Don Johnson caught with $8billion....

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... in his car by customs officials on the German-Swiss border according to The Sun )

He is alleged to have said, 'I am going to buy a car'. What excuse would you have used?

― stevo (stevo), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 14:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Last time it happened to me I said I had a few outsiders trot up at Kempton Park.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 14:20 (twenty-three years ago)

"URGENT HELP REQUESTED HELLO I AM THE FORMER NIGERIAN MINISTER OF FINANCE..."

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 14:21 (twenty-three years ago)

"I'm going to rebuild Lee Majors one thousand three hundred and thirty three times."

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 14:21 (twenty-three years ago)

"I was planning to invest in the burgeoning badger industry."

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 12 March 2003 14:23 (twenty-three years ago)

It's the more plausible version of Confessions of a Dangerous Mind!

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 14:26 (twenty-three years ago)

"I was going to buy 15 thousand pink suits."

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 14:46 (twenty-three years ago)

"It's the dowry from Antonio"

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 15:09 (twenty-three years ago)

B-B-But officer...! I was on my way to pay for this really really gREAT prostitute.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 15:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Is this story reported anywhere else? The only other place I found it was IMDB, which a) quotes the Sun and b) rather fucks its credibility with an article down the bottom which reads "We recently stated that Tobey Maguire met his fiancee Girl A while still engaged to Girl B. We understand now that he has never been engaged to Girl A or Girl B."

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 15:15 (twenty-three years ago)

"What, this money here? Oh, I was just gonna -- HEY, LOOK BEHIND YOU!!" *runs*

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 15:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Also, it would be great to hear a German spokesman say "Actually, it was only 7 billion. In other news, free medical insurance for all Germans this year!"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 15:18 (twenty-three years ago)

"Once I got past the RC helicopter mission, the money just started rolling in..."

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.theherald.co.uk/news/archive/12-3-19103-0-19-55.html

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Man, them "Miami Vice" residuals are something else! The other guy must really be pissed.

― Charles McCain, Wednesday, 12 March 2003 17:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Sure Miami Vice is good for a few billion, but add that to Nash Bridges, and well, well you're practically Extropian !

― Skottie, Wednesday, 12 March 2003 17:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Meanwhile, Philip Michael Thomas is looting the dumpster behind Wendy's...

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 17:59 (twenty-three years ago)

"Yeah, this piece of ass. I fucked her..."
http://www.amlgroup.com/photos/don_johnson.jpg

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 18:04 (twenty-three years ago)

And how does Jasmine Bleggh or Bulehguh or Blethghtg or whatever figure into this? She got arrested for something too, recently, but I think she barely had cabfare. Maybe she had $8 Billion in Enron shares in her tote bag.

― Skottie, Wednesday, 12 March 2003 18:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Yasmine Bleeth? She got arrested on coke a couple of years ago but has cleaned up (or whatever) and is now in Playboy. (I saw her promoting it on Carson Daly's show, which I Tivo'd because Ali G was the other guest.)

Don and his ladyfriend up there look like they are carved out of exotic wood.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 18:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Don and his ladyfriend up there look like they are carved out of exotic wood.

Definitely. And her scarf is either holding her head on, or is disguising some alien body parts that reveal her to be... an Extropian!

― Skottie, Wednesday, 12 March 2003 18:26 (twenty-three years ago)

who is that lady? I feel as though I should recognize her? is that...it couldn't be...Mary Bono?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 18:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Or Ali G., which is always a possiblity these days...

― Skottie, Wednesday, 12 March 2003 18:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Tom's answer is the funniest one. I can't even come up with something to say after that. My life has been rendered meaningless.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 20:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Wait a second, the $100 bill is the largest they make. So he had at least 70 million bills in the trunk (assuming we're talking USD). Is that even possible?

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Thursday, 13 March 2003 00:41 (twenty-three years ago)

There's $1000 bills and also I believe $10,000 bills.

― slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 13 March 2003 01:02 (twenty-three years ago)

And he didn't have bills on him, he had stocks and whatnot.

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 13 March 2003 01:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Automobills?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 13 March 2003 01:13 (twenty-three years ago)

tbirdbills perhaps?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 13 March 2003 02:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Taking Sides: Don Johnson's cherry vs. Don Cherry's johnson

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 13 March 2003 03:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Like that's even a contest!

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 13 March 2003 03:12 (twenty-three years ago)

FAQ from the Treasury Deparment website:

What denominations of currency are in circulation today? Will any new denominations be produced?

