who'd you do?/who'd do you?

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What percentage of your friends (of the appropriate gender(s)) would you have sex with if they asked you (politely)?

What percentage do you think would have sex with you if you asked them (politely)?

― lithuania truffle, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I have yet to master asking politely for a fuck.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Nor me. Can someone please post when they have nailed this strategy.

Though the image it conjures is somewhere between Terry Thomas and Hugh Grant.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"My dear woman, could I tempt you to some intercourse?"

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

friends? other than one specific one, none of them. oh lord no.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

None. Sexual tension is not really a building block for platonic friendship now is it?

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

all of them and all of you

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

That's good, mark s - keeping an open mind and all...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"My dear woman, could I tempt you to some intercourse?"

I am *very* tempted to try this one at the weekend.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it would be even better if you walked up to a group of people already deep in conversation and said, "Pardon me. I am so sorry for interrupting you, but I need to make a proposition to this fine lady..."

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, to be truly chivalrous, you have to ask their father first.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

What if you don't fancy him?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Question #1: Approximately 90%

Question #2: Approximately 0.00000000001%

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Stupid friends

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh good I'm glad I'm not the only one who'd answer "Nearly all of them" to the first question.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Almost all of my male friends are married. Most of the ones who aren't are already sorted into the "god, no" category. Then there are the ones I've already shagged. And then there's Hilton. Males who I fancy enough to shag, but there's not a good reason not to... god, I don't stay friends with them! Fuck that, I don't need that kind of frustration in my life.

I'm not going to go into percentages, but in numbers:
Category A: 1
Category B: ... 0? ...

― KATE, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm totally off the market now, but back when I was single, Category A was probably something like 50%, and... I always assumed category B was 0%, but in retrospect the percentage was almost certainly in the low double digits.

― Douglas (Douglas), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Around half, of my old friends or my ILX friends; and very, very few (how would I know?).

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

(I suspect this thread will make future FAPs more interesting.)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

1. Around none

2. I suspect like,.. none.

― Mandee, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Martin, you could always ask (politely)!

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

haha the gender split in answers to the first question explains so much.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Should I just update the second half of my answer to "All of my male friends (with the exception of Hilton) probably would shag me" ? Then how come none of them WILL?

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

: /

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris, I am middle-aged, unattractive and oddly shaped, much older than just about everyone else: I am afraid of giving everyone nightmares. I'm not sure a thread entitled "So who wants to shag me then?" is what this board is for, either.

(It has also occurred to me that the second number is greater than zero, in that I have had sex with one of the friends I had in mind!)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

If I wasn't married, I'd TOTALLY start a "So who wants to shag me then?" thread.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

(Not that this surprises anyone.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Dammit, *I'd* start a "who wants to shag me, then?" thread, except it would be TOTALLY dead. Sigh...

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

(I suspect this thread will make future FAPs more interesting.)

Oh, they're already pretty interesting.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd ball each & every one of you if you asked me politely enough. Or if you asked at all. Hell, I'd do it no matter what. In fact- Wait there...

― Guerillas On The Piss, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I would fuck practically every woman I'm friends with under the age of 40 and a good percentage of the ones over 40. I would fuck them in the ass.

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, do you (a hot young blonde guitarist in a rock band) honestly think you'd get less takers than me (an elderly man in computing)? You absolutely cannot believe that.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

most of my female friends are ROWR.

however, I suspect they think I am anti-ROWR.

But that doesn't matter, as my cuddly friend is K-ROWR.

By the way, I love the premise of this thread, people politely asking for a shag: "Madam, what I am asking may appear somewhat forward, but I must request that you do me the singular honour of shagging me till I can't walk".

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Martin, I don't remember if I've seen a picture of you or not, but I'm going to assume that the "unattractive" part is self-deprication. But even if you are older than almost everyone else and oddly shaped, if you were to ask politely, then what could the problem be? If you asked impolitely and aggressively, then sure, that could be upsetting. But if you have a problem with being propositioned by someone you're not into, then, well, you have a problem!

