Use other routines please

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With reference to Use Other Facts Please! and What really embarrassing thing have you said recently? , and maybe Pop Cliché: Advanced Level , what 'ha ha this is funny' things make you wince and want to interject with a "Stop! You're only embarrassing yourself."?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 3 February 2003 04:39 (twenty-two years ago)

RJG got his comeuppance when he tried to tell me about Elvis Costello's racism anyway, ha.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 3 February 2003 04:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Not even necessarily 'routines' but also jokes that aren't 'here's a joke that I'm not pretending to have made up myself' jokes.

Like when people used to say "Don't know why there's all this fuss about global warming - if it got a bit warmer here I wouldn't mind!" and you smile weakly, or in 1997 when your uncle was talking about the Spice Girls and he said "Course you know what your Auntie Mel is - Old Spice!" and you slit your wrists.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 3 February 2003 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

haha.

yeah but. I didn't present it like "well, here's something you might find interesting/probably didn't know..." unlike your quest for being-funny via one of the most worn, like, bits in movies.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 3 February 2003 04:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Shut up! I have already said I made a mistake. I don't know the movies so well..

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 3 February 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

'who's on first?' can still be funny with the right treatment.

I mean...obviously it's still funny...like that bit from GoodFellas is still funny too...but just remembering it [or just remembering that something happens in that film and looking up the quote] doesn't make you funny. it does actually make you unfunny. and not just you.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 3 February 2003 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I wasn't just remembering it! I was responding to ethan's 'Hey Nick - you're funny'. But you're right anyway. It wasn't funny. Look can we drop this now and move onto OTHER people's terrible routines?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 3 February 2003 05:16 (twenty-two years ago)

ie. that was *the point of this thread*

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 3 February 2003 05:16 (twenty-two years ago)

you're looking for suggestions for other routines to do. OK:

that bit from 'pinky and the brain' about what they're going to do tonight.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 3 February 2003 05:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't even know that.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 3 February 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

ie. it would prob. impress me.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 3 February 2003 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread makes me wince.

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 3 February 2003 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

its a bit on the sinister side isnt it?

i was wondering where the 'noone' joke was.

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 3 February 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

DAN PERRY TO THREAD!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 February 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, you're mean.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 February 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh God, people who quote massive chunks of Peter Cook own this thread.
One of the most squirmy pub moments ever was watching my friend P do practically a whole half hour long sketch, getting progressively drunker and oblivious to the strained smiles of those around him, and to me trying madly to change the subject just to shut him up for his own good. Oh God. I'm cringing thinking about it. Oh God.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 3 February 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

i havent noticed many people doing David Brent routines...just as well i figure.

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 3 February 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

TO CLEAR UP CONFUSION: I was talking about myself, not when other people invoke my name instead of making filthy jokes.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 February 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you heard the one about Hilton something or other?

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 3 February 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

testify mark, testify.

David Brent ones are very bad, the Office doesn't even remotely transfer to conversations. In general impressions of celebs etc are stupid, people making up a routine can be funny if they are funny.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 3 February 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

eleven months pass...

I think

"If by [x] you mean [opposite of x] then I agree with you 100%"

is due for retirement.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I think YOU'RE ready for retirement, old man.

― Fatal Beret (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Like "Working hard? Hardly working!" ?

I need more examples, please.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you."

It pains me to even have to type it out.

― rainman (rainman), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

If by "due for retirement" you mean "ripe for a revival", I concur, mi amigo.

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"I could mention [fact the speaker "could" mention], but I won't."

― america's first municipal lunatic asylum (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

GREAT name, jody!

― Fatal Beret (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Or the way people say "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy" like it's a Jeff Foxworthy line?

Or "It's my boat. It's her house."?

Another day, another dollar.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

The recitation of Monty Python routines. I thought that was super-witty when I was 14 or so.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Or the way people say "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy" like it's a Jeff Foxworthy line?

Tom Waits said it on Fernwood 2-Nite in the late '70s -- not sure if he originated it.

― america's first municipal lunatic asylum (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Tom Waits said it on Fernwood 2-Nite in the late '70s -- not sure if he originated it.

modern folklore?

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Right. And chirping out a Tom Waits line as if Jeff Foxworthy had written it is quite egregious.

Whenever I ask my grandmother's husband how he's doing, he always replies that he doesn't buy green bananas anymore. This was funny the first time I heard it; not funny the next 200 times.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't tell us, tell him.

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe he's trying to get you to stop asking "How are you doing?". I think it's a good line.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

He also laments that since British Petroleum bought Mobil, all of the profit goes to "The Crown" now and...

Look. This is getting off-topic. All that I meant was that the green bananas line is one of those unfunny lines that people say to be humorous when the very oppisote effect is what happens.

I just found this PDF that shows that the Green Banana joke may have gone too far.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It's 2.2MB! Is it worth it?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 12:25 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread reminds me of the food van I used to visit when i was a student. Every time I went these 2 burly British Gas workers would turn up and one would order 2 mugs of coffee and he would always say "Two mugs for two mugs!"

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I find things like that, and the green banana thing, quite sweet because they're not supposed to be smart. They know they've said it a million times before.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Posting 8 million pictures to Calum's threads.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Posting to Calum's threads.

(when will we learn etc. etc.)

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I know, I'm sorry.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

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