The present denominations of our currency in production are $1, $2, $5, $10, $20, $50 and $100. The purpose of the United States currency system is to serve the needs of the public and these denominations meet that goal. Our present currency in circulation satisfies the public at large, and the Bureau of Engraving and Printing (BEP) has no plans to change the denominations in use today.

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Thursday, 13 March 2003 03:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Don Cherry always said, 'Keep Both Hands On The Stick!"

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 13 March 2003 03:41 (twenty-three years ago)

The 1k and 10k bills are, IIRC, for use among banking institutions/the Fed.

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 13 March 2003 08:21 (twenty-three years ago)

The 1k and 10k bills are, IIRC, for use among banking institutions/the Fed.

Generally speaking, financial institutions don't deal in cash. The $8billion could be in like short-term Treasury bills or something though the likely answer is that the story is not true.

― adam (adam), Thursday, 13 March 2003 13:46 (twenty-three years ago)

can you really fit $8 billion in a car?

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 13 March 2003 13:48 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe he had one of those giant cardboard lottery-win cheques

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 13 March 2003 14:08 (twenty-three years ago)

it probably is a combination of bonds, tbills and other notes. Good as cash when your dealing in that volume. Now that its no longer the 80s or even the early 90s nymore institutions don't require the handcuff to the wrist suitcase act anymore for large transactions.
Imagine, the internet has a use!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 13 March 2003 15:01 (twenty-three years ago)

he needed the money to help Ron Davies "look for badgers"

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 13 March 2003 15:42 (twenty-three years ago)

a suitcase filled with more than £5bn-worth of share certificates, cheques, credit notes, and bonds.

From the report linked to above.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 13 March 2003 19:19 (twenty-three years ago)

it wwould be better if Daniel Johnston had 8 billion dollars

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 13 March 2003 19:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Or better yet Dwayne Johnson.

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 13 March 2003 21:18 (twenty-three years ago)

He looks quite cheerful there, ol' Rocky, doesn't he?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 13 March 2003 22:20 (twenty-three years ago)

but neither of them could've pulled: "you're ruining the shot! dammit! now the copter has to circle around again! do you realize you're not supposed to be here? these? what? oh. props. yeah! have one! i'll autograph it for ya. nasty day for shootin a movie, huh?"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 13 March 2003 23:55 (twenty-three years ago)

"nous parlons le francais seulement, mr..... ?"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 13 March 2003 23:56 (twenty-three years ago)

He *is* $8 billion richer.

― Leee (Leee), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:49 (twenty-three years ago)

"Hey, it's just counterfeit money"

― oops (Oops), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:54 (twenty-three years ago)

"I was going to purchase the remains of the Hasselsloth, officers."

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 14 March 2003 12:33 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

Where's yer $8 Billion Now, Crockett?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 May 2004 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Hucklebuck, you don't have to do that - if any other thread has a link TO this one, it's listed at the top at the end of the question. Just click on the "trackback" link. That's the beauty of tracklinks/tracksbacks, whatever they're called.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 10 May 2004 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Although actually I just tried it and the system appears to be a little temperamental, so..

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 10 May 2004 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

i've been told that Don Johnson is looking terrible these days.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 17 July 2005 16:23 (twenty years ago)

poor lad
at least my boss is doing his bit to keep the memory of his glory days alive by wearing white suit jackets and pastel undershirts

― dahlin (dahlin), Sunday, 17 July 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

His new show is going to be amazing! The kid from Undeclared!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 18 July 2005 03:45 (twenty years ago)

four years pass...

Don Johnson, plaintiff:

On the stand last week in a civil trial over the profits from his hit 1990s show "Nash Bridges," in which he played the eponymous San Francisco police inspector, Johnson told the jury of his business acumen and foresight. Throwing around terms like "pay or play," "AGR formula" and "amortize," Johnson said he conceived of "webisodes" long before anyone else in television was thinking about the Internet, and made sure to retain half of the copyright to "Nash Bridges," a show he helped conceive.
"I wanted to own the copyright ... the copyright protected me and my rights as an artist. And my economic upside," he said. Johnson, now 60, said a show starring him was a coveted piece of business in Hollywood in the mid-'90s because of the success of "Miami Vice."
"I was the 'it' guy for television and, you know, for pop culture at the time," he said.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 July 2010 12:45 (fifteen years ago)

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