Rounders -- Classic or Dud?

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Matt Damon as poker prodigy Mike McDermott who loses all his money to Russian mobster Teddy KGB (John Malkovich sporting a pot belly and the worst Russian accent ever. Sample line: "He beyet me!" = "He beat me!") and settles into a cozy life of law school and cohabitation with his prissy girlfriend, who hates the old, poker-playing Mike. Mike's childhood best friend, Worm (slinkily played by the always great Ed Norton) soon gets out of jail, and gets Mike back on the gambling wagon. Worm never plays a hand straight, always cheating and talking shit, tossing the duo into a sticky situtation with Teddy KGB, which Mike has to fix by returning to the site of his greatest loss ("I felt like Buckner walking into Shea," he says in a voiceover) and defeating his chief adversary. The story is predictable but the card-playing scenes are great -- they play against: stereotypical boarding school fucks, stereotypical golf pros, stereotypical backwoods cops, among others. Mike's guardian angels are none other than John Turturro as Knish, the old pro, and Martin Landau as Mike's law prof (his back story: he was supposed to be a rabbi but turned his back on his family to become a lawyer instead. MESSAGE TO MIKE: YOU'VE GOT TO PLAY THE HAND LIFE'S DEALT YOU HAHAHAHA!). It feels like a movie written by a couple of poker players and then filled in with drama and love later on, and it totally works. Other great lines: "In the game of life, women are the motherfucking rake." A great exchange between Damon and Norton:

EN: "You know what cheers me up when I'm feeling shitty? Rolled up aces over kings. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them. Playing all-night high-limit hold'em at the Taj, where the sand turns to gold. Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over."
MD: "Fuck it, let's go."
EN: "Don't tease me."
MD: "Let's play some fucking cards," Mike yells as a hair-metal guitar answers his yawp with some wild finger bends (totally a Bill & Ted moment).

Finally, the opening line to the movie, which is classic: ""Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in your first half-hour at the table, then you are the sucker."

BEST MOVIE EVER

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Everytime time I play poker I just quote this movie incessantly. It's second nature. I've seen it God knows how many times. Suggestion: Movie & Poker Nite @ my house!!!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you Yancey of _Education of a Poker Player Fame_? If so, I'm in. Also, I enjoyed Rounders, thought it had some decent poker scenes. I get so annoyed when poker shown in movies is totally unrealistic, silly. "The Music of Chance" had some good poker in it.

― Colin Saunders (csaunders), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm Yancey of _Weekly $10 Poker Games_ fame. There's really a famous Yancey in the poker world? I'm gonna coast on that like Eddie Murphy in The Distinguished Gentleman!!!

The No Limit Hold 'Em scenes in Rounders were great. It's definitely the best poker game to depict on the flickering screen.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

You forget the best part -- the concept of the "tell."

Did you see the article in Harper's about the World Series of Poker in 2001? The guy who wrote it made it to the sweet 16 or something.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

The "tell" aspect is an obvious one, and Rounders made me more conscious of how I play, actually.

I didn't see the Harper's article. Do you know the guy's name? I LOVE watching poker on ESPN.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Jim McManus. He finished 5th and it was the 2000 WSOP. The article was called "Fortune's Smile."

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I walked out of the movie. It was at a discount theatre, so I only paid $2.50 (Cdn). Probably, it was partly because I felt I COULD walk out. But from the first half, it was basically Mean Streets meets poker. Norton was SOOOOOOO obviously Johnny-Boy.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll try to track the article down, Felicity. Thanx! You've seen Rounders, yeah? Did you like it?

Give it another chance, Horace! Its faults are more than obvious, but there's high entertainment value regardless.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yes. The moot court dweeb and other annoying law student characters were very realistic.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

i just found the harper's article online. i'm gonna read it later:

http://www.findarticles.com/cf_0/m1111/1807_301/68018764/print.jhtml

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone try to incorporate more poker slang into your life:

GLOSSARY OF POKER TERMS

all-in: having all one's chips in the pot

belly draw: a straight that lacks an inside card

Big Slick: ace-king

boss trips: the highest possible three of a kind

button: disc that rotates clockwise around the table to indicate which player is the last to bet

crying call: a call with a hand you think has a small chance of winning

flop: the first three exposed community cards, dealt simultaneously

freeroll: to compete with other people's money

johnnies: jacks

kicker: a side card accompanying a higher card or cards

muck: to discard or fold

rainbow: a flop of three different suits

semi-bluff: to bet with a hand you don't think is the best hand but which has a reasonable chance of improving to the best hand

slow-play: to check or call an opponent's bet with a big hand in order to win more money in later betting rounds

smooth call: a call when a raise is expected

steal: a bet big enough to cause your opponents to fold, especially when your own hand is weak

suck out: to make a lucky draw on fifth street, especially with a hand you should have folded earlier

wheel: a five-high straight, such as A-2-3-4-5.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck, truckers have less freudian jargon

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

What about my fave: flop the nut?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

The poker section of Dodge's "Stone Junction" is even better, by a hair.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

What's "Stone Junction," Sterl?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought this was going to be about baseball

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

nineteen years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMaAT_KPSs4

― Western® with Bacon Flavor, Wednesday, 5 October 2022 05:59 (three years ago)

This is a classic stupid movie, nothing beats when Damon finally figures out malkovichs very subtle, almost imperceptible tell

― Wiggum Dorma (wins), Wednesday, 5 October 2022 06:35 (three years ago)

almost spit out my coffee lmao

― frogbs, Wednesday, 5 October 2022 13:29 (three years ago)

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