Going to the gym.

Douglas, the boys all stand around the gym chit chatting with each other instead of exercising, so they don't need to talk in the lockers.

Maybe too it's a little passive-agressive power play, like how if you have a dog that is acting up, you have to do a stare-down and WIN in order to put it in its "place" in the pack. So maybe the naked chat thing is kind of a subconscious pack-arranging competition, as if anyone cares whose "turf" the NYHRC locker room is.

We see you. It's not a one-way mirror.

1. Even if there is a lockerrom full of empty lockers, the only other guy in there (who is usually naked and still wet and soapy from his shower) will choose a locker next to yours so he can chit chat about his hanging hemorrhoids and how they feel like they are going to burst when he pushes more weight than he should on the squat machine.

2. Even if you are the only one taking a piss and there is a whole row of urinals available for use, the guy you want to avoid most in the gym will come in and use the pisser right next to you and start a conversation on how the kidney stones he is trying to pass feel worse than the time he had gonorrhea from a bad bar experience in Bangkok. He usually also makes it a point he isn't shy when shaking his wank nor is he shy about taking a peek at yours while you are either staring up at the ceiling, down at the floor or straight into the wall to avoid eye contact with him at all costs.

3. If you are taking a dump so guy will start calling for somebody. Sometimes he want you and sometimes it is someone else. It doesn't matter cuz he'll look under the partition to make sure the person he is looking for isn't trying to avoid him. When he makes contact with you in that awkward position, even he was looking for someone else, he will undoubtedly strike up a conversation about the wife, kids and/or the amount of fiber necessary to keep his bowel mobements regular, which, if you haven't guessed by now, are anything but... in fact, he's either been constipated or had diarrhea all week and a detailed and graphic description of said malady is now in order.

the only time i like mutually naked conversations is when i am making out or about to sleep with someone, and even then it can be a hassle.

Ally, you go to the gym everyday? i feel ashamed of my laziness.

this doesn't actually happen to me at the gym (usually because I am busy accusing people of stealing my stuff)

Ha, once I somehow managed to leave my purse out of my locker (my theory is I knocked it out and didn't notice, because I always ask for a "floor locker" because it's easier to get the lower ones, however you don't notice if you knock things out when they're the ground level). No one stole it! They brought it up front, cash, jewellery, cell phone and all. I was very surprised by this, I thought it was gone forever.

THe thing with my gym is that you don't choose your locker, some guy up front gives you a key. The people up front are all very nice and personable, but they must be DUMBER THAN ROCKS because even if it's an empty gym with like 500 lockers, inevitably every single person in the gym is in your alcove. I mean, I go to a very expensive gym*, I'd like a little leeway so that I'm not like ass to ass with someone else while getting changed.

* note: I go to Reebok Sports Club/LA, but I don't actually pay close to full price, my company owns part of Sports Club/LA. HOWEVER if I was paying full price, there'd be hell to pay.

Actually, people who have that much to spare deserve it, what am I talking about. That's ridiculous! Now that I'm staring at that in writing, I am dumbfounded. It's not like it's particularly nicer than any other club.

AGAIN I don't pay anything close to full price before anyone gets disgusted with me.

I love people who make friends at the gym. There's a sweaty dude who always seems to pick the bicycle next to mine who has sweaty friends come up and talk to him about pumping iron in their legs. I bet they think he's a wuss because he uses an exercise bicycle instead of running or doing something manly like that.

Ally, I think people pay boucoup bucks to go to the swank exercise clubs cuz it's more about the whole ... err.... being seen thing than the actual exercising.

Je dois aller de nouveau à l'école.

I used to go to a college gym, but it was crowded and sucked. The showers were full of scum and the locker room smelled like feet. I'm so glad I got a Gazelle™ off the black market!

man acquitted of assault on gym grunter

oh man, they both sound so obnoxious.

today i ran 2 miles further than my previous longest run just because the area was so pretty. it is unfortunate that a gym isn't good enough, you don't get good weather and beautiful settings everywhere.

guys i really don't like going to the gym. and i'm always wondering about these people who go to the gym alll the time. i mean surely there are other things to do

I've got a gym membership for the first time. It's on the college campus I work at, but its a new facility and isn't gross or anything. And I don't even have access to the VIP Locker Room ("The Rothwell Club"). There's a swimsuit water extraction machine in the locker room. This is something new to me. My biggest complaint is that the staff are all total assholes. And the disco lighting, incessant nu-rock (College!) and rows of TV's are pretty distracting. I try to go three times a week, but rarely make it that much. I get a pretty good staff discount.

My university's gym is plagued by old men who never seem to do anything but stand around in the locker room naked.

Oh somebody already mentioned that! I guess it's a universal thing.

