Sexy Umbrellas

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I find women who carry colorful umbrellas extremely sexy. My personal favorite is red. What do you think?

― John Long, Thursday, 6 March 2003 04:19 (twenty-three years ago)

do the umbrellas need to be open or closed for you?

― gaz (gaz), Thursday, 6 March 2003 04:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I prefer open, but a closed walking stick does it for me as well.

― JL, Thursday, 6 March 2003 18:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Sadly, the umbrella I brought in today is GRAY.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 6 March 2003 19:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Sarah, do you ever flirt with your umbrella?

― JL, Thursday, 6 March 2003 20:12 (twenty-three years ago)

I push its button. It opens.

Ha ha. Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Dan Perry is responsible somehow.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 6 March 2003 20:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Good one. Folding or stick?

― JL, Thursday, 6 March 2003 20:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Folding. It's extra tiny looking for traveling.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 6 March 2003 20:46 (twenty-three years ago)

It doesn't seem like many young women carry umbrellas today ... even folding ones like yours that can be tucked away in a bag. Is there some stigma attached? Like I said earlier, I find women that carry umbrellas extremely sexy.

― JL, Thursday, 6 March 2003 21:23 (twenty-three years ago)

I bought an umbrella in Rome. It was about 2 dollars and is cheaply made, but it's this unbelievably beautiful satin-y brown color. very sexy.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 6 March 2003 21:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I think a girl without an umbrella who lets the rain get her soaking wet is sexier.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 6 March 2003 21:59 (twenty-three years ago)

haha, been watching the Tatu video have we ;)

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 6 March 2003 22:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I wish!

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 6 March 2003 22:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Parasols with lace edges are lovely.

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 6 March 2003 22:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Look, I carry an umbrella, I even smoke occasionally. Don't I get to be sexy at all? (The answer of course is no, sadly.)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 6 March 2003 22:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine is a gray stick umbrella ... not the most practical, but large enough to share should the opportunity arise.

― Hale, Thursday, 6 March 2003 22:40 (twenty-three years ago)

the rain had already dampened her blouse by the time i offered her the protection of my umbrella...

― gaz (gaz), Thursday, 6 March 2003 22:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Running home in a thunderstorm with your s.o. when neither of you have an umbrella or even a jacket = classic.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 6 March 2003 23:22 (twenty-three years ago)

In college I preferred to get soaked, but I don't think I would last very long at my job if I did that now.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 7 March 2003 13:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Nickie and I both have very sexy green umbrellas.

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 7 March 2003 13:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I like bright colors, so I have two - yellow and red.

― heather T, Friday, 7 March 2003 15:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Agree totally with John. Red umbrellas are wonderful. They are so cheerful on a miserable day and most ladies can look stunning under a red brolly, especially if they have any olive/Mediterranean skin tone.
Royal blue or other bright, deep colors are also CLASSIC.

This will surprise nobody who had the great bad fortune to get caught up in my 'boring plastic anal-retentive yuppies' rant from a couple of weeks ago but black umbrellas, especially (for some reason) when carried by female 'homo corporatae', when rain is not expected any time soon, are one of the ultimate yuppie cliche duds. Golf umbrellas on a city street are a bloody nuisance for all concerned and therefore, likewise DUD.

Biggest dud of all: carrying an umbrella with the hook over your arm, which is impossible to do without looking like a A grade pratt (either sex) or like Mr Humphries (males).

― Fred Nerk, Saturday, 8 March 2003 01:08 (twenty-three years ago)

My first umbrella was given to me as a thirteenth birthday present and it was a bright red telescopic. I've had red umbrellas most of the time since, and I agree they lift the 'wet day blues' whereas black ones (especially) multiply them. I had a navy blue one for a while, and also one of those see-throughs that have come back into fashion lately.

I like wearing red anything (I also have a much-loved red woollen winter coat) and certainly I think the color suits most women and makes them more attractive. Men seem to like women with red umbrellas too. I suppose the bright color makes us seem more friendly and approachable.

― Karen, Sunday, 9 March 2003 10:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I used to have a red popup umbrella and someone abused me in the street for it once. At least I think that's what they were abusing. I was barely even aware that I was messing with gender roles.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 9 March 2003 14:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Fred, I picked up on your black brolly wielding female yuppies.
But I think after the John Cleese 'silly walk' killed off the umbrella twirling City gent, I hope forever, I see a change in male stockbroker-belt umbrella etiquette over the last few years. The young prat in a hurry has to find another way of showing how important he is, so now you have the outsized corporate umbrella with a logo like Armani or Merc or Chivers Regal plastered all over it. Half a dozen of these stitched together and Wembley Stadium, there's your roof! The young exec strides down the street barking into his mobile with the other hand, watching the peasants part around him like the Red Sea.

