It doesn't bother me. No siree! People can still like me and not like kittens... I think...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

search for new threads before starting them.

read a lot of old threads to find out abt this place and the ppl here and the general tone of discussions.

and finally: lurk for a bit.

I was in ILM for at least a year before i started posting but it took a while. I did read loads of old threads (mainly on film/books and the sex/relationships threads) and it did take me a while to 'feel part of it'.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Andrew, are you looking for a fight?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

A bit of ilx-specific advice I'd give is to answer a few questions before you start any threads. You don't have to but it gets people used to your name.

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

(pause)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Good one Tom. OTM.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, alright. Where and when?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

FITE FITE FITE FITE!!!!

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

General attitude advice:
When I started Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, I was overwhelmed by the detail and especially by all of the names. I wondered how I would ever finish the book, and, more importantly, enjoy it. After a while, however, it became clear who the important characters were, and I started to get a sense of who they were as (fictional) people. Reading ILX is similar. At first, it is difficult to crack the codes, and to connect thoughts with thinkers. Don't give up, and try to ease into it. As stated above, it is better to lurk, just as it is better to try to enter into the world created by an author, before asking questions, both of ILX and a book.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Be hot. Not too hot, in an unattainable way; and certainly not Hollywood's disturbing concept of hot; but be hot in some curious and unfamiliar way. That would be appreciated.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Great advice, Piuma!

Sadly, I gave up on Anna Karenina a couple of years ago, Aaron. But maybe I have matured since then.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

ILE= Anna Karenina shockah!

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Be likable. And if you can't be likable, be nasty in an endearing way.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

My trick for reading A.K. was to be reading out in the woods in the middle of winter at those points when it was winter in the book. Be careful though, and don't catch a cold!

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

My trick was to ruin my life with selfishness and distraction at exactly the moments when the characters in the book did, and now I feel like throwing myself under a train! Hurrah literature!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

For your first full month of ILM posting, write all of your responses as if they actually began "Well it's just my opinion and I can see how you might disagree but." Also remember that any given artist you like will survive just fine even if ILM doesn't generally like him or her: you don't have to martyr yourself in their defense or send the pillars tumbling behind you, because the world sails smoothly on regardless of what ILM thinks of it.

Also yes, read old threads: maybe you should put together a course packet of selected classics for common reference! (That is a joke.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I think we should actually collect old threads which display good posts and "bad" posts of all kinds. Perhaps a commentary could be written alongside, and used as a kind of "primer" or something.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

If you use IM, post your AIM name to one of the many "who's on AIM now?" threads. I did that when I was still fairly new (and I still don't post a lot), but I got a few IMs from people and got dragged into an ilxor chat straightaway, which was a good place to get more familiar with some of the regulars here.

― Jen (nstop), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

did anyone say: use the search feature at the bottom of the page before you ask a a question. generally, if a topic hasn't been discussed in a year or two, it might be ok to start a new thread. on the other hand, if a topic has been discussed within the last 6 months or so, revive the thread instead of starting a new one.

Tracer: I used the same trick as well! I still think I am Levin.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

i think all the new advice is wonderful. i've been lurking forever now, but i've decided to come out of hiding just in time to read this thread...but
Then, right before you're about to post for the first time, hit the back button and lurk some more
perhaps i should rethink!
i think i'll add though, make sure you come in with a sense of humor and try not to take things to personally. very important.

― stolenbus (stolenbus), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

avoid it like cigarettes and heroin

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX is worse than nicotine or heroin. I am at work now. I would have to leave the desk to smoke or junk-up, drawing the negative attention of my co-workers. I can use ILX at any time!

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Advice: if you find yourself becoming very angry at a post from someone you have never met in real life, do not post in response (or at all) until you realise just how mental that is.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

HAha Colin, that's the best advice possible!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Unless you're an asshole, or are incapable of communicating a coherent thought, there is room for you on ILx. Do not be scared. Walk into the light.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

LURK FIRST!!!

Apart from that... be flexible, be willing to learn, be willing to play, do not take everything said on this board at face value, and most of all, remember that we are discussing OPINIONS - it is OK to insult the opinion, it is not OK to insult the poster holding said opinion. Show other posters the respect you would wish to receive yourself.