And, anyways, that's the trick with this sort of thing: You never know. People don't always lust after the hot young guitarist just cause you're supposed to.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I just realized I haven't a clue in regards to EITHER side of the question.

That said, I'd date Kelly Osbourne in a second.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

People don't always lust after the hot young guitarist just cause you're supposed to.

Trust me. They don't. :-(

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I am learning this lesson, Kate.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, you obviously attract people who are too *shy* to make the first move.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris, I'm not seriously assuming that people would be unpleasant about it, but they don't want to be bothered by me! We all balance our desires for others and how well suited we think we'd be with the mutual unpleasantness of rejection, the ego-damage too much can do. But mainly, I tend to think that the odds of some person I find gorgeous finding me attractive are so remote that the odds aren't worth the pain and unease, especially if it's someone I will see often.

As for self-deprecation, no, not at all: that is how I see myself. There's a photo on my profile. Somehow, despite how I see myself, quite a few hot people have wanted me, so my view is not universal. This utterly mystifies me, but it's great.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

No, they're not shy, I'm just scary and intimidating and frightening and when I *do* make the first move they run in terror and say stupid things like "you don't want to have sex with me, I'm crap in bed!" Why do I *always* get this? Is this boy-slang for something I don't understand? I get it ALL THE TIME. OK, three men have said this to me. And the only one I ever took up on the offer turned out to be AMAZING in bed. So what am I supposed to think?

Please! Boys! Explain what "oh, no, I'm crap in bed" is supposed to mean.

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh no, I'm crap in bed" = "I'm afraid that you have so much more sexual experience than I do that after we do the do I will become a hilarious tour story for you to trot out to every other female musician out there, thus destroying my secret groupie fantasies in on e fell swoop and marking me as the awkward idiot who spent the whole evening trying to stick it in your butt nuts-first."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe you seem like someone who's vey demanding Kate?

looks around...good, no one here i know...i would with maybe 30% (females only). My historical record is about 50% of those i've actually attempted to with (females only). We're only talking pretty small numbers I've actually tried though. And i'd be nowhere near confident about trying again, I look at history and sometimes can't quite believe it. No confidence in estimating those who currently would.

Fallout has been mostly minimal.

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:17 (twenty-two years ago)

If I wasn't married, I'd TOTALLY start a "So who wants to shag me then?" thread.

Oh yeah, me too. I blame rampaging narcissm.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

But it would be awfully humiliating if you started a "So who wants to shag me then?" thread, and nobody replied.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

That's probably what would happen too! Just the sounds of crickets chirping.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

On the plus side, SCADS AND SCADS OF HOT CRICKET SEX!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

That sounded FAR too much to me like a dare, and you know how I respond to dares...

::crickets chirp::

(Though your explanation of "I'm crap in bed" fears makes an awful lot of sense... are boys really that insecure?)

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

YOU HAVE NO IDEA

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:44 (twenty-two years ago)

(of course, neither do I)

― Mr Lovah Lovah (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I actually wrote a post with a cricket sex joke, and then changed it to "(insert Dan Perry cricket sex joke here)," and then decided either one would be redundant with the inevitable deluge.

In other words, I am getting the hang of this.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

::looks at Martin's profile::

Oh, no, that's nothing like what I thought you looked like. (I was thinking grey haired, bespectacled, English-professory.) But that's also nothing like the horribly disfigured creature you represent yourself as.

I still say no one should feel bothered at being propositioned to once. And I can understand the ego-deflation of being turned down, but what about the ego-inflation of being accepted? It could happen.

(N.B. I am bracing myself for seeing the guy I've got a crush on tomorrow and trying to steel myself to maybe proposition something and also steeling myself to be rejected.)

