Minicab Horror Stories

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Twunts. Do they think we have MUG tattoed on our foreheads, trying on fares of £12 to go one postcode (WC2 -> WC1) in a clapped-out Nissan with dodgy exhaust which smells like a cocktail of Old Spice, carbon monoxide and BO?

I have other tales of highway robbery, but tell me yours first

― suzy, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Camden to Brixton was £28 on a Sunday morning once. Also, it's a bit unprofessional when they tell you a cab is 'on its way in 20 minutes', you call them back in an hour and they tell you the same thing, then an hour after THAT you call them and they say "Sorry, we don't have any drivers at the moment"

― dave q, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Beats having your friend driving you to the aeroport in his old car. It was probably one of the first cars roling out of the Mercedes factory. I was afraid to touch the door, fearing it would break off. Then again having a cab driver talk about his holistic (?) rocks while he was looking at me in the back is probably worse.

― nathalie, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

OK, y'know the cartoon taxi-driver of legend. Well, in 20 years I never got him once. One that was afraid to drive to Shacklewell as it was "a bad area"; and one that said, during some complicated rerouting cuz of a bombscare [broad cockney], "You know, if I was Irish I'd probably plant bombs." Otherwise no one even talks to me.

― mark s, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The last time I was in a taxi the driver said to me 'did you see all those protests in Genoa on the telly, don't you think it's a load of old nonsense?'

and as he was a) scary and b) driving like an absolute madman, I mumbled something inoffensive.

then, apropos of nothing, he said 'don't you think footballers get paid far too fuckin' much?' to which I replied '!'

― clive, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Heard a good story from a friend the other day, who apparently was once overcharged (so he thought) by a cab driver and in his drunken and pissed off state, got out the taxi without paying.

Well, attempted to get out. He told the cabbie to fuck off, the cabbie grabbed him, he turned and put out his cigarette between the cabbie's eyes. Lovely.

― Ally C, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hahaha

in the provinces (sheffield) mini cabs are licenced and have computers which tell them how much to charge them (its never more than 4 quid)

worst taxi thang is trying to get a taxi a liverpool street after 11pm. You will not get one unless you one to get to one of the holes that taxi drivers crawl from (essex).

I hate black cab drivers. When I used to cycle round london I got knocked offf my bike 3 times by black cabs and their arrogant fuckwit drivers ( all three lost their public carriage licences)

― Ed, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Blimey, you've all had some bad luck. I love taxis (when I can afford them). Black cabs even more so. I've made a couple of quite close friends as a result of travelling in them and starting nattering to the drivers. Yes, London ones are pricey. But at least, usually, the drivers know the destination and the directions (unlike, say, New York)

― T Traherne, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I expect nothing less from the People's Republic of South Yorkshire!

Liverpool Street tip: as long as trains are still running, go to the taxi rank INSIDE the station. Taxis collecting fares at the station (any station) HAVE to take you where you are going, which includes south of the bastard Thames.

Has anyone had a bad experience with those 'listening devices' that are in a lot of cabs? Once when being driven completely the wrong way home I commented to a friend on the idiocy of going that direction and the driver went ballistic and chucked us out. At one AM. No sir, while the meter runneth (over), it's OUR CAB.

― suzy, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The "car services" as we say in my neck of the woods are run by Muslims. This is usually a plus, as the language/culture barrier precludes weather/sports conversations, and I have been handed several interesting cassettes on religious themes which I caertainly would not have acquired otherwise. But one day -- I called for a car to the airport, to arrive in say, half an hour. No one even answered. I called again and again, numerous companies, multiple numbers per. Finally a distracted-sounding kid answered one of the phones and clued me in: everyone was PRAYING. Sheesh. I hope they prayed for more sympathetic customers than me - I schlepped my stuff to the curb and out to Flatbush where I found a yellow cab that got me to LaGuardia for $18.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 3 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

With the more um, "unique" cabs, the way forward is to beat them to asking what the fare is. So for ejemplo, I know the going rate to Brixton is £8. So you pre-empt the "that's 12 quid please funny lady with an accent ho ho RIP EM OFF" by offering them a fiver first. And if they don't like it, make your phone ring and answer it "Basher Hamilton 'ere, WOTCHOO WANT YER CAAHNT". Cab driver will be so scared he shall drive off at great speed and you are QUIDS IN.

