Gareth and Tim H. in NYC FAP: Mar. 15 (Beware the Ides of March)

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Dust off your rave classics, get out that Clientele record, these London boys are in town and demand the pleasure of our company. Where to? LES? Or Siberia for a change of pace and some midtown action -- how is it on Sat. nights Jen? As Gareth says, "Make suggestions!"

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I say we rent a boat.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"well, well, hopkins on a boat my dear, isn't it delicious!"

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Bah. If it weren't the busiest weeks work for me I'd be there like a shot. (ie Wildly inaccurate and hurting innocent bystanderz).

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Gareth and Tim together? *weeps* I know Gareth is visiting the West Coast but dammit, TIM BETTER BE BACK FOR JULY 4. That is all.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

hey man, even i didnt know;)

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

At some point, surely! :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, none of that hey man stuff round here, you're not there yet.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Hate to scare you all, but I might be able to attend this one (and vote for Siberia or Bellevue around the corner, as I believe BOTH have Killing Joke on the jukebox....or at least did.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

to the boats!!

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

(couldn't resist, sorry)

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather go to Siberia than Bellvue.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather go anywhere than the LES, we've been doing that forever now.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Queens!

― hstencil, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(Psst Tim when are you back from NYC? Before the 21st?)

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a rumour that Siberia and Bellevue are secretly connected via some tunnel action.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Cool, I'll be there. Wherever there is. If I haven't thrown myself under a bus by then.

― rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

If I haven't thrown myself under a bus by then.

No!!!!

― hstencil, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, uh, rosemary that would be awful!

― hstencil, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Rosemary....don't do that.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

:-(

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

dont do that rm!!

i will be there!! honor the fire fuXoRz

― geeta (geeta), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't miss honoring the fire.

― rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

if I ever went to NYC, I'd want a Coney Island FAP. This is probably mentalism.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

You can FAP with Russians.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus With Me FAP!

― hstencil, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Siberia is much larger than Bellevue, all the better to accommodate this gang. They even have stackable plastic chairs for extra seating, which is a bit odd but also a good idea. And both jukeboxes (one on each floor) are indeed excellent.

Damn, are we actually going to have a FAP in midtown? I'll be able to just walk over (and stumble back)?

― Jen (nstop), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

CONEY ISLAND FAP WOULD BE THE GREATEST THING IN HISTORY GODDAMNIT.

I'd go to Queens, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Midtown, Uptown, fucking Yonkers dude. I'm just tired of the LES.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

CONEY ISLAND FAP WOULD BE THE GREATEST THING IN HISTORY GODDAMNIT.

Can we do that sometime in July, then? Or would that be too crowded?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

WE'RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER BOAT

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm so bo - o - ored of the L - E - S"

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd go to Queens, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Midtown, Uptown, fucking Yonkers dude. I'm just tired of the LES.

Haha Ally you never even come to FAPs anymore!

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

(and then they were too bored to all LES up)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

how sad

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I came to the last one! I have been working so much I cannot come at all but now I have said "fuck it!" and do not work at all anymore! I'd come to more FAPs if they were in places besides LES, I promise. LES is a pain in the ass to get to 90% of the time (I HAD TO CLIMB A 4 FOOT SNOW DRIFT THAT WAS UNPLOWED, IN STILETTOS, LAST FAP! THIS WAS A DISASTER OF MONUMENTAL PROPORTIONS!), all those other areas are somehow more convenient to get to, so I could work late, go to a FAP, and get back in a reasonable amount of time. There are nights when a FAP in Hoboken would be easier for me to get to than one on Orchard Street.

That's my sad story and I am telling it walking, don't worry.

Though I did just open up an immense opportunity for destroying New Jersey.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

do not worry ally, we are strking out for the midtown!

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe someone should have a PARTY at their PLACE instead of this beery flailing?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

("striking out for the midtown"! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather have beery flailing at a bar than at my place. Someone else cleans it up, yo. (Plus my place is hella small and my roommates are slobs.)

― hstencil, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I would consider throwing a party at my house, but then we'd be LESing it up again and Ally would start fucking shit up. Sadly I doubt I can make the 3/15 gala 'cause I have some baseball dorking out to do. Hahah I'm lame.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

baseball dorking?

― hstencil, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I believe Tracer Hand just invited us to his palacial 2-story apartment WITH A BACKYARD in Brooklyn. Who else read his post that way? Hands up!

