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When someone bumps into me, I say sorry. When someone asks me a question that I can't answer I tell them I'm sorry. When someone has been an idiot and apologises to me for it, I often say I'm sorry for getting annoyed with them.

Why do we say we're sorry when we're not?

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I guess because avoids awkward situations. But, I think it's just become the first one word that lots of people use these days...

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 1 February 2003 19:57 (twenty-three years ago)

arrggh, I keep missing out words from posts today, sorry 'bout that.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:01 (twenty-three years ago)

The anglo-saxon curse.

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:02 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm Irish.

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Would it be at all helpful to think of it as an abbreviated exclamation of judgment, like "[you are a] Sorry! [excuse for a person who doesn't look where he/she's walking and furthermore will misconstrue this exclamation as an apology]"?

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I made a New Year's Resolution last year to stop apologising when I didn't mean it, but I realised it was actually nigh impossible because most of the time you say sorry is in stupid little situations like that. For a while when somebody'd bump into me I'd just sort of stare at them or try and sort of chuckle amiably at them, but I'm fairly sure I just came across as a bit sinister. Thinking of this is causing me to wonder why I abandoned the resolution, actually.

― Ferg (Ferg), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:05 (twenty-three years ago)

you still speak it, and 1000 years of war and occupation has got to count for something.

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:06 (twenty-three years ago)

That might be helpful but it's simply not the case, is it?

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:07 (twenty-three years ago)

i think people say sorry when they don't mean it because sometimes it's less likely to get you into trouble than saying what you really want to say. ie. "fuck you, asshole" or something to that effect.

even creeps who try to pick you up by groping your ass or something equally charming get a "sorry" sometimes. but i like that type of sorry, because it takes the sorry and converts it into something unapolegetic.

― sand.y, Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:14 (twenty-three years ago)

but it is the case!

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you ever apologise?

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:20 (twenty-three years ago)

How about saying sorry for something you didn't do? "Oh no I crashed my car yesterday." "I'm sorry." "Why? It's not your fault." "I mean, I'm sorry it happened." It always seems to confuse people when I use sorry as an expression of sympathy.

― Maria (Maria), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I use it in that way, Maria. Very different from "I apologize."

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 1 February 2003 20:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Connotation/denotaion blah blah blah.

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 1 February 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

i say sorry way, way too often. i'm better than i used to be (a few years ago my friend c took to hitting me whenever i apologised unecessarily, which helped), but it's one of those nervous tics i'd like to get rid of.

― toby (tsg20), Saturday, 1 February 2003 21:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Sometimes when I bump into a goddamn chair I say, "sorry."

― bobby j, Saturday, 1 February 2003 21:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey! Chairs are people too.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 2 February 2003 00:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm like Toby I say sorry far to much. If someone punched me in the face there's a good chance I'd say "Sorry for hurting your fist". I think it may be a confidence thing in a weird way.

― fractal (fractal), Sunday, 2 February 2003 01:04 (twenty-three years ago)

How about saying sorry for something you didn't do? "Oh no I crashed my car yesterday." "I'm sorry." "Why? It's not your fault." "I mean, I'm sorry it happened." It always seems to confuse people when I use sorry as an expression of sympathy.

I do this all the time, frequently with the same response. Annoying.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 2 February 2003 05:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah, but I am master of the aggressive SORRY. A withering glare and an aggressive "Sorry" that says quite plainly "Sorry my unfortunate FOOT was in the way of your careless BUMBLING."

― kate, Sunday, 2 February 2003 09:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Where was the thread where we talked about this before? It's driving me nuts.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 2 February 2003 13:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey! Chairs are people too.

Usually only in certain fetish-related situations, though.

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 2 February 2003 13:17 (twenty-three years ago)

when I got off the bus to go to the Oxford FAP, I passed a group of teenage girls standing at the bus stop. One was gesticulating wildly and hit me in the face and I said "sorry" even though it was obviously not my fault, ie I hadn't walked into her flailing arm. I consider it an autonomic response.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 2 February 2003 15:49 (twenty-three years ago)

kate, maybe you can also hold your hand behind your ear, as if you're "hearing" it instead of saying it.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 3 February 2003 08:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Apologies to the hotel residents, tramps and dustmen of Park Lane and Picadilly who had to put up with me practicing "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman" at 4am on Saturday on the way to the bus stop.

(cz I can't hit all the notes)

― Graham (graham), Monday, 3 February 2003 17:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I say "I'm sorry" ALL the TIME.

I once heard that if you say "I don't know" too many times, you actually confuse yourself and start to feel more dumb. Similarly, I would think that by saying "I'm sorry" too much you might start feeling unnecessarily guilty.

Anyway, I'm like gabbneb and maria. I'm tired of the 'What are YOU saying sorry for? It's not your fault.'

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 3 February 2003 17:40 (twenty-three years ago)

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