Have you ever offered someone you know money to go out with you / have sex?

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If not, just how desperate and mental have you got?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I was so desperate once, that I asked this girl if I could buy her dinner, without even a guarantee of sex. I'm pathetic.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 13 February 2003 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I've picked up the bill, if that's what you mean...

― jm (jtm), Thursday, 13 February 2003 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Happy Valentine's day to you, too, N.

"Here's $50. Now please leave me alone and go find a hooker."

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 13 February 2003 03:16 (twenty-two years ago)

only as a joke

― duane, Thursday, 13 February 2003 06:55 (twenty-two years ago)

'unless youre gonna do it'

― minna (minna), Thursday, 13 February 2003 07:14 (twenty-two years ago)

we all do understand that I was joking right? Actually, one time I insisted on paying for dinner (I think I owed her from a lunch), the evening ended up all Dan Perry-ish, and yet she stuck a $20 in my coat on my way out. I felt like a whore.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 13 February 2003 07:16 (twenty-two years ago)

also, I'd like to promise that if I order the steak or a lobster or something, that I'll definitely put out.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 13 February 2003 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

spencer: you, me and tito's tacos friday @ 5:30pm. i think they have a steak taco.

― gygax!, Thursday, 13 February 2003 07:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Um very mental?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 13 February 2003 08:03 (twenty-two years ago)

no, just drunk posting, whoop!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 13 February 2003 08:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never offered someone I know money to go out or have sex with me.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 13 February 2003 09:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I know someone whose flatmate offered her money to have it off with him on his last night in the flat. She was quite embarrassed about it, so I was very sensitive and thoughtful and only fell off the chair laughing once.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Thursday, 13 February 2003 10:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. I was very drunk, and I think I was trying to prove a point. It was a GREAT DEAL of money. He turned me down flat and got very angry about it. It was possibly one of the most unpleasant shut-downs I've ever experienced.

― kate, Thursday, 13 February 2003 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't have any money.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Thursday, 13 February 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

no, I could be buying CD's you know.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 13 February 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

But how low would you go, huh? If you wanted it bad?

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 13 February 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

But I do want it bad.

― Graham (graham), Thursday, 13 February 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

So how low would you go?

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 13 February 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The clitoris.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 13 February 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

There's more good stuff lower, y'know.

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 14 February 2003 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

The kneecaps?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 14 February 2003 09:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I was thinking in-steps.

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 14 February 2003 09:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Are kneecaps good? I've never paid much attention to mine. My Mum always said they were too bony and that they looked like potatoes.

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 14 February 2003 09:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Like potatoes? Surely you jest! What an image!

Actually, a tongue behind the knee can be quite pleasant - and, when stroked right, the kneecaps can become eroticized - well, actually, at least for me, just about any body part can be eroticized.

Anyway, in-steps are excellent, too.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 14 February 2003 09:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm. I like insteps. I think if someone's tongue was behind my kneecap I'd be busying myself nudging their head upwards.

I'm Irish so potatoes feature a lot in our dialect. Mum thinks my knees look like knobbly spuds, bless 'er.

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 14 February 2003 09:43 (twenty-two years ago)

*laughing* Okay, I can now comprehend the potatoe reference - it's kind of endearing. And yeah, there is that problem of nudging the head upwards, but I have that problem pretty much with wherever their tongue happens to be *grin*

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 14 February 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Apparently someone thinks I will, as my inbox was filled with 5 different spam emails asking "Need an escort?".

I don't think I ever could, it would just be an admission of neediness and desperation I couldn't bring myself to make. Plus, poverty is a good deterrent too.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 14 February 2003 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Define "sex"

― Candidia, Friday, 14 February 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

There is one very hilarious thing on this thread.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 02:47 (seventeen years ago)

it involves a great deal of laughter

― omar little, Friday, 9 November 2007 02:49 (seventeen years ago)

It is present to be loled about.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:02 (seventeen years ago)

I have no memory of, or explanation for, starting this thread.