In other news: Of course no one would respond to a "So who wants to shag me then?" thread -- you're still asking people to make the first move. Making the first move is scary. You need to name names: "Would any of the following people care to shag me: Kate, MsLaura, or any of the seventy-five Nicks". Then Kate knows you want to shag her, and if she feels similarly about you, she can be brazen.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I want to post, but answering the first part of the question would crash the server.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Argh, loads of people responded and some of them even in the affirmative, so now I feel like an idiot...

Except I'm watching Sex and the City and completely having a MOMENT. EXCEPT *SHE* GETS TO GET LAID AFTER HAVING HIM COMPLAIN ABOUT HER CHARACTERISATION OF HIM IN FICTION...

sigh.

"Would any of the following people care to shag me? Hilton Betelgeuse, Pliny the Adorable Soundman or the Cute Record Company Guy Who Reduces Me To Inarticulate Gooning In A Matter Of Moments?" would hvae made a clumbsy thread title, but it might have been more effective...

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, they also have to be ILXors for this to work. So unless Hilton was to delurk some more... but I guess you already know the answer to that one.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

But yesterday real life Hilton said that he'd shag me! Oh wait, this is probably what intimidates him so much, the fact that I would so obviously talk about it all over the place.

But I just felt really uncomfortable with the circumstances under which he'd offered... Oh, sigh. I've totally blown it now. :-(

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

U so crazy.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i have crushes on most of my friends, but if push came to shove, i wouldn't actually have sex with any of them. in fact i know of at least two friends of mine who would fuck me at the drop of a hat, but i ain't into it.

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait wait wait. Hilty was willing to tango and you turned him down? What were the uncomfy circumstances -- did he insist that the bass player get some too?

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

No, worse. It was just totally tacky careerist sex. Sure, it was a joke, but it was really kinda self esteem shredding.

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, I really shouldn't joke about it. I'm sorry. Why is it that saying that I don't want to talk to him or talk about him any more always makes me talk about him more? No, I mean it this time. Not talking about him any more.

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

OK.

Um, can we talk about careerist sex? I want to be in a position where people look to have sex with me to further their career. No, wait, I don't. No, wait... maybe. Probably not. Well, I don't know, it would be interesting for a day, at least.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Suzy and I were threatening to start a thread on this earlier today... I think it was brought up in the "women what are you looking for in a relationship?" thread. But we didn't because we both had to work.

It wasn't one of those groupie, shag you for who were are things, it was one of those icky shag you for what you can do for me things. I'm still weirded out about it.

Maybe we should have a careerist sex: have you ever done it, would you ever do it? thread?

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

how about sex which threatened to wreck your career?

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Been there, done that, got the souvenier condom, which broke at the most inopportune moment...

― kate, Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm..

Totally depends whether you take the ramifications into account

If not then

a) About 70%. Basically all the ones who don't fill me with an 'yeach' when I think about it. Mostly just for curiosity/hell of it, not many at all just cause I fancy them.

b) Err.. probably not many, though some might think the same as me about the curiosity/hell of it thing. I suppose there might be one or two would be particularly keen to, though they might be put off by the 'asking politely' thing. Maybe none. Dunno.

If I/they take into account ramifications:

a & b ) None.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmmmm...I guess I'd gladly shag about 30% of the men I know, and about 80% of the women. And those who would shag me? Probably about 60% of the men and about the same for the women, I'd imagine.

And I guess that I am just lucky to be female, in that I can approach men (and some women) and say something to the effect of "So, do you wanna come with me and have some fun?" and they don't run away, slap me, or otherwise act offended.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

do not assume it makes etc.

--I'd slap you, act offended and then run away.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

*laughing*

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd presume you were going to take me bowling or something

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 13 February 2003 04:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I love Drew Barrymore's line in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - "we can ball if ya want!"

More girls need to talk to me like that. Or possibly just two girls. At once. Yes.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 13 February 2003 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

hmm, 10%/100%

does that sound conceited? Nearly all of my friends are guys. Maybe I'm overgeneralizing the responses of men. . .

