Do You Know any Big Amazing Secrets?

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Well, do you? I think I do but I can't keep track.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 7 February 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

my grandpa saw a ufo. he did. seriously. now it's not a secret.

― Megan P, Friday, 7 February 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, but of course you're never goign to learn them so you'll never know whether I do, will you? Muahahahahaha

― Vic (Vic), Friday, 7 February 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

michael jackson is really a wax sculpture.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 7 February 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think I do. What counts as a big secret?

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 7 February 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I do but I'm not telling, you can't make me!

― smee (smee), Friday, 7 February 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

What I know about Afghanistan, for instance.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 7 February 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I know the Pazz & Jop results, but I'm not telling

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 7 February 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, Andrew, who did, you have in mind when you started this thread?

: )

― Vic (Vic), Friday, 7 February 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a secret!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 7 February 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Matos - that is mean, can u at least do the clue thing ?

Andrew - tsk

― Vic (Vic), Friday, 7 February 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I know about a very non-conventional bomb that was developed in the 80's and was "premiered" at Kosovo.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 7 February 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel like I know one or two big political secrets, but I can't remember them off the top of my head.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 7 February 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

No. And if I did I wouldn't tell you.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 7 February 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

M Matos, as if we care! But tell us anyway. Is Robert Nedelkoff's list in there as well?

― nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 7 February 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I have lots of dirt on celebs in Detroit's garage rock scene that they prolly want to be kept.... secret-like!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Friday, 7 February 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

i am useless at keeping secrets, so any that I *did* know will have already been told by now.

psst, did you know that Cat Slater was pregnant ?

― Fuzzy (Fuzzy), Friday, 7 February 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Iraq is working on a dirty bomb, but not THAT kind. When this one goes off, we're all going to have black rectangles over our eyes.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

At least half of you know who I work for by now. What do you think?

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

So how's the pay at ConGlomCo?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Strangely it follows the US Military pay grade system to the cent.

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is boring. tyhe potential was there but it fails from the word go.

― dog latin, Friday, 7 February 2003 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Dood. Remind me, what branch of the service are you in again?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 February 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

Carly Simon to auction off big amazing secret

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 07:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 07:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I already know that one, luna

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 09:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I the only one who thought this was the stupidest news story ever? I mean, does she really think someone will pay a bunch of money for this huge "revelation"?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 10:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I would pay upwards of £20.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I would pay $100 to learn the secret, then I would lie and tell all the tabloids that it was about Spiro Agnew. Then she would get all pissed and say I had promised not to say who the song was about, and I would just be like "I didn't tell them who it was about, dumbass." It's the perfect plan.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I know who Dada is.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know any big or amazing secrets, I am pretty far out of the loop on most things.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I know who Dada is.

(does it begin with G?)

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Gareth wouldn't do something so silly.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I've got a pretty strong feeling on the identity of one D-d-.

― s1utsky (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:30 (twenty-two years ago)

And it isnt momus?

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Dada is Warren Beatty. Case closed.

― Captain Typo (kenan), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I know who Dada is.

Does the name begin with S?

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I know who Dada is.
(does it begin with G?)

So that's where Geir has been all this time!

― Prude (Prude), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't care who Dada is. Carry on Dada, I am fan of your work.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 05:06 (twenty-two years ago)

This isn't the thread where we guess who Dada is, people. I'm never going to confess. Unless you pay me, then I would confess.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread was started in honour of Millar, btw

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

He can't tell you anything, we've all tried. It's amazing, he'll be falling over, incomprehensibly drunk and you're like, "So. What is it that you DO for the government again?" and he's like "I cannot tell you. It's classified." This was increasingly ridiculous at J4 FAP/Gareth FAP because we were ALL trying it and he was getting just maniacally drunk and yet, still, no secrets. I've decided he investigates UFOs.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

He knows you are all part of a terrorist cabal, that's all. Gareth is your leader.