― Karen, Monday, 10 March 2003 01:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Karen,
Those outsized corporate umbrellas should be banned unless you are playing golf on the golf course. I never thought about red being a more friendly and approachable color. Now I will!

― JL, Monday, 10 March 2003 20:08 (twenty-three years ago)

After it's stopped raining I like to swing my cane-type umbrella around like a fucking ninny.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 10 March 2003 20:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a vivid red umbrella and a dark blue one. I tend to use the red one during winter and the blue in summer. But one time watching the cricket last summer I used an old red favorite I keep in the car for emergencies, as a parasol in the sun. I felt like the head teacher in Picnic at Hanging Rock, and my boy friend said he thought I looked absolutely stunning. However he wouldn't get under with me for a million dollars, although he has borrowed red umbrellas from me in the rain before.

I notice a lot of young Asian ladies using bright rain umbrellas as parasols and I think they look just lovely.

― Sally, Wednesday, 12 March 2003 03:16 (twenty-three years ago)

JL, as a (bad) artist, I know red can be a dominant color in that it draws attention to itself, which can be attractive or off-putting in various circumstances. I am pretty outgoing and that's why I like wearing red (besides the fact it's warm). Some would say it's a very sexy color, which I suppose it can be as a natural extension, but I don't see a correlation between a girl/woman carrying a red brolly and having any views/morals different to the rest of the population. Blue is more a background color, serene and reassuring, always there but not always noticed. Which might be why Sally likes carrying the blue brolly in summer.
When I was at high school in the 70s, girls who weren't too bright, but saw themselves as super cool and desireable, used to carry those huge-looking plastic dome umbrellas. Mostly these kids were five foot zilch and dwarfed by them and looked ridiculous. I had one for a little while and found they were useless in any practical sense, actually not big enough for two if you were both serious about keeping dry. They were just for show, not meant to be used, always looked better down than up.

― Karen, Wednesday, 12 March 2003 05:52 (twenty-three years ago)

par for the course viz. ladies' accoutrements

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 06:24 (twenty-three years ago)

(i mean your last sentence hur hur)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 07:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Karen: if you need any further confirmation that dome umbrellas are a joke, check out the scenes before and after the 'key party' scene in 'Ice Storm'. The sight of a sozzled Joan Allen and her equally bombed neighbour staggering to her car up up a driveway that had become an ice-rink, sharing her brolly in torrential hail, is classic.

Tracer: if ILE was to start a 'Weekly Warnie' (in honor of a recent fallen Great Oz Icon) for the crassest, most ridiculous 'mouse-in-mouth' post of the week, that last contribution would crap it in. The follow-up omly made things worse.

― Fred Nerk, Wednesday, 12 March 2003 10:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I have an umbrella stand in my stairwell that is stuffed with lots of colorful ones - some long with hook handles and some very compact and efficient looking. Sadly, most of them are broken in one way or another, but I can't get myself to throw them out. One is covered in colorful pix of butterflies.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 14:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Karen, so are we safe to say ... red brollies for ladies, black for men - Classic?

― JL, Thursday, 13 March 2003 13:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Fred, I couldn't agree more re 'The Ice Storm'. That brolly scene after the key party at 'CJ's (Alison Janney from West Wing) is indeed classic and one of the high points of a great film. BTW, did you notice that Sigourney Weaver, the man-eating bitch, carries a black umbrella into the same party?

Thanks for your support re Tracer Hands's effort. But as the mother of a 12 year old son currently going through his pre-pubescant anal phase (from which, I'm assured, a surprisingly high minority of men do eventually emerge) I have learnt the best way to handle that kind of behavior is to pretend you don't hear/see it.

JL, red for ladies is definitely classic. So is any deep or bright color or strong pattern (pref in rings). I like those art prints on brollies like Renoir or whoever but I probably prefer the pictures in frames on the wall! If I had an umbrella like that I'd probably never risk wetting it. Black for men is just a fact of life, neither classic or dud, although there is more variety now than before, besides those God awful corporate show off ones.

