Bridging the Social Strata Amongst Mutual Friends And Family

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Me, I am a happy-go-lucky person. Nothing bothers me. My relationship which is excellent and thrives. It is what I always wanted. We do run up against one problem. My wife and I are direct opposites in background and social strata. That has been the cliched attraction for us both. We are complete opposites but presents a quagmire for friends and relatives. It seems to isolate her friends and family the fact that I come from a comparably comfortable 'straight' background to her family background which is mired in art and struggle. Does anyone else have comparable stories with regards to this. We are fine. Everyone else seems to have the problem. I would be interested to hear about it.

― S Samsonite, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 19:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Something similar for my 23 year relationship (which most here know ended 18 months back). We met at my temp job after I left my public school (Americans: that's a posh fee-paying thing), before I went to Cambridge. She was from a very poor background - feet get too big, cut the ends out of the shoes poor. No thought of further education or anything like that. I think I rubbed her family up the wrong way at first - I was trying to impress them, and came over as horribly arrogant. But generally I think it was no problem, we just had to adjust a bit to each other.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Yer family makes suitcases, right? :)

I'm not married, but I asked my dad a little while ago what it is like for him to meet my significant others' parents. Does he care very much what they are like? Does he get nervous at all? He said what's important is that I'm in a good relationship and I'm happy. He is not really interested in meeting the parents that much.

I asked if he thinks in-laws ever become really close. He's never seen it. His parents and my mom's parents hated each other. The only example he could think of was that his parents really liked one of his brothers' parents, but that couple lived on the other side of the country so they only actually met up a handful of times in their lives.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought you were addressing the suitcase remark to me for a moment. I was confused.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:15 (twenty-three years ago)

I was!

Oh wait, just kidding.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:16 (twenty-three years ago)

my parents went through this. my mom was from a wealthy family and very well-educated family (some of my relatives were probably the only women at Brown a hundred years ago, another was on the state supreme court of RI), but her parents and relatives all died when she was very young. my dad was from a working-class family, and he was probably the first to go to college. his family is, mostly, still alive. there is a lot of stress. priorities have come apart a bit. my only advice: for those about to marry, make sure certain key things are agreed upon, especially where to live (city, suburb, rural, etc.).

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I think it has to do moreorless with my background with the Army rather than money with her friends, at least. She's an incredibly bright and talented girl. Our relationship seems to rub alot of people the wrong way! But I suppose marrying after a month was a bit much for some. But as I pointed out to my father that was the precise time that he knew my mother! She is in the process at the moment of telling people about our marriage. It has been six months since we got married. None of her friends really know anything about me. All I can say is awkward silences can be a blessing!

Don't start me on the suitcase jokes! I've heard everyone! ; - D

― S Samson, Wednesday, 5 March 2003 20:18 (twenty-three years ago)

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