Most offensive of all is the annoying Yankee in New York cabs who tells you to wear yr seatbelt. Is that what he's saying? It's VERY irritating. Don't you NYC-ers feel patronised?

― Sarah, Monday, 3 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sarah, of course I ask what the fare is first. And even at despatch offices where they give a quote beforehand (stand up, formerly brilliant Hoxton Cars) the driver tries to wheedle an extra few quid and calls you a variety of tasty names when you don't silently pay up £8 for being taken from one end of EC1 to the other. One guy from this service threatened to drive me back to the office if I didn't pay up that much for what everyone knows is £4 in a BLACK cab. So I had to make up a load of spontaneous bullshit about what constitutes false imprisonment, how skilfully I'd have him done for it, and what my friends at Time Out would have to say.

Also, fuckers who inch up the meter by stopping streets away from where you tell them to, as if deaf to requests to pull up to the bumper, baby.

― suzy, Monday, 3 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Grace Jones..............

― Ronan, Monday, 3 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sarah, please do not take my name in vain in order to get taxis. The last cab I got was on Brick Lane. Me: How much to Crouch End? Driver: 15 quid. Me: But it's only a tenner from Old Street! Driver: 15 quid. Me:Oh what the fuck, I want to get home.

The driver then gets me in his cab and says 'how do you get there then?'. So he totally invented a fare not even knowing where he was going! Could someone please invent an imaginary part of London and see how much cab drivers charge to go there as I would guess 15 quid is the standard 'dunno where that is' fare.

― Emma, Monday, 3 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

When I was on holidays all the taxis were run by the Russian mafia, they charged extortionate prices so we only got one once having made sure of the price before. Also they drove like lunatics and had mullets.

― Ronan, Monday, 3 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I like taking cabs when they are paid for by work. At my last job I used go to various embassies to get visas for my boss, who had an Indian passport, so I took cabs from Mornington Crescent to Kensington quite regularly and it was a highly enjoyable waste of a morning. At three o'clock in the morning, black cabs are sooooooo cheaper than mini cabs. I was once offered £11 to get home from Highbury & Islington station so I scoffed at him, flagged down a black cab and payed £4.50 instead.

My worst cab experience was when my driver turned up late, it was his first day and he didn't know how to get to Victoria Station. I mean, really. I didn't quite miss my flight.

― Madchen, Monday, 3 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

six years pass...

http://www.passado.com.br/ntc/fotos/eva_peron.jpg

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 3 March 2008 10:43 (seventeen years ago)

I hate black cab drivers.

-- Ed, Sunday, 2 September 2001 01:00 (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

RACISM CONTROVERSY~!

― That mong guy that's shit, Monday, 3 March 2008 10:48 (seventeen years ago)

He hated Pakistanis a whole nine days before everyone else.

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 3 March 2008 10:50 (seventeen years ago)

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9481/londonxa3.jpg

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 3 March 2008 10:51 (seventeen years ago)

I think it is absolutely disgusting and primitive that in this day & age, in the country's capital city, drivers of unmarked cars without meters are allowed to transport fare paying passengers, something which is not allowed elsewhere in the country. Livingstone should so force them to become proper taxis and be done with it.

― Grandpont Genie, Monday, 3 March 2008 11:27 (seventeen years ago)

^^^

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9481/londonxa3.jpg

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 3 March 2008 11:29 (seventeen years ago)

They're not unmarked any more. The proper ones have little TFL stickers in their windows.

― Masonic Boom, Monday, 3 March 2008 11:32 (seventeen years ago)

well they need big signs. And meters!

― Grandpont Genie, Monday, 3 March 2008 11:32 (seventeen years ago)

They don't need meters, you just have to hire one in advance, and make sure you agree the fare with the person in the call centre before you get in the cab.

The ones I use have satnav which I like a lot. I like watching the map tick by as we take these amazing shortcuts.

― Masonic Boom, Monday, 3 March 2008 11:35 (seventeen years ago)

ILikeWhereThisCabIsGoing.jpg

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 3 March 2008 11:36 (seventeen years ago)

Don't ever book a cab with radio taxis (prominently advertised on the side of many black cabs). Especially not if you're going somewhere like an airport or train station would actually quite like a cab to arrive, instead of them calling up and telling you "we're trying to find a driver", 10 minutes before and again 30 minutes after you were due to leave.

― ledge, Monday, 3 March 2008 14:31 (seventeen years ago)

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