He need it she don't

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what do you do when you are always horny for your woman but she only wants it once in a while?

― Bud Felky, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cheat on her of course. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a room full of Osmonds.

― dave q, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

We don't have that many multiple partners, thanks. In the meantime, if one is horny for one's woman but she is not always so inclined, a little visit to a friend called Your Hand will work wonders.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Whoops, I didn't mean 'Osmonds' as in polygamy. Spectacularly clumsy analogy by me. I meant as in 'squeaky clean'. I'd say 'Mouseketeers' instead, but I've heard loads of stories about those hot little minxes

― dave q, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I say cut off a ball. THen you will be only half so horned

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mike, you have a vision.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Why stop there, I mean if you didnt have a penis you'd never be horny,

― Ronan, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe she only wants it once in a while cos she's getting it somewhere else? Or because you are crap?

― Emma, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

either way you should probably dump her

― Ronan, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

right on emma

― anthony, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Anthony, would you say 'You go Girl!' too so I feel extra feisty?

― Emma, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

no, because i am not on rikki lake and it is not 1994

― anthony, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If you were on Ricki Lake in 1994 it would be better than being under her, considering how large she was back then.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's a bitter pill to swallow, but if she's not getting her gusset moist for you, then it's probably not meant to be.

But saying that, can I be incredibly boring and suggest talking to her about this? There may be an underlying reason you can both work out. If not, move on. Life's too short to be agonizing over someone who is unwilling/unable to reciprocate yr. affection.

― Trevor, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Some people would be relieved to be with a woman who doesn't make demands.

― dave q, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Never relieved by her though sadly

― Ronan, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well in that case Dave, remind me to introduce you to my ex some time. ;-)

― Trevor, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well in that case Dave remind me to introduce you to sex sometime

― Barry, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

try switching hands - maybe your left palm is bored.

― Geoff, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What makes you think she'd make the same amount of demands on YOU?

― dave q, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

sex is for monkeys anyways

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 4 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

Ronan's Ricki Lake joke on this thread is a serious disappointment, and I think we all need to lower our opinions of his just a little bit.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 10 October 2002 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's quantify this so we have some data to work with - exactly how often do you want it? get it?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 10 October 2002 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I like how my typo up there implies that Ronan only has little bits.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 10 October 2002 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Nabisco, you're the chickenhawk of past threads today! You scamp!

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 10 October 2002 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

In this household, we're not all that concerned with an equality balance on the orgasmometer, therefore we compromise. It's called a hand-job and when I'm up to it, a blow-job. A sexually satisfied man is a happy man and for basic prostate maintenance, we're usually talking a five minute investment in time -- that's considerably cheaper than a marriage counselor.

― ragnfild (ragnfild), Thursday, 10 October 2002 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

rooting is for plants

― unknown or illegal user (doorag), Friday, 11 October 2002 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

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