― That Girl (thatgirl), Thursday, 13 February 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think you sound conceited, considering the average answer to the first question from males on this thread is like 80%. Your friends are probably no different.

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Thursday, 13 February 2003 06:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I plead the 5th on this question, but I shall link http://www.intellectualwhores.com/foundations.html which i'm sure some of you know about

Oh and "oh no, i'm crap in bed" my also just mean "i don't know if i'll be able to get it u" just a possibiity

― Vic (Vic), Thursday, 13 February 2003 07:40 (twenty-two years ago)

get it up, "obviously" where's the typo thread?

― Vic (Vic), Thursday, 13 February 2003 08:35 (twenty-two years ago)

a good 70% for the first question, less than 10% for the second

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 13 February 2003 09:26 (twenty-two years ago)

There is no one of my acquaintance that I would like to have sex with (that I haven't slept with already).

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 13 February 2003 09:33 (twenty-two years ago)

NB I am not a ho.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 13 February 2003 09:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still bemused by the notion of asking for sex politely. Manners shouldn’t enter the fray. I'm much more likely to react to a more 'Drop 'em, bitch' approach.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 13 February 2003 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

That ladder theory actually made me laugh out loud. Except men have "friends" ladders too. Or maybe I'm deluding myself and I'm really in the "would f*ck drunk and lie about it after" part of the ladder. :-(

― kate, Thursday, 13 February 2003 09:39 (twenty-two years ago)

And boys do the Kiss Of Death, too. I GET IT ALL THE TIME.

Am I reading the wrong side of this article? Should I be reading the male side? No, cause I don't secretly want to f*ck all my male friends. Sigh.

― kate, Thursday, 13 February 2003 09:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Shite. The 'Drop 'em, bitch' comment makes me sound like a ho again.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 13 February 2003 09:41 (twenty-two years ago)

what specifically do you mean by the Kiss of Death, Kate?

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 13 February 2003 09:56 (twenty-two years ago)

'Could but don't want to.'

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 13 February 2003 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

ah. well, join the fucking club (other way round natch)

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 13 February 2003 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you saying I take it up the arse??

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 13 February 2003 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, see, I have issues with that Ladder Theory too, but generally speaking, from uh, most of the guys I know, it is too true. I think there's more evidence pointing towards how men probably don't have "Friends Ladders."

But like most guys, I am going to say that i am an Exception =)

The hilarious part is that the whole 'theory' was just made by some Californian average-guy/geek (can't decide which yet, the foto is too averaguyish, but the site is geeky). Did you read his livejournal?

― Vic (Vic), Thursday, 13 February 2003 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Kiss Of Death = "Sorry, but I don't think about you that way" = "I'd prefer that we kept things at a FRIENDSHIP level" = I'd never shag you in a million years, get back down in your place, toad.

If I had a dollar for every time you say, 'sorry but I don't think about you that way', doo doo dooo, doo doo doo

― kate, Thursday, 13 February 2003 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never propositioned a friend. Perhaps this is something I should investigate. I have a thing for, what you guys call, 'newbies'.

The fact that I don’t fancy *anyone* at the moment could cause me to rethink my policy of not shagging mates rather drastically if I find myself without a guaranteed shag!

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 13 February 2003 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Remember, Lara, alcohol can be the friend that re-introduces your friend to, um, you

― Vic (Vic), Thursday, 13 February 2003 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

There is no pressure to re-examine things quite yet, Vic. I'm merely thinking of contingencies.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 13 February 2003 11:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't want to shag any of my friends. I guess I just know them TOO well. Plus, just about everyone I know is married or otherwise taken.

As for others wanting to shag me... hmmm... I dunno. Probably no one. *sigh* But I have a bf anyway, so... Ask me on another day and I'll probably say EVERyone. I can be really heady sometimes.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 13 February 2003 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

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