I had an argument with the staff in my pool last night!

Not really their fault but the place seems to treat actual swimmers like crap, guess we don't bring in enough cash.

I get free membership to the public swimming pools at my adjoining gym, but it's so frustrating having to swim there. It's a fairly large indoor pool but they seem to only ever have one swimming lane open at a time. The rest of the pool is constantly being taken up by the muckabout crowd, the other half to teach three kids how to swim. And on top of this a full grown man was being taught how to swim with buoyancy aids and everything IN THE FUCKING SWIMMING LANE. So there's all these people competently crawling past this poor bloke who's floating in the water and being condescended to by his instructor while everyone swears at him to get out the way.

My pool have over the last 3 months

Extended lessons to 7:30PM eating into swimmers times
Not put any lanes in on the days they claim lanes are available
Take lanes out whenever they feel
Removed all time tables for the pool and not replaced them so you can't complain about what they do because "we have no time tables"
Putting lanes in for the Scouts who start at 8 at 7:45 dumping them infront of me.

So fuck you, Park Pool Ormskirk.

"And on top of this a full grown man was being taught how to swim with buoyancy aids and everything IN THE FUCKING SWIMMING LANE"

my pool also do this, I have no idea how it's arranged I see no list of prices for individual lessons my guess is the instructors get the clients and as they know the pool staff they get a cheeky lane in for it.

So I kinda go to the gym on the reg now and I'm drinkin smoothies and I bought the gallon drum of whey powder and shit. What other steps are required to make this into a lifestyle choice, and how can I avoid them?

I want to be healthy, not one of those dudes that casually mentions muscle groups in conversation.

Like should I just make sure I get a healthy weekly ration of cheetos and stoner metal or what

bueller

hoos, i think you may just have accept yourself as a dude with a healthy lifestyle and realize that exercise does not somehow turns you into a meathead?

I think taking the whey protein is a step too far.

by what standard

Too much effort put into it, not to mention that it tastes awful if not prepared just right. Also, the consumption of whey generally results in the bulky look I usually associate with meatheads.

yeah but HOOS isn't a meathead so wtf

He's worried about turning into one.

that is some bizarro transitive property shit, just sayin

being healthy is great - it makes u feel good and gives u a fun little project to work on - just try not to talk abt it it too much

i would advise against tank tops and powerlifting belts

i could see hoos as a yoga dude tbh honest

yoga is great btw just to be clear

i need to get on this tbh

ya jho i take that as a compliment + thx but i have tried yoga but lack gr8 flexibility due to premature birth issues

ive been good abt the exercise part for a while and now im trying to bring the eating healthy piece on board

lack gr8 flexibility due to premature birth issues

wait what is this now?

i was premie too, also not very flexible

u dont need great flexibility to do yoga - but obv i dont know yr particular physiological situation

yah elmo i was born 3 months premie. november due date, came out in august.

I'm fine with most things but still have a minor limp and my right heel doesn't like being on the ground

how is this related to flexibility? i have never thought of linking those in a causal relationship. i was 7 weeks premie, btw.

Well I say "flexibility" I mean mainly that I don't have the full range of leg motion I'd like.

I've never taken a yoga class just followed along w/my gf's DVDs. I'm sure if I took a class any issues I might have would be corrected.

ok -- i have some minor joint issues and i had hoped for a second you had uncovered their secret origin? but also maybe not.

I take whey protein and am not a meathead.

hoos turn to the 'your routine at the gym' thread for tips (currently posting via iphone so cannot c+p linx)

i just joined a gym. now what do i do?

cancel membership

learn to ignore the stench of death

gonna get sw0le

Rule #2: Don't wear tight clothes that show your package. Conversely, don't wear short shorts.
Feel like rocking the electric blue spandex unitard? The bike shorts without the bike? Think again. Girls don't want to get to know your package before they get to know you. Besides, those form-fitting get-ups are a little Mr. Universe creepy, and chances are you aren't Governor Schwarzenegger. On the other end of the spectrum, short shorts elicit the same reaction. Plus, there's fear of wardrobe malfunction on sitting down for bicep work. They call 'em Daisy Dukes for a reason; short shorts are for girls.
The Fix: Work out in loose fitting gym shorts or pants and a cool t-shirt or tank. If you're cut in just the right places, it's evident without the Lycra enhancement.

Certainly ASS TO ASS is a lot more tolerable than NUTS TO BUTTS as it sometimes gets when there's a traffic jam waiting for the showers in the morning at my gym!

― order some disorder, Sunday, March 30, 2003 9:02 PM

i love going to the gym. i am really strong now.

post your PRs + shirtless pic

and a poorly shot video of you doing hang cleans

hee