― Alba, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:03 (seventeen years ago)

Perhaps it was an imposter?

― roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:04 (seventeen years ago)

Yes, that was probably it.

― Alba, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:05 (seventeen years ago)

Actually, thinking about it, it probably was me. I think the follow-up question was key.

― Alba, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:06 (seventeen years ago)

it's surprising you didn't indignantly point that out at the time. xp

― estela, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:07 (seventeen years ago)

I don't think that need be a crosspost. I'm surprised that I didn't indignantly point out that people weren't addressing the follow-up question. Perhaps it was a strategy of mine.

― Alba, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:11 (seventeen years ago)

It seems you kinda ignored the thread after starting it, anyway.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:15 (seventeen years ago)

Until now, that is.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:15 (seventeen years ago)

I still have nothing really to offer. I don't really want to talk about my desperation and mental torment.

― Alba, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:18 (seventeen years ago)

i have a concerned expression on my face now.

― estela, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:20 (seventeen years ago)

roxymuzak was there!

― chaki, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:45 (seventeen years ago)

the evening ended up all Dan Perry-ish

WTF did Spence mean by this? hahahah!

― Trayce, Friday, 9 November 2007 05:22 (seventeen years ago)

Vulgar, perhaps? Haw.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 05:28 (seventeen years ago)

xpost

I'm not sure!

― Spencer Chow, Friday, 9 November 2007 08:12 (seventeen years ago)

I think there may have been another thread going or maybe it was just referring to Dan "Centipedes?" Perry in general???

― Spencer Chow, Friday, 9 November 2007 08:13 (seventeen years ago)

I still have nothing really to offer.

perhaps some more extracts from the alba diaries?

― Bob Six, Friday, 9 November 2007 08:15 (seventeen years ago)

I bought someonee donut once, so that she would, you know.

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Friday, 9 November 2007 11:45 (seventeen years ago)

but she refused, because I cannot spell.

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Friday, 9 November 2007 12:26 (seventeen years ago)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2324/1932748383_b8c3cf0f30_o.jpg

― Rubyredd, Friday, 9 November 2007 12:30 (seventeen years ago)

Once with a very good friend, late at night after a long night of drinking, we were sitting at a bar in the Village. I was desperate. I sort of halfway asked her if she wanted to go home and "have some fun". To her credit she thought this was hilarious and laughed it off. In fact, she thought it was so funny she has repeated this story to mutual friends of ours, in my presence, MANY MANY times.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 9 November 2007 12:44 (seventeen years ago)

I have no memory of, or explanation for, starting this thread.

You're N*ck D******?

― Heave Ho, Friday, 9 November 2007 12:52 (seventeen years ago)

Hmm..there's a certain cruelty in her telling that story though.

Basically it implies that the very notion of you getting jiggy with her is 'so not gonna happen' that the very idea of it is hilarious.

― Bob Six, Friday, 9 November 2007 12:54 (seventeen years ago)

It wasn't quite like that. We are genuinely good friends and I don't think she thinks that way about me (that I'm "so not in her league" or something). Or maybe it is, and I'm kidding myself.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 9 November 2007 12:56 (seventeen years ago)

she probably made a big joke out of it to put you at ease, so you wouldn't feel embarrassed or awkward, and therefore it wouldn't taint the friendship. i've pulled that trick before after a couple of good male friends drunkenly (and only halfheartedly) put the moves on me.

― Rubyredd, Friday, 9 November 2007 12:58 (seventeen years ago)

it's possible to be in her league, looks-wise, *and* it be a 'never gonna happen' thing.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 9 November 2007 13:00 (seventeen years ago)

No couples ever do this for flirtatious fun? I assume that doesn't count then?

