No ambition.

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its true, and i think my writing has suffered b/c of it. I have essays and proposals and reviews and everything like that, and i dont care, its not even writers block in the traditional sense , its just i have no ambition, and money is running out of the trust fund so school in the states isnt going to work, and i should find a job, but its not even laziness, its something far more fundmental. its that i am so afraid of failing and i thinnk 70 percent is a fail and i dont see anything improving and i dont see the point, but i dont see anything else i can do with as much talent or skill, its like i chose writing because i am shit at everything else, and now i have found out i am shit at writing and i am like what else, whats left, why bother, oh wait a minute i dont even have the skill set for a traditional office job.

i dont want to live like this, and i dont know how to change.

― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Yr one of my favourite (in this lot) writers, and I think yr lack of confidence/cockiness is a big part of why I like it so much. So, it isn't all bad. And it's sort of realistic, I think.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

read some of yr stuff on country and its good. maybe take a break for a bit if you can.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I think you've been getting better and better at the short-form reviews on NYLPM - I don't know how saleable those things are though :( Recharge your batteries, maybe, like Julio says - or try a more structured project to make yourself write.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

i really sympathise. it seems to me that if you want to do anything outside of the nine-to-five, or anything creative, ambition is an essential attribute. what happens if you have talent, and the drive to create, but none of the attendant drive for financial/worldly success? how do you survive?

when the problem's compounded by a creative block, things must start looking really bleak. all the best to you, anthony, i hope this is just a temporary feeling.

― jeannot (jeanne picot), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"Ambition" can often be just arrogance/stupidly inflated self-belief/-centredness, y'know, it's not always that desirable a trait. Jeannot just reminded me of that...

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Most of the posts on this thread will be compliments and sympathy. You don't need those. You need a drill sargeant.

BUTTON THAT LIP AND STOP BLUBBERING, BABY BOY!! I'VE CARRIED HOME THE LIFELESS BODIES OF MEN WHOSE SNOT WAS WORTH MORE THAN YOU! DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY! YOU'VE GOT NO TIME TO WHINE ABOUT OPTIONS WHEN AL-QA'IDA IS LOOKING TO PUT A HOLE IN YOUR HEAD!!

Internalize this voice, and remember that brain activity is finite, and every brain cell used in self-doubt and regret is a brain cell not being used for a ridiculous idea that, when developed, may carry you successfully for the rest of your life.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd define ambition as a strong desire to achieve something. I'm bursting with the latent kind - all I have to do is discover what that something is! Maybe I should make that my ambition?

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I know what you mean Lara. I feel that once I find my metier I'll really make my mark, but I've no idea what it is. Maybe I should try juggling.

I've been thinking about ambition today, because I am going to apply for a job where they don't want you to apply if you aren't very ambitious. I don't feel like I am ambitious in that "I'm going straight to the top, out of my way loser!" way. but maybe ambitious in "want to do things well" way. or something.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you have an ambition to see The Chalets tomorrow night? How about trying to realise that one before taking the NEXT BIG STEP?

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

ALL OF YOU MAGGOTS MAKE SICK!! DOUBLE TIME MARCH!!! MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!!!!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

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