― kate, Wednesday, 29 January 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

do not ask if [insert latest interweb pr0n craze here] is real or not...

remember how google-able the boards are

...and what everyone else said :)

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Be willing to gossip, dance, listen, throw drinks, pick up the tab, be careful, tickle the girls, tickle the boys, jump, punch, fight, reason, be glib, compare dinosaurs to deckchairs, petrol bomb the cold white sheet, leave it well alone, get addicted, get banned, be hearty, be swarthy, cuddle up to your favourite, have a blankey, have oral sex with relative strangers, wipe jam off your CDs, hold up petrol stations, laugh, talk, have a good time, make friends.

― Cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I often read/post from my office which employs some kind of filtering software that filters out *objectionable* content. It's blocked random pages with nothing objectionable on them before, so clearly it's somewhat faulty. But what I'm getting to is...

Please, if you can, do not use obscene language in the subject line of your thread. Also, if your thread will contain questionable image files, please put an alert to that effect in the subject line. To be fair, most people do this.

― Sean (Sean), Wednesday, 29 January 2003 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 24 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Frank is spot on again. But Nick's (sorry, Dastoor's) post is so funny I have completely withdrawn my objection to this notion, as long as all the advice is like that.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 30 January 2003 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a bit upset by Mr. Daddino's comment upthread. Surely there is room for me too?

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 30 January 2003 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Roll over, roll over.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 30 January 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

*sob*

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 30 January 2003 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

don't come in thinking you will be welcomed, You most certainly will not be.Nobody has a heart anymore, and I am about to give mine up soon, I hear that suicide is the answer to everything that hurts.

― becky lucas (becky_lucas), Thursday, 30 January 2003 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

anti-kitten material all over this thread.

i must go hide.

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 30 January 2003 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

*whispered* Hey, g-kit! Over here!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 30 January 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Please, please use paragraphs and sentences to gather thoughts.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

(For those of you who don't know, HTML stands for "Horny Teen Married Lesbians," sort of like the spam in your inbox suddenly coming to life and producing a great pop record, and they're married to the sons of exiled Nigerian presidents but remain horny and dissatisfied and eager to meet me, though ready to confront me with an inescapable truth that my wives or lovers have been too polite to mention: size and stamina do matter.)

This must go into the FAQ immediately.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Charge right in and call everybody "insufferable cunts". Well, it worked for me...

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't assume that if people don't respond to your threads or posts that they are intentionally ignoring you. Maybe they just aren't interested.

I agree with the just-jump-right-in faction, except that I also think it is good to do a search first if you are thinking of posting a new thread. But there's no need to lurk for a year or read a hundred threads before posting.

ILX is both cliquish and welcoming, in my experience. No one here has ever met me in person, as far as I know (with the exception of one rare celebrity poster on ILM, and one poster I invited to ILM), yet people started responding to my posts pretty early on, and some seemed to go out of their way to be friendly.

― Rockist Scientist, Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

If you genuinely are thinking about harming yourself, please contact a real life friend, relative, or mental health professional, or a close e-mail friend.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

If a post offends you, perhaps you should ignore it instead of making it into a bigger deal.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 30 January 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah but Nick, remember how I called you a fascist back?

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 30 January 2003 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh aye, that's right. God, those were the days, eh nabisco? Fun and larks!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 30 January 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

two weeks pass...

Less 'meta' is betta

New Answers
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Glad to see everyone disagrees.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 18 February 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

sixteen years pass...

dont

― ɪmˈpəʊzɪŋ (darraghmac), Wednesday, 20 February 2019 21:38 (six years ago)

Haaaaaaaaaa, came here to post exactly that.

― A functioning gazebo made of Candlebox cassingles (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 20 February 2019 22:12 (six years ago)

i have no real advice, except, much like in life, this place is what you make of it

― John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, Wednesday, 20 February 2019 22:14 (six years ago)

which ones are the new ones

― (ADVANCE) (320k vbr) (--V2) (aps) (diVX) (2CD) OST - SB (2019) (esby), Wednesday, 20 February 2019 23:18 (six years ago)

Everyone who joined after about March of 2002 is new I think

― Norm’s Superego (silby), Wednesday, 20 February 2019 23:19 (six years ago)

welcome John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

― ɪmˈpəʊzɪŋ (darraghmac), Wednesday, 20 February 2019 23:30 (six years ago)

It would be a cool to see a list of every ilxor sorted by date joined

― calstars, Wednesday, 20 February 2019 23:37 (six years ago)

I wonder if it’s to the point where an early ilxor could veritably pwn a newbie by saying “I’ve been on this site longer than you’ve been alive”

― calstars, Wednesday, 20 February 2019 23:38 (six years ago)

ILX will be 19 years old in summer, so yes. (Signed, Here First Day, Now Get Off My Lawn.)

