getting offended

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Do you get offended easily or not easily enough, and which is better for what circumstance?

― A Nairn (moretap), Friday, 7 February 2003 20:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Quick, who's going to make the joke about how offended they are by this thread?

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 7 February 2003 20:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I am easily offended if people directly criticise me. I think, this is not a great way to be, as it means I'm taking criticism far too personally. Generally, it's better to be thick-skinned.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 7 February 2003 20:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Only when my clinical depression is biting, when my self-image hits rock bottom and I feel worthless. Then I see things as critical and hurtful, but justified. It's not a good mindset.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 7 February 2003 20:50 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, i'm somewhere along Martin's lines. but i'd also add that generally, things only particularly get underneath my skin if i'm feeling particularly self-loathing AND said item is coming from someone whose opinion i care about. if it's just some random person on the street, it probably doesn't matter to much either way.

― janni (janni), Friday, 7 February 2003 20:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I have been accused of this. I don't actually think that I am but I can see why people might interpret my mannerisms for taking offense.

My trouble is that I have a freakishly wicked but selective memory. It gets me in trouble. I forget that people may not be used to being held accountable for every thing they say or do ever. Most people don't seem to like it. I probably wouldn't either.

I am rarely sure of a person's intentions when they say things that are ambiguous or in a non-deadpan tone of voice so my default position is to take the things people say on an almost pathologically literal level. I tend to answer rhetorical questions and rarely ask them. This is also why I make so many terrible puns.

I also get impatient with people who say things they mean and then backtrack when I ask them to elaborate. It's frustrating for me because I usually respect what the person really wants to say but sometimes we never get to that point because they don't give me enough credit for being open-minded enough to accept their view and then they get offended in turn by my follow-up questions and I get frustrated by their lack of trust, etc.

Another problem for me is that I am keenly aware of ritual and coded and mannered conduct. Although I do believe that people's actions speak almost to the exclusion of their words, I still read far too much into the negative pregrants of people's omissions.

I understand that people find these behaviors extremely annoying. I am trying to work on them and to be more generous with people's failings. I have plenty of them, I know.

― felicity (felicity), Friday, 7 February 2003 21:04 (twenty-three years ago)

yes but i hope i don't show it too much. i really hate it when people get offended for things i do or say that are just totally random and they think they were premeditated, but i get offended by these things too.

― Maria (Maria), Friday, 7 February 2003 22:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I am rarely sure of a person's intentions when they say things that are ambiguous or in a non-deadpan tone of voice so my default position is to take the things people say on an almost pathologically literal level. I tend to answer rhetorical questions and rarely ask them. This is also why I make so many terrible puns."

Me too. I would say 'on the money' if it wasn't such a .... nevermind. IF IT WASN'T SUCH A BLATANT AMERICANISM.

A Nairn - you're the person that posted a picture of someone who died of a heroin overdose aren't you. I thought you were a troll before you posted a photo, now I simply don't care.

― chris sallis, Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:29 (twenty-three years ago)

you know felicity i really think you hate me now

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't hate you! I like you!

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:35 (twenty-three years ago)

The reason I asked this is because I almost never get offended at anything. I'm wondering if this is healthy (which it seems to be). But should I care more about things to a degree of getting offended, or am I better off staying the same and not getting offended.

I said to a friend "Issues are over-rated" and he got mad at me saying that they are important, and it is important to get emotional about them. I tend to believe that

Also I want to avoid offending others, but prefer being more honest than nonoffensive. (hense heroin overdose picture in that one thread)

(What's a troll, and how was I one?)

― A Nairn (moretap), Saturday, 8 February 2003 03:42 (twenty-three years ago)

um.. I tend to believe that making less of a deal about issues is better.

― A Nairn (moretap), Saturday, 8 February 2003 03:43 (twenty-three years ago)

it depends who's criticising me. if its someone i don't care much for, it washes right over. if its someone i like, i get upset. even if they're being constructive. whats worse is that i'm paranoid too, i get upset when people aren't actually making fun of/criticising me. this is because i can't understand why people WOULDN'T make fun of/criticise me. don't believe the tuff as old boots routine.

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 8 February 2003 03:47 (twenty-three years ago)

;-)

― ron (ron), Saturday, 8 February 2003 03:50 (twenty-three years ago)

its very easy to be offended particularly when you have not had anything to smoke for a coupla days and ? or no sleep

― elephantiasis, Saturday, 8 February 2003 10:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Almost nothing offends me excepy unreasoned hatred/ignorance. There is a time and a place for almost everything.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 8 February 2003 10:10 (twenty-three years ago)

It is very hard to offend me. Being near the bottom of the pecking order of a Public (US: Private) School helps one develop an exceptionally thick skin.

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 8 February 2003 10:23 (twenty-three years ago)

four years pass...

how gershy missed this one is utterly beyond me

― Just got offed, Sunday, 23 December 2007 20:47 (eighteen years ago)

Great revive.

― The blue-green world is drenched with horse gore, Sunday, 23 December 2007 20:49 (eighteen years ago)

people are easily offended

― pc user, Sunday, 23 December 2007 20:53 (eighteen years ago)

I am offended that people are easily offended by this revive.

― snoball, Sunday, 23 December 2007 21:01 (eighteen years ago)

argh fuck off louis god you're such a prick cut it out

― El Tomboto, Sunday, 23 December 2007 21:55 (eighteen years ago)

there's a difference between being easily annoyed and easily offended

― blueski, Sunday, 23 December 2007 22:10 (eighteen years ago)

just got offended OTM

― StanM, Monday, 24 December 2007 11:28 (eighteen years ago)

3 reasons to not get offended:

1. misdirected animosity is part of our mode of operation

2. pride is pretty much useless

3. mtv has turned our manners to shit.

― nicky lo-fi, Monday, 24 December 2007 12:44 (eighteen years ago)

capital revive, lj

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 24 December 2007 13:22 (eighteen years ago)

nicky OTM
1 should be ILX's mission statement
2 is my personal mantra
3 is a good summary of the closing years of the 20th century

― snoball, Monday, 24 December 2007 13:44 (eighteen years ago)

3. mtv has turned our manners to shit.

eh?

i hardly ever watched mtv and have terrible manners anyway.

― pc user, Monday, 24 December 2007 13:49 (eighteen years ago)

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