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

He told me this whole thing about how he was learning Chinese from his MANY Chinese transfer student style coworkers once, I was loving it, but it turned out he was LYING. I like to believe crap, it's fun. I imagine he works at a console in a room lit only by his display and those of his coworkers, all green and flickering.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Least terrifying terrorists ever??? I mean seriously, have you seen us?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, how could Gareth be anything but a terrorist leader after that one picture? You know the one I mean.

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Der Führer? Ach, I have said too much. Damn it all to hell.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, it's about an r&b star. Not telling though.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I was also told a secret about the lead singer of a certain band that sings "Danger! High Voltage!" and I am sworn to secrecy.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it that he is SINCERE?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

No, he's David Byrne.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, David Byrne wishes!!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

haha today I heard a bunch of crazy shit! Can't tell anybody though. 2 words: NORTH KOREA.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

**** loves me.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

But, Sam, it is no secret that I love you.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

hey buddy, church and state, hello

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

It's the trinity.gov that alarms me there, cause I think it might mean Jesus invented the atom bomb.

xp Millar

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Millar, my child, I know whereof you speak. The Dems are totally fucked in '04.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey-seus, note there were 4 stars up there, not five. Learn to count buddy.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus, our minds our like this. *insert crossing fingers here*

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 22:02 (twenty-two years ago)

He can't really be Jesus. Mexicans don't talk like that.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Sam, I assumed that was because you were calling me by the Name that My nearest and dearest loved ones call Me by, "Chip".

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus don't need to count! WTF he's Jesus, people, come ON. Jesus is a loaf of bread.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

dnftj!

― Aaron A., Thursday, 7 August 2003 01:46 (twenty-two years ago)

He was stuffed full of yeast and allowed to rise?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 7 August 2003 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

VIRGINS CAN BAKE BREAD PEOPLE. THEY CANNOT HAVE BABIES. THAT IS ALL.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

VIRGINS CAN BAKE BREAD PEOPLE. THEY CANNOT HAVE BABIES. THAT IS ALL.

I love consuming bread. I don't particularly relish the thought of having a baby. I like this setup.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 7 August 2003 01:57 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, for serious now, the only time I ever went to Sunday School (??? I think I went with a friend for some reason, cos I'm not Catholic), they made us sing a song that involved the lines "Eat his body / Drink his blood" and ever since then I can't even think about setting foot in a church without thinking about cannibalism. I swear I am not making this up. It was insane. Like no offense to Catholics or anything, honestly, I think that the Sunday School teacher was just a lunatic.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 02:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Sounds typically Catholic to me, Ally

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 7 August 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Sometimes they put it a little more subtly, 'eat of his body' etc, but yeah it's a wacked out religion

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 7 August 2003 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

That's really terrifying. It's like what if Lestat and Hannibal Lecter had a baby and it made a religion.

Maybe I should go back to talking about Bread Jesus before I piss people off.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, baby, it's all cool. You just need to let it fly freakystyle, you know what I'm saying? If you want to eat My body, if you want a taste of My shall-we-say blood, you know My name, I'm listed, give Me a ring.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Thursday, 7 August 2003 05:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Didn't Homer give Marge an onion ring?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 7 August 2003 05:49 (twenty-two years ago)

David Palmer didn't die

― nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (James Blount), Thursday, 7 August 2003 06:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Sign #457 that people think you're easy: Even Jesus is hitting on you.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

*reads Andrew Thames' and Ally's comments*

HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*huffs off, muttering "My faith isn't freaky at all!"*

(Really, truly. My faith is what's helping me BIGTIME right now. If it weren't for my faith, I could very well be dead right now. That's all I'm saying.)