― moley, Friday, 9 November 2007 13:00 (seventeen years ago)

lol dowry amirite.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 9 November 2007 13:02 (seventeen years ago)

Ruby that's precisely what she did - and yes it was "so not gonna happen", the whole idea was ridiculous and would have made things needlessly stupid between us.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 9 November 2007 13:03 (seventeen years ago)

one of my best male friends and i were drunkenly talking one night about our awesome friendship, and i was all "you're a hot guy, but you're like a bro - i could never fuck you", and he was all "you're a hot girl, and like a sis - but i'd still fuck you".

― Rubyredd, Friday, 9 November 2007 13:10 (seventeen years ago)

Heave Ho - yes. Though the point of changing my ILE email address and screen name was that people wouldn't use my full name and make threads like this googleable. It's my fault for making the connection, though. I shall make a mod forum request to star it out above.

― Alba, Friday, 9 November 2007 13:12 (seventeen years ago)

How come your surname is farsi for "constitution"?

― Heave Ho, Friday, 9 November 2007 13:27 (seventeen years ago)

Yeah, how come, "Nick" - if that IS your real name.

― Mark C, Friday, 9 November 2007 13:28 (seventeen years ago)

Is it? It's a Parsi name and was always told it meant "high priest".

xpost

― Alba, Friday, 9 November 2007 13:29 (seventeen years ago)

how come bad things happen to good people?

― Ronan, Friday, 9 November 2007 13:49 (seventeen years ago)

i had to practically beg this girl to go to dinner with me just so i could use these gift cards to this fancy steakhouse before they expired

― the sir weeze, Friday, 9 November 2007 14:02 (seventeen years ago)

I am relatively certain that I did not end up in Spencer's date's vagina that evening. I can't speak for the centipedes.

― HI DERE, Friday, 9 November 2007 17:01 (seventeen years ago)

i been offered money before and very seriously considered it (I LOVE MONEY FOR REAL GUYS) but never went thru w/ it (not gay enuf)

― Will M., Friday, 9 November 2007 17:12 (seventeen years ago)

Heave Ho, you are the single creepiest guy to ever be on ILE.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 18:05 (seventeen years ago)

And that's what you call a dubious honor.

― roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 18:05 (seventeen years ago)

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y162/Stevenolli/award_creep.jpg

― chaki, Friday, 9 November 2007 18:07 (seventeen years ago)

Roxy u r insane

― Heave Ho, Friday, 9 November 2007 19:04 (seventeen years ago)

show me some proof you found months ago on the internet, plz

― roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 19:07 (seventeen years ago)

shes just saying what everyone's thinking

― chaki, Friday, 9 November 2007 19:08 (seventeen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/kenjuggle2/DCP_3752.jpg

― ken c, Sunday, 11 November 2007 16:01 (seventeen years ago)

haw

― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 11 November 2007 16:27 (seventeen years ago)

That's not very nice

― Mark C, Sunday, 11 November 2007 17:13 (seventeen years ago)

ive often thought about doing this with an ex. i think it could backfire tragically but after a certain amount of time, hey, its worth the risk. plus, life can be boring sometimes and risking tenuous/barely-there-anymore relationships are sometimes worth the trouble.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Sunday, 11 November 2007 18:11 (seventeen years ago)

(worth the trouble meaning 'worth the entertainment')

― titchyschneiderMk2, Sunday, 11 November 2007 18:13 (seventeen years ago)

YES!!!

Thank you, Ken!!!!

xoxoxoxoxo

I have been looking for that picture forever and a day.

Damn, I used to be richer. And drunker.

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 11 November 2007 18:32 (seventeen years ago)

whoa benjamins

― mookieproof, Sunday, 11 November 2007 19:00 (seventeen years ago)

and abrahams!

― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 11 November 2007 19:22 (seventeen years ago)

In fact, she thought it was so funny she has repeated this story to mutual friends of ours, in my presence, MANY MANY times.

your friend is mean.

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Monday, 12 November 2007 17:33 (seventeen years ago)

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