Pub Quiz Machines: S/D

Give us a Break - Oh the joy. Once lived for an entire summer vacation on one of these. That is not a lie. Used to take a tenner a day out of it.

Monopoly - Very winnable. Tim Hopkins to thread for bestest Monopoly clean out story.

Cluedo - Very winnable

Who wants to be a millionaire - Never got more than a tenner, then did a moneyless version at that computer games exhibition at the Barbican last year and got the jackpot first go. Gah.

The Weakest Link - Awful. Never pays out. Never sworn at a machine like I swear at this one.

destroy--
tetris

Q, as Dom says it is easy for at least 20 minutes or so until they put the number of questions up.

Tetris, it can go on for ages and sometimes gives you random payouts.

Cluedo for fun although it usually lets you make 2 accusations and then won't let you near another room.

Destroy: South Park for making you answer 3 (albeit mostly easy) questions just to play.

Hangman because it feels like it should be easy but never is.

The Matrix isn't too bad sometimes, if the money is near the bottom of the screen.

And aaah! they seem to have taken Tetris off all the machines in Glasgow!

Oh, and, yeah, definitely destroy The Movies Quiz. "Spot the five films that Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio appears in for two seconds". Fuck off.

I agree, unless you have a guy called Matt with you, who will know who scored the soundtrack to Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

They do all the work and pay in the cash, then the machine gets to the point where it's ready to pay out and then leave it for me. Lovely.

Ppl say that i know a lot of trivia but I am ashamed to say that I have never won a prize on the Millionaire machine.

So, is Nevada the only US state where these things pay out money then? (just judging from the rest of the gambling laws).

Phil Taylor's Championship Darts is evil. It's listed under the quiz games but I don't understand it, it's just random button pushing.

Oh, and never choose the skill questions on the football one (can't remember what it's called) as they are impossible to follow.

I like the way the nu school games with the Hi Score tables won't let you enter rude words. The greatest get-round of this I ever saw was a couple of years ago on a Banzai game, where some genius had entered their name as "Borrocks".

So what games are we liking nowadays? I'm sad that "Caveman Capers" is disappearing, that was money for old rope.

there is a pub in teddington that has a pornographic quiz machine! (well, they call it erotica...) You have to match pairs of pictures of scantily-clad ladies, or spot the difference. You can also choose a cars option but funnily enough the blokes i was with weren't so keen on that.

Erotic spot the difference! I played this almost every weekend for about a year until they took the thing away. The pictures all seem to be from the late 80s/early 90s (or is this just all porn?) It's brilliant. Also, on the same machine, hangman but with porn film names or 'sexy phrases'. One of which was 'In Vitro Fertilization'. Hott. You don't win money, but the respect of EVERYONE.

I am quite the sucker for itbox soccer just now, which is like hangman where the answers are all to do with football. I am top on about five different machines in Paisley. Deal or No Deal's pretty good, usually take about seven or eight quid out of it. Crazy Golf's good if my brother is around, he's shit hot at the golf part. I usually start off with Hot Dogs as it's a guaranteed way of turning your initial 50p into a better pot of a few quid to play with.

Deal or No Deal's okay for money but I get bored of answering questions and looking at Noel Edmonds. Alien Invaders or whatever it's called is good lulz and usually winnable. Have you seen that Deals on Wheels that asks the same questions on the next game if you don't win?

To me, your best bet is hitting "Manager's Choice" and hoping (99 times out of 100 you'd be right) that they've not changed it from Cryptic Clues. I can take £5 a session off of that.

But yeah, the days of Top of the Pops 2 and Battleships 2 are long gone now, quiz machines have too many random number functions and are too tight-arsed these days to make BIG money off of. Battleships 3 pays out a little too much though.

There's a new version Top of the Pops on some machines, the thin silver shiny ones. I dropped an easy 6 quid off one on Friday afternoon.

We've only got Itboxes and standalones around here at the moment. Annoyingly. I need to move back to the provinces.

13th Note in Glasgow has a Matrix machine which is Matrix and nothing else. I'd forgotten just how annoyingly infuriating that game actually is.

Battleships 3 is aces for easy money, it lets you get into the money zone thing via the bonus button thingie so often that you hardly ever have to actually answer any questions.

X Factor is rotten once you get past the £3 mark, you always get a stinker of a question, one of those "which of these three people you've never heard of has their birthday earliest in the year" kind of ones. 1 vs 100 is a pretty easy way to win at least £4 though, but I can't remember the last time I won big on any of them, though I still make a profit on the things most times.

I really need a lockin code from some bar staff at some point, tbh, just to see what else is hidden on those things.

ALL STAR QUIZ SHOW 4tw. I don't think anybody ever plays it cos of its lame name, but it's bloody good and pays out.

WORD UP is one that never pays out, but i can't stop playing it

HEX APPEAL is brilliant because it requires no knowledge deeper than just having heard of names of things and be able to spell them. it's hangman without the actual quiz part.

anyone for Pirate Ships?

Oh, Pirate Ships is horrid. The graphics put me off something rotten.

Hex Appeal is awful because we always go for "Scottish Clans" and it always ends up being something completely made up like "MacHamish" or "MacAlexander" or something that no real Scottish person is actually called.

(tactic should be not to go for Scottish Clans, I know, but then you end up with something even worse like "things found in the garden" which always ends up being "cat" or something)

Waht is All Star Quiz Show? I am often wary of new games, especially those with stupid names.

It's the one with an animated host asking you subjects in a variety of categories, and you can pick "experts" to help you w/ three of those categories. One of the experts looks a lot like Terry Nutkins

Oh, I have played that, but I was drunk and it scared me a bit.

I quite like the one where you have to spot Z-list celebs from bits of photos, mostly because recognising Z-list celebs is kind of my thing.

I quite like laughing at drunk people in Central Station pumping money in and getting easy questions wrong, then moving in after them and hoovering up their cash.

Aye, that's always a good one. Do that a lot, do you? :-)

(next you'll be laughing at playing quiz machines with two catholics who don't know anything about saints)

You forgot to put catholics in inverted commas there.