Things people say to the television

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1) I wish David Palmer was the REAL President!

stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 February 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

2) Is that Leslie Ash?! What the fuck happened?!

stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 February 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

people keep saying leslie ash looks all fucked and weird now all of a sudden. can someone post a link to a pic. i want to see!

gareth (gareth), Monday, 17 February 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_736956.html?menu

Sam (chirombo), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

3) When are they going to show that Tatu video again?

Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

4) FUCKING HAMMER IT! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

5) sez Elvis:
http://grinningelvis.com/images/tv.gif

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

6) Berlin! Berlin! It's Berlin, you mupp - oh, alright, it's Amsterdam, then. Look, isn't there anything better on?

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

6) ohhhh i'm not sure i've seen THIS episode (during the couch bit in the Simpsons title)

stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"Is that a man or a woman?"

person over 65, during Top Of The Pops

stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

"ha ha ha Cousin Larry/Fred from Roseanne/ Louis DiMucci from Grease is on Law and Order AGAIN"

rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

shut up!

Maria (Maria), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"it's 'ULAY'!"

- my during american oil of 'OLAY' commercials.

"it's 'Herbal'!"

-during american 'erbal essences commercials.

"i've been there"

- my dad whenever the albert hall's on tv.

andy

koogs (koogs), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh GOD, my wife and I are INSUFFERABLE when we play the "I've been there" game.

(Notre Dame comes up)
WIFE: I've sung there.
(Westminister Abbey comes up)
ME: I've sung there.
(Conzertgebauw comes up)
WIFE: We sang there!
ME: Yes we did.
(Any major concert hall in Japan comes up)
ME: Odds are I've sung there, but I can't really remember.
WIFE: Drunk.

Etc etc...

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

'surely Sarah Greene doesn't have to do this?'

(life insurance ad on daytime MTV last year)

stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Rosemary, don't forget that Louis DiMuccci was in Grease TWO!

Mandee, Monday, 17 February 2003 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Ooops, that's what I meant to write, Mandee.

rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 17 February 2003 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"eeh, they do advertise"

My grandma a few years ago, on a Christmas day. She didn't elaborate and I preferred it that way.

chris (chris), Monday, 17 February 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha! Hector's House! ha ha!

stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 February 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Bloody hell, when is this match gonna finish? (Saturday, 12th minute of injury time in England vs France)

We want a punch up (me and my dad, during 12th minute of injury time)

jel -- (jel), Monday, 17 February 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"hang on, if she sleeps with HIM surely its incest?"

(average episode of Eastenders)

stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 February 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"is that Geoff Thomas?" - my Dad, on any programme filmed in NZ and some from overseas

isadora (isadora), Monday, 17 February 2003 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess if I was gonna fuck a man....Christopher Meloni...sure, okay

James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 17 February 2003 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh GOD, my wife and I are INSUFFERABLE when we play the "I've been there" game.

Me too!

I also tend to respond to offensive commercials or talking heads with various, as Gary Trudeau would say, obscene gerunds.

And when a guy from my college circles of friends shows up in a commercial (happens every once in a while) I utter assorted exclamations of surprised delight.

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 17 February 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Me: I hate him!
Him: Who?
Me: That bloody f*cking idiot that's talking - look, he can't even pronounce (terrorist, terror, America, etc.) correctly! He's an illiterate pig!
Him: Yeah, but you American's decided you were intimidated by Gore's intelligence.
Me: I wasn't! And Gore won anyway.
Him: No he didn't.
Me: Yes he did - Bush just stole it. God, he's still babbling! And look at those damn words behind him - it's like they assume that the audience is too stupid to understand the topic - or that he's such a sh*tty speaker that no one can follow his logic! It's insulting!
Him: Yep. *yawn*
Me: Wait, it's that other f*ucking idiot now! Listen to him - God, he's such an ass.
Him: Why's he an ass?
Me: 'Cause he is - don't ask me now, I gotta listen to this bastard and scream at the TV when he says stuff that's blatantly untrue.
Him: That's really annoying.
Me: Then go watch in another room.
Him: Can't you just stop yelling at the screen.
Me: No.
Why we no longer watch the news together - now I watch from my bedroom, with the door closed, except for when I get pissed enough to stomp out into the main part of the house to vent more loudly.

