So what exactly do *women* want out of relationships?

I haf just thought of some things I want out of a relationship - a man with a good sense of humour and a sharp mind.

(Oh hang on - he's already got those)

* = annoying

So, you're saying you'd like a man who will cheat on you with an actress from the 80s as long as said actress had a pubic infestation?

(also, does anyone else feel a peculiarly misplaced sense of guilt/do-they-think-I-hate-fun when they post an on-topic reply after several dozen banter-filled one-liners?)

(also, is that the most hyphens in one sentence ever?)

oh, wrong thread.

Weird thing is that I've just been offered sex by someone I thought I desperately wanted to have sex with ("you won't enjoy it, though" - thanks, most appetising offer, ever, Paranoid Android) and now I realise that what I really want with him is to lie in bed eating ice cream talking about conspiracy theories and listening to music. So even when you think you know what you want, you often really want something else.

And no, I never feel guilty. I like it when my threads get back on topic, it fills me with an enormous sense of relief.

You'e on to something here. During my last relationship I made a point of sharing and warning about my worst as well as my best qualities. Even after this he seemed willing to accept me, warts [1] and all. Any wonder that I fell for him, or that I was devastated when he got cold feet?

[1] Wanna start a pool as to how long it takes Dan to do something smutty with this?
;^}

(Okay, so who won the pool?)

Because that's all you actually care about enough to go after, second verse, same as the first!

OK, STOP, DO NOT ENCOURAGE ME, N!!! I AM TRYING NOT TO TALK ABOUT HILTON ANY MORE.

(oh also must have extensive 40s-50s country collection.)

Asking for floppy hair, a good nose and a large record collection is easily satisfied. Asking for a creative genius willing to recognise *my* genius and share his world with me... much harder!

Besides, I'm trying to keep myself from replying to Hilton's last whinge... oops, I mean, email because otherwise I'm going to shout at him and that way madness lies.

I think I should take him up on the shag, write the article but have it be rubbish and then of course it will be rejected and I don't have to worry about sullying my journalistic reputation while sullying my bedsheets. Ha ha! Everybody wins!

I agree with what sarahel said regarding presentation. I'm not against liking different things but I think if you actively dislike what the other person is into then it is probably bound to fail.

For instance, Phish.

Exactly.

Steely Dan on repeat.

lol, ENBB made out with gabbneb

LOL. After Laurel's Phish thing I almost posted something along the lines of, "See, that's probably why things never would have worked between Neb and I" but then realized that I included the fact that make out boy was both CUTE and NICE so figured that would eliminate any such confusion.

I didn't actively dislike Steely Dan ... I just thought they were kinda dull ... the "on repeat" part drove me crazy. I would then go on to date a guy who was even more into listening to the same songs and albums over and over again, but they were all things I liked.

i know this is gonna get me suggest banned like all hell, but i do not understand the love for steely dan, at all

People love Steely Dan because they are awesome.

If this were myspace Mr. Que, I'd give you two kudos for that.

HI DERE speaks the truth.

what album does one listen to if one was to listen to an awesome bunch of steely dan

Actively disliking something that is really important to your partner is one of those things that... well, I suppose it depends how you handle it, but if it causes you to lose respect for your partner, then that's never going to work.

I think Sarahel is very OTM about the way you present unfamiliar stuff that you love to each other being very important. Doing it in a way that piques the interest of yr partner - that example of discovering artwork, that's totally what I mean about being into different stuff for the same reasons.

i can get down w/ some steely dan, but i'm not a die hard fan or anything. i think most ppl lately like them because it's trendy/ironic?

cocaine, huh

*kidding*

i just remember a few years ago ppl being all 'lol yacht rock!' and growing funny mustaches.

I mean, if someone just said to me "I hate Hawkwind" well, I'd be a bit sad coz I love them, but I wouldn't necessarily write them off, just either 1) see if I could educate them a bit more or 2) just not play them in his presence if I couldn't.

However, if someone said "Hawkwind suck big hairy moosecock and all their fans are stinking hippie shite!" then there's no way I could date them because I wouldn't want to date someone who thought that negatively about a group that included me - therefore must think negatively about me.

btw - I totally do the listening to stuff repeatedly thing but usually on headphones if there is someone else around since I realize that it would annoy a lot of ppl.

I'm alone a lot of the time, so when I play "De Futura" or songs I'm trying to figure out the drum parts to over and over it bothers no one.

I kind of said some not-so-nice things about Amy Grant but my wife still married me! I think we both decided our feelings towards each other were stronger than our feelings towards Amy Grant.