I'd have a party at my house. You all can fuck shit up, I'm trying to fuck the joint up.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

A fantasy baseball draft all day with friends, and then a post-draft celebration that night. A couple of people are actually flying in from LA for this. Someone punch me.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Yancey, if we hang out this week, I'll definitely beat the shit out of you for this whole story.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Punch me in the vag.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't see you backing up my claim that Tracer invited us to his house.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

haha that's how we DO!! get ready for genital punching, UK boys!

We can all hold "back to mine" as a reserve option.

It's too bad that you two arrive on the 15th - Friday the 14th is Danny Tenaglia.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

The 15th is the one-month eve of Tax Day though! Aren't you excited for that?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh fuck, thanks for the reminder!

― hstencil, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

he's gonna spin the lennon remix then, yeah?

and ally, as much as it pains me to say, tracer's his own man, not mine...

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 20:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 355 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

So I should just say that on Saturday I was lame and grumpy and tired and baseball-wearied. Still, it was nice to see you folks and Gareth, it was great to meet you.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Monday, 17 March 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

baseball-wearied? But the season hasn't started yet!

― hstencil, Monday, 17 March 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha yeah Ronan it's not exactly My Dinner With Andre

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 17 March 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I had my draft (aka DorkFest 2k3) all day on Saturday. All eight hours of it.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Monday, 17 March 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Hopkin Stim had more than eight hours of draft beer on Saturday, and he was in a GRATE mood!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 17 March 2003 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

That'd be him just warming up probably.

We worked out a few sundays ago that the key to a big booze-up is a dirty great curry beforehand. The beers just flew down after that.

― chris (chris), Monday, 17 March 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know what the fuck I did for the last 12 hours, it's looking ominous, my mate just texted "haha you said some funny shit last night!"

youwantbutanycocianebwoooooyamiparanoidYESYOURPARANOID.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 17 March 2003 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Yancey WAS totally lame the other night, who gets wearied out by pretend baseball? That's so weak and pathetic. I think Gareth should've kept his hat in retribution.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 17 March 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

This is where I was "WHAT-EVAH!" in an obnoxious voice.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Monday, 17 March 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

was = say

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Monday, 17 March 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

No, the other way was better because you WERE "WHAT-EVAH!" the other night! In fact, I make the universal "W" sign at you, and now I'm also holding an "L" sign to my head and yelling "LOSE-AH!"

Sadly, this actually occured at the FAP. Everyone outside of NY romanticises our exploits but in actuality we just sit there doing that, and taking risque photos to look cool.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 17 March 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

i assume people were making "L" signs when i accidentally ordered one o them baby Heinekens. i was all 'hmm three dollars that's not bad' and then they handed me a small green thimble full of beer. what-evah!!!%@#&*
(ps it was great meeting you all / seeing familiar faces!)
(pps is tobias here yet?)

― Dave M. (rotten03), Monday, 17 March 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do they put beer in little bottles? They'd sell more Heineken if they sold it in Colt .45 bottles.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING ELITIST BASTARDS, HOW COME MICHAEL BOURKE WAS'nT INVITED.(ok i flew home on the 14th hehe)

― Michael B, Tuesday, 18 March 2003 03:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone outside of NY romanticises our exploits

No actually it's just everyone inside of NY who does that; we have the best PR!

Nice to meet Dave and to see Tim H. and that other guy from London again . . .

So I'm not sure about Siberia, the time I went before I thought it was divey, this time I felt like I was on the set of Friends.

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 04:07 (twenty-two years ago)

What other guy? Gareth wasn't there. There was only this midwestern trucker, evidenced by his brown t-shirt and Yancey's hat!

god I should've developed this roll of film today cos it ain't funny without the visual.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

My exploration of the various shades and nuances of ruin continues on its sorry course (it's all a part of a huge potlatch of Sorry).

On the train into work this morning I was idly wondering (while reading The Baffler, funnily enough) what I would say about the FAP. The first thing to enter my head was "I learned how to pronounce pton_mwaah".

I'm still in NYC, but sadly only in spirit. I had a terrific time.

Sorry.

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

do not be; was great having you here.

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

HA HA

Come back! You forgot your CD opener.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Classic Englishman abroad moment in NYC elevator:

Middle aged woman: first floor?

Me: uh, yes please, thanks.

MAW: Hey! You're English!

Me: Yes, sorry.

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

But did you want the first floor or the ground floor?

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I correctly understood her to be referring to the ground floor as the first floor.