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 20 February 2019 23:42 (six years ago)

Awesome

― calstars, Wednesday, 20 February 2019 23:44 (six years ago)

imagine the total statscock

― j., Thursday, 21 February 2019 00:09 (six years ago)

the ilx lawn in 2000 was much greener

― John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, Thursday, 21 February 2019 00:14 (six years ago)

more like yawn

― calumy (rip van wanko), Thursday, 21 February 2019 00:57 (six years ago)

my advice just have fun shootin' the shit on the internet

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 21 February 2019 01:00 (six years ago)

my advice is make sure you're not spending more than 60% of your time complaining about shitty things are, unless you're oscar the grouch

― Karl Malone, Thursday, 21 February 2019 01:01 (six years ago)

He's more about delighting in how shitty things are though tbf.

― A functioning gazebo made of Candlebox cassingles (Old Lunch), Thursday, 21 February 2019 02:06 (six years ago)

Did something happen or is this just griping about the politics threads

― change display name (Jordan), Thursday, 21 February 2019 02:33 (six years ago)

Don't post on any threads or the villagers will round on you

― FernandoHierro, Thursday, 21 February 2019 07:09 (six years ago)

Thank u 2 this thread for giving me pause to realize that the fifteenth anniversary of my first post is coming up in a few days, what the fuuuuuck

Run, new posters. Run and don't look back.

― St. Boniface, patron saint of boner faces (Old Lunch), Thursday, 21 February 2019 12:57 (six years ago)

oh ppl say that like you wouldn't have just wasted your time on some other dumb shit

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 21 February 2019 13:22 (six years ago)

I'll have you know that I've very efficiently wasted my time on a broad variety of dumb shit over those fifteen years, thank you very much.

― St. Boniface, patron saint of boner faces (Old Lunch), Thursday, 21 February 2019 13:25 (six years ago)

i'm just assuming the "ilx sucks" crew are actually reading the politics threads? in which case my advice is don't even open those threads, talking about politics on the internet is a losing game

― the scientology of mountains (rushomancy), Thursday, 21 February 2019 13:27 (six years ago)

'ilx sucks' is practically our secret handshake at this point, c'mon.

― St. Boniface, patron saint of boner faces (Old Lunch), Thursday, 21 February 2019 13:28 (six years ago)

I'll have you know that I've very efficiently wasted my time on a broad variety of dumb shit over those fifteen years, thank you very much.

― St. Boniface, patron saint of boner faces (Old Lunch)

i've wasted my time on dumb shit all over the place, this is one of the better places i've gone to waste my time on dumb shit imo

i don't do "ilx sucks" because primus fans beat us to that like thirty years ago

― the scientology of mountains (rushomancy), Thursday, 21 February 2019 13:30 (six years ago)

Avoid the Primus threads too.

― pplains, Thursday, 21 February 2019 14:20 (six years ago)

I wonder if it’s to the point where an early ilxor could veritably pwn a newbie by saying “I’ve been on this site longer than you’ve been alive”

Omfg. Cry me a Justin River

― nathom, Thursday, 21 February 2019 18:30 (six years ago)

As pwns go, that one's practically invisible to the naked eye.

― A is for (Aimless), Thursday, 21 February 2019 18:43 (six years ago)

fp early, fp often, fp nerdstrom poindexter and just generally have a good time

― A funny tinge happened on the way to the forum (wins), Saturday, 23 February 2019 02:12 (six years ago)

never fp'd anybody, never will

― Dan S, Saturday, 23 February 2019 02:14 (six years ago)

― calstars, Saturday, 23 February 2019 02:16 (six years ago)

come in with an open mind about gaz coombes and hitler

― calumy (rip van wanko), Saturday, 23 February 2019 02:23 (six years ago)

Get down and stay down

― brimstead, Saturday, 23 February 2019 05:15 (six years ago)

-bob marley

― j., Saturday, 23 February 2019 06:24 (six years ago)

duck

is delicious on a cheap frozen pizza

― the scientology of mountains (rushomancy), Saturday, 23 February 2019 10:25 (six years ago)

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