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 7 August 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Not to get into a religion debate, but that's great for you. It doesn't stop the fact that the Catholic church was rather less than Catholic to my family--and I'm not getting into the issue that made me disgusted with religion on board--and thus makes it a target of endless mirth for me. I said I'd stop but really, "Eat his body / Drink his blood"? You got to admit that is such a freaky thing to make 6 year olds sing.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I should have said at the time that's one of the things I love about Catholicism, the WEIRDNESS of it, the conviction of the belief, to such a degree that it takes precedence over "reality". I thought pretty seriously about converting to it at some point in my teens but my Mother put me off. But I didn't say these things, cos I'm a thoughtless dick. Sorry!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 7 August 2003 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Also it's especially silly as it annoys me badly when people casually hassle religion w/out having any particular connection to it, when it means so much to some people. Ally isn't one of these, obv.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 7 August 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, it's funny the number of anti-Catholics around her (=Ireland) who complain loudly about how everyone lives under the heel of the church, but don't actually know much of anything about the church and how it works.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 7 August 2003 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, it's funny the number of anti-Catholics around here (=Ireland) who complain loudly about how everyone lives under the heel of the church, but don't actually know much of anything about the church and how it works.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 7 August 2003 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

there's *no way* cat stevens is who's vain
can you imagine him in an apricot hat ?

― piscesboy, Thursday, 7 August 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Right on Deanna! That is what I meant on the earlier Xtian-bashing thread.

If people don't need it, I wish they would stop knocking the straw-man version of TV evangelism and realize that faith is what gets many people through very hard times.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 7 August 2003 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Really folx, I don't think anyone's knocking religion here. I totally understand what Ally's saying here but agree with Andrew. I've always dug the freakiness of Catholicism.

Jesus, stop being such a ho.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 7 August 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I put the ho back in holy, sweetie.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Thursday, 7 August 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Catholicism has some pretty big amazing secrets, too. Actually if you want to read some neat stuff you can all go to Google News and search on the phrase "Division 39."

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

AIDS is a weapon.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

< /paranoid pot-head conspiracy theorist...or is he?>

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

< /yes, he is.>

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, Andrew, I'm terribly sorry! I am so used to people's kneejerk "Your religion is crap/a cult/evil" reactions to my faith that I have become kneejerk ("I MUST defend my faith!") in response. And, as I stated before, I am going through a sensitive period right now, so I'm going to be a bit easier to set off. (If you'd like, I can explain via e-mail.)

Really didn't mean to turn this into a religious debate, though! Although, thank you Orbit, for your sentiments.

Anyone up for returning this discussion to an on-topic one?

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

The lion tamer is able to put his head in the lion's mouth because he puts his hand over the lion's nose, forcing it to keep its mouth open.

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

At last, all the blow jobs I desire will finally be mine!

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Pancakes just waffles with little squares in 'em.

― Rosco (nickalicious), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

When you die, God makes you sit in a room with all your dead friends and relatives and then He plays back every single time you ever masturbated in your life.

― jewelly (jewelly), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

That's a hell of an orgasm. What's hell, then?

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Watching your parents and friends and relatives masturbate.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Silly Tep. There is no Heaven OR Hell. There's just the masturbation movies and they play on an endless loop and you're all locked in the room together for eternity. But He does serve finger sandwiches and I hear they're quite tasty, so is it Heaven or Hell? You decide.

― jewelly (jewelly), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

We are working on technology that will allow Us to bring this Heaven to Earth.

― Jesus (Chris Piuma), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

half of my dad's family is eastern orthodox. i've always found the orthodox church to be "freakier" and more "interesting" than the catholic church -- it's almost catholicism on steroids. like, does anyone really know what goes on behind the iconostasis?

half of my mom's family is episcopalian/anglican. i used to find them more boring than catholics -- catholicism on a shoestring -- at least until this week with the gay bishop thing, anyway.

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Blimey. Coincidentally today I've been reading the old stories of Therese de Lisieux. I grew up reading this kind of thing - this probably explains a lot. I was also after some good Catherine of Sienna stuff but have decided I need to drag myself away and read the BOOK OF PERL.

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

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