So I went to take out the trash the other night and...("next-door" sex, C or D?)

Emma's got brothers who are 16 and 10, se we try to be quiet at her house.

but seriously, that really would freak me out.

Avtually, I just remembered, this wasn't the first time, since my freshman year I heard my next door neighbour, this chick, shlupping her frat-boy realy loudly on Valentine's Night, just on the other side of the wall from me (our beds were just separated by the wall, and it was thin). I couldn't stand the moaning so i actally knocked the wall in frustration at one point, and then I just heard a veery loud TV click on, which must've been their solution. I hate February

But at 8AM on a Saturday morning, that's when lover boy got going. It shocked us the first time we heard him - it sounded like he was in pain. What the fuck was she doing to him to make those sounds? Was that pain or pleasure or both? Lots of unsavoury images came to mind. And she was always completely silent. Did she not enjoy it as much? Did she realise people could hear him and stayed silent from embarrassment? If that was the case, the fact that she carried on doing what she was doing obviously meant she loved him.

It was generally very funny. You could even hear him from the garden, so I'm sure we weren't the only ones who could hear. The only times it got annoying were when they actually managed to wake us up with the volume. Then they moved the main bedroom so it wasn't directly above us and we couldn't hear him so much - I'm sure that was because she knew.

But when you share a house or apartment with people, it's kind of a given that you're going to hear that sort of thing. Unless it's a convent, and even then you can't be sure.

I have shared houses, halls of residence, blocks of flats etc etc with loads of people for the last 12 years and have still never heard anything!! I feel so left out.

For the others, certainly. For me, it was more a matter of finding the earplugs.

*THUMP* "IIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!"
*THUMP* "AAAAAAAAIIIIIEEE!"
*THUMP* "WAAAAAAAAAAAIIEE!"

We couldn't tell if they were fucking or if he was smacking her around with a phone book. We finally decided that he must have been climbing on top of the dresser next to the bed and taking flying leaps at her.

Have I told the story here about how when I lived next door to Joe DiMaggio's nephew he would have his girlfriend over and then cover up the sex noise with either (a) Thriller or (b) various Rocky soundtracks? With Thriller I would just think "to each his own" and shudder a little but what kind of horrible person can have sex with the Rocky theme playing?

So that's what I've been hearing.

"Getting strong now!"

Or trying.

Okay, so I lived in a little apartment building in an "iffy" part of town. Above me lived a nice-but-quite-conservative Muslim family from Jordan, who were the only people that were kinda friendly to me in the building. My g/f at the time...total nympho. She required me to work out and take a strange supplement of herbs and build up this absurd endurance and, well, she was also a screamer. Not just "oh"s and "ah"s, but, like, all sorts of profanities and declarations...it was quite dramatic. As I knew their bedroom was right above mine, well, they heard it.

For a very brief time (a week or two) during this period of shagolympics, whenever I saw them (the Muslim couple upstairs), they would react thusly: either the husband or wife would get a funny little grin, then they'd look at each other and look away. I wasn't sure what to think of this.

Then, after about a week or two, they stopped looking away. They would just grin and give me an all-too-knowing look. It was also about this time that I began hearing them in similar moments...the wife in particular, though I only heard her speak about 3 times in person, man once she got going she was a screamer too. There's nothing quite like hearing a woman moaning in pleasure in Arabic.

Did you scatter some cedar chips around?

We did Renuzit the fuck out of the bathroom, though.

"For a bathroom smell, open WIIIIIIIIIIIDE!"

Also when I was in Boston, the girl with the room above mine would have her boyfriend over quite a bit. I would start to hear small pounding noises and eventually it would escalate into loud springy noises and finally huge thumps, puntuated the whole time by her moans and his occasional short grunts. What was worst was that myself and my housemates were on workaday schedules and everyone else in the building (it seemed) were students so this would happen at 3 or 4 AM.

One summer night the sex began again, only their window was open and it was much louder and clearer than usual-- and what's more it could be heard not just by me, but by an entire adjacent apartment building. When she climaxed with a ear-piercing moan, there was a brief moment of silence and then several people in the apartment building across the way began clapping. I heard the window in the room upstairs slam shut.

What about those "smell my toilet" ads? Happy housewife or dominatrix seeking toilet slaves?...You decide.

Amateurist, he wouldn't mind getting naked in front of you and having intercourse while you are right there is unbelievable enough, but in front of company, is just plain wrong. good story.

I'm curious about this slightly different sex to which you refer.

Awww. Young luv. And they say romance is dead. It reminds me of a Doncaster story which has no place in this thread as it is more gross than noise. But I digress.

The next morning at breakfast, his mother thanked them for the show and told the story of how she and her first husband used to go at it all night long when they were first married.

At a high school graduation party I attended, after a long night of parting I, like others, crashed in the living room on the floor. After an hour or so of lying there and trying to sleep, I began to hear the noises of intercourse. The male was interspersing his groans and grunts with little phrases that were cheesier than fondue. Among the many things he said: "Let me be your fantasy" (no, he was not a fan of Baby D's rave record of the same name) and... wait for it... "Come on! It will only take a minute!".

As I sat there listening (what else could I do?), I realized that the girl involved was the girlfriend of the host of the party. The boy with the minute-steak was not the host of the party. Also, I guessed correctly that I was not the only person to hear this. the next day, I informed my friends, and we left early in the morning before the shit hit the fan.

Ah-HAH! did you leave town? or did you stay?

I'm just as guilty of this as the next person, of course, and found everyones' stories here very amusing. Sadly, the only stories I have to contribute all include myself as the offending party, so I'll have to pass.

I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.I dunno, I mean yes, i was turned on a little, but I was also clearly freaed out. I went home and started watching Lou Dobb's Moneyline, I think.

I cannot take credit for "bootyflakes"