Steely Dan albums should move to another thread but I'll quickly say that if you can't find awesomeness in Aja, Gaucho or The Royal Scam then you're not going to like Steely Dan. (I am restricting myself to the three albums of theirs I actually own; Can't Buy A Thrill and Katy Lied are also awesome but I haven't heard either in about 25 years.)

If you just want a single album to try, you could do a lot worse than Katy Lied, which comes square in the middle of their career (or at least the original 1972-80 phase) -- it's a little smoother than some of the early rock stuff but not as offputting, perhaps, as the slick jazz sound on the later albums. (NB: I like pretty much everything the band's done, but I can see how someone might run away from them upon hearing a song like "Aja").

― jaymc, Thursday, October 23, 2008 2:06 PM (10 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thanks dudes

I gave my bf shit about owning a King Diamond album, and he recoiled at the presence of Patsy Cline's Greatest Hits but these are the atypical items in our respective collections ... though for the most part, he doesn't have really strong preferences and enthusiasms about music, so when he hates something, it's really entertaining to watch. I will occasionally play him things that I think are awful to see him react ...I think the last one was Brokencyde.

great relationship point^^^

bringing up something horrible or something that you like that you KNOW will disrupt your partner's life

(a jar opener that my weak wrists lurve--http://www.amazon.com/Amco-Swing-711BK-Comfort-Opener/dp/B000HMC5JA/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1252702992&sr=8-3)

lol I wrote a big post about steely dan in this thread a while ago and deleted it

we bond over the awfulness ... it's kinda the same impulse that leads you to call the other person into the room when there's a really bad smell or some gross bug.

mr. que maybe start w/ countdown to ecstasy because it is probably the easiest one to get into if you do not have smooth attuned ears yet

Whoah, your boyfriend is MacGyver! Seriously awesome.

the thing is, we actually know a guy who is sort of a real life MacGyver. This guy repaired a damaged speaker with a fuse from a 70s Volkswagen and stopped his car from overheating on his honeymoon with crushed up pinecones.

My girlfriend owns Phish and Ani DiFranco CDs, but since she doesn't really care about music as much as I do, she never even plays them; they're mostly just relics from college. When we first met, I worried that she wasn't artsy/creative enough -- she's way more of a career-oriented/business-minded person than I've ever been -- but I think we've found enough other shared interests: politics, restaurants, general outlooks on life. And more than that, I think we respect our differences, too: I think it's awesome that she's passionate about international non-profit work, for instance, even if it's not something that sparks my fire.

I should note, too, that it's not like we never have anything in common music-wise: in fact, a lot of times I'll play music around the apartment that she never would've heard about on her own but she ends up liking anyway (like the Knux or Santogold or Herbert), and then we can enjoy those artists together.

OK maybe that wasn't a great example but it was college and the guy in question didn't just own a Phish CD or two, he was a Phish person. You know what I mean.

I own several Ani DiFranco CDs that are relics from college but still get played on occasion. ha.

xp - oh yes I do! I am so sorry, ENBB.

ha thanks. lol college. iirc he had good pot and was a pretty good kisser so it wasn't ALL bad.

mr. steely dan on repeat was good in bed and witty and clever and drew good cartoons.

sarahel yr bf is more like accidental mcguyver? this would make a good lebowskiesque movie btw

2x xpost: lol college priorities

i'm trying to think of other examples of his accidental mcguyver-ness ... there have been a few.

girls just wanna have fun, party favors, orange juice and accidental McGuyverness

xp Ha, Erica, there was a Ani concert on PBS the other day, and my girlfriend did in fact watch most of it. It's cool. I'm probably also way less judgmental about people's music tastes as I would've been 10 years ago, when I screamed at my mom for feeding into capitalist, mass-market hegemony because she bought a Garth Brooks CD.

Your obnoxious self-righteous teenage self was otm.

LOL @ Garth Brooks rant.

To be fair I probably would have watched too if mainly out of nostalgia. One of my finer moments in life includes crying at an Ani concert because I was so damn *moved*. lol. I did make out with a pretty hot girl at another Ani show though so there is that. Yes, I've been to more than one Ani DiFranco concert - now you know the truth.

xp Dan: also a guy that can hold up his end of the photocopier he brought home that never worked and sat in the hallway for eight years before making its way downstairs to the dumpster.

Now my mom and I bond over Miranda Lambert, lol.

actually am seriously still RL lolling @ ripped-in-half teddy bear w/ disembodied ghost sensor inside randomly lying in middle of living room floor catching burglar btw

it was covered in tool dip, so it looked like it was coated with black tar ...

mad genius

Jaq got this nailed down within a couple of replies of the revive. Now its just pleasant nattering, afaics.

Never underestimate the power of bulkiness.

Now if I could only meet someone for whom my bulkiness is not a force of repulsion.