By the way, FELICITY REDWELL IS A SQUIRREL TEASE.

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Black or brown squirrels?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw a black squirrel chasing a grey squirrel on Sunday night.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

So tell us more about Rick Wakeman!!

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Squrirrels, it's not you, it's me.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 00:35 (twenty-two years ago)

All of a sudden I realized that this thread makes sense only when you're drunk.

― Chris Barrus (xibalba), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 08:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah yes OK I forgot here’s the “I’m sorry” top 5 contemporary art shows in Chelsea as sampled last Friday in a ridiculous trawl:

1. Conrad Atkinson at the White Box (525 W26th St): “Constantly Contesting”. Particularly for the ceramic landmines. It looked and felt like blank conceptualism but it’s *engaged*. Energised blank horror and disgust is a new one on me.

2. Douglas Gordon at Gagosian (555 W24th St): "Play Dead". More discomfort, both on my part and that of the elephant.

3. Al Souza at Charles Cowles Gallery (537 W24th St) the best of the Big! Pop! Fun! shows: I saw. Souza makes big bright abstracts from jigsaw puzzles. I liked the slightly skittery Christina Ray show in the back room too.

4. Mel Chin “Render” (Frederieke Taylor, 6th Floor, 525 West 22nd St): included because it was the only show I saw which was so stomach-churning I had to leave. (Bearing in mind it’s mostly wax, that’s quite an achievement, particularly towards the end of a 50-gallery trawl which could have been designed to induce jadedness). Much lovelier (Big! Pop! Fun!) thing by Beverley Semmes at Leslie Tonokow just along the corridor, even if it does involve a whole bunch of sticking plasters.

5. Jon Routson: “Bootleg (Chicago)” at Team, 527 W26th St. Feeling just a little grounded after the enormous ham and cheese omelette you’ve just scoffed at the Empire Diner? Then why not take a seat in a comfortable leather sofa and watch a film? It’s a bootleg camcorder film of a showing of “Chicago”. Restored my sense of disconnection, I can tell you.

There are tons of other things I could have included which I’m happy to bang on about if anyone’s interested but I’m working on the assumption that you won’t be. There is also a large amount of dreadful old tat, but I suppose that’s to be expected too.

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like you to bang on about this at considerably greater length, Tim.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw a black squirrel chasing a grey squirrel on Sunday night.

Proof by science that Toronto isnt the only city with an almost all black squirrel population.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

BLACK squirrels?! WTF?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw a black squirrel the other day, and I usually only see them when I'm in northern Michigan or Canada!

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

No doubt some of you - hi bnw! - will be familiar with Sarah Lawrence College: Where Even The Squirrels Wear Black.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you call it WET SWaB for short?

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

No; there are also SKUNKS there. One of my friends - let's just say she now records in a group who take their name from a Russian dog in space - was tripping her face off one late spring Sunday morning (she had crashed out on top of a canopy erected for graduation) and climbed down only to find a small black and white animal she thought was a cat. So she went after it going 'here kitty, nice kitty' and then SQUIRT. Yes, you really do have to bathe in tomato juice to eradicate *mammal* skunk stink.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I just wanted to point this out:

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/images/trucking.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks, Ally.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

holy shit hstencil does look like Brian Wilson.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

MY HAT WAS DEFILED!!!!!!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the greatest picture of all time, besides the one of Tracer having some sort of uterine contractions next to my leg.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I seem to recall pointing out repeatedly that hstencil's thatch was more Carl than Brian on the night. Sorry hstencil. But, y'know, you are to blame.

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Tim, I have like no pictures of you, were you hiding? THe only picture of you, you are covering your face.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

(psst the rest of the pics are on the "Ally's new job: Leader of Serbia" thread but beware, the Brian Wilson/Trucker pic is nice and shining up on that one too)

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I might have a picture of Tim on some film I haven't developed yet. But since I want to live, I won't post it.

― rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

You should email it to me, and I'll post it, because he knows that if he comes after me, he better come strapped, cos I'm completely insane.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I have to finish the roll of film! It also has pics of the Happy Hooker on it, too. At least, it should.

― rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i just read this thread from top to bottom in one go and now i want to live in nyc

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Er, sorry.

Photographs of me = bad ideearr.

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you want to take this outside, Tim?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry this thread got so sidetracked with our elitist in-jokes but Tim is referring to when I illustrated the squirrel-calling here.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 23:46 (twenty-two years ago)

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