I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 17 February 2003 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

[whilst forcing male housemates to watch Sex In The City]

Silence


Silence

Doug: "No I can't belive she's getting back together with him!"
Steve: "Yeah, he was such a shit!"

Shocked pause.

Deep masculine silence.

"The blonde one's got great tits though."

Anna (Anna), Monday, 17 February 2003 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

CHARLOTTE I LOVE YOU! *swoon*

James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 17 February 2003 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"fuck you, america's cup, i want CRICKET COVERAGE!"

di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 18 February 2003 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

"Is this Farscape, Andromeda, SG1 or Enterprise? oh who gives a fuck what else is on?"

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 18 February 2003 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"hey this isnt that bad actually" (Liquid News)

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 18 February 2003 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh my god, Sarah Wynter looks *exactly* like my beloved Cate Blanchett from this angle."

Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 18 February 2003 02:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"This is really stupid, why am I laughing?" - during "The Sketch Show"
"YOU RIPPED THAT OFF FLYING CIRCUS!" - any recent aus/brit sketch comedy.
"This confirms my theory that all ad execs are on crack" - during most ads. But particularly that Cadburys one where everything was made out of chocolate. That was weird.
"You think I can't tell this is dubbed!?!?!" - during any shitty US commercial we get that is dubbed badly with Aus accent, making it look like a bad kungfu movie.

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 18 February 2003 02:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"They can't hear you, you know" - my dad, to my mum every time she watches "Days of Our Lives" and tells the characters what to do.

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 18 February 2003 02:20 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...
Veet?! haha, what kinda name is Veet? i preferred Immac

is that Meera Syal doing the voiceover on the Orbit gum 'Jelly People' advert?

phwoar (Tanya from Big Brother)

do you think he ever changes that outfit ever? god he must stink (Later With Jools Holland)

stevem (blueski), Friday, 13 June 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Someone you know said phwoar at Tanya!?

RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 13 June 2003 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

"Some time this millennium?" --me, when a commercial break or technical difficulty is taking longer than I believe to be necessary.

j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 13 June 2003 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

"Why the hell are you surprising HER?? It's SHE who said SHE wanted to surprise HIM for the first bloody time in ages!!! SHE'S had ENOUGH with surprises!!! God." -- my reaction to the one "Ground Force" ep I'm not pleased with, when they went to the Isle of Jersey

"Ooh, I hope it [a severe thunderstorm] comes this way. I hope hope hope it comes this way. But they can keep the tornadoes. I don't want tornadoes." -- my reaction to the currently ongoing special weather report

"Who gives a damn about this kind of thing anyway? This is giving me a headache." -- me whenever I'm forced to watch "Entertainment Tonight" or some similar program

Dee the Lurker (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 13 June 2003 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Someone you know said phwoar at Tanya!?

i'm just filling the void vacated by dearly departed Calum...i would 'hit it' tho, as they say

stevem (blueski), Friday, 13 June 2003 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Heard in my crib:

No fucking way!

That can't be real!

Where's the replay when you need it?

juju beans, Friday, 13 June 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oooh, stop doing the sex thing and get back to the epic drama bit!"

(my friend whilst watching The Forsythe Saga)

Lara (Lara), Friday, 13 June 2003 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i usually just give it the fingers

duane, Saturday, 14 June 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Chocolate or fudge?

Lara (Lara), Saturday, 14 June 2003 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

fish or sponge?

stevem (blueski), Saturday, 14 June 2003 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)

subthread: things ppl yell at the remote control

"you li'l fucker, where are you?!"

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 14 June 2003 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"fuck you, James Taylor!"

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 14 June 2003 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

dad @ any televised sport* = "What the hell kinda call was that!?! THE BALL WAS IN!"

*my dad considers lots of stuff 'televised sports'; both styles of football (real and American), basketball, snowboarding, golf, fly fishing, bowling, etc.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Saturday, 14 June 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)


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