― Karen, Saturday, 15 March 2003 02:52 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.avopolis.gr/cinema/dvd11.jpg

can't beat catherine deneuve with an umbrella, then... sorry its not red though.

― phil-two (phil-two), Saturday, 15 March 2003 08:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Phil-two ... gotta agree with you ... can't beat catherine deneuve with a brolly, period. Are there other photos of celebrities with umbrellas out there?

― JL, Saturday, 15 March 2003 23:50 (twenty-three years ago)

JL: What you need is an umbrella fetish site, but I can't find one. Here's a nude with an umbrella, and here's a
bunch of pictures of women with umbrellas. You might be able to find some good images there. I've got an affection for charming and wholesome fetishes like this one, so tell me if you ever find a fetish site for it.

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Sunday, 16 March 2003 01:50 (twenty-three years ago)

...and if you want some stories, here's some stuff from alt.sex.stories.moderated. (Be careful about reading the Andrew R*ll*r stories; most of them are p*do and/or l*ita.)

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Sunday, 16 March 2003 02:03 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.globetrekkertv.co.uk/images/content/destination_guide/central_america/jamaica/jamaica_umbrella_woman.jpg

ooh momma, give it to me.

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 16 March 2003 03:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks for the suggestion, but I don't think I wanted to head there. Is red the only "classic" brolly color for ladies? Is there another "acceptable" color for men other than black?

― JL, Monday, 17 March 2003 19:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Burgundy is becoming classic. I saw a lovely young girl coming out of the Arts College last time it rained, no coat, just a burgundy umbrella, long blonde hair, 60s wrap-around tie-dyed skirt, incredibly graceful (poss a dance student). I also like bone white with a nice matching coat and contrasting jet black hair (like a neighbour of mine has).

― Karen, Tuesday, 18 March 2003 02:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Blue always seems to be a popular color for ladies, even some men, though for men it's always a dark navy that's almost black. Maybe for working women a deep royal blue brolly is an acceptable compromise between looking all corporate and 'serious' and retaining some individuality.

― Fred Nerk, Tuesday, 18 March 2003 08:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Agree that some shades of blue work well, but blue's a bit safe to be truly classic somehow. Still, most skin tones and colors of clothes look good under a blue brolly, and it would highlight blue eyes maybe.
I especially like the deep aqua blue, the color of blue curacao liqueur except possibly a bit darker.
JL, I don't know about 'stigmas'. My daughter is nearly 11 and she's been carrying umbrellas since she was about 8. Mostly they are those Reject Shop ones that cost less than a can of Coke and she just buys one when she needs one. They usually last a month before they fall apart, and she just buys another one. Some of the designs are really tacky. It seems they are no big deal to her one way or the other. I've already given up trying to get her to look after them, stand them up to dry, etc.
When I was that age I was just starting to be allowed to borrow Mum's old ones to go down the street to the shops, I certainly wasn't allowed to take it to school until high school, before then I'd have a fold-up rainhat in my pocket in case it rained. So when I got my first umbrella it was almost a rite of passage. I knew it was a good quality and they weren't cheap and I had to look after it properly and for the first couple of years I was almost obsessive about keeping it clean and drying it properly before I put it away. Most of my girl friends were the same. That umbrella lasted me all through my last 5 years of high school and first year or so of teacher's college.
These days umbrellas are too cheap and disposable to have the kind of sentimental/symbolic value they had for girls of my generation (I'm 42).

― Karen, Wednesday, 19 March 2003 02:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Karen, a bone white brolly is also very attractive. I have noticed that perfume companies will often give a free white (stick) umbrella with a floral design to customers that purchase a certain dollar amount. BTW- your generation is my generation as well (42). Fred, I wonder why more corporate women would not want to use a red brolly, in the similar vein that corporate men wear red ties? Would it not project a powerful image?

― JL, Thursday, 20 March 2003 17:39 (twenty-three years ago)

This is my favourite thread on ILE.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 20 March 2003 18:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Red umbrella as parasol in the sun (as Sally described a few posts back) = ABSOLUTELY CLASSIC.

Other colors just as good. Great from a health viewpoint as well, esp here in one of the skin cancer capitals of the world (Melbourne, Australia).

