Rewrite Renton's 'Choose Life' speech from Trainspotting

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Choose life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a appliance no.1,
Choose appliance #2 (plural), means of transport (plural), entertainment device (plural) and kitchen appliance (plural)...
Choose good health, popular method for achieving good health and
type of insurance.
Choose method of buying real estate.
Choose a type of real estate.
Choose your friends.
Choose boring thing yr parents did on weekends and wondering question you cannot possibly answer by yourself on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting location with preposition popular domestic timewasting exercise with two hyphenated modifiers preceding, unhealthy activity with modifier indicating excessiveness.
Choose rotting away at the end of it
all, pissing your last in a place that does not sound like fun, nothing more than a something that is not fun to the things you are responsible for
you reason you are responsible for these things.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
But why would i want to do a thing like that?

Millar (Millar), Saturday, 8 February 2003 00:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Er, 'Location with preposition' and 'populat domestic timewasting exercise' are two different parts

Millar (Millar), Saturday, 8 February 2003 00:54 (twenty-three years ago)

So...

Choose life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a toaster,
Choose space heaters, helicopters, Playstations and George Foreman Grills...
Choose good health, yoga and
disability insurance.
Choose low interest financing.
Choose a double-wide.
Choose your friends.
Choose tending the garden and wondering where your next job is coming from on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting in the study posting low-brow man-boobs jokes to ILx, smoking a pack of menthols a day.
Choose rotting away at the end of it
all, pissing your last in a mental hospital, nothing more than a liability to the girl
you worked so hard to marry.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
But why would i want to do a thing like that?

Millar (Millar), Saturday, 8 February 2003 01:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Choose identifying with your generation's equivalent of the rat pack.

Or choose...

chris sallis, Saturday, 8 February 2003 01:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Choose the Fire.
Honor it.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 8 February 2003 01:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Choose life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a rice steamer,
Choose china and silver patterns, Segways, iPods and high-end ranges...
Choose good health, gym membership and special insurance riders for collectibles.
Choose credit union mortgages.
Choose co-ops with snooty boards.
Choose your friends.
Choose going to "films" and wondering if the critics who praised this foreign piece of tat were really entertained by the movie, on a Sunday afternoon.
Choose sitting in your designer dining room, thumbing through quasi-pornographic best-selling cookbooks while swilling cheap supermarket Chardonnay.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in the cheapest long-term care facility your plan can force on you, nothing more than a drain on the inheritances of the children you had in order for them to take care of you in your old age.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
But why would i want to do a thing like that?

j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I think my version was better.

chris sallis, Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Choose life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a Gevalia coffeemaker,
Choose Solaris blowdryers, the new VW Beetles, DVD players and mini food processors...
Choose good health, Pilates and fire insurance.
Choose Rent.com.
Choose multi-use luxury apartment buildings with a hotel component.
Choose your friends.
Choose watching the Giants and wondering why Winnie the Pooh is so damned popular with rational adults on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting in your massive office, eating a grease-dripping cheese-laden chicken parm while working yourself half to death for the cash to pay for it.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in bed with your old wife that you cheated on anyway, nothing more than a task to check off on the lists of obligations for your friends that you only had because they were your connections anyway.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
But why would i want to do a thing like that?

Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:40 (twenty-three years ago)

choose chocolate
choose destruction of the rainforest
choose airbags that don't protect yr pecker
choose sexy maids that don't kno how to dresss properlyl
choose pling plong
choose talking shit in order to achieve subversiveness
choose comfort
choose monochrome sexiness
choose punching the entire cast of trainspotting even tho u remember not minding the romp
choose indecisiveness wit regards to a massive defense of ewan mcgregor
choose colin powell for light-hearted conversation that's ultimately going to lead to decadentland
choose mishearing someone saying, "anal scumbag"

naked as sin (naked as sin), Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:45 (twenty-three years ago)

winnie the pooh? since when did dat exist within the last 478 yrs?

naked as sin (naked as sin), Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Dude, you don't live across the street from the Disney Store, I presume.

Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:47 (twenty-three years ago)

dat wd ruin my life, i assume - at least temporarily.

naked as sin (naked as sin), Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:49 (twenty-three years ago)

It haunts my dreams, the massive non-stop displays of Winnie the Pooh. They made ten different type of Winnie the Pooh for Christmas, dressed up in the garb of different countries. Such as Poland. Santa in Poland is called STAR MAN. And is a yellow bear, apparently.

Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 8 February 2003 02:52 (twenty-three years ago)

And dee adults r sayin, "Gosh, he's so cute!"?

naked as sin (naked as sin), Saturday, 8 February 2003 03:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Judging by the adults I've come across - yes.

Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 8 February 2003 04:24 (twenty-three years ago)

CHOOSE THE FORCE MD'S!

Chris V. (Chris V), Saturday, 8 February 2003 04:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Choose life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose Marvin Gaye and Al Green over Maxwell and Carl Thomas
Choose Eric B and Rakim over Eminem
Choose Glenn Miller instead of Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Choose Kitchens of Distinction over Interpol
Choose The Stooges and MC5 over Mooney Suzuki
Choose Barrington Levy instead of Sean Paul
Choose Joni Mitchell or Joan Baez over Avril Lavigne
Choose Simon and Garfunkel over Kings of Convenience
Choose Miles Davis, Charles Mingus, Dave Brubeck over Kenny fuckin G.
Choose to listen
Choose music.
But why would i want to do a thing like that?

Chris V. (Chris V), Saturday, 8 February 2003 05:08 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...
choose life
chooise a roffle
choose a big whomping Arbys roast beef businews
choo-se a picture of a fluffy baby penguin holding a deep fried cat surrounded by hashbrowns
choose a bushmills
choose a tent
choosae a big drinks cabinet in a house tou cant affrod
choose kittens

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)


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