― Fred Nerk, Friday, 21 March 2003 07:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Using a brolly as a sunshade is something I've only done once, at a pre-Melbourne Cup brunch picnic outside the racecourse and it seemed to fit in there with the slightly olde-worlde atmosphere of the gathering, with the tartan rug and the wicker baskets and all that stuff. It does look nice and it's probably healthy and good for the skin but I feel I'm still 20 years too young to do it on the street.

― Karen, Saturday, 22 March 2003 01:39 (twenty-three years ago)

My umbrella is big enough for two people (nearly) and is bright pink with pink and black cabbage roses on it.

I don't know whether I love it, or it's hideous.

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 22 March 2003 02:13 (twenty-three years ago)

http://movieweb.com/movie/onefine/co8.jpg

― Fred Nerk, Saturday, 22 March 2003 21:47 (twenty-three years ago)

For you JL...the wonderful Michelle Pfeiffer from 'One Fine Day'

― Fred Nerk, Saturday, 22 March 2003 21:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Nice shot of Michelle and George there, Fred. I remember that scene, the look on her face is classic. The fact that brolly is up is probably the only reason George isn't wearing it where his head once was. He was behaving like a right obnoxious turd.
Speaking of obnoxious, I knew that opening the Blankety Blanks thread would reawaken a lot of nightmares from the 70s but my mind had completely blotted out the truly appalling memory of Wendy Craig with the fingernails-down-the-blackboard voice and the brains of a house-brick and an absolute commitment to panic at the drop of a hat (but otherwise totally devoid of personality) in 'And Mother Makes Three'. Of course, being typecast as hopelessly dim, one of her essential props, right there alongside fear of mice, and dreadful dress sense, was the yellow 'bubble' umbrella. If I remember rightly not much smarter (but prettier, and with much more 'personality') token blonde in Man About The House carried a clear brolly through the opening sequence as well.

― Karen, Thursday, 27 March 2003 04:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I have had red brollies before but the one I use most now is a gorgeous dark burgundy. It is the same colour as red wine and it was also one of the colours of my (no longer with us) favourite football team. I can't stand black umbrellas either and I worked in the city for many years so I saw enough of them. At one stage they tried to institute them as part of the work dress code but the union nailed them down to a compromise where it was brought in for men only. I would rather get wet than carry a black umbrella.

― Angie L, Friday, 28 March 2003 05:08 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.foxmovies.com/pictureperfect/images/j.jpg

For your consideration ... Jennifer Aniston with a yellow brolly. Angie, what kind of city business could determine that black umbrellas were the only permissible kind?

― JL, Friday, 28 March 2003 14:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually JL I've heard of that before. The traditional 'boring is in' pin-stripe businesses (law, accountancy) may do something like that in extreme cases.

Working for the Victorian State Public Service in the early-mid 90s was a nightmare after a new Liberal (that's conservative in Aust) government tried to run the PS along private business lines. Suddenly a lot of mediocre middle management with time on its hands were like kids in a toy shop with all these new rules to play with, and instituting dress codes was one sure-fire way Dilbert could impress the brass.

― Fred Nerk, Friday, 28 March 2003 23:34 (twenty-three years ago)

It seemed to be an unwritten rule in one office I worked in as a temp over Christmas one time. This was back in the 80s and to succeed in the Man's World then you had to look like one, and to look interesting to a 'head hunter' you had to make yourself as uninteresting as possible to any one else. Fortunately I was only there two months.

― Karen, Wednesday, 2 April 2003 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

i like to get my girlfreind over my knee, and gently tap her buttocks with the cane of my umbrella - she loves it!

― jimi jones, Friday, 16 May 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

ooh you saucy fella, if only my hubby would that with me. Maybe i'l get his work umbrella out for when he gets home and suggest it to him!!!! XXX

― simplesahra, Friday, 16 May 2003 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

Hearing that awful lame Hollies (a band I otherwise love) song on the radio about the boy offering to share his brolly with the girl at the bus stop led me to revive this thread. It is a million times more likely that she would be the one with the umbrella and he the one without, trying to look pathetic and draw the invitation. Notwithstanding that,if a stranger did offer to share his umbrella with me, he'd have to be at least Sean Connery for me not to tell him to bugger off.
The picture I have of that couple in the song is him done up like the junior ececutive in charge of photocopying, and her in packamac and plastic hat because her mum said sensible girls always carried one in their handbag 'just in case', and each of them as boring as the other.
The day that song came out, there were tough times ahead for the umbrella industry.

― Karen, Saturday, 5 July 2003 05:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm glad of that post. I routinely keep a compact umbrella in my briefcase, so often find myself with an umbrella when others don't have one. I do sometimes feel like offering to share with someone, and resist because I figure most people would regard it as creepy and weird and disturbing rather than generous and kind. But holding back makes me feel ungenerous and unkind. (I do not resemble Sean Connery.)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 5 July 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Karen, so what's a guy to do? I agree with Martin that I do feel like being "gentlemanly" most times, but am unsure what the response will be. Must we all be tall, dark, handsome strangers?

― John Long, Monday, 14 July 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

(I'm sorry, I'm still back on the "you can't beat Catherine Deneuve with an umbrella" line because, well, you could beat pretty much anyone with an umbrella as long as they're within reach.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 July 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Martin and John, if I am standing in the rain without an umbrella, I'm probably not in a particularly good mood. I'm most likely very aware of being cold, and of looking like a goose. If I happen to be standing at a bus stop at the time, I'm even less still of my usual charming, friendly self, because I hate public transport with a hate that borders on pathological. So,with all those irritations already there, I would be even more inclined than usual to doubt the motives behind what, even not in my already seriously pissed-off mood, I would very likely see as some condescending smarm-bucket trying to do the Sir Walter Raleigh thing with me. Such rudeness in response to a friendly offer would offend you and leave you thinking, serve the stuck-up bitch right, let her catch pneumonia with that attitude, and that would be fair enough.
So my advice would probably be, save yourself the aggravation. Don't do it.

― Karen, Tuesday, 15 July 2003 06:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Karen, have to admit ... if I was already standing in the rain and wet, I probably would be saying to myself either "get away from me" or "where were you when I needed the umbrella." Do you feel the same way about an offer to share a brolly when you leave a building?

― John Long, Tuesday, 15 July 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

John, I would probably be more likely to accept. It would all be more spontaneous, there wouldn't be this sense that you've left me to get soaked for five minutes while you've worked up the guts to offer. Also I'm more likely to accept if I know the person doing the offering.
But I'd be more likely still to offer, because I do genuinely like using an umbrella against the rain and sharing it with somebody (of either sex) and I also suppose I like to be in control and if it's my brolly being shared and I'm holding it I am.
At the football, before they banned them, was one place where I'd often share my umbrella with whoever was sitting or standing next to me.

― Karen, Saturday, 19 July 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm also more likely to accept your offer when I'm on the move, because I know it's only for a couple of minutes/a hundred yards or whatever, and I can make all kinds of excuses (I'm walking too fast/too slow for you, we're different heights, I'll just duck in the shop here and get a packet of smokes, etc etc) to get shot of you if needs be.

― Karen, Saturday, 19 July 2003 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan's post about beating Catherine Deneuve with an umbrella is exactly why they banned them from the footy, Karen. A 60-year-old brolly swinging female fan held more fears for a player than any thug they were playing against. Crackers Keenan tells a story about how after one game out at Arden Street one lay chased him around the oval for three laps (and damn near caught him).

― Bruno Carbonara, Thursday, 24 July 2003 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Nomination for 'Typo of the Week':

'Crackers Keenan tells a story about how after one game out at Arden Street one lay chased him around the oval for three laps (and damn near caught him).'

Bruno, if Crackers called her a 'lay', I'm not surprised!

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 24 July 2003 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

nine months pass...

Hi all,

I love seeing men with umbrella's it's huge turn on for me. I notice you guys were talking about a fetish site for umbrellas. I've not had any luck find a group so I started a group on Yahoo for umbrella fetishs. Please drop by and post all umbrella lovers are welcome.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/umbrellafetish/join

― CA, Saturday, 22 May 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

I love people.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 15 September 2005 09:45 (twenty years ago)

Why are you so obsessed with umbrellas today?

― The Brocade Fire (kate), Thursday, 15 September 2005 09:49 (twenty years ago)

Me too. But I dislike umbrellas.

― nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 15 September 2005 09:50 (twenty years ago)

umbrellas are the shit.

― umbrellas are the shit, Thursday, 15 September 2005 10:11 (twenty years ago)

seven years pass...

goodbye, sexy umbrellas

http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/05/how-to-not-be-a-jerk-when-its-raining/275761/

― j., Sunday, 12 May 2013 00:04 (twelve years ago)

they're shaped like oldtimey leather football helmets! lol

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 12 May 2